Preparing for a LTR Burial

[Tictac]

You do seem extra 'down' these last few days Des.

This girl stuff is pretty exhausting sometimes. But seems like you fell in a hole of some sort.

 

[Desdinova]

Was always my rationale taking back cheaters, and just made it 10x harder when we broke up.

I never take a woman back. I also have no solid evidence this chick cheated on me. I don't even have a good enough suspicion that she did.

I need to mull over this whole thing a bit longer. It takes me a while to make an ultimate decision. I'm not happy with the discussion we had. I'm not thrilled with her wanting to have her cake and eat it too. However, I AM thrilled at having 4-5 other women WAITING for me to become single so they can date me. A clean slate is nicer to look at as opposed to a slate with disrespectful 5hit written all over it.

This is a VERY low quality girl.

This is why I don't like dating women in my age range. They're fvcking disasters. They're set in their disrespectful ways. I would've been better off keeping the 21 year old fatty that I wasn't attracted to.

I still don't have the ultimate decision of when I'm going to kick her to the curb. All I know is that I'm not going to keep this woman around for a whole lot longer. I could look past her very plain body if she was respectful with regards to the relationship. Now she just looks like a cvm dumpster.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I AM thrilled at having 4-5 other women WAITING for me to become single so they can date me.

Tell her you want to see other people and have an open relationship. She'll either dump you, or more likely I think, pretend to dump you and then later throw herself at you on occasion, not caring if you have been with anyone else. It's a win-win.

You seem obsessed over creating some sort of masterfully clever revenge scheme. That thinking only drags you down to her level.

 

[C-quenced]

You seem obsessed over creating some sort of masterfully clever revenge scheme. That thinking only drags you down to her level.

That's rather easy in execution. Just disappear from her life as if you've never existed. Go ghost and enjoy life to the fullest..... without her.

 

[Desdinova]

Before I get into the comments, I'm going to tell you guys that I'm always better at making decisions after I've had a good sleep. This is why I prefer holding off on doing things until I've had some time to let it sit in my brain. This morning, I woke up with the reasons to get rid of her and how I'm going to do it.

The Reasons: I had told her that my most successful relationship was with a woman who had NO male orbiters. Her and I had mutual respect for each other because neither of us had to worry about disrespect with regards to the opposite sex. I told her that every other failed relationship was due to things happening with regards to the opposite sex. Her reasons to continue being disrespectful towards me were "I'm not any of your exes", "That's just the way I am", and "I'm not giving up my (male) friends for anybody". She is incorrect about not being any of my exes. She embodies most of them, and in some ways she's WORSE than them. A woman who feels the need to continue to behave this way and is insisting that it's perfectly reasonable to make me feel like 5hit (and I should just swallow the 5hit and call it ice cream) is not right for me. This relationship will never succeed.

The Method: I'll be sending her a lengthy message via Facebook. I've been with her for a total of 8 months, so she at least deserves to know why I'm ending it. I've always insisted on breaking up through the easiest, most convenient means possible. A lengthy message does not give her any chance to interrupt, and gives me the opportunity to get ALL my thoughts across. I will likely send it to her tomorrow. I have a meeting this evening with a friend who is providing me information that is essential for my plan of being debt-free by age 45. This carries more priority than writing a break up message to my soon-to-be ex-girlfriend.

And now, your comments...

Tell her you want to see other people and have an open relationship. She'll either dump you, or more likely I think, pretend to dump you and then later throw herself at you on occasion, not caring if you have been with anyone else. It's a win-win.

That's an interesting angle, but I'm more interested in cutting her off completely. The reason for this is that I may have to interact with her in the future, and I will have to interact with her friends and co-workers in the future all because of my field of work. I don't need to be tainting my work field with a bunch of drama and rumours. It's better to cut her off completely and keep my respect generally intact.

You seem obsessed over creating some sort of masterfully clever revenge scheme. That thinking only drags you down to her level.

I'm not sure where you got this from. I generally don't feel the need to get revenge on my ex-girlfriends. In a few years, I'm going to be debt-free and in a nice house. Living well is generally the best revenge. All she's done is become a product of our female-empowered society. That is not her fault. Her unwillingness to make changes and behave in a respectful manner in an exclusive relationship is her fault, but that only warrants a break-up.

That's rather easy in execution. Just disappear from her life as if you've never existed. Go ghost and enjoy life to the fullest..... without her.

Yup, that is what living well is all about.

What I think is funny about this whole thing is her willingness to throw around the M word, but have it only on her terms. If a woman is genuinely interested in having a successful marriage, she should do what is necessary to achieve a successful relationship in order to accomplish this goal. Instead, women have been spoiled by having a marriage on her terms.

Once I craft my breakup letter, I will post it here for all to see.

 

[zekko]

I dunno about Slickster but I wouldnt describe Guru and Rollo as "positive"...Rollo is married and tells ppl not to get married, read his blog.

