Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
There are a bunch of threads floating around about boundaries, a fairly polarizing subject. I thought I'd make a new thread so my point doesn't get lost in the cavalcade of boundary threads.
Remember, guys, setting boundaries is conveyed as an agreement, not a dictation. You are eliminating future problems by discussing the parameters of the relationship, which are outlined by you. This is your job as a man.
What you are doing is getting her to verbally agree to your point of view, because "It's right for us", etc. She sees you as protecting the relationship (her) and she sees you as a man who is not afraid to take the reins and define the rules.
Think of it as salesmanship, where an important goal is to get the prospect to say "yes" to things and to agree to certain principles. That paves the way for the close as it's harder for the prospect to go back on the principles they just agreed to.
A woman needs to know you have standards and expectations, and she needs to see ruthless enforcement of the rules. If you don't enforce the small stuff she'll test you on the big stuff.
In summary, it's not a matter of sitting her down and giving her a formal talk. Rather, it's working it into the conversation when the time is right, after she has expressed interest in a steady relationship. It starts with covert communications to soften the target, culminating in a brief absolute statement of what you expect and what you both agree to.
Done in that way, setting boundaries is easy and she'll feel great appreciation for your taking charge and leading her.
She sees it as an agreement, not something that has been dictated to her, even though in fact you have done just that.
Remember, guys, setting boundaries is conveyed as an agreement, not a dictation. You are eliminating future problems by discussing the parameters of the relationship, which are outlined by you. This is your job as a man.
What you are doing is getting her to verbally agree to your point of view, because "It's right for us", etc. She sees you as protecting the relationship (her) and she sees you as a man who is not afraid to take the reins and define the rules.
Think of it as salesmanship, where an important goal is to get the prospect to say "yes" to things and to agree to certain principles. That paves the way for the close as it's harder for the prospect to go back on the principles they just agreed to.
A woman needs to know you have standards and expectations, and she needs to see ruthless enforcement of the rules. If you don't enforce the small stuff she'll test you on the big stuff.
In summary, it's not a matter of sitting her down and giving her a formal talk. Rather, it's working it into the conversation when the time is right, after she has expressed interest in a steady relationship. It starts with covert communications to soften the target, culminating in a brief absolute statement of what you expect and what you both agree to.
Done in that way, setting boundaries is easy and she'll feel great appreciation for your taking charge and leading her.
She sees it as an agreement, not something that has been dictated to her, even though in fact you have done just that.