"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Whats my best play here?

Young OG

Young OG

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 6, 2015
Messages
1,247
Reaction score
1,060
Location
USA
I rarely need advice now, but here it goes...

Backstory: My 26 yr old POF date on Saturday flaked on our date. I didn't respond back. She text me 3 hours later with a counter offer for next Saturday. I will give her 1 more chance. But, my question isn't about her.

After she flaked, I messaged some woman on POF and got a new date for that night in under 20 mins. So, I met this 22 yr old at a bar for drinks around 1145pm. I would have met her earlier, but she worked till 11pm. We hit it off good, I made her laugh a lot, and we each had 2 drinks. I failed on getting her back to my place after. By her car, we kissed a lot (w/ tongue). She asked me to text her when I got home. I did and she said she had a great time and wants to see me again. I probably messed up texting her the next day in the afternoon and trying to set up a date, but its to late now. I suggested next Sunday (were both off on sun & mon). She said "probably, I'm busy during the day but I'm not sure about that night." Then she said "I'll have to let you know." So whats my best play here? Do I wait for her to contact me? If I don't hear from her by the end of the week, should I contact her? I'm guessing its just to wait till she contacts me...
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

dustmuffin

dustmuffin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 21, 2015
Messages
2,495
Reaction score
1,423
Age
63
Young OG said:
I rarely need advice now, but here it goes...

Backstory: My 26 yr old POF date on Saturday flaked on our date. I didn't respond back. She text me 3 hours later with a counter offer for next Saturday. I will give her 1 more chance. But, my question isn't about her.

After she flaked, I messaged some woman on POF and got a new date for that night in under 20 mins. So, I met this 22 yr old at a bar for drinks around 1145pm. I would have met her earlier, but she worked till 11pm. We hit it off good, I made her laugh a lot, and we each had 2 drinks. I failed on getting her back to my place after. By her car, we kissed a lot (w/ tongue). She asked me to text her when I got home. I did and she said she had a great time and wants to see me again. I probably messed up texting her the next day in the afternoon and trying to set up a date, but its to late now. I suggested next Sunday (were both off on sun & mon). She said "probably, I'm busy during the day but I'm not sure about that night." Then she said "I'll have to let you know." So whats my best play here? Do I wait for her to contact me? If I don't hear from her by the end of the week, should I contact her? I'm guessing its just to wait till she contacts me...
Click to expand...
Let her contact you. Try to set something else up don't wait on her. She is checking out her options and you are not the best yet. If she dose contact you late in the week and say she can go it will feel sweet to say oh im busy now lets do something on x. It shows you have other options too.
 
E

EyeBRollin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2015
Messages
10,536
Reaction score
8,536
Age
37
Usually my response to "I'll let you know...." is:

Ok, great. Get in touch with me when you figure things out....

Then proceed with booking with someone else. If they counter with "well, I still want to see you just call me <day before / day of> to verify..." you must maintain frame.

"<name>, I don't call back to verify. I'm a busy guy. We can do something another time when your schedule is more clear."

The key is to never accept "I'll let you know" as an answer in the first place. You have to establish up front that your time is valuable. If she is unwilling to make definite plans, be unwilling to commit to the idea of seeing her. That way if she flakes on definite plans, nothing will be ambiguous about her low interest or low character.
 
El Payaso

El Payaso

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
3,621
Reaction score
2,624
When she said "I'll let you know".

Say "Cool. Let me know and I'll let you know if I'm free or busy."

It's a good response because it still keeps you in the driver's seat of being the one to dictate the time.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

E

EyeBRollin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2015
Messages
10,536
Reaction score
8,536
Age
37
Young OG said:
Thanks for the advice. I guess I did mess up accepting I'll let you know. At least I know what to do next time. I'll wait for her to contact me, but if she says shes not busy, I'll have to say that I'm busy now.
Click to expand...
You don't have to intentionally blow her off to "get back at her." You just have to control the situation up front. You haven't blown this one yet. Next time she is free, make the date. Just don't accept her changing plans or giving you a wishy washy non-commitment to meeting.
 
