She called things off out of nowhere...

[Airstryke]

I posted this on the NC thread but thought I'd create my own also. Been a rough few days...


I stumbled across this site a couple of days after she blindsided me with the "I'm not ready for a relationship" line. We had been together for 3 months and everything seemed great. Met through a work friend after she noticed me making the rounds at the office. I guess that's the frustrating thing about all of this...SHE was the one that initiated things. Once we started talking, I knew I was hooked.

It's crazy because we never had one fight or argument. The relationship was respectful, fun, and invigorating. I think that's why I'm so torn up about it. It would've been so much easier if there had been a concrete reason to call things off. Now it's over. Out of the blue. She told me it was due to her not fully healing from her failed marriage but she left him 2 and a half years ago. How long does it take to heal from something like that? And why would she chase me to start with if she wasn't ready?

I can't get my mind off of her. We sent a few messages back and forth during the week (she cut the cord on Tuesday) and then she went to hang out with relatives and said she'd "think things over" and reply when she got back which was yesterday. I tried to explain to her how these connections don't come up often and to not be scared of something great. As of today, it's been 3 days since she sent that last reply and I haven't said anything since. I'm beginning to think she may not reply at all. If so, I guess I'll just have to take that as my answer and move on. It's really painful when you find someone that you really feel something for and that you're genuinely excited about only to have it blow up just as fast as it began...

 

[Tictac]

What she says doesn't matter at all because what she does says everything.

Do not contact her.

 

[macallik]

I'm with @Tictac , you need to pay attention to her actions because that is what truly matters. Personally I have experienced issues with being rejected after getting to know someone as well, but when I sit back and evaluate the situation it is often my damaged ego that I am nursing more than actual feelings for the person.

Judging from the interaction, I think that your concern lies in the idea that you don't meet a lot of women that you feel like you 'click' with, so you don't want to let go of this ex. The fact of the matter is, perhaps you don't meet a lot of women because you are not out initiating and approaching women, and so you wait for women to come to you, and would rather stay chasing a disinterested woman rather than putting your ego on the line and attempting to meet new women?

 

[RangerMIke]

I posted this on the NC thread but thought I'd create my own also. Been a rough few days...


I stumbled across this site a couple of days after she blindsided me with the "I'm not ready for a relationship" line. We had been together for 3 months and everything seemed great. Met through a work friend after she noticed me making the rounds at the office. I guess that's the frustrating thing about all of this...SHE was the one that initiated things. Once we started talking, I knew I was hooked....

Welcome... we are guys helping guys and telling you exactly how it is. It's called swallowing the "Red Pill" which means seeing male/female relationships for what they really are. Read the DJ Bible, and Book of Pook, most of the advice people will give you will be based on those tomes. First lesson... one way or another women ALWAYS initiate, they will put themselves in your orbit if the are attracted to you. It's perfectly normal and appropriate for women to pursue you... in fact they are happier when they are doing the pursuing.. of course they don't know this about themselves... They will tell you that it's the man's job to pursue... but in reality if you do this, then they lose respect for you.. no respect = no love.

It's crazy because we never had one fight or argument. The relationship was respectful, fun, and invigorating. I think that's why I'm so torn up about it. It would've been so much easier if there had been a concrete reason to call things off. Now it's over....

This should have been a red flag for you. Women get bored with 'comfortable', the fact that you never argued likely meant that you always gave into her, or went along with what she wanted. Women will say they want a man that caters to her needs and wants, but the fvcking truth is that she does not want a man that she can control, you are not a challenge and therefor she never had to invest in the relationship. If she is not actively working to keep you, then she doesn't really value the relationship. If realtionships are too easy, then she doesn't value it.

Out of the blue. She told me it was due to her not fully healing from her failed marriage but she left him 2 and a half years ago. How long does it take to heal from something like that? And why would she chase me to start with if she wasn't ready?....

