Setting Boundaries is an Agreement.

[Soolaimon]

House sharing in London is common.

Don't make excuses for your extreme beta behavior.

There must be a lot of beta men with no balls in London who let their women shack up with other men. And you want to argue boundaries. LOL.

The only thing idiotic was the question you asked men in this forum.

GIGANTIC strawman!

Being against marriage but for boundaries disproves your whole strawman, it proves that we do NOT believe boundaries are some panacea.

Nice try but you're fooling yourself again.

No straw man at all. It's your insecurity that shows you have no faith in your boundaries, yourself, and your woman.

Danger is basically married but he is too scared to make it official.

First off Solly, nobody said anywhere that boundaries were the answer to everything.

This is why men like Atom, zekko, Social Leper, myself and others do not experience the problem of those other men who fear boundaries.

Women have been running roughshod over men for 5 decades now because men have abdicated setting boundaries.

All one needs to do is read the thousands of stories on this and other similar forums about men who lost everything because they did not set boundaries. Setting boundaries is your job as a man and is crucial to a successful relationship.

Lying again. You and Atom made that point very clear above.

According to you two boundaries are the only way to have successful relationships with no problems.

Are you going to argue that now?

I consider myself an MGTOW. I have a gf who lives with me, we bought a house together. She wants to get married and I say no.

Secondly on the whole marriage point, you are suggesting that it is a great idea to get married as long as your woman doesn't see other men. She won't break the rules right? So why wouldn't you get married? Right? It would be stupid to not get married in your opinion!!!

This is scarcity mindset thinking and your argument betrays you. Real men of options avoid marriage because it is a barrier to exit for him. He receives no value from marriage whatsoever, only costs.

It looks you have the barrier to exit since you bought a home with her and she is living with you. And if you break up with her you will have some costs for sure. LOL

Basically you are married to her but you are too terrified to make it official.

You are a huge hypocrite and contridictor every time you type. You have no clue what you are even talking about. Do you?




You refuse to answer my questions, lie, contradict, and project once again as usual.

You are being a hypocrite contradicting your boundaries.

You are making fun of Exception and men who didn't set any boundaries saying they have fear and you tout your boundaries as being strong. But you are the one with the real fear.

If your boundaries are so great, your woman is so great, you have so much value, then there will be no cost to you with your boundaries in marriage.

You're the one who has fear cause you are scared to death of marriage.

You know that your woman isn't that great, your boundaries are out of insecurity, and you don't have much value. That's why you are afraid to put a ring on her finger.

You have the scarcity mindset thinking and your argument has betrayed you.

You never had any value or real options anyway. That's why you bought a house with her and she is living with you. You gave up your freedom for her.

You already removed your options and value by buying a house living with her.

You are just too scared to make it official with marriage.

You are damn stupid if you don't think there will be any cost to you if you ever break up with her.

She bought a house with you. You will have to pay her what she invested into the home cause I'm sure she won't walk away and lose money on a big investment she made.

You stand to lose out a lot and you're too stupid to figure that one out.

And you want to make fun of men who set no boundaries who aren't foolish enough to buy a home with a woman giving away their options like you did. LOL

Hopeefully your boundaries will work for your sake.

With that Danger, what terrifies you about marriage so much?

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

She cheated......when he lifted the boundaries. Case closed.

He even stated that she asked how come he no longer put her in her place. The data continues to add up.

• Exception proved the point in his sexless relationship where she hangs with other men.
• Exception further proved the point when he gave terrible advice that the man should be ok with his gf having drinks with another man (she ended up fvking him)
• Now we have yet another example from In2theGame....it was fine until his values changed....and hers followed suit.

Argue all you want Peaks, the data is overwhelmingly in support of men who demonstrate enough strength to say "my world, my terms".

Values. Now, you're saying the woman's values changed because he removed boundaries? Wouldn't it be more likely that her 'values' were the same all along, she just didn't get to exercise her values, because he was keeping her from doing so?

Whatever.

Let's talk about values.

Because now you're saying it's about her values. So, what happens if she values lying and manipulating and telling you whatever you want to hear.

"No, peaks, women never lie."

Okay, lets pretend that sometimes some women lie (that's a stretch, I know), sometimes they tell you what you want to hear, tell you something at the moment just so they can get their way. Then what happens then when you go to set boundaries?

So, you verbally set boundaries, and.......she agrees. Yay, her value system is like yours!!! Right?? Well, what happens if, wait for it, she was lying? What happens if she was playing your a$$.

Food for thought?

Some of you guys should check out the DJ Bible, Pook has good piece on "Actions vs. Words".

 

[Soolaimon]

Values. Now, you're saying the woman's values changed because he removed boundaries? Wouldn't it be more likely that her 'values' were the same all along, she just didn't get to exercise her values, because he was keeping her from doing so?

Whatever.

Let's talk about values.

Because now you're saying it's about her values. So, what happens if she values lying and manipulating and telling you whatever you want to hear.

"No, peaks, women never lie."

Okay, lets pretend that sometimes some women lie (that's a stretch, I know), sometimes they tell you what you want to hear, tell you something at the moment just so they can get their way. Then what happens then when you go to set boundaries?