This always used to confuse and bother me back when Rollo used to post here regularly. He was vehemently against marriage, but he claimed to be happily married himself. The whole "Do as I say, not as I do" type of thing. His answer to this was that his message was directed at guys who were just starting out, who were beginners.

As per usual, she believes that there's nothing wrong with women having guy friends, and she's not going to be giving up her guy friends for anybody, including me..

I would have to take that as a slap in the face, as putting her male friends above me, and as her daring me to do something about it. At the very least, she's openly making it plain she is incompatible. With me, anyway. I'm not trying to tell you what to do. It just seems that she's openly declared it's not going to change, so you have to decide if you are going to live with it or not.

Personally, in this situation, if I had 4-5 girls on Facebook just waiting for me to be single, I would explore those options. Maybe they won't be better than this one, but the way things are going, it doesn't sound like they are likely to be much worse either.

Oh? Go look for a woman who has no guy friends? Okay, well let's take into consideration the time you need to put into dating, the time it takes to date a woman and find out how many guy friends she has, the rejection rate for women who aren't interested, and let's throw in some sex to satisfy my needs and maybe a couple more STDs for me to deal with.

It CAN take a while to find a girl if you have standards. The key is to find someone who has the same basic philosophy as you overall, someone who tends to think the same as you across a broad spectrum of things. That will make it more likely that she will agree with you on some of the more specific stuff.

 

[Prime_Beef]

Don't get this. .You haven't done her in a month.. she is Cuban, yes? Went to Cuba, came back, and now nothing.. no news of dying parents, other tragedies taking her time..Prime_Beef ' s rule #1: If you're not doing her, someone is. Who, what, how, when .. not important. Only the why.. she's not interested, you don't ring her bells as much as someone(s) else. Just tell her it's not working out, I need to see more of you than I'm seeing. Proceed to date others. If she's interested or wants to be a bootie call in between seeing the guys in Cuba or elsewhere that ring her bell, she can. Permanent off girlfriend prospects list. I don't understand you young guys, wtf is the deal with facebook.com that you want to advertise your ststus, and share personal information with strange women with? Women u meet and may potentially date? Facebook, where your friends, family and maybe kids check up on you? Too much power and information over you. Foolish. No woman unless you are in a strong relationship of some time should have that, know those people. It's none of those women's business if you're single, if you ate crab cakes at the crabby patty last night, that you live square dancing and believe in saving the whales...a little mystery goes a long way. You kids give these people too much information, without the context to properly frame it. Stop it. Good luck on the next one. Btw, I was a single dad for years. .. i hope you're not introducing these chicks to your kids. Not until you know for sure this is going g the distance. Damage done will be substantial. ..

 

[Desdinova]

she is Cuban, yes?

No

I don't understand you young guys, wtf is the deal with facebook.com that you want to advertise your ststus, and share personal information with strange women with?

I generally don't share personal information on Facebook. I share my personality. Big difference.

Facebook, where your friends, family and maybe kids check up on you?

My family is not on my Facebook.

It's none of those women's business if you're single, if you ate crab cakes at the crabby patty last night, that you live square dancing and believe in saving the whales...a little mystery goes a long way.

Again, I don't share that boring 5hit on Facebook unless I add a punchline. I treat Facebook like I'd treat a bar with all my friends and acquaintances in attendance. I don't walk up to people and say "I had a hamburger for supper, and then I watched TV." Nobody gives a fvck about that. Instead, I'll write something like "I had a hamburger for supper, and it laughed at me when I realized I forgot to add mustard". It's fvcking stupid, but it's more entertaining than being flat out honest.

When I run into my facebook friends in real life, it's quite often they comment about how funny my status updates are. It's gone to the point where my social circle actually TALKS about my Facebook when I'm not in attendance. THIS is where you want to be. You want to be on people's minds when you're not around them. You become memorable because you're interesting.

Anyway, I have a breakup letter to write...

 

[channingtatum]

Be a man and break up with her already, Christ.

 

[Desdinova]

Be a man and break up with her already, Christ.

That's like saying "be a man and just unplug your dad from life support". For fvck sake, permit me to be a human with feelings. I spent 8 months with this chick.

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

She went to Cuba for two weeks on vacation [without you]

I saw her once shortly after. I'm about to head into week 3 of not seeing her.

The last contact she had with me was on Thursday. She claimed that she was really busy with work that week. The only reason she called me was because I ran into her best friend who asked how she was doing. I told her I really didn't know because I haven't seen much of her over the past month.

No overt breakup necessary.There is nothing to end. This "exclusive" relation already ended. She ended it with the covert, behavioral language quoted. How do you respond? Disappear. You treat indifference/disinterest with ABSOLUTE removal of your time and attention.

In the past, I think I've been a bit too quick to cut women off,

No such thing. If you had cut off preemptively, a woman of high IL would have fought her way back. If she didn't come back, your "quick" cut-off was indeed merited.

so I'm giving her until the end of Tuesday to initiate something.

Nothing to give. It's over. Disappear.