Trust me... this was NOT out of the blue, women lose interest slowly, but when they do it's over. Any reason she gives you for breaking things off, other reason than you don't make her va-jay-jay tingle is complete BS, and is said to try and spare your feelings and/or to justify her decision. A woman in love with a man will not care about anything else, she will find a way to break through obstacles to be with you. However, I will say that a recently divorced woman's emotions are all over the place. They run hot and cold, and it's hard to date them. BUT if you follow the DJ Bible you are not going to let the emotional roller-coaster to get to you. If she goes cold, you just walk away and wait for her to come back... while you go after more women. Eventually she comes around or disappears, either way you are acting like a man. Which is what she wants.

I can't get my mind off of her. We sent a few messages back and forth during the week (she cut the cord on Tuesday) and then she went to hang out with relatives and said she'd "think things over" and reply when she got back which was yesterday.

You need to stop this sh!t right now. Do not contact her anymore.. period.

I tried to explain to her how these connections don't come up often and to not be scared of something great. As of today, it's been 3 days since she sent that last reply and I haven't said anything since. I'm beginning to think she may not reply at all. If so, I guess I'll just have to take that as my answer and move on. It's really painful when you find someone that you really feel something for and that you're genuinely excited about only to have it blow up just as fast as it began...

You are LOGICALLY arguing with a woman... this is a waste of time. Women do not make logical decisions, they make emotional decisions, then justify their decisions with reverse logic. She doesn't feel anything for you bro... sorry that is the truth, if you want to have any hope of turning this around you have to become the prize, she has to pursue you. What you should do at this point is to stop trying with her... go out and date other women, join a gym, work out and get in the best shape of your life. Work on yourself and let her know other women are interested in you and she'll be back. She was attracted to you... and you lost her because there was no sexual polarity and you exhibited weak behavior. Fix that and you will find relationships with women are much easier.

 

[macallik]

Welcome... we are guys helping guys and telling you exactly how it is. It's called swallowing the "Red Pill" which means seeing male/female relationships for what they really are. Read the DJ Bible, and Book of Pook, most of the advice people will give you will be based on those tomes. First lesson... one way or another women ALWAYS initiate, they will put themselves in your orbit if the are attracted to you. It's perfectly normal and appropriate for women to pursue you... in fact they are happier when they are doing the pursuing.. of course they don't know this about themselves... They will tell you that it's the man's job to pursue... but in reality if you do this, then they lose respect for you.. no respect = no love.

I disagree 100% with the idea that women lose respect for you if you pursue them. They are uninterested if they don't want to be pursued by you, but convincing yourself and others not to initiate with women sounds like ego self-preservation more than sound gaming. If you are too 'confident' to approach a woman and she is too 'confident' to approach you, then you two don't meet.

This should have been a red flag for you. Women get bored with 'comfortable', the fact that you never argued likely meant that you always gave into her, or went along with what she wanted. Women will say they want a man that caters to her needs and wants, but the fvcking truth is that she does not want a man that she can control, you are not a challenge and therefor she never had to invest in the relationship. If she is not actively working to keep you, then she doesn't really value the relationship. If relationships are too easy, then she doesn't value it.

So you are saying that the OP should purposefully find a woman he likes to argue with? Do you write advice for Cosmo magazine in your spare time? I jest but take a step back and think about how harmful this advice can be for a long term relationship? Can you imagine if your male friends had to actively work to keep you in their lives? That sh!t would get boring quick and you just wouldn't get invited out to things anymore. You are unintentionally recommending relationship suicide.

BUT if you follow the DJ Bible you are not going to let the emotional roller-coaster to get to you. If she goes cold, you just walk away and wait for her to come back... while you go after more women. Eventually she comes around or disappears, either way you are acting like a man. Which is what she wants.

I agree that you should walk away and go after other woman.

You need to stop this sh!t right now. Do not contact her anymore.. period.

I agree with this. You need to stop contacting her.

You are LOGICALLY arguing with a woman... this is a waste of time.

Logically arguing with anyone is a waste of time, not just women.

Women do not make logical decisions, they make emotional decisions, then justify their decisions with reverse logic. She doesn't feel anything for you bro...

