Girls being defensive

[Fugitive]

Why do girls get defensive?

Talking to a few chicks right now and one of them I asked when she last went on a date. She got all defensive about it. I questioned her and she said she didn't want me to start asking her more stuff like when she last kissed or had sex. She admitted in the end that her last date was 1 month ago.
It's also not just this but she's been defensive about other stuff too including photos of her and her friends.

Before the paranoid guys say next her and she is ****ing 10 different guys - no she isn't chill the f*ck out lol.

 

[spikeanut]

OP I think you're putting too much credence into it. Women are moody and you won't be able to figure them out. What you should be asking yourself is, why does it matter? It does not. There is no benefit in going down that line of questioning, has no relevance to you, and is ultimately a turn off for chicks. If a woman does not initiate discussions about her past, you bringing it up does two things in her head: 1. shows her past matters to you enough for you to ask, 2. you care too damn much about her. Even though you say you don't care, her perception is that you do.

 

[marmel75]

Why do girls get defensive?

Talking to a few chicks right now and one of them I asked when she last went on a date. She got all defensive about it. I questioned her and she said she didn't want me to start asking her more stuff like when she last kissed or had sex. She admitted in the end that her last date was 1 month ago.
It's also not just this but she's been defensive about other stuff too including photos of her and her friends.

Before the paranoid guys say next her and she is ****ing 10 different guys - no she isn't chill the f*ck out lol.

I'm gonna ask why the Fvck would ask these type of questions? What possible good is going to come of it?

 

[hockeyfreak79]

She was probably more bored or annoyed with the lame question, as she pointed out you'd probably ask similar ones. Amateur beta questions, she's disappointed and was hoping you had some real game. Spike summed it really well too.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

For the record, I think guys who instinctively 'next' women are missing out on great sex.

No, it's an essential part of the screening process. It depends on the situation but if you are tallying up a bunch of red flags it's best to move on for new prospects rather than lowering your standards for the possibility of "great sex".

 

[mrgoodstuff]

She was probably more bored or annoyed with the lame question, as she pointed out you'd probably ask similar ones. Amateur beta questions, she's disappointed and was hoping you had some real game. Spike summed it really well too.

It's more powerful to have her wonder those questions about you.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Everybody is insecure about dating, relationships, and sex.

So when you start asking those questions, it FEELS like you are digging to specifically to find things that SHE feels inadequate about.

In your example, asking "how long since you've been on a date" is the pretty much the SAME (in her mind) is asking "how desirable are you?"

Of course she's going to get defensive.

Start off with VAGUE questions that don't require a specific answer. Then judge HOW she answers those questions to see if you should proceed.

Talking to girls about something they are clearly UNCOMFORTABLE talking about is a GUARANTEED way to kill her attraction for you. Doesn't matter what YOU think about the questions or why YOU are asking them.

The trick is to ask them questions about themselves that they ENJOY talking about, that few other people ask.

That gives her the "feeling" of "he's really interested in me" AND "he makes me feel really good." AND "he's different from most guys."

AVOID AT ALL COSTS any questions that put them on the spot. (Unless you're purposely trying to be so annoying she never wants anything to do with you).

 

[Fugitive]

So a few people have come leaping in saying she should be defensive and why bring it up. Just to contextualise it, we had already had a discussion on past relationships, this was brought up by her and she was the one asking questions not me. So the past was already covered ground. That's probably why I found it more surprising that she got defensive.

She was comfortable talking about her past relationships but not comfortable talking about her recent dating history and also not comfortable talking about kissing/sex.

The question is why get defensive? If something turns you off you can react in a number of ways including not replying, cutting the guy off, reacting angrily to him etc. A defensive approach correct me if wrong but it says to me that you're hiding something and don't want the other person to think less of you. Lots of girls are ingrained with the I don't want him to think I'm a slut mentality.

She also said that she doesn't kiss on the first date. So that made me think again that she is worried that I will think she's a slut if she does get physical with me.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Ehh, if you're looking for a relationship, I agree. If you just want great sex, like me, I couldn't care less if she doesn't talk to me until three weeks later when she's horny again.

But I'm talking about the guys who instantly next a girl the second she does something he doesn't like.

If you do that, you'll be perpetually nexting women...for the rest of your life.

All women act stupid with us men at one time or another.

It's my job as a man, quite simply, to fvck the stupid b!tch out of her.

Yeah I agree with this to a point, I prefer not to be a b*tches back burner option that just jumps at her beckon call. But yeah not gunna lie I'm guilty of doing it in the past. Who knows what they picked up in those 3weeks they were mia. Plenty of stories on here were that's happened.

It's usually the younger guys/newbies on here with sh*tty oneitis situations where you'll see guys telling them to next/move ect.

 

[MrWood]

i never ask a woman about her past relationships, partner count or last date.
when they ask me, i give the same answer:

we did not know each other before we met, your/mine history is not relevant.