So, you verbally set boundaries, and.......she agrees. Yay, her value system is like yours!!! Right?? Well, what happens if, wait for it, she was lying? What happens if she was playing your a$$.

Food for thought?

Some of you guys should check out the DJ Bible, Pook has good piece on "Actions vs. Words".

Excellent points as usual Peaks.

These boundary guys don't even understand their own boundary system. They have no idea what they are talking about or know how to handle women. We know their boundary system better than they do.

The boundary guy are only going on her words and not her actions.

Of course women lie and are manipulating.

Some even had insecure men put boundaries on them before. So they know how the game works. Women can tell the boundary guys what they want to hear and these guys eat it up and will think she has the "same values as them".

That's how men get suckered into relationships with BPD women.

Then they wonder why their relationships fail with their boundaries they cling to for assurance.



Example

Boundary guys: You can't hang out with any other men in our exclusive relationship.

Woman: Ok I completely agree to that.



Boundary guys thinking: She agreed to my boundary terms and has the same values as me.

Woman thinking: I still can hang out with my guy friends without him even knowing.


So much for your boundary and value system.

The concept is three fold

• Filter out girls with different values
• Communicate the expectations you have if she wants you to be exclusive with her
• Reduce the probabability of committing to a girl who cheats

Not true at all and only in your delusional mind.

I just pointed out in the example above how there was no filter and how women can get around your boundaries you communicate.

When you tell a woman she can't do something she will find a way to do it anyway even if she agrees to what you expect of her.

She cheated......when he lifted the boundaries. Case closed.

men who demonstrate enough strength to say "my world, my terms".

If she respected the same boundaries from the start and has the same value system as you she shouldn't have cheated.

That should be the whole point of having your boundaries.

That make your boundaries full of $hit and you argue for them.

Basically you live life in a constant world of fear controlling her through your boundaries every day.

What a hell of a way to live just to grab some phony power trip that ends with the slightest let up of your boundaries.

That shows you never had any real value in the first place just a phony boundary for assurance using it as a security blanket.

 

[TheException]

I again point to Exception...

I'm beginning to worry. Your obsession with mentioning me in literally 90% of your posts has me convinced you are a gay man and want me for my body.... (I know I know name calling, I'm mean, strawman, ad hominem etc etc )

 

[VikingKing]

Excellent points as usual Peaks.

These boundary guys don't even understand their own boundary system. They have no idea what they are talking about or know how to handle women. We know their boundary system better than they do.

The boundary guy are only going on her words and not her actions.

Of course women lie and are manipulating.

Some even had insecure men put boundaries on them before. So they know how the game works. Women can tell the boundary guys what they want to hear and these guys eat it up and will think she has the "same values as them".

That's how men get suckered into relationships with BPD women.

Then they wonder why their relationships fail with their boundaries they cling to for assurance.



Example

Boundary guys: You can't hang out with any other men in our exclusive relationship.

Woman: Ok I completely agree to that.



Boundary guys thinking: She agreed to my boundary terms and has the same values as me.

Woman thinking: I still can hang out with my guy friends without him even knowing.


So much for your boundary and value system.








Not true at all and only in your delusional mind.

I just pointed out in the example above how there was no filter and how women can get around your boundaries you communicate.

When you tell a woman she can't do something she will find a way to do it anyway even if she agrees to what you expect of her.






If she respected the same boundaries from the start and has the same value system as you she shouldn't have cheated.

That should be the whole point of having your boundaries.

That make your boundaries full of $hit and you argue for them.

Basically you live life in a constant world of fear controlling her through your boundaries every day.

What a hell of a way to live just to grab some phony power trip that ends with the slightest let up of your boundaries.

That shows you never had any real value in the first place just a phony boundary for assurance using it as a security blanket.

you are femininized. Fvcking homo.

 

[Soolaimon]

you are femininized. Fvcking homo.

Coming from an angry loser who can't even get laid LOL.

You don't need to set an useless verbal boundary to have a strong frame, have power, and have value.

That is not being feminized when it's you who is insecure with yourself.

I have never said "NO" to my girl if she wanted to go on a "date" with another man.

Really...so, if you came home and she was getting all dressed up for a night on the town with another man you wouldn't object to her going since you explained boundaries to her years ago?

She just chooses not to do it, especially since she has been informed it isn't part of the definition of exclusivity.

Respectful women who already understand what exclusivity means don't need to be informed of the definition since they choose not to do it as well.

But you boundary guys all call men names for not setting a boundary when it's interest and attraction is what matters.

When she loses interest in you she will go out with another man. Just like a guy who set no boundaries.

This is what you guys fail to understand in your black and white world of boundaries.

But I DID say what my definition of exclusivity was in the beginning. It was only said once. That is it.

So there is no "not letting her" go anywhere. Once she knows the rules, she can decide as she wishes. But I am up front on them when she asks for exclusivity.

So you would let her hang out with other men if she really wants to like you made fun of Exception's girlfriend for doing.

"The rules" you defined are useless when she chooses to do what she really wants (hang out with another man) even though you stated them prior.