Ironic. Your whole response and viewpoint on women is not based on logic. It is based off trying to classify women as 'others' who think and act in irrational ways. This is not a logical approach, it is an emotional one to rationalize things you do not understand. It is logical in that it is human nature, but it is illogical when we are asking whether it is based off of factual evidence or anecdotal evidence.

sorry that is the truth, if you want to have any hope of turning this around you have to become the prize, she has to pursue you. What you should do at this point is to stop trying with her... go out and date other women, join a gym, work out and get in the best shape of your life. Work on yourself and let her know other women are interested in you and she'll be back. She was attracted to you... and you lost her because there was no sexual polarity and you exhibited weak behavior. Fix that and you will find relationships with women are much easier.

I agree that you need to stop trying with her. I disagree that she will be back. I have plenty of exes that I wouldn't **** no matter how much fame and fortune they received. Life is not as simple as do XYZ and then ABC will always happen.

 

[Airstryke]

Thanks guys. Step 1 for me is to pour over the DJ Bible. I appreciate the link.

I do think @macallik is spot on about me not meeting a lot of women nowadays. I work in IT so it's usually dudes that I'm around and I guess I just don't approach them like you guys are saying. That needs to change too.

 

[dustmuffin]

The no arguments sealed your fate. I have a similar story. Mine even said that she was comfortable with me. I didn't know at the time that this was the kiss of death. Women say one thing and mean another. They lie to protect your feelings. I think the most important reason they lie is to protect your perception of them. They don't wantbto be seen as a slut, selfish or whatever. Forget her. Get your mind right. It took me 4 months and i think my head is finally on straight. Now i have to improve myself. Its hard but you can do it.

 

[Scars]

Best to go no-contact for awhile, bro.

 

[Skyline]

Should have agreed and amplified. If you were to have done so, she would have been blind sided because she wouldn't have thought that you "were on the same page" as her.

You have to wait for her to initiate contact and talk to other girls. She'll come crawling back. I just hope you don't mess up this time, did you two have sex by the way?

 

[RangerMIke]

I disagree 100% with the idea that women lose respect for you if you pursue them. They are uninterested if they don't want to be pursued by you, but convincing yourself and others not to initiate with women sounds like ego self-preservation more than sound gaming. If you are too 'confident' to approach a woman and she is too 'confident' to approach you, then you two don't meet.

You are confusing me. Are you suggesting that women respect men that chase them? And where did I say men should not initiate with women.... A man's job is to initiate... or nothing happens. There is a difference between trying to make a date and chasing women....

So you are saying that the OP should purposefully find a woman he likes to argue with? Do you write advice for Cosmo magazine in your spare time? I jest but take a step back and think about how harmful this advice can be for a long term relationship? Can you imagine if your male friends had to actively work to keep you in their lives? That sh!t would get boring quick and you just wouldn't get invited out to things anymore. You are unintentionally recommending relationship suicide.

Now where did I say you should look for a woman that argues with you all the time? What I said is if you find yourself in a relationship where there is no disagreement then you have no polarity. And yes that is a red flag. If you are seeing a women in the first 3 months and you have no disagreement then one of two things is happening:

(1) She is not testing you. If she is not testing you she really isn't interested in you.

(2) She is testing you and you are being too agreeable, which she sees as weakness and turns her off.

Ironic. Your whole response and viewpoint on women is not based on logic. It is based off trying to classify women as 'others' who think and act in irrational ways. This is not a logical approach, it is an emotional one to rationalize things you do not understand. It is logical in that it is human nature, but it is illogical when we are asking whether it is based off of factual evidence or anecdotal evidence.

Okay not sure what is ironic... where am I making a logical agruement?... In fact... I think I said arguing logically when it comes to relationships is pointless.

Where have I classified women as "others"? And where did I say women are irrational?... I said women make emotional decisions. You can be emotional and rational... a guy jumping on a grenade to save other soldiers is a spur of the moment emotional decision... which is also rational since the good of the many out weigh the needs of the one.

I agree that you need to stop trying with her. I disagree that she will be back. I have plenty of exes that I wouldn't **** no matter how much fame and fortune they received. Life is not as simple as do XYZ and then ABC will always happen.