Lozboss

Lozboss

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 27, 2015
Messages
709
Reaction score
205
Location
London, UK
This is a firm no contact. If she gets in touch you say you're busy and rebook for another time- regain frame and control.

meanwhile you find someone else worth the date next Sunday.

View dating as Sales- it's a numbers games and some will drop off and then come back. Just be in control of your pipeline and constantly add to it at every opportunity as some will fall off, sometimes for no reason whatsoever.
 
Young OG

Young OG

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 6, 2015
Messages
1,247
Reaction score
1,060
Location
USA
I'm definitely waiting for her to contact me. If she doesnt, it's her loss then. If she contacts me, if still debating if I should tell her I'm busy now or if I should tell her that I may be busy and I'll let her know.

I should have a date for Saturday night at least. I just met a hb9, so I'm going to try to set up a date with her or reschedule with the girl that flaked last Saturday.
 
Y

Yewki

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2013
Messages
1,504
Reaction score
589

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

marmel75

marmel75

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
7,175
Reaction score
5,571
You messed up by doing exactly what she told you to like a little puppy. She tells you text me when you get home and you do exactly what she said.

Fail.
 
Young OG

Young OG

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 6, 2015
Messages
1,247
Reaction score
1,060
Location
USA
marmel75 said:
You messed up by doing exactly what she told you to like a little puppy. She tells you text me when you get home and you do exactly what she said.

Fail.
Click to expand...
She asked me to text when I got home cause we were drinking and I had a 30 min drive home. It was to make sure I got home okay. So your saying I shouldn't have texted her then?
 
marmel75

marmel75

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
7,175
Reaction score
5,571
Young OG said:
She asked me to text when I got home cause we were drinking and I had a 30 min drive home. It was to make sure I got home okay. So your saying I shouldn't have texted her then?
Click to expand...
Hell no. She isn't your mother. She is some random chick you met for the first time. Make her reach out to you.
 
SeymourCake

SeymourCake

Banned
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
1,523
Reaction score
363
You should always lead. Wait until this weekend and send her a text message to set up another date. That way she knows you're interested in her and she won't feel insecure about the first date.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

J

Julian

Banned
Joined
Jul 30, 2003
Messages
4,754
Reaction score
1,216
I dont ever plan for a fkin weekend...haha thats special time.

I always make plans for THE SAME DAY. Look how much success you had getting her for drinks in 20 min...


Best way to play this is hit her up randomly at like 6 pm on a wednesday "Heading to ___ for a drink tonight, wanna join me"

Boom headshot. guaranteed azz
 
Y

Yewki

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2013
Messages
1,504
Reaction score
589
Young OG said:
She asked me to text when I got home cause we were drinking and I had a 30 min drive home. It was to make sure I got home okay. So your saying I shouldn't have texted her then?
Click to expand...
Your rationalization is so cute. To let her know you got home okay. Awww.

No, and if she actually asked you to do tht you shouldn't have agreed. "Don't worry about me I'll be fine"
 
Young OG

Young OG

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 6, 2015
Messages
1,247
Reaction score
1,060
Location
USA
Yewki said:
Your rationalization is so cute. To let her know you got home okay. Awww.

No, and if she actually asked you to do tht you shouldn't have agreed. "Don't worry about me I'll be fine"
Click to expand...
After reading some of the responses to this thread, I've determined that I have a lot more to learn then I originally thought. At least I know what to do in a situation like this next time.
 
marmel75

marmel75

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
7,175
Reaction score
5,571
Young OG said:
After reading some of the responses to this thread, I've determined that I have a lot more to learn then I originally thought. At least I know what to do in a situation like this next time.
Click to expand...
On a positive note, you'll start seeing the same things over and over so once you learn how to respond properly, it becomes funny because you will already know the outcomes before you do them.

As in, if I do this to this particular thing then here is what's going to happen. Not all the time, but a good 80-85% of the time you'll see it happen.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
Top