There is no point in stating boundary rules when she can choose to do as she pleases after she agreed to the rules previously but breaks them later.

And here you argued with me in 10 threads lying and contradicting yourself with your thin argument on boundaries when I was right the whole time.

She did have the same value system.

No she didn't have the same value system.

If she did have the same value system she wouldn't have cheated.

People's moral value system doesn't change.

She was being controlled through a boundary unable to do what she really wanted.

If she was a decent respectful woman she wouldn't have cheated under any circumstances.

"Danger: His value system changed, and so did hers. Do you live in a non-changing world?"

A person who doesn't do drugs isn't just going to start snorting cocaine.

A woman who doesn't cheat isn't going to start cheating with a new value system.

You are trying to make more crap excuses for your $hit boundary argument that's going up in flames once again.

You have literally fabricated a scenario in order to attempt to discredit my "alpha cred" as if this constitutes winning the argument.

LOL what an idiot you are.

You seem really concerned over what a bunch of strangers think of you on the net. Doesn't sound that "alpha" to me. Who cares what people think of you. Caring too much of what others think makes you an insecure beta.

I wasn't even arguing with you. You are arguing with me rambling on about nothing. I was ignoring you cause I don't take you seriously.

I just posted your thread title to show that boundaries don't work and that you're a beta who was asking if your girlfriend can live with other men.

That isn't fabrication man. You are on the record for writing that thread. That is a fact. But you are lying trying to project on me. Own up to the fact that you are a beta letting your woman live with other men. You wrote that thread. Don't deny it. Admit it.

I like how you put alpha cred in quotes cause you are no alpha.

If anybody discredited your online "alpha cred" it is yourself for writing a beta thread asking if it's ok for your woman to shack up with other men.

If you think that is alpha you are suffereing from severe delusion.

No alpha would be that beta to even consider that....and you did LOL.

You're no alpha. You are a keyboard jockey.

If you are going to use boundaries as your means to control your woman at least enforce them when you have the opportunity so you aren't a weak beta hiding behind just a bunch of fake words and a phony persona.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

You keep saying this but where are you getting your sample from? It certainly isn't on this forum because as we mentioned several times now zekko, Danger and myself are all maintaining good relationships with boundaries in place (zekko for 11 years now) and I certainly don't hear Atom complaining that his boundaries aren't working. And do better than simply posting the title of my break up thread, which was for completely unrelated reasons.

Whereas Exception is currently stuggling with his gf's loyalty and it also appears she is now denying him sex without any fear of ramifications. And I don't think you've ever mentioned a women in one of your posts.


Another convincing argument from the anti-boundary crew. Keep them coming.

I'm all for people posting their relationship experiences on here, good or bad. It's used as a leargning tool for all. However, some posters, even after certain things get pointed out to them still seem to live with their head's in the sand.

I'm sorry to tell you this, but, from you previously posted, you did not maintain a 'good' relationship with your ex. Your foundation was weak, as is a typical AFC's. Then when there was a crack in that weak foundation, everything came tumbling down. Your boundaries were tested, as they will be, and you lost control.

I, for one, thought you had recognized this....

As for Danger, it's very hard for me to believe anything that guy says.

As a side note: If you set boundaries, and the woman later breaks up with you (even for "other" reasons), while you still want to stay with her, then that does not fall all under the 'good relationship' category.

 

[Rainman4707]

For the boundary guys - Do you have a boundary where you would'nt want a girlfriend going out dancing & drinking without you???

 

[Soolaimon]

More fabrication. Show me the direct quote where "my boundaries were tested and I caved". You and Soolai are literally making stories up.

I told her that she should leave the house, even saying I’d be willing to pay for a hostel for a night or two till a friend could take her in or she found a new place. I just wanted her out so I could get on with life. I went for a walk, calmed down and then told her she could stay.

Sounds like you caved in really badly on that one not enforcing your boundaries.

Why are you lying like Danger?

Where is the fabrication at Leper?

05-11-2014, 06:27 AM

Should I allow my girlfriend to live with guys?

Tell me how is this a fabrication when you wrote this thread looking for advice on this matter?

All I did was quote your thread title. How is that a fabrication? Same girl you broke up with that you didn't enforce your boundaries with as an AFC.

11-01-2014, 02:41 AM

End of the relationship - Definite Breakup

Here is this thread that shows your relationship to be a bust with your boundaries that you didn't enforce. How is this a fabrication Leper?

You were an AFC in this relationship being a big beta with this girl. And you call yourself "Alpha"?

Boundaries are useless and don't work. You found that out first hand. Why do you still argue for them?

End of the relationship - Definite Breakup

I just ended things with my gf last night. She exposed herself as being a completely callous human being. This is the first time in my life that I have personally witnessed the full extent of backward rationalisation and the intellectual gymnastics required to justify her position and make her out to be the victim.

A few weeks ago we were having an argument (I had a legitimate grievance) and she refused to listen and tried to leave the room so I grabbed her arm. She shouted and I let go. My housemate let her sleep in his room and I slept on the couch. The next day as it was clear that the relationship was “over” I told her that she should leave the house, even saying I’d be willing to pay for a hostel for a night or two till a friend could take her in or she found a new place. I just wanted her out so I could get on with life. I went for a walk, calmed down and then told her she could stay.

