Hello Friend,
If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.
It will be the most efficient use of your time.
And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.
Thank you for visiting and have a great day!
Take a look at "Dating Rules for Women"
- Thread starter DJ_Dork
- Start date
It's moderately infuriating (if that makes sense), or would be if it weren't so old hat by now. Unfortunately, it reflects to some extent the economic balance in the male-female courtship ritual: women do hold more cards, overall, than men.
Hence: look at the female "rules" -- other than reminding her to look good and be honest about her weight online (and I guess the part about not busting out the desire for a baby right away), all the "rules" are about ways for her to demand more from, or get the upper hand on, guys. ("Don''t put up with a guy who won't buy flowers."). They're hardly admonitions to make her shape up her act, or render herself more desirable to men, or meet men halfway.
Then look at the rules for men. Almost all of them, by contrast, are urging him in some way to change his behavior. Get new clothes. Bathe and use cologne because you probably stink. Don't talk about yourself. Don't expect sex. You have to refrain from talking about sports a lot even if you like it. You have to learn to dance, no matter what, even if you don't like it.
The lack of reciprocity is obvious -- nowhere does he (and sadly, it's a man who wrote both) admonish women "Men are interested in sports, so it's your job to learn about football and get interested in his games" or "Men don't like to dance, so for God's sake don't be so rude as to pressure him into it, or go off dancing with someone else and leaving him high and dry." And while some probably-accurate male-specific "bad" behavior is singled out ("Don't drink a lot,") nowhere do the female "rules" contain such obvious admonitions as "don't stand him up" (actually, they're told they ought to be late for dates) or "don't flirt and c__k tease him just to get some ego-boosting attention.").
And it's not as if the one-sidedness of the rules is rectifying some longstanding imbalance in the dating equation that had unfairly privileged men. Men in general have never held the upper hand in this area. Telling women how to milk to the maximum their existing advantages (and insisting that men not only play along, but meet the women well over halfway) is hardly progress.
Hence: look at the female "rules" -- other than reminding her to look good and be honest about her weight online (and I guess the part about not busting out the desire for a baby right away), all the "rules" are about ways for her to demand more from, or get the upper hand on, guys. ("Don''t put up with a guy who won't buy flowers."). They're hardly admonitions to make her shape up her act, or render herself more desirable to men, or meet men halfway.
Then look at the rules for men. Almost all of them, by contrast, are urging him in some way to change his behavior. Get new clothes. Bathe and use cologne because you probably stink. Don't talk about yourself. Don't expect sex. You have to refrain from talking about sports a lot even if you like it. You have to learn to dance, no matter what, even if you don't like it.
The lack of reciprocity is obvious -- nowhere does he (and sadly, it's a man who wrote both) admonish women "Men are interested in sports, so it's your job to learn about football and get interested in his games" or "Men don't like to dance, so for God's sake don't be so rude as to pressure him into it, or go off dancing with someone else and leaving him high and dry." And while some probably-accurate male-specific "bad" behavior is singled out ("Don't drink a lot,") nowhere do the female "rules" contain such obvious admonitions as "don't stand him up" (actually, they're told they ought to be late for dates) or "don't flirt and c__k tease him just to get some ego-boosting attention.").
And it's not as if the one-sidedness of the rules is rectifying some longstanding imbalance in the dating equation that had unfairly privileged men. Men in general have never held the upper hand in this area. Telling women how to milk to the maximum their existing advantages (and insisting that men not only play along, but meet the women well over halfway) is hardly progress.
You know, this is really just a subset of the larger "rule" that when there are differences between the male and female approach to something, the "compromise" or proper "rule" is, invariably, for the men to do it the way women would -- thus, the whole world, not just including but especially men, simply accepts this as a given (sort of like my buddy, who loves red wine and hates white, while his girlfriend loves white -- three guesses what they drink every night they go out).
Here's some recurrent news stories you'll see:
"Studies show that men don't go to the doctor nearly as often as women. Experts warn that men stay away from the doctor only because of masculine stereotypes against admitting weakness, and that more work needs to be done to get men to shed their macho posturing and to become more willing to listen to the possible warning signs of illness."
You won't ever see the same story reported this way:
"Studies show that men don't go to the doctor nearly as often as women. Experts warn that women are going to the doctor with trivial ailments and hysterical attention-seeking behavior, and that more work needs to be done to get women to stop imposing such enormous, and pointless, burdens on our healthcare system.
Or:
"Management experts say that women and men communicate differently in the workplace. Women tend to adopt a much more personal view of workplace relations and communicate in an emotional, rather than strictly factual, fashion. Experts warn that for men to keep up with women in the workplace, they need to adapt from their cold, impersonal, factual approach to management and become more concerned with their co-worker's feelings and inner motivations."
But not:
"Management experts say that women and men communicate differently in the workplace. Women tend to adopt a much more personal view of workplace relations and communicate in an emotional, rather than strictly factual, fashion. Experts warn that billions of dollars of productivity are being lost to women's catfights caused by dragging personal issues and concerns into the workplace, gossiping on the phone, and by their inability to communicate simple concepts and instructions without half an hour of chitchat and meandering around the issues."
Here's some recurrent news stories you'll see:
"Studies show that men don't go to the doctor nearly as often as women. Experts warn that men stay away from the doctor only because of masculine stereotypes against admitting weakness, and that more work needs to be done to get men to shed their macho posturing and to become more willing to listen to the possible warning signs of illness."
You won't ever see the same story reported this way:
"Studies show that men don't go to the doctor nearly as often as women. Experts warn that women are going to the doctor with trivial ailments and hysterical attention-seeking behavior, and that more work needs to be done to get women to stop imposing such enormous, and pointless, burdens on our healthcare system.
