I Dont recommend online dating sites for average/normal looking guys

[Clueless2k16]

did an experience with 2 profiles, one is a good looking guy maybe a 9, high cheekbones, hair, angular face, good eye are and me.

I didnt get a single hit, and when i try to talk to women there they just block me or act like im invisible, whereas the good looking guy is treated like a god.

I dont know what to do, as i have no friends to go to bars and discos, also im bald, have ptosis in one eye and im out shape, although the good looking guy has only face pics.

So looks matter after all for women, even fat women avoid me like the plague and if your self esteem is weak like mine and your not good looking (a 7+) online dating will destroy it even more.

 

[Rainman4707]

I understand what you're saying.

Do what you can to look as good as you can. Some good looking guys still work LOTS on there appearance. so don't be half arsed about looking good. Don't go out with creased clothes, I know it's basics, but brush your teeth, morning, night & after every meal..

One thing I notice is your SoSuave username. Dose'nt sound confident.

You might think i'm being harsh, i'm just trying to help you.

Your main problem seems to be confidence. I recommend Paul McKenna's book on confidence.

Most guys quit online dating after 3 months because they aren't receiving any messages back from girls. STICK WITH IT. DONT QUIT.

I also recommend David De Angelo's program Meeting women online. That program is very insightful & worth the money.

 

[Clueless2k16]

im just giving an advice from experience, dont put all your eggs in the online dating basket, i think there's more sucess meeting women outdoors than using tagged, tinder or something like that.

 

[Southbound29]

It's pretty much a well known open secret what dating apps are. Now that you have solid proof what these women are really like and what you're up against I suggest getting off your ass and getting a gym membership or buying a weight bench and start shredding. Forget about women and work on yourself. It's been said time and time again this is the best approach. Focus on you and don't stop moving forward. It might take a long time but eventually the women will follow. As long as you're improving you'll hit a point where they can't ignore you anymore.

 

[Asmodeus]

I do not even use dating sites... I am not a bad looking guy by most women who would rate me. Maybe not that "9" you posted, but still handsome enough to at least be able to at least hit most women's minimum specifications. Even then dating sites were far less easy to work with than in real life... You have to send a large amount of messages and you completely miss out on that personal interaction. You just become a picture and a few words of text...

Working on your looks is not too easy... Certainly you can change up your style, get fit. But there is always a limit to that...
However working on your charm and your interpersonal skills seems to have no limit. I have made it a habit to just cold approach women on a DAILY basis. It is like practice to me to learn how to be persuasive and charming. Learning how to break the ice, get a woman to laugh, how to read cues and body language, ect. It also builds your confidence which you Clueless2k16 need to work on... The more you do it the more you realize that it is not that difficult and the more successful you get.

On dating sites I would get rejected or ignored by 80% of the women I would try to send messages to or converse with... In person women rarely completely ignore me. In dating sites I would get a number or a date maybe with only a few of the 20% that actually responded to me... In person, so long as the woman is single I am typically able to get a number or a date at least half the time if not better. Consistency is the key, consistently approaching and talking to women on a daily basis and soon enough it will take you minutes to scour through your telephone contacts list to find a name...

Expand your social circles too... I do not mean you need to go to the bar with a bunch of friends. But get to know people in the bar/club/ect and do not sit back holding the wall, for instance I always get to know the bartender and talk with them if they are not too busy. Meet a few people mingle, talk, and do it consistently. I walk into the local bars and despite going alone I have a half dozen people saying hello to me as I walk in and the bartender already has my beer of choice ready for me before I sit down. This creates a kind of social status when girls see that you know a lot of people and they know you. If you are in Costal Virgnia Clueless2k16 then I can wingman with you... Mostly to push you to approach women and do those things which you are afraid to do and so you can perhaps pick up a thing or two (I don't typically utilize a wingman because I am mostly fearless with women).

 

[cola]

Yup. Online dating will not workout well for average looking guys. You either need a top 10% face, a fit body or indicators of wealth.
(Picture next to expensive car, etc)

One way around this is social proof pictures. A picture of you hugged up with females slightly hotter than your online targets.

I also did well with dog pictures.

My online dating puctures look like this:
-Picture shirtless with a pump from gym

-Picture of a hot chick kissing me while my facial expression looks like I'm barely playing her attention

-Picture of me hugging my dog that died

-1-2 good angled/good lighting face shots

My first message is always
"Just a small town girl"..

They either finish the song lyric "living in a lonely world" then I say "great song"
Or they say "Huh"?
Then I tease them for not knowing the song.

If I am aggressive I can get 1 date a week using this method while online dating

 

[Rainman4707]

I had more luck Online than I did cold approaching. I found cold approaching, most women are'nt interested.I think women feel more intruded when you cold approach.

I've had a few girls I know tell me that the reason they liked me online was because of my shirtless pic with my abs ripped.

 

[Clueless2k16]

thing is if i go below 14% body fat i get gaunt in the face. i dont have good facial bone structure so its either abs or face. it happened before lost lots of b/f and got ripped abs but i looked like a rat (before my ears were pinned back).

 

[casanova_goat]

thing is if i go below 14% body fat i get gaunt in the face. i dont have good facial bone structure so its either abs or face. it happened before lost lots of b/f and got ripped abs but i looked like a rat (before my ears were pinned back).