Okay I agree with you here I did not mean to imply this is a way to get her back. But acting weak and begging certainly won't. Walk away... never look back, if she comes back then you can decide to take her back... but like you said, typically I don't unless the woman .... REALLY makes an effort.

 

[Airstryke]

Should have agreed and amplified. If you were to have done so, she would have been blind sided because she wouldn't have thought that you "were on the same page" as her.

You have to wait for her to initiate contact and talk to other girls. She'll come crawling back. I just hope you don't mess up this time, did you two have sex by the way?

Yeah, looking back on it I definitely should have just agreed to it and moved on. I haven't said anything since Thursday but neither has she.

Yeah, we've had sex many times. We couldn't keep our hands off each other.

 

[Airstryke]

My plan is to move on like I never even met the girl. The only downer is she's a coworker but luckily she's on a different floor of the building and I rarely have to go up there. The only chance of seeing her would be in the parking lot before/after work.

The more I think about it, the more I agree that I think it's my ego that has taken a hit more than it is being attached to one girl...

 

[RangerMIke]

My plan is to move on like I never even met the girl. The only downer is she's a coworker but luckily she's on a different floor of the building and I rarely have to go up there.

That's her problem not yours. Dont go out of your way to see her and dont avoid her. If you see her make strong eye contact and smirk 'knowingly".

It will drive her nuts wondering what you are saying about her. But DON'T say anything to ANY of your co-workers. Real men don't kiss and tell.

 

[Amilz]

I posted this on the NC thread but thought I'd create my own also. Been a rough few days...


I stumbled across this site a couple of days after she blindsided me with the "I'm not ready for a relationship" line. We had been together for 3 months and everything seemed great. Met through a work friend after she noticed me making the rounds at the office. I guess that's the frustrating thing about all of this...SHE was the one that initiated things. Once we started talking, I knew I was hooked.

It's crazy because we never had one fight or argument. The relationship was respectful, fun, and invigorating. I think that's why I'm so torn up about it. It would've been so much easier if there had been a concrete reason to call things off. Now it's over. Out of the blue. She told me it was due to her not fully healing from her failed marriage but she left him 2 and a half years ago. How long does it take to heal from something like that? And why would she chase me to start with if she wasn't ready?

I can't get my mind off of her. We sent a few messages back and forth during the week (she cut the cord on Tuesday) and then she went to hang out with relatives and said she'd "think things over" and reply when she got back which was yesterday. I tried to explain to her how these connections don't come up often and to not be scared of something great. As of today, it's been 3 days since she sent that last reply and I haven't said anything since. I'm beginning to think she may not reply at all. If so, I guess I'll just have to take that as my answer and move on. It's really painful when you find someone that you really feel something for and that you're genuinely excited about only to have it blow up just as fast as it began...

It sounds like you were attaching your perspective to her because you liked her so much. Her thinking things over is her maintaining control. She has no control you are done with her. That is the only way you can approach this because even if she decides to get back with you she will just do it again. They always do it again. Think of it this way. If she was so great why did she have a failed marriage? Why isn't her ex husband trying to get back with her? She's probably not as great as you imagine.

 

[skinnyguy]

Blessing in disguise. Now you know not to mess with divorced women anymore.

Go download tinder and start banging other women. You're a free man now. If she sees you having fun she'll be back on your nuts within a week.

 

[macallik]

You are confusing me. Are you suggesting that women respect men that chase them? And where did I say men should not initiate with women.... A man's job is to initiate... or nothing happens. There is a difference between trying to make a date and chasing women....

First lesson... one way or another women ALWAYS initiate, they will put themselves in your orbit if the are attracted to you. It's perfectly normal and appropriate for women to pursue you... in fact they are happier when they are doing the pursuing.. of course they don't know this about themselves... They will tell you that it's the man's job to pursue... but in reality if you do this, then they lose respect for you.. no respect = no love.