Or:
"Management experts say that women and men communicate differently in the workplace. Women tend to adopt a much more personal view of workplace relations and communicate in an emotional, rather than strictly factual, fashion. Experts warn that for men to keep up with women in the workplace, they need to adapt from their cold, impersonal, factual approach to management and become more concerned with their co-worker's feelings and inner motivations."
But not:
"Management experts say that women and men communicate differently in the workplace. Women tend to adopt a much more personal view of workplace relations and communicate in an emotional, rather than strictly factual, fashion. Experts warn that billions of dollars of productivity are being lost to women's catfights caused by dragging personal issues and concerns into the workplace, gossiping on the phone, and by their inability to communicate simple concepts and instructions without half an hour of chitchat and meandering around the issues."
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
After reading her bullet points I was asking myself why she didn't expound on her reasoning. It just seemed like a bunch of stupid rules. It made me wonder if ideas like that is what make most women seem as if they are confused and do things for no particular reason.
Just a thought...
Just a thought...
Jvesti
Master Don Juan
Hahaha this is so true. I've been unfortunate enough to work in a department where i was the ONLY male. Females basically, create the drama in the workplace for their own emotional catharsis.
I basically got fed up. The manager was a female as well and basically did the gossipy emotionally attached BS as those who worked there. Everything was about yada yada that person is bad, this person did that blah blah blah.
I was actually called lazy and incompetant by a group of 4 of them straight to my face. Funny thing is that about a month later I was voted employee of the yearly quarter. Basically I got this distinction out of a place that has 3000 employees. Just goes to show how women are.
Anyways towards the end of my tenure. They put a male in charge of the whole department and the managers. Suddenly things started to clear up like never before.
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
That was the most erroneous and misguided dating tips/article that I have ever read. The author ought to be shot, for misleading impressionable minds!!!!!
Word dude, SAME crap here. I work in an office environment filled with women. 50% of productivity is wasted on backstabbing, backtalking, gossipping, etc. If there's a clear case why women are inferior to men in the business world, take yours and my example.
Jvesti
Master Don Juan
Case and point: Women have that emotional rollercoaster urge they need. They need to be in some kind of drama or conflict.
I'd go as far to say that office jobs aren't places for women. Management is definitely not a place for women.
They might do a whole lot better in more entertaining or emotional rollercoaster jobs such as sales, psychiatry, social worker and so on.
Attractive women make great sales people. IF they can handle it without cracking. Just take a look at the apprentice on NBC and how the women use their sexuality to win the challenges.
Correct me if I'm wrong here, but a job such as sales of high end products where it can be emotional rollercoaster up and down might fulfill that need within women? and shut them up.
If i am not far off, i think if women want to work they should be pushed into these type of jobs.
Sexy_Malibu
Master Don Juan
Alas... another thing to ruin my gender. 
Some of them DO make sense though and I think most of you will agree with me.
are we dating or going on a pilgrimage?
I'm not gonna touch the online dating part (I don't do that) or the workplace stuff because I don't wanna get into a debate here, ha ha.
Some of them DO make sense though and I think most of you will agree with me.
This one makes sense. For everyone, not just women. You always want to look your best. (key word being YOUR best... you don't have to have expensive stuff, but you should look like you at least make an effort to take care of yourself).
This is just the basic "don't ask don't tell" policy. I don't necessarily think it "drives men wild" but there is such a thing as too much unnecessary info.
Is that in the bible?
Makes sense. Take care of yourself. This isn't even for dating... it's for general well-being.
Now this is the part that's wacked. Yes you can LET your man pay... if a guy offers to pay for me, I'm not going to say no. It's disrespectful even at times to refuse something like that, which is a gesture he's making. But being interested enough to ensure that I eat well? What the ****!? I make it a point to contribute money (or at least offer to) once in a while and to also pick places to go that are inexpensive. I don't want to date someone for their wallet. It's teaching **** like this to women, that makes so many girls so ****ed up... which gives us all a bad name.
Ok, flowers CAN be nice once in a while, or for special occasions, but this has to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen. I'm not into the cliche quasi-romantic gesture of flowers. It's really a no-brainer gesture... I want a guy to do something for me that shows he put in thought or that he knows me (read: he listens)... not waste money on some overpriced roses that are going to wilt in a few days anyway.
Yeah, this one makes sense. But really... I think people should just go with their instincts and their feelings... Do what you feel is right for the situation... I can't imagine being like "hmmm I'd LIKE to **** him now, but the rules say I have to wait a little longer" ... just like I'd never think "well I'm not ready, but I better have sex with him soon because he DID buy me that expensive dinner"
No. It's a lady's inconsideration. I hate lateness.
These sound like DJ games... no offense meant by that statement... ha ha. I understand the "playing hard to get" thing, but c'mon... you play too hard to get and you won't be gotten at all.
HUH?
This is the guys-come-and-go-but-friends-are-forever thing. Yes, that's true. But that doesn't mean you have to see your friends every weekend... who can afford to shop every weekend anyway? ha ha... not me.
are we dating or going on a pilgrimage?On a mirror? I say practice on another guy.
word.
Ah. The good old "don't judge a book by its cover"... never assume anything about anything. Period.
Um... no comment.
hygiene: yes. shoes: no.
Eeek. I'm not even gonna touch this one. Do girls DO that?
More than not COMING ACROSS as too desperate... how about not BEING desperate.
"create the need in him for you" LOL... but yes it's true... you want something, go and get it.
ha ha ha!!
True. That will scare most guys off... but it is kind of ****ty to drop that on someone afterwards too.
LMFAO!!
I'm not gonna touch the online dating part (I don't do that) or the workplace stuff because I don't wanna get into a debate here, ha ha.