How to re-attract a plate

[Juanto]

Hi guys,

I was banging this plate some 4 years ago for some 6 months before dropping it ( as I found better options) but now i want to have a crack at it again. So we got back in touch, but right on the 1st date we had where she come to my place she got very defensive asking where was this going, and why I dropped her like a sack of potatoes all those years ago. I told her i didnt want a relationship at the time, and suggested now to just let it flow and see where it takes us, without making any promises. Her defenses are quite high at the moment and even though we are going out, last time I invited her for dinner at my place she said she couldnt that day, but also said she felt my invitation had "second intentions" or a hidden agenda.

Whats the best way to go about this now, just being patient and continue to go out and flirt with her, or tell her that the only way to see if this can lead anywhere is if we get intimate like we have before, and see how it goes, because im not interested in being a platonic friend?

 

[Filter]

I don't see an alternative to hanging out with her and making a move (or repeatedly doing so).

If she's asking these questions about what happened all those years ago, but is still actively meeting up with you, she is probably still interested on some level and wants to see where things go, but she was also probably a little hurt last time. It could be worth it to look into how you ended it with her, if you were cordial and explained the situation clearly, or if you just went ghost or whatnot.

It's up to you whether or not the patient approach she may need is worth it. Personally, if a woman has her guard up around me and won't let me fvck her without serious work, then I won't bother with her unless I really think she may have the potential to be more than just FWB.

 

[marmel75]

Hi guys,

I was banging this plate some 4 years ago for some 6 months before dropping it ( as I found better options) but now i want to have a crack at it again. So we got back in touch, but right on the 1st date we had where she come to my place she got very defensive asking where was this going, and why I dropped her like a sack of potatoes all those years ago. I told her i didnt want a relationship at the time, and suggested now to just let it flow and see where it takes us, without making any promises. Her defenses are quite high at the moment and even though we are going out, last time I invited her for dinner at my place she said she couldnt that day, but also said she felt my invitation had "second intentions" or a hidden agenda.

Whats the best way to go about this now, just being patient and continue to go out and flirt with her, or tell her that the only way to see if this can lead anywhere is if we get intimate like we have before, and see how it goes, because im not interested in being a platonic friend?

I wouldn't have invited her over right away...that obviously is going to lead to her defenses being high...think about it. Invite her out for a drink somewhere and if she is still attracted to you it won't be very hard to get her all hot and bothered while you two are out.

 

[Juanto]

It could be worth it to look into how you ended it with her, if you were cordial and explained the situation clearly, or if you just went ghost or whatnot.

I did go ghost that time before. Told her now it was because I just didnt want a relationship at the time (bullsh*t)

 

[Juanto]

I wouldn't have invited her over right away...that obviously is going to lead to her defenses being high...think about it. Invite her out for a drink somewhere and if she is still attracted to you it won't be very hard to get her all hot and bothered while you two are out.

It does sound like the best way to go.

Since she declined my invitation on last saturday to come over on sunday, should I wait til next week for another invite for drinks?

 

[marmel75]

It does sound like the best way to go.

Since she declined my invitation on last saturday to come over on sunday, should I wait til next week for another invite for drinks?

Yeah, you can try that...just pretend her declined offer never happened and invite her out for a drink and say you want to catch up with her. Just go out and have fun. It will happen soon enough if there is still attraction.