Bolded text shows where you insinuate that women should do the pursuing. This doesn't sound like a logical approach to a healthy relationship. It sounds like a way to avoid being hurt by not investing in a relationship. Then you can tell yourself that you didn't try and have an excuse when things don't work out instead of working on any internal issues you may have.

Now where did I say you should look for a woman that argues with you all the time? What I said is if you find yourself in a relationship where there is no disagreement then you have no polarity. And yes that is a red flag. If you are seeing a women in the first 3 months and you have no disagreement then one of two things is happening:

(1) She is not testing you. If she is not testing you she really isn't interested in you.

(2) She is testing you and you are being too agreeable, which she sees as weakness and turns her off.

This should have been a red flag for you. Women get bored with 'comfortable', the fact that you never argued likely meant that you always gave into her, or went along with what she wanted. Women will say they want a man that caters to her needs and wants, but the fvcking truth is that she does not want a man that she can control, you are not a challenge and therefor she never had to invest in the relationship. If she is not actively working to keep you, then she doesn't really value the relationship. If realtionships are too easy, then she doesn't value it.

Bolded text reiterates what you said. You are insinuating that polarity ensures that a relationship stays valuable. For the most part, I would say that the opposite (compatibility) determines the worthiness of a relationship. If you see the world/interact the same way as another person, what is there to argue about? My question is do you regularly encounter polarity with your family and best friends in real life so that they value having you in your life? It is illogical that in order to have a healthy relationship with a woman that you have to interact in the opposite fashion that you do with friends and family.

Okay not sure what is ironic... where am I making a logical agruement?... In fact... I think I said arguing logically when it comes to relationships is pointless.

The problem with your point-of-view is that you believe that you have to do illogical things in order to keep a woman. Believing you have to create arguments is illogical. Believing that a woman don't value non-polar relationships is illogical. Logically, when it comes to keeping a girlfriend, it is not much different than keeping any other type of friend in your life. There needs to be compatibility, empathy and understanding. The problem is many people (females AND males) ignore everything else when they have limited options or sex comes into the picture.

Where have I classified women as "others"? And where did I say women are irrational?... I said women make emotional decisions. You can be emotional and rational... a guy jumping on a grenade to save other soldiers is a spur of the moment emotional decision... which is also rational since the good of the many out weigh the needs of the one.

Your entire post subconsciously classifies women as irrational. Emotional decisions are widely accepted to be the opposite of rational decisions. We can attempt to redefine it from a utilitarian perspective in this thread, but from the Adam Smith, Invisible Hand perspective it is illogical. Seeking polarity and arguments in a relationship doesn't logically help the greater good of the masses either way.[/quote]

 

[El Payaso]

Probably an ex.

 

[dustmuffin]

My plan is to move on like I never even met the girl. The only downer is she's a coworker but luckily she's on a different floor of the building and I rarely have to go up there. The only chance of seeing her would be in the parking lot before/after work.

The more I think about it, the more I agree that I think it's my ego that has taken a hit more than it is being attached to one girl...

it was the same way for me. My ego. If you do run in to her just say hello and keep moving...Example: You: Hi ****forbrains Her: Hi how are you? You: cant talke now on my way to meeting. Say with confidence and no emotion.Don't camp out keep moving! A slight smile might be in order.

 

[RangerMIke]

Bolded text shows where you insinuate that women should do the pursuing. This doesn't sound like a logical approach to a healthy relationship. It sounds like a way to avoid being hurt by not investing in a relationship. Then you can tell yourself that you didn't try and have an excuse when things don't work out instead of working on any internal issues you may have..

I did not say women should be doing the pursuing, only that they are happier when they are chasing you. And they get turned off when the man does this. How does this look? Well they call you and put themselves in your proximity.... You are supposed to take the hint and make a date. You keep doing this and eventually she knows that when she reaches out to you make a date... she is doing the chasing, and investing and this is what she likes.

Bolded text reiterates what you said. You are insinuating that polarity ensures that a relationship stays valuable. For the most part, I would say that the opposite (compatibility) determines the worthiness of a relationship. If you see the world/interact the same way as another person, what is there to argue about? My question is do you regularly encounter polarity with your family and best friends in real life so that they value having you in your life? It is illogical that in order to have a healthy relationship with a woman that you have to interact in the opposite fashion that you do with friends and family...