I have the same exact problem. I could get into tip-top shape. Kill myself in the gym and maintain an airtight diet but I won't look as flattering with clothes on.

 

[dustmuffin]

well crap...maybe i'm good looking. Working on the body. I find old very easy. Tinder isn't so bad either.
I can round up a couple dates on old pretty quick. I posted my method on another old thread. Just keep trying. Don't let the rejection get you down. It's a very low time investment way of getting dates. I have two pictures. One in a suit and one of me at the gym.

Im going to start a fitness bootcamp monday. I want to get ripped so I can have even more success with better looking women. Anyway I will be dating less and exercising more. I want to get in the best shape I have ever been in.

 

[Clueless2k16]

as i said i can get ripped easy for my age with willpower and supplements/diet , the problem is i will look like a cocaine addict afterwards. no abs would save me if i took a picture looking like that. there's always the option of a tan and facial hair, but i have weak facial hair on the sides as well (although i can grow a goatee easily). damned genetics. it's called runners face.

i looked something like this

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/12/06/article-2244031-166199D3000005DC-92_964x1885.jpg

 

[MrWood]

fvck, still with this are you? If just change this, or that to my face...
Looks have nothing to do with anything, and most have told you ths 100x here.

I just had a casual date with a 22yo HB9 blonde Dutch girl from hotel reception in Holland

again...
I am 50yo, 5'8, grey/bald
I have a paralized arm
I cant stand up straight from nerve damage/scoliosis
I have a big scar under one eye
I have 0 tatoos
I am not G. Clooney

so do you think I got the date because of my looks?

 

[casanova_goat]

fvck, still with this are you? If just change this, or that to my face...
Looks have nothing to do with anything, and most have told you ths 100x here.

I just had a casual date with a 22yo HB9 blonde Dutch girl from hotel reception in Holland

again...
I am 50yo, 5'8, grey/bald
I have a paralized arm
I cant stand up straight from nerve damage/scoliosis
I have a big scar under one eye
I have 0 tatoos
I am not G. Clooney

so do you think I got the date because of my looks?

In the world of online dating, it matters.

 

[Asmodeus]

Its the ASPD

You look like a serial killer sorry to say.

Really I look like one... I have heard that my eyes look void and that I have a blinkless stare that is always focused on a person. Hmmm... I need to work on getting more natural facial expressions and to tense the muscles around my cheeks and eyes a bit more in response to social verbal and nonverbal cues... Do not know what to do about the stare... I guess I will randomly divert my eyes to another object when in conversations...

Thank you, finding things I need to fix and work on helps me out. Blend in right...

 

[PeasantPlayer]

I don't picture well so I could care less, I get approached by women in real life, but on dating sites my less attractive friends get more Poon, so what's the theory on that?

 

[casanova_goat]

When it comes to online dating it is little more than pictures, women are superficial on these sites, as are men (as expected). I really resent it when someone who has had success with online dating is bent on imparting his "technique". Online dating is little more than pictures. There is content but who the hell reads it if the looks criterion is not met?

If you're not having success with online dating right away, it may be an egregious waste of time for you in the long run. It was for me.

I've had a lot more success in person because certain positive qualities are able to come through in the flesh.

 

[MrWood]

my last 4 LTR are from OLD spanning 15 years
my latest plate is from OLD
so... whatever

 

[Atom Smasher]

Tip: Use one or two pictures that are distant enough to make you look as good as possible. The farther away from the camera (to a degree), the less your face structure matters and the more your general shape is accentuated.

This will cause more women to respond as they're not able to do the insta-reject because of a facial close-up. Once you hook them with your conversation style, they are likely to become far less hung up on facial features. I have this gay looking picture I use with me standing at the edge of the Hudson River with my arms raised holding onto tree branches, and it pulls like crazy. You can't see my face close-up, yet its still visible enough to get an idea of what I look like.

Find the sweet spot distance-wise and you will pull more. The farther away, the less your face matters and the more your overall body shape matters.

 

[Clueless2k16]

Ridiculous.

Not convinced that OP is serious.

yes im serious,i looked like the third pic, i started to get a skeleton look on my face which was very unhealthy because as i said i dont look good with less fat on my face. Espi i understand you are one the experts in the Health&Fitness part of the forum, have you seen this happening to guys you know @ the gym (the gaunt face look) and what do you recommend? Not going below 14/16 & bf?

thanks

 

[Rainman4707]

@ clueless - forget about getting a six pack. I hear all these guys obsessed about getting a six pack, doing fifty situps a day.
I was more ripped two years ago than I am now. Me, personally, I work out with weights a few times a week & like to go running & go out on my bike especially now it's summer.

My point is i'd rather have a bit weight on me & not have a six-pack, than be skinny with a six pack. You think your face is to skinny. My advice is, start bodybuilding & eating properly. Kidney beans, porridge, LOTS OF MEAT, I think you'll look better.

My friend has a similar problem to you, he cannot find a GF. He was online for about three years, but couldn't find anyone. I decided years ago to help him because I felt sorry for him. He was lost. I gave him & only him advice for three years, wingmanned for him too.
Just the other day I saw a picture of him on facebook pretending to be gay (he wonders why he cannot find a girl) he just dose'nt get it.

He was very fat, but then he lost A LOT of weight. He looks a little like his skin is loose. I think he could do with a good bag of chips down him

@ Casannova great - Yes, online is mostly pictures, but you've got to have a little game too.