When the ex texts - FWB or?

[fri2oct15]

After 4 weeks no contact (2 year relationship) got the "just seeing how you are" msg.

Replied back a couple of times, kept responses blunt and ended convo.

I wasn't great during the relationship, maybe even too aloof if anything, only got angry/reactive at the end. Mutual breakup although I made it known that we were chucking away a good thing & made my feelings clear that I was into her, alot.

Want to see her again for sure.

Do I ignore - as she's not exactly come back asking to meet/fvck/"try again"
or
"Come over and ****" as suggested by a thread on here, then if she resists go NC again.

 

[Alpheta]

You should of just ignored until she double or triple texted. Let that hamster in her head spin so wild she'll be begging to see you.

Go nc from now on. Work on yourself ie spin plates and then if she responds just ask her if she wants to meet up if not just say see you later.

 

[fri2oct15]

You should of just ignored until she double or triple texted. Let that hamster in her head spin so wild she'll be begging to see you.

Go nc from now on. Work on yourself ie spin plates and then if she responds just ask her if she wants to meet up if not just say see you later.

Leaning towards that.


This was the article, thoughts?
http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2014/10/12/important-ignore-breakup/

 

[NSX-R]

You broke up with her for a reason. Either you broke up because you wanted to or because she wanted.

Going back to her proves that you're an afc .

 

[Genos]

Yes, agreed with @NSX-R. You should move on.

I like how you handled it though, responding to her politely, while keeping your replies curt. IMO, especially after a good amount of time has passed, not responding at all if she reaches out just gives the impression that you haven't moved on (because if you had, then talking to her a bit wouldn't be a big deal). I wouldn't initiate with her of course, but if she asks how you are, then yes just send a quick message back and be done with it.

 

[Sprayarc]

After 4 weeks no contact (2 year relationship) got the "just seeing how you are" msg.

Replied back a couple of times, kept responses blunt and ended convo.

I wasn't great during the relationship, maybe even too aloof if anything, only got angry/reactive at the end. Mutual breakup although I made it known that we were chucking away a good thing & made my feelings clear that I was into her, alot.

Want to see her again for sure.

Do I ignore - as she's not exactly come back asking to meet/fvck/"try again"
or
"Come over and ****" as suggested by a thread on here, then if she resists go NC again.

Just seeing how you are= just want to see if you care about me still because if you do I can still run game on you because it makes me feel secure and validated. If you ignore me it shows me you're not afc and that makes me like you more.

 

[grayclif]

Yes, agreed with @NSX-R. You should move on.

I like how you handled it though, responding to her politely, while keeping your replies curt. IMO, especially after a good amount of time has passed, not responding at all if she reaches out just gives the impression that you haven't moved on (because if you had, then talking to her a bit wouldn't be a big deal). I wouldn't initiate with her of course, but if she asks how you are, then yes just send a quick message back and be done with it.

Or it could mean that you blocked her a$$ and that you wish to have nothing to do with her ever.

 

[logicallefty]

Just seeing how you are= just want to see if you care about me still because if you do I can still run game on you because it makes me feel secure and validated.

^^This

And she is probably low on orbiters and wants to see if she can +1 you to the list.

NC is good or responding and keeping it very brief.. A couple short texts and be done. I definitely wouldn't engage in any long conversations and/or disclose any details about yourself at all. Make her wonder...

 

[fri2oct15]

Thanks for replies above, looks like i've done the "right" thing.

It's that nagging feeling that maybe she was reaching out.......but if she really wanted it, she'd be more direct/try harder anyway.

Will do my best to put this one to the back of my mind for the time being.

What did you guys make of that article btw?

 

[grayclif]

What did you guys make of that article btw?

Pretty standard stuff

 

[Genos]

It's that nagging feeling that maybe she was reaching out.......but if she really wanted it, she'd be more direct/try harder anyway.

Yes, we've all had this feeling man. It's sometimes a very difficult regret/possibility to manage...but you hit the nail on the head, if she really wanted to get back together, she'd make sure you had no doubt about her intentions.

Take some time off, relax, whatever. Focus on self-improvement, etc. Keep spiraling upwards bud.

 

[Sprayarc]

Thanks for replies above, looks like i've done the "right" thing.

It's that nagging feeling that maybe she was reaching out.......but if she really wanted it, she'd be more direct/try harder anyway.

Will do my best to put this one to the back of my mind for the time being.

What did you guys make of that article btw?

Not to encourage you that she does want you back but women fear rejection more than men because they don't experience it as much.

It's possible that she's afraid to be to direct.

But just assume she's trying to mess with your head to gratify her own ego.

 

[fri2oct15]

Not to encourage you that she does want you back but women fear rejection more than men because they don't experience it as much.

It's possible that she's afraid to be to direct.

But just assume she's trying to mess with your head to gratify her own ego.

Yeah this is the only aspect of it which makes me "hold on to hope".

Would love to send a "come over and fck" text right now to be honest.

I won't though, as if she rejects it then BOOM, that'd be all attraction gone, right?

 

[Sprayarc]

Yeah this is the only aspect of it which makes me "hold on to hope".

Would love to send a "come over and fck" text right now to be honest.

I won't though, as if she rejects it then BOOM, that'd be all attraction gone, right?

Oh, smash that hope. Just move on dude.

 

[fri2oct15]

Looks like we have a consensus ha. frustrating as fvck, typing that text stayed on my mind all night. will forget about it soon hopefully.