At that point she had already told her family what had happened, who were of course livid. We talked things through and I apologised for grabbing her, something I acknowledged should never have happened. I decided to take ownership over my anger and get into a programme. Fine. She wanted to continue the relationship but went back to Germany for a week to clear her head and spend time with family.

Fast forward to last night. Bills need to be paid for the month. I pay off what’s due. At this point she has already decided she is moving out and has incurred some costs (deposit for a new place, pickup van, etc). I should add that she only started working at the beginning of September and doesn’t get paid till the end of the month. The three of us (my housemate, gf and myself) agreed to split bills three ways and that me and my gf would pay an equal portion of the rent (a bit less than two thirds together)

Now by the end of October she owes me about £1000. I ask her if she’s able to pay me back £200, which we agreed she would pay each month in addition to rent and bills to reduce the amount she owes me.

She replies that I don’t have the right to ask her for that money because she only agreed to it on the basis of us living together and I ruined that possibility with my actions. She then goes on to say that she could quite easily have gone to the police and then I would have had to pay her, which she adds her family had told her to do. So not only is she not agreeing to pay me back for the two months where I’ve been paying for her life, but she has the audacity to surreptitiously threaten me. Needless to say I was shocked and angry.

I told her she was absolutely wrong and tried reasoning with her (fail!). I then spoke with my housemate over the phone, who also agreed with me (and this is a guy who will tell me when my gf is in the right and I’m not). He spoke with her over the phone but she wouldn’t budge.

I told her there was no way I was continuing the relationship on such a basis and ended things. She spent the next few hours in what I can only describe as being on the set of Shakespearean tragedy. I went into my room, put on my earphones and started watching the Avengers on my laptop. She would intermittently come into my room tears flowing, telling me how much it hurt. I would take off my earphones ask her if she saw my point and would admit that she was in the wrong. Still crying she would shake her head as the flem flowed down from her nose before running out the room. This happened about 8 times. At one point I walked out my room into the kitchen to find her on the floor crying. Why on the floor when there was a perfectly good couch? I don’t know. Halfway through the film my resolve weakens and I think, “Maybe she has seen the light?” so I go into my housemate's bedroom, where she is sleeping sit down and try and explain things again, to no avail.

I wake up early this morning, get ready for revision at the office and before I leave check up on her again. I tell her that this is the last time I’m going to try and make her see how wrong she is as she is moving out in a few hours and there is no reason for me to see her again otherwise. She repeats the same argument. These were costs she was only willing to shoulder if we were “building a life together”. I “forced her” to move out and therefore I should “deal with the consequences” since everything that happened after is “my fault”. Zero guilt. Backward rationalisation to the max.

In retrospect trying to use logic was a foolish thing to do, since the reality is she has to come to that conclusion on her own and a change of opinion will never happen because her friends and all her family support her in this decision. I know that she will not budge. That’s why I know this is not salvageable. I told her that it was sad, but I could now see her true character.

What makes this whole situation a tough pill to swallow is that she ticks all the boxes on the sosuave list of “good gf material” and yet she still screwed me over like this. It just makes me think that you can’t truly rely on any women.

I’ve learnt a valuable lesson. The reality is women are women. They are selfish creatures. They lack the capacity to truly appreciate. They will never love you the way you expect to be loved. I accept that.

My only question now is how do I approach NC? I acknowledge that the chance of her relenting is incredibly low but if she were to change her mind in a reasonable time frame I would probably take her back. The problem is that if I cling on to this "hope of her seeing the light" I can never really go NC because although i can quite easily live my life without speaking to her, if she were to phone me, in the back of my mind I would be "hoping it was to admit she was wrong".

Edit: On the NC, decided to just let things go, since pining for her to see her stupidity would only prolong the situation and what a waste of emotional energy that would be!

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

More fabrication. Show me the direct quote where "my boundaries were tested and I caved". You and Soolai are literally making stories up. And FWIW I have a great relationship with my gf precisely because I have maintained the frame. The opinion of a stranger on the internet is going to change that.

Those two posts you made, and your subsequent comments, are directly out of an AFC's playbook. You can blame it on 'anger issues', but I know a few people with anger issues that when they deal with women, those issues go right out the window. You know why? Because they know WTF they're doing with women. I also know people that don't have anger issues, except when they're dealing with women, because they don't know what the fvck they are doing. So your 'anger issues' are a cop out. You went full AFC. Your frame was weak all along. And once she tested it, it shattered.

Show me the direct quote where "my boundaries were tested and I caved".

Why'd you get so angry when she stayed out late? I'm guessing she wasn't delivering dinners to the homeless. Either way, I was referring to your general boundaries of how she can treat you. And, after your little incident, she gave you about a thousand $hit tests, all of which you failed.

I broke up with her, as is quite clear if you bothered to read the post you claim to be forming your opinion from. so again you are simply fabricating things to fit an agenda.