Sorry brother. I'm not insinuating anything, you are inferring something that is inaccurate. What I am saying is that without polarity (balanced give/take) then one is giving more than the other, this can not be sustained. Again you keep inferring that I am saying that couples should be arguing... nothing can be further from the truth. To answer you question, yes there must be polarity in ALL relationships, except parent/child relationships. Parents are biologically and emotionally geared to giving children what they need to survive. BUT even with these relationships, if you have a kid that is used to getting anything they want from their parents, then they can never develop into giving people and their personal adult relationships will suffer.

The problem with your point-of-view is that you believe that you have to do illogical things in order to keep a woman. Believing you have to create arguments is illogical. Believing that a woman don't value non-polar relationships is illogical. Logically, when it comes to keeping a girlfriend, it is not much different than keeping any other type of friend in your life. There needs to be compatibility, empathy and understanding. The problem is many people (females AND males) ignore everything else when they have limited options or sex comes into the picture.

Now where did I say that you have to do illogical things to keep a woman? Okay let me be clear. I am NOT SAYING that you have to create arguments. What I am saying is that if a woman is not testing you, then you really isn't interested. If she is testing, and you fail to stand up for yourself then you fail the test and she will lose interest. Look let me tell you something... every time I start to see a new woman I look forward to the testing, because I know we have to get it out of the way. It ALWAYS happens.

Keeping a girl-friend is really not the same as keeping a friend, because you are not in LOVE and having sex with your friend. If you want to keep a girl you have to exhibit male strength qualities, confidence, self-control, and have a purpose driven life for her to keep you she has to be giving and flexible. Compatibility, empathy, and understanding, and I will add being good communicators is important... but you will NEVER get to the point where this is important, if you act like a needy b!tch and start chasing women that back away. I do agree that

Your entire post subconsciously classifies women as irrational. Emotional decisions are widely accepted to be the opposite of rational decisions. We can attempt to redefine it from a utilitarian perspective in this thread, but from the Adam Smith, Invisible Hand perspective it is illogical. Seeking polarity and arguments in a relationship doesn't logically help the greater good of the masses either way.

Okay... where am I saying women are irrational... please stop putting words in my mouth. I don't have a problem with people inferring anything, but have the courtesy to ASK when you are not sure about something. I am saying AGAIN that I do NOT believe women are irrational. Your definition of emotional decisions is confusing. Rational, by definition is something defined by logic or reason... reason can be achieved though emotional interpretation AS I EXPLAINED. If you wish to infer that rational means logical, then fine... but do not impose your limited definition on everyone else. Adam Smith.. Invisible Hand, not sure what you are talking about? How does any of this relate to unintentional social benefit from singular action? Really... I'd like to know?

FINALLY again, let me state AGAIN for the record that polarity does not equal argument... Communication is a two way street so I accept my part of the responsibility for not making this clear to you. But polarity is matched give/take relationship... argument is.... well fighting, completely different.

 

[macallik]

I did not say women should be doing the pursuing, only that they are happier when they are chasing you. And they get turned off when the man does this. How does this look?

This is what I mean. If you pick up a Cosmo magazine or overhear a female convo, they are telling women to play hard to get or act aloof to make a guy reach out to them. Here on SS you are telling guys the same thing... This idea that girls want X and guys want Y. In my dating experiences, the person who is most interested will initiate/pursue, but with the proper skillset, the pursuer can easily become the pursued. Relationships are about give and take, back and forth. If any person (male or female) is doing all of the pursuing, they will get burnt out and feel unappreciated. This makes someone very easy to steal or fall for another person.

Well they call you and put themselves in your proximity.... You are supposed to take the hint and make a date. You keep doing this and eventually she knows that when she reaches out to you make a date... she is doing the chasing, and investing and this is what she likes.