 

[logicallefty]

In your situation Des I would end it with the text "Hey I hope all is well. With our schedules these days and both of us being so busy it doesn't seem like the right time for us to be together. Maybe later this year or another time. It's been fun. Take care."

 

[HeadLightsOn]

while the positive approach of guys like Rollo, Sl!ckster and Guru1000 leads to unhappiness....

Um, I haven't seen 'Guru' 1000 on here in ages, in fact if I'm not mistaken, he didn't even finish some experiment he posted on here ages ago. He also gave out some dodgy advice IMO - but each to their own. So Im not so sure your role models are all great guys.

 

[grayclif]

@Desdinova why did she go to Cuba?

Watch "Cuban Men - Why Foreign Women Fall Hard" on YouTube

 

[mrgoodstuff]

@Desdinova why did she go to Cuba?

Watch "Cuban Men - Why Foreign Women Fall Hard" on YouTube

They didn't go there to do nothing and that follows for almost any of these type of trips. They going to want saucey stories to tell to their girlfriends. If she didn't need to do anything there she would've insisted you come.

 

[Kailex]

Let me be honest for a second, Desdi - I found someone who I am currently sharing my life with.

She has had none of the hallmarks of all of my previous relationships/plates. She MIGHT be in the elusive 5% of quality range. We've been together for over a year and a half now and she's checked off a lot of boxes for me. I still qualify her every single day.

So now, I think, what if she went to Cuba for two weeks without me?
#1 - She wouldn't.

But what if she did?

#2 - She'd be finding ways to contact me while she was away.

What would happen when she came back?

#3 - First person she'd want to see is me and as immediately as possible.

Would she let a whole week go by without her seeing me and trying to spend an increased amount of time with me?

#4 - Absolutely not. And there's no way she'd be content with me not reaching out to her, she'd make it happen no matter how busy she is with work.


I'm sorry man, but this girl is failing all of the "keeper" checklists in my book. If you want to continue while being detached emotionally, go for it, but she's already failed. If you have to sit here and play the "timetable" game, then it's better for you to not engage this relationship on a serious level. Take it at face value or move on. But a woman of high interest is not taking that trip and then coming back to limited visits with you. Whether she cheated or not is absolutely moot. Her behavior after her return is all the evidence you need in order to come to a final verdict. I'm not saying that you are - but don't try to guess at what happened during the trip. Something might have, maybe nothing at all did happen. Regardless, her disregard for you since would leave me wanting to light that ship on fire and push it out towards the horizon.

 

[zekko]

I don't understand you young guys, wtf is the deal with facebook.com that you want to advertise your ststus, and share personal information with strange women with?

I think there must be something about us older farts that overvalue our privacy, or just hold on to our old habits. I don't have Facebook, and I don't really like having details of my life publicized. But I can certainly see how things like Facebook could be useful tools for attracting and picking up women. Or at least for identifying potential targets.

 

[Desdinova]

@Kailex: excellent post. I haven't bothered to guess what happened on the trip. I honestly don't care. She may or may not have fvcked around. My interest in her hasn't been all that high from the beginning. I figured she would or wouldn't elevate my interest with her behavior. My interest coasted along around the same level, and because of her nearly 1 month absence, it has dropped quite low.

I'm writing her a breakup letter mostly out of courtesy. I don't hate her, but I don't want to be with her. I drop women without explanation if they fvck around or highly piss me off. I don't feel either of those ways with this woman.

I'm sending her the message this evening and then going no contact.

 

[Kailex]

@Desdinova - You don't always need an explanation in order to drop someone. In fact, the dating world would be much better off if relationships took this approach versus staying for completely ridiculous reasons. It took me until my 30's to realize that I should just drop people who weren't adding value to my life, and not only to drop them, but I could just drop them for the smallest of reasons.

Much like your situation now, I didn't hate a lot of the women I ditched, I simply didn't think they were representative of the type of woman I wanted in my life for more than a few weeks. So why keep them around for any more time than need be? In your case, it's almost a year long of a relationship, but a 1 month break definitely does not a relationship make nor maintain. This is NOW, imagine what it might be like in the future.

You're making the correct decision.

 

[Muscle brain]

The Power of the Pu$$y!
This H0es ain´t Loyal and jump from C0cks to C0cks like Jane in a Tarzan movie.
Forget about LTR women just want to have Fun and Wild S3X.
If you don´t provide it to them today she will always find another dude who will stand to attention..
I work in a well know Fashion store since years with more than 40 gorgeous Woman and i banged a lot of them.
Some of them trust me a lot. I look good, train 5 times a week and eat clean since 6 years.
We go out every weekend and those girls tell me things that they usually say in the women locker room.
Like with whom they banged for the weekend and who´s the biggest $lut right now in the store and freaking sh1t i can´t even wright here...
So long story short i will never ever trust a gyal and do a LTR with them. Even when you think that you have find the PEARL..
Forget it.
Monday is you
tuesday is jack
wednesday is tom and so on..
Just Bang the Ladys, have fun, enjoy the Pu$$y, but never Waste your money and Precious time.