If that's what you want to tell yourself to make you feel better. She moved out on you, bro. She could have stayed if she wanted. SHE moved out. You can rationalize it however you want of why she moved out. But I'll tell you this, it's because she didn't want to be with you anymore. You told her you couldn't have a relationship if she moved out, as a weak attempt to convince her to stay, but she refused. Then, you invited her back numerous times, and she refused. She could have salvaged the relationship if she wanted, but she didn't.

She ended it, not you.

"boundaries are not fool-proof". They aren't.

Think we're making progress. Only 100 more threads to go.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Peaks,

Nobody ever said boundaries were fool-proof. You seem to have just made that thought up in your mind.

The progress has already been made, the anti-boundary crew just refuses to see it. Here is the succinct list again.

• Danger, zekko, Atom Smasher, Social Leper - All have gf's who aren't dating other men and who have had boundaries placed.
• Exception - No boundaries, his gf dates other men and he is getting no sex (These are common warning signs men)
• In2TheGame - Had boundaries places with no problem. Only after letting them subside does gf end up cheating on him.
• Exceptions bad advice - Told the guy to ignore (and act cool and aloof) that his girl was out drinking with another man. Turns out the other man was fvking her all along.

I saw this the first time.

Nice twist on In2thegames cheating experience. I made a few posts about it on the other thread.

These 'statistics' are meaningless to me, for a number of reasons. Besides, by your own words, guys don't know when they're being cheated on right? So, then how would you know? Do you mate guard her 24 hours a day? Or is it because the only time women cheat is under your nose with guy friends/beta orbiters when you know they're hanging out with them.

You're trying way too hard.

 

[Soolaimon]

Your ship is sunk Solly. All you have left is to repeat questions which have already been addressed and to call names.

Your ship has sunk Danger cause you revealed yourself to be a huge hypocrite again.

Here you talk about men having a "cost" when it is you who will have the cost yourself.

The non boundary guys will have nothing to pay in their break up.

You will have to pay a woman off and maybe will have to hire a lawyer in that mess.

Who's the fool?

Solly,

The house is not a barrier to exit. We each pay half and we each own half. If either of us wanted out we pay the other person their half.

No barrier you say? She could fight you in court to get more out of you. She could also fight to you in court to take the home. What the hell are you talking about?

You will have to haggle over who moves out and will have to go through that whole process.

That is a huge barrier man.

Quit trying to save face here with more lies.

Compare that with divorce where you get @ss-raped by lawyers and a Misandric State? It's no contest.

There will still be a cost to you if your woman becomes ruthless trying to take your home and invokes "Common Law Marriage benefits".

If your woman was so great and your relationship was strong with boundaries you wouldn't fear being @ss raped by lawyers and a Misandric state.

More and more people are calling you out now and more examples continue to pile up supporting boundaries.

More projection again. I see more people calling you out than me. Only the same 2 members from your boundary crew try that.

Social Leper and Pairplusroyalflush tried but they failed miserably cause their own relationships failed with boundaries. They are not credible such as yourself.

Everything you boundary guys stated has been demolished. Anybody who reads this thread can see that.

I am not making fun of Exception, I am using his life and advice as an example.

Yes you are. You are lying. You are calling him the sexless guru and other insulting comments all over the board.

Again, let's stack it up.

• Danger, zekko, Atom Smasher, Social Leper - All have gf's who aren't dating other men and who have had boundaries placed.
• Exception - No boundaries, his gf dates other men and he is getting no sex (These are common warning signs men)
• In2TheGame - Had boundaries places with no problem. Only after letting them subside does gf end up cheating on him.
• Exceptions bad advice - Told the guy to ignore (and act cool and aloof) that his girl was out drinking with another man. Turns out the other man was fvking her all along.

Your women at anytime could do the very same thing when they lose interest or obtain an option.

Zekko is a older man living with an older woman. What other options does she have? Zekko also has a failed marriage with boundaries when he was younger.

You are a middle aged man in a de facto marriage with a middle aged woman who probably doesn't have many options herself.

Social Leper and pairplusroyalflush had failed relationships with boundaries when their women had other options.

In2thegame used boundaries and failed after years of a relationship

Not much too stack up when you look at the facts is there?

The result.....failed relationships using boundaries.

The same thing that is happening to Exception happened to Leper and flush with boundaries.

You allow your woman to do what she chooses even though you set verbal boundaries at the start.

Same thing as with the guys with no boundaries.

The "verbal boundaries" become useless when the woman acts on what she really wants to do. That is hanging out with another man.

Your boundary argument has sunk faster than the Titanic.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Danger, do you really believe all of the things that you say? Or do you inherently know that your twisting of words, making up strawman arguments, and using weak 'evidence' to prove your points?

First,

I know you are losing here, but lets not make this about me with the "you are trying way too hard". It will only serve to destroy your credibility like Sollys.

Why is Solly's credibility destroyed? Because you and your boundary crew say it is? He makes some very good points in regards to boundaries, IMO. I really don't care who you guys think is credible or not.

Remember last time you did this with the "you sound like a winner" comment. If you are losing then just accept it without the insults.