My point is relationships are not just about women doing the chasing and investing. It is not just about you waiting for her to call to set up a date. That mirrors the gameplan of someone who is afraid of investing in a relationship. Much like my normal non-sexual relationships, I have to eventually start to reach out to the other person to hang out and to invest time mutually in our relationship.. friendly or otherwise.

Sorry brother. I'm not insinuating anything, you are inferring something that is inaccurate. What I am saying is that without polarity (balanced give/take) then one is giving more than the other, this can not be sustained.

I think that perhaps the confusion lies in your choosing of the word 'polarity':

Polarity: the state of having two opposite or contradictory tendencies, opinions, or aspects.
synonyms: difference, dichotomy, separation, opposition, contradiction, antithesis,antagonism

Having constant 'contradiction' and 'antagonism' in a relationship is no bueno. That is arguing. You clearly didn't mean arguing after explaining yourself further, but the misunderstanding is based off of your word choice, not my inference skills.

To answer you question, yes there must be polarity in ALL relationships, except parent/child relationships. Parents are biologically and emotionally geared to giving children what they need to survive. BUT even with these relationships, if you have a kid that is used to getting anything they want from their parents, then they can never develop into giving people and their personal adult relationships will suffer.

If you actually mean balanced give and take, then yes, relationships require balanced give and take.

Now where did I say that you have to do illogical things to keep a woman? Okay let me be clear. I am NOT SAYING that you have to create arguments. What I am saying is that if a woman is not testing you, then you really isn't interested.

Your response does not suggest that this is something that only applies to the beginning stages of relationships. Am I correct in thinking then, that sh!t tests are constant if a woman is interested then? When I am 55, retired and married, that is what I have to look forward to?

My point is that women who are on the fence about whether they like you throw sh!t tests. Women who see red flags throw sh!t tests. Sh!t tests are often imo due to spikes in attraction without a build in rapport. Congruency cuts down on sh!t tests. The most interested do NOT sh!t-test because they either know/love who they think you are as a person, OR they already know you are about that life and don't need to test you.

Keeping a girl-friend is really not the same as keeping a friend, because you are not in LOVE and having sex with your friend. If you want to keep a girl you have to exhibit male strength qualities, confidence, self-control, and have a purpose driven life for her to keep you she has to be giving and flexible.
Compatibility, empathy, and understanding, and I will add being good communicators is important... but you will NEVER get to the point where this is important, if you act like a needy b!tch and start chasing women that back away. I do agree that

I disagree with the idea that there are male strength qualities or female strength qualities. If you are a needy b!tch and you are dating a needy b!tch, the sh!t my work out.

Okay... where am I saying women are irrational... please stop putting words in my mouth. I don't have a problem with people inferring anything, but have the courtesy to ASK when you are not sure about something. I am saying AGAIN that I do NOT believe women are irrational. Your definition of emotional decisions is confusing. Rational, by definition is something defined by logic or reason... reason can be achieved though emotional interpretation AS I EXPLAINED.If you wish to infer that rational means logical, then fine... but do not impose your limited definition on everyone else.

Do a search. There are 17,000,000 results so I would venture to say it is not my limited definition. Here is an example:
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-semantic-difference-between-rational-and-logical

Adam Smith.. Invisible Hand, not sure what you are talking about? How does any of this relate to unintentional social benefit from singular action? Really... I'd like to know?

Adam Smith says that we all do things for our own personal gain and these make up larger, unintended trends. For example, lets say conservationist notice a historical plot of land needs to be protected and they cordon off the area to farmers. An individual farmer might realize that if he let his cows grazed in a protected area they can get twice as big and he can make more money, but his 50 cows shouldn't do any major damage to the large plot of land. However, there are 2,000 other farmers who have the exact same thought process which actually results in ~10,000
cows grazing on the protected land. The protected area is destroyed as a result.

FINALLY again, let me state AGAIN for the record that polarity does not equal argument... Communication is a two way street so I accept my part of the responsibility for not making this clear to you. But polarity is matched give/take relationship... argument is.... well fighting, completely different.

This is you 'imposing your limited definition on everyone else', when it comes to polarity but yes, I agree with the overall idea that having a give and take in a relationship is important.