"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Letting her down easy

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These ladies are college aged.
Haha nice. and good for ya! Noticed you said you were looking for a LTR in another post. Also looking in that same age group? In which case, yeah def need to be careful haha

and @AttackFormation .. no doubt man. Sorry if I came off the wrong way.. Just kinda pet peevish for me when I see people make statements that generalize all women the same.. It's kinda like a PUA mindset ..

You go to a diff country/travel a bit.. You realize all women are not like college chicks/ sexually active chicks in AMerica lol
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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wifehunter

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Haha nice. and good for ya! Noticed you said you were looking for a LTR in another post. Also looking in that same age group? In which case, yeah def need to be careful hahal
Yes, I have my wits about me, not drinking or anything. I'm completely clear headed and sober, and with plenty of time to think! I also have friends in high places, as it were!
 

BeExcellent

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There is always the little white lie approach. You could say to her "you're very sweet but I'm seeing someone" or "You seem like a nice person but I'm more interested in someone (insert qualifier here that she does not have)", or something like that. Let's say she's 21. Just say you are really more interested in someone closer to your own age. If she flirts and asks why, tell her you really want someone with similar years life experience as you. Something she can't overcome.

It's less in what you say than how you deliver it. I'm the same way frankly. If someone is not my cup of tea I am very sweet about it but I smile and tell them gently. I make it a habit never to discourage someone from approaching me as I wish to reinforce the confidence to approach someone else (and I think being ugly to someone who has paid me the compliment of being attracted and making the approach is inconsiderate.)

I am gentle but direct myself to handle this sort of thing. Maybe that is more your style if you don't want to tell a little white lie.

The thing that I will most often do is smile sweetly and say "You are so sweet to notice me. I'm sure you are a lovely person. I'm just not feeling it...but I really do appreciate the compliment" I am caring and genuine when I say this to a man I am not interested in. Men have complimented the way I handle this repeatedly and some have told me that they appreciated my honestly and the way I treated them with kindness, courtesy and respect. It's still a rejection. But it's a gentle rejection that appreciates the other person's humanity.
 

wifehunter

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There is always the little white lie approach. You could say to her "you're very sweet but I'm seeing someone" or "You seem like a nice person but I'm more interested in someone (insert qualifier here that she does not have)", or something like that. Let's say she's 21. Just say you are really more interested in someone closer to your own age. If she flirts and asks why, tell her you really want someone with similar years life experience as you. Something she can't overcome.

It's less in what you say than how you deliver it. I'm the same way frankly. If someone is not my cup of tea I am very sweet about it but I smile and tell them gently. I make it a habit never to discourage someone from approaching me as I wish to reinforce the confidence to approach someone else (and I think being ugly to someone who has paid me the compliment of being attracted and making the approach is inconsiderate.)

I am gentle but direct myself to handle this sort of thing. Maybe that is more your style if you don't want to tell a little white lie.

The thing that I will most often do is smile sweetly and say "You are so sweet to notice me. I'm sure you are a lovely person. I'm just not feeling it...but I really do appreciate the compliment" I am caring and genuine when I say this to a man I am not interested in. Men have complimented the way I handle this repeatedly and some have told me that they appreciated my honestly and the way I treated them with kindness, courtesy and respect. It's still a rejection. But it's a gentle rejection that appreciates the other person's humanity.
Actually, thats on the money... I'm seeing 6 plates... I should be honest and tell her I'm exploring all my options.
 

grayclif

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If she's 40 I'll tell her I don't date women over 35. If she's 35 I'll say 30. Whatever fits the situation.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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wifehunter

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If she's 40 I'll tell her I don't date women over 35. If she's 35 I'll say 30. Whatever fits the situation.
Thanks, I would rather be honest, or keep my mouth shut.
 

grayclif

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Thanks, I would rather be honest, or keep my mouth shut.
You want to be honest but you won't tell her you're not attracted to her. If you would've just been honest and told her you lacked attraction for her from the get go you wouldn't have had to post here to find a workaround for being honest.
 
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wifehunter

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You want to be honest but you won't tell her you're not attracted to her. If you would've just been honest and told her you lacked attraction for her from the get go you wouldn't have had to post here to find a workaround for being honest.
I was just looking for different angles/perspectives.

It's complicated (isn't it always with the ladies)... But thanks anyway!
 
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