Again, I don't care if YOU or your Boundary buddies think I'm 'losing'. And, yes, bro, your claim to have slept with 10 guy's gf's of guys you knew in person, personally isn't something I'd be bragging about.

Many guys do not know when they are being cheated on. Others I suppose may be smart enough to spot the red flags.

Yeah, no $hit. I've been saying this from day 1. And your comeback, to back up your argument, is that guys don't know when they're getting cheated on. So....which is it??

You're all over the place, always.

I dont mate guard, nor do I need to.

New Flash: Setting verbal boundaries on who she can't hang out with (other guys) is mate guarding. But don't take my word for it, ask your buddy Rollo, he said it himself in one of his recent posts. I'm sure you read it, considering how you like to post his links. Why don't you post that one? He actually quoted Solly in it.

You guys are so hell bent on fighting the idea of boundaries that you are fabricating stories, defining things in absolutes and lastly trying to suggest boundaries are useless because they are not 100% foolproof (nothing is) all in a severe case of confirmation bias.

Major, major projection.

I agree about the foolproof part. It's funny you say "nothing is" but then you post the one link to Exceptions advice that didn't work out for the poster on the receiving end (which can easily be explained by the way). Why do you keep posting that one example if nothing is 100% foolproof?? Why? If nothing's fool proof, then why are you blowing your load all over that one post?

And, on top of it, I've said this before: Guys blame the reason for them getting cheated on is because they didn't have 'boundaries'...and that alone was the reason their gf/wife banged another dude. As if, if they just would have had boundaries in place, their gf/wife would have never cheated.

Okie dokie.

You may not like the stats but they are the reality and they paint a picture which very much angers your camp to the point of insults.

LOL, okay, bro. Nice projection and strawman.

Do you really think your feeble attempts at rebuttals, filled with strawman arguments, projection, and very weak 'statistics' are going to make me say: oh right, Danger, you are correct!! Should have listened to you in the first place. I'm going to throw all my real life observations and experiences out the window, and listen to you?

 

[Darth]

Here is the way I see it in a more extended form.

If you are not serious about this girl, you have no RIGHT to set any limits or "boundaries". If it isn't specifically laid out as exclusive, it should be assumed that she is dating other people, you are dating other people, etc.

If you ARE exclusive (whether that means girlfriend, fiancee, or wife), then that itself to me is a boundary. If she doesn't act like a girlfriend/fiancee/wife, THEN I would deal with the issue. But I would wait to let her screw up, if that's in her nature. I wouldn't assume she would screw up right off the bat.

If I make a girl a girlfriend, I set my trust at 100%, no words needed. If she does things to break that trust, there aren't many steps between 100 and 0. Relationships end quickly when there is so little trust that you need to literally tell the girl what she can and can't do.

That's my feeling, anyway.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Danger, are you trolling?

I hope so, because I can't fathom how someone can constantly twist words, and make strawman arguments the way you do.

If not, you really need to work on your reading comprehension.

 

[TheException]

Yes you are. You are lying. You are calling him the sexless guru and other insulting comments all over the board.

Shhhhh. I rather enjoy Danger embarrassing himself. Don't make it stop!

The same thing that is happening to Exception happened to Leper and flush with boundaries.

Woah woah woah Solly......

You're not actually falling for his little "performance" are you. My gf is not denying me sex lol.....I could post a POV porn video of us and Danger still wouldn't believe it. I just stopped addressing him. I find robotic false statements boring.

It's funny you say "nothing is" but then you post the one link to Exceptions advice that didn't work out for the poster on the receiving end (which can easily be explained by the way). Why do you keep posting that one example if nothing is 100% foolproof??

He can't even quote that advice in the proper context. Anyone is free to read that thread in its entirety.

 

[Soolaimon]

Sollys credibility is destroyed because his comments are invalidated and he then just keeps restating them, because he does not like the answer.

More projection and lies from you again.

What comments are those? The ones that you agree to in contradiction or the ones you admit to after you were embarrassed?

Your comments have been invalidated each time you type.

Everybody can see that. That's why this forum doesn't take you seriously except for the 4 or 5 boundary crew members. Everybody else calls you out for what you are: a liar, projector, and contradictor.

Everything I posted about boundaries being useless has been accurate.

You are a liar and a hypocrite.

You claim men have "cost" in marriage but you enter into a de facto marriage where you have cost yourself. But trying to save face you claim the "cost" isn't much even though you still will have a cost LOL.

When a guy gets cheated on you and the boundary crew make the claim "if you set boundaries this wouldn't have happened."

You and the boundary crew cite boundaries as the only way to have successful relationships.

You say nothing is fool proof but you claim boundaries are for the guys who got cheated on telling them they need to set boundaries.

I will now point out your hypocrisy and contradictions below that shows your invalidity of boundaries through your own contradicting words again.

I have never said "NO" to my girl if she wanted to go on a "date" with another man.

Neither does Exception or other non boundary guys you make fun of.

What's the difference?

Invalid hypocritical comment.

She just chooses not to do it, especially since she has been informed it isn't part of the definition of exclusivity.

Neither does women who are in relationships with non boundary men.

Women have free will (with or without boundaries) just like I've said the whole time.

Informing her of the definition of exclusivity does not matter when she chooses to disregard it later on.

Women know it is wrong to cheat with or without boundaries. They choose to do it anyway.

What's the difference?

Invalid hypocritical comment.

But I DID say what my definition of exclusivity was in the beginning. It was only said once. That is it.

So you told her once even when she knows what the definition of exclusivity already means.

After that it's up to her to decide what she wants to do. That is to hang out with other men or not. Cheat or not cheat. Same as with a non boundary relationship being her choice.

Telling her really doesn't mean anything at all.

What's the difference?

Invalid hypocritical comment.

So there is no "not letting her" go anywhere. Once she knows the rules, she can decide as she wishes. But I am up front on them when she asks for exclusivity.

Just as the same with a woman in a non boundary relationship that can decide what she wishes.

Only difference is that you told her beforehand of what you expect of her

If she decides not to she will still cheat.

Invalid hypocritical comment.




This is the same $hit I've been telling you people in 10 threads where you claim my words are invalid and I have no credibility LOL.

That's you who is invalid with no credibility cause your boundaries are useless on just verbal words to her that she can easily decide to dismiss as soon as you repeat them.

Same $hit I've been telling you people. What an idiot.

It looks like your comments are invalidated and you have no credibility.

Where is my credibility destroyed or my words invalid?

I was right the whole time.

You guys are so hell bent on fighting the idea of boundaries that you are fabricating stories, defining things in absolutes and lastly trying to suggest boundaries are useless because they are not 100% foolproof (nothing is) all in a severe case of confirmation bias

That is you and your crew doing that cause you guys always bring up the reason for not using boundaries for the reason relationships fail.

But it's you guys who argue for boundaries who have the failed relationships through boundaries.

All you can do is cite Exception and 4 boundary crew members for your evidence on support of boundaries......even though they have threads about failed boundary relationships themselves.

You never mention the millions of successful non boundary relationships do you?

Of course nothing is fool proof but it's you guys who make boundaries to be everything.

Telling her once of what your expectations are and then letting her do as she chooses is useless to claim as "success" when women still have free will to do what they want.

You arguing about boundaries when it's only a technicality for stating terms.

 

[Soolaimon]

It's funny how you quote these boundary guys in their exact quotes and they still lie and project after you prove them wrong. Amazing!

Solly, what does me not wanting to kick my gf (presumably) out in the streets. have anything to do with enforcing boundaries?

Looks like you don't even know your own boundary you set.

You set a boundary with her wanting her out of your house and your life and you caved in on it not enforcing it when you had the opportunity to do so.

What can I say?

Where she ends up after is not the problem or any of your concern.

What matters is that she is out of the house and you failed to execute your boundary on point.

That's why women don't take you boundary guys seriously. You guys yell and scream for boundaries but when you have the chance to enforce it you wimp out and don't deliver.

Women can see that and they know you don't mean what you say. That's why your relationships turn to crap and your boundaries are useless when your inner beta and AFC tendencies come out.

I'm not sure of the extent of what happened but if you followed through on your boundary the whole thing would have been different instead of trying to reason with her as she was crying all night and you trying to explain becoming soft.

If you don't fix yourself mentally this will always be a problem for you in relatonships.

Like I always say. Use more action and less words.

I told her that she should leave the house.

Here is the boundary you set with her.

I just wanted her out so I could get on with life.

That is what you wanted...her out of your life.

I went for a walk, calmed down and then told her she could stay.

Now you cave in on your boundary and you let her stay.

You did not execute your boundary on point.

That is a fail on your part.

We talked things through and I apologised for grabbing her, something I acknowledged should never have happened. I decided to take ownership over my anger and get into a programme. Fine. She wanted to continue the relationship but went back to Germany for a week to clear her head and spend time with family.

You wanted her out of the house and your life. You caved in on your boundary becoming soft.

Now you're apologizing admitting your weaknesses to her letting a failed relationship stay in limbo.

You caved in on your boundaries you set not enforcing them like you should.

Why set them if you aren't going to enforce them?

At this point she has already decided she is moving out

So she decided she was breaking up with you.

Halfway through the film my resolve weakens and I think, “Maybe she has seen the light?” so I go into my housemate's bedroom, where she is sleeping sit down and try and explain things again, to no avail.

Now you become soft again wanting to get back with a woman whom you firmly decided you wanted out of your house and life before you took that walk.

You're caving in on your boundary again explaining to her which anybody can see was never going to work.

This is the first time in my life that I have personally witnessed the full extent of backward rationalisation and the intellectual gymnastics required to justify her position and make her out to be the victim.

I see that a lot with a certain poster in here who feigns the victim role in our discussions lol

Exception and Solly, with nothing but insults.

And the belief that owning a house together gives the same cost to exit as marriage. Completely dismissing the cost of divorce lawyers or splitting of all property.

Exception trying to ignore his most recent thread where his gf is disrobing teasingly in front of him but denying him sex. And his original thread where he points out he does not get laid whenever he wants.

You men are quite simoly refusing to acknowledge reality. Meanwhile zekko, atom smasher, social leper and others have women who do not "date" other men and are not denied sex (or at least social and I are not, I cannot speak for zekko or Atom).

So, continue the name calling, it is all you have left.

An admission of defeat as you wave the white flag.

I thought you would have more than just your super thin argument you keep repeating.

Nobody insulted you like you do to others constantly in here calling them feminized, limp wristers, sexless, cupcake etc. for not setting a boundary.

You have no answers to the points I just made above that makes your boundary argument invalid. So you come back with this feigning the victim role again as a cop out.

There were no insults. But instead you cower away hiding from your super thin argument in this quote claiming insults, insulting Exception again (what's your obsession with him anyway?), citing the same 4 boundary crew members as a boundary success. That's all you got man. You have nothing else left to say after that. The same constant repetitive citations in very post you make that were shown to be false.

Don't forget all of them had the same problems in previous relationships too but you don't ever mention that.

Any one of them including you can be denied sex at some point in your current relationships too. Nothing is 100% fool proof is it? And it's not your boundaries for the reason you're getting sex. It's the woman's attraction.

You mock men for getting married but you are in a de facto marriage yourself.

You claim those men give up their value, freedom, and have cost.....well so did you.

The point is that you will still be paying a woman off, giving up a nice chunk of change to her, splitting up property, going through all that hassle just as a married man does. But to save face you say it's not as much as a married man gives up. You're still giving $hit up. LOL

That makes you a hypocrite for still giving up a lot for one woman.

I don't see how you can have a strong frame in your relationship when you fall apart in a message forum over your own boundary system after members critique it. Wonder what happens when your woman $hit tests your boundaries?

 

[VikingKing]

It's funny how you quote these boundary guys in their exact quotes and they still lie and project after you prove them wrong. Amazing!


Looks like you don't even know your own boundary you set.

You set a boundary with her wanting her out of your house and your life and you caved in on it not enforcing it when you had the opportunity to do so.

What can I say?

Where she ends up after is not the problem or any of your concern.

What matters is that she is out of the house and you failed to execute your boundary on point.

That's why women don't take you boundary guys seriously. You guys yell and scream for boundaries but when you have the chance to enforce it you wimp out and don't deliver.

Women can see that and they know you don't mean what you say. That's why your relationships turn to crap and your boundaries are useless when your inner beta and AFC tendencies come out.

I'm not sure of the extent of what happened but if you followed through on your boundary the whole thing would have been different instead of trying to reason with her as she was crying all night and you trying to explain becoming soft.

If you don't fix yourself mentally this will always be a problem for you in relatonships.

Like I always say. Use more action and less words.




Here is the boundary you set with her.



That is what you wanted...her out of your life.



Now you cave in on your boundary and you let her stay.

You did not execute your boundary on point.

That is a fail on your part.



You wanted her out of the house and your life. You caved in on your boundary becoming soft.

Now you're apologizing admitting your weaknesses to her letting a failed relationship stay in limbo.

You caved in on your boundaries you set not enforcing them like you should.

Why set them if you aren't going to enforce them?



So she decided she was breaking up with you.



Now you become soft again wanting to get back with a woman whom you firmly decided you wanted out of your house and life before you took that walk.

You're caving in on your boundary again explaining to her which anybody can see was never going to work.



I see that a lot with a certain poster in here who feigns the victim role in our discussions lol








An admission of defeat as you wave the white flag.

I thought you would have more than just your super thin argument you keep repeating.

Nobody insulted you like you do to others constantly in here calling them feminized, limp wristers, sexless, cupcake etc. for not setting a boundary.

You have no answers to the points I just made above that makes your boundary argument invalid. So you come back with this feigning the victim role again as a cop out.

There were no insults. But instead you cower away hiding from your super thin argument in this quote claiming insults, insulting Exception again (what's your obsession with him anyway?), citing the same 4 boundary crew members as a boundary success. That's all you got man. You have nothing else left to say after that. The same constant repetitive citations in very post you make that were shown to be false.

Don't forget all of them had the same problems in previous relationships too but you don't ever mention that.

Any one of them including you can be denied sex at some point in your current relationships too. Nothing is 100% fool proof is it? And it's not your boundaries for the reason you're getting sex. It's the woman's attraction.

You mock men for getting married but you are in a de facto marriage yourself.

You claim those men give up their value, freedom, and have cost.....well so did you.

The point is that you will still be paying a woman off, giving up a nice chunk of change to her, splitting up property, going through all that hassle just as a married man does. But to save face you say it's not as much as a married man gives up. You're still giving $hit up. LOL

That makes you a hypocrite for still giving up a lot for one woman.

I don't see how you can have a strong frame in your relationship when you fall apart in a message forum over your own boundary system after members critique it. Wonder what happens when your woman $hit tests your boundaries?

But no one is perfect, and men have feelings also. You really care way to much about trying to prove the boundary guys wrong. You really have nothing better to do?

They arn't going to agree with you.

 

[No.Danny]

Why can't we all be friends and agree to disagree :flowers:
Come on guys lets just hug it out:rockon: