Over 50% of wives cheat

Soolaimon

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guru1000 said:
NO woman will understand appropriate behavior- on ALL facets.


Women won't be able to follow your insecure boundaries when they can't understand appropriate behavior.

They won't know what appropriate behavior is.

They won't follow your rules or insecure boundaries when they don't care to follow your insecure rules giving you your fake power trip.

You are another guy who makes contradictions.

The few of you guys must be reading out of the same handbook.

All the same phony concepts repeated by each of you using your irrational words and thinking.



guru1000 said:
This ideology of “free will” is asinine.



Your thinking is what is asinine.

I've never read so many preposterous concepts in my entire life.

You guys are angry cause you all have been proven wrong with your insecurities.

Every human has free will to do what they choose. That is what makes us humans.

Women are not robots that follows each of your commands for life.

Women have their own minds to decide what they want. That is free will.

Your boundaries isn't going to stop them from leaving you when they lose interest for you.

If that was the case they would never cheat on a man or leave him.

You would still be with the first woman you ever had if your "ideology" was true.

You are no guru.

You people have no clue what you are even saying.

Learn something about women and the human mind before you post comments.

Hilarious!

Keep it coming!

 

Soolaimon

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zekko said:
All you "No Boundary" people say that it does no good to set boundaries, because she will do what she wants and will not follow the boundaries anyway.

So, by that logic, then there is no reason to ever get into an exclusive relationship ever. Because by being exclusive, she is agreeing not to cheat on you. But she will do what she wants and will cheat when she wants to anyway, no matter what she tells you, right? So what is the point of ever being in a relationship in the first place?



You are twisting the logic around cause you still don't understand anything about women or relationships.

Why wouldn't you want to be in a relationship?

Women are going to respect you as long as she has respect for you holding high interest.

That will happen both with or without a boundary in place.

When she loses respect and interest for you she will do what she wants looking for another man.

That will happen both with or without a boundary in place.

Can't you guys understand that?




Your boundary was for your own phony protection and insecurity.

She will leave you anyway even with your boundary when she doesn't like you anymore.

The same outcome will occur with or without a boundary.

Can you guys finally understand that?

Your boundary is useless when she decides to break it cause of low interest.

Become a High Value man keeping the relationship solid then you won't need insecure boundaries out of fear.

Boundaries are useless when her interest is gone.





dasein said:
Note there's nothing "fear-based" or "insecure" or "fallacious" anywhere in the above, so Soolaimon don't even bother.

Since you can't comprehend the simple basic stuff I won't. That would be a waste of my time.

If you can't understand by now at age 50 that relationships are driven by interest and attraction and not insecure boundaries then you will still have a hard time with women in your middle aged years.

This comes as no surprise to me as you need to shame a simple first drink date saying "it blows" making fun of it.

You need to impress women by taking them to an art gallery on a nice first date that they haven't even earned yet in order to get into their pants.

That is more beta than setting a boundary out of fear.

Don't forget to tip the art gallery owner for a good show!
 
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dasein

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Soolaimon said:
This comes as no surprise to me as you need to shame a simple first drink date saying "it blows" making fun of it.
I'm truly sorry that my opinion, "coffee dates blow" some time ago in another thread scarred you so deeply that you are bringing that into this thread. Please accept my deepest apologies, and I will try to be more sensitive to your mental state going forward.

Soolaimon said:
You need to impress women by taking them to an art gallery on a nice first date that they haven't even earned yet in order to get into their pants.
That is more beta than setting a boundary out of fear.
Don't forget to tip the art gallery owner for a good show!
While guys like you are fumbling at bra straps, I'm getting a strip tease and watching the juice run down her leg.

From the first encounter, everything you do is either getting her wet or drying her up. Art galleries (or any of dozens of other options), which cost no more than a coffee date, and you often get -free- booze, invited to -free- after parties, meet -other- women, make -social- connections, make them wet. Coffee dates make them dry up. It takes literally no extra time, effort or money to turn first dates juicy, and I don't even have to run any extra game at all to obtain the results.

Oops, guess that wasn't very sensitive.
 

The411

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dasein said:
I'm truly sorry that my opinion, "coffee dates blow" some time ago in another thread scarred you so deeply that you are bringing that into this thread. Please accept my deepest apologies, and I will try to be more sensitive to your mental state going forward.



While guys like you are fumbling at bra straps, I'm getting a strip tease and watching the juice run down her leg.

From the first encounter, everything you do is either getting her wet or drying her up. Art galleries (or any of dozens of other options), which cost no more than a coffee date, and you often get -free- booze, invited to -free- after parties, meet -other- women, make -social- connections, make them wet. Coffee dates make them dry up. It takes literally no extra time, effort or money to turn first dates juicy, and I don't even have to run any extra game at all to obtain the results.

Oops, guess that wasn't very sensitive.

Coffee dates rock! Haven't you learned anything from Droolaimon yet? You should always meet for coffee and just be ATTRACTIVE to chicks as they qualify themselves to you while you don't bore them by being ATTRACTIVE. Then you lead them where ever! Always show up for coffee meets only, no matter where you plan on traveling! Otherwise you aren't planning on doing something you feel like doing but you're automatically doing it to impress the chick to throw her off from your boring personality!

I've been taking notes of Droolaimons tips! Awesome stuff! :up: :crazy:
 

guru1000

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Sool, you avoided or obfuscated every tenet of my contention, lol. Instead you regurgitated the same drivel—or shall we say 10-word vocabulary—as you had in your last 71 posts.

Perhaps study the “art of discourse” and learn how to address tenets of an argument before posting---or shall we say copying and pasting—or better yet… go home, grab a pencil, underline each word of the argument, locate the central tenet, and address only that tenet and nothing else using words outside your 10-word lexicon.

Then maybe your posts will be given consideration and this discussion could organically develop. How old are you btw, 18?
 

Soolaimon

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Here is how your boundary theory actually works. It is a waste of time.

It is based on false premises, fear, false hopes, and insecurity.





She pushes for exclusivity.

You sit her down in a long winded explanation defining "your terms" of exclusivity to her.

She looks at you nodding in agreement as you ramble on with "your terms".

It goes in her one ear and out the other ear of what you are saying to her.

Later on after she loses in interest in you she will sleep with another man.

"Your terms" you set months ago are useless cause she doesn't care to follow them now.

"Your terms" of the past don't matter to her anymore when it's her feelings of the present that she cares about.

She will sleep with the other man cause of her feelings of the present. 'Your terms" of the past are now useless.

She is voiding "your terms" breaking the boundary you set cause she can.

She will be dumped for cheating on you.

The boundary and the "terms" you set was a waste of time.

Your verbal words were useless cause it didn't do anything different than setting no boundaries would do. The same outcome occured.

You guys are trying to set terms expecting women to follow "your terms".

These are the same women who defied their own parents terms, rules, and expectations doing what they want.

The women didn't listen to their own parents terms. Women have free will to do what they want.

Do you honestly think they are going to follow "your terms" when they don't want to?

Hilarious!

These are the same women who didn't listen to teachers, bosses, friends, and previous boyfriends.

They aren't going to listen to you when they want another man.

This is why your boundary theory is useless and is a waste of time.

Women are going to do what they want when they lose attraction and respect for you with or without a boundary in place.

'Your terms" of the boundary you cling to isn't going to keep her around following your wishes. It's a fake power trip for you that becomes useless.

Learn how to keep the attraction of your woman being a high value man.

All of your insecure gimmicks and tricks won't be necessary to keep her around.

You won't need to live in fear each day of her cheating on you.

Maybe you can now finally see how useless your boundaries are.

 

The411

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Soolaimon said:

Here is how your boundary theory actually works. It is a waste of time.

It is based on false premises, fear, false hopes, and insecurity.





She pushes for exclusivity.

You sit her down in a long winded explanation defining "your terms" of exclusivity to her.

She looks at you nodding in agreement as you ramble on with "your terms".

It goes in her one ear and out the other ear of what you are saying to her.

Later on after she loses in interest in you she will sleep with another man.

"Your terms" you set months ago are useless cause she doesn't care to follow them now.

"Your terms" of the past don't matter to her anymore when it's her feelings of the present that she cares about.

She will sleep with the other man cause of her feelings of the present. 'Your terms" of the past are now useless.

She is voiding "your terms" breaking the boundary you set cause she can.

She will be dumped for cheating on you.

The boundary and the "terms" you set was a waste of time.

Your verbal words were useless cause it didn't do anything different than setting no boundaries would do. The same outcome occured.

You guys are trying to set terms expecting women to follow "your terms".

These are the same women who defied their own parents terms, rules, and expectations doing what they want.

The women didn't listen to their own parents terms. Women have free will to do what they want.

Do you honestly think they are going to follow "your terms" when they don't want to?

Hilarious!

These are the same women who didn't listen to teachers, bosses, friends, and previous boyfriends.

They aren't going to listen to you when they want another man.

This is why your boundary theory is useless and is a waste of time.

Women are going to do what they want when they lose attraction and respect for you with or without a boundary in place.

'Your terms" of the boundary you cling to isn't going to keep her around following your wishes. It's a fake power trip for you that becomes useless.

Learn how to keep the attraction of your woman being a high value man.

All of your insecure gimmicks and tricks won't be necessary to keep her around.

You won't need to live in fear each day of her cheating on you.

Maybe you can now finally see how useless your boundaries are.

I'd guess Sooli believes the Ten Commandments are God's own insecure 'boundaries' since they've been broken as well.

His own parents boundaries are their 'insecurities'.

Laws must be 'insecure' boundaries because they've been broken too.

Borders for countries must be 'insecure' boundaries.

So Suave's terms and conditions are 'insecure' boundaries.

Employers boundaries must be their 'insecurities' as well.

Boundaries will remain a word in the dictionary.



Boundaries are there for a reason and many reasons. It's up to others to accept them or not. If they don't? Then the time will come for them to deal with the consequences of crossing those boudaries. Regardless if Sooli likes it or not. Sooli isn't prepared to deal with life. :kick:
 

logicallefty

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Boundaries; expressed, implied, or articulated in full; shall exist to set negative consequences for those who defy what they agreed they shall do. The problem is not who set said boundaries, but those who defy them. lefty
 

zekko

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The411 said:
His own parents boundaries are their 'insecurities'.

Laws must be 'insecure' boundaries because they've been broken too.

Borders for countries must be 'insecure' boundaries.

So Suave's terms and conditions are 'insecure' boundaries.

Employers boundaries must be their 'insecurities' as well.

Boundaries will remain a word in the dictionary.
Fantastic post, 411, and great points as well.
The fact is, just being in an exclusive relationship IS A BOUNDARY IN ITSELF!
So I really don't get all the heated reactions about it.

One more note: Despite all of the doom and gloom predictions about setting boundaries here, I've used them successfully. So I guess all the warnings against them are just nonsense.
 

The411

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zekko said:
Fantastic post, 411, and great points as well.
The fact is, just being in an exclusive relationship IS A BOUNDARY IN ITSELF!
So I really don't get all the heated reactions about it.

One more note: Despite all of the doom and gloom predictions about setting boundaries here, I've used them successfully. So I guess all the warnings against them are just nonsense.

The problem with lil Sooli is that he's attempting to speak as the authority on boundaries when he isn't the authority on boundaries in the first place. If lil Sooli is going to make an argument based on authority he'd have to first prove he is the authority.
 

Evan

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I don't see anything wrong with either mindset. Danger makes good points that letting a women know your boundaries can be a very good thing. If she really likes you she will want to follow it.

Soolaimon makes a good point that she could lie to you and no matter what boundary you can't control her. But I don't see the harm in throwing out there what you expect from her if she is trying to get your commitment. This way it is easier to let her go if she ****s up.

My opinion on both is one isn't better or more alpha than another. Being more casual with this has a real positive side to it. If you truly don't care what she does then you have no drama. No issues. All you do is worry about yourself and let women do exactly what they want to do. Which I think is good if you don't let her take advantage of you. And I think that's where your talk of boundaries comes in. Being able to walk away if she's taking advantage of you.

I don't think Soolaimon is saying to let her take advantage of you. But I do think being explicit about your boundaries can let a women know how you expect to be treated. It's no guarantee that she is going to follow your rules. But to accept these as an outcome eliminates any fear you have and also gives her freedom to do what she wants as well. You just have a firm grasp on what you want in your life and don't want. Once again she can lie to you to get into your good graces but at least you put it out there.

I think for any man who goes through this process runs into this debate with themselves. It was cool to see it in a forum.
 

VikingKing

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Women are far to entitled and have to many options. The vast sea of betas reinforce this entitlement in women, as does he media in both men and women.

You're best bet is to treat the majority of women like objects, not feel sympathy or empathy for them.

You all mentally masturbate way to much on this subject when sh!t is not this complicated. Keep it simple.

Soola, jurry, and exception you are way to sympathetic to women. You are either ignorant men (who may be choosing to stay ignorant) or you're women who screech nawalt.

But in a way your right about not setting boundaries, but its not like how you say.

Don't set boundaries, but just fvcking use women, and toss them aside when your bored. That's how you avoid setting boundaries.
 

jurry

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This has nothing to do with sympathy or with being too scared to set boundaries on a woman, it has to do with living in a reality based mindset and not taking life so seriously that you try to control everything.

"My girl" (an obnoxious phrase) has a great job and travels sometimes.. Right now she is in Hong Kong. What the fvck difference does a boundary make? Am i gona call her everyday asking where she is or whos shes with? I simply dont give a fvck, shes doing what she wants Im doing what I want. I go out talk to girls hang w friends when shes gone, and its great. We have trust. We are both mature enough to realize that if it wasnt working out one of us would simply end it. If she meets some high powered businessman in hong kong, great! What the fvck do i care, thats life and theres a million more women after her. Am I really going to sit around whining to her about boundary conversations? No, next!

Enjoy life, do what makes you happy. I cant put it much more simply than that. I have no interest in being in a relationship with someone that needs that much boundary discussion, nor do I wan your approach noobolgy - to be a complete unfeeling zombie and just bang girls and toss em out, so that youll never have to take a risk and feel something for a girl. Y'all are making it wayy more complicated and stressful than it should be.

Explain to me why someone living with an abundance mentality would need to set boundaries? It doesnt make any sense.
 

jurry

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Danger said:
Jurry,

You almost understood the concept, but now you have backslid.

You still think it is about "control", when it is about communicating your expectations and filtering.

The only thing you are controlling here is for who you allow in your life, and who you share your precious commitment with.

I live with an abundance mentality, therefore I CAN make my expectations known. It is only the men who fear "a good girl getting away" who do not have the abundance mentality.
My filtering goes on wayy before im even thinking about exclusivity with a girl. If we have gotten to that point we would already be on the same page with each other and no multi point legal contract discussion would need to be laid out as dasein described it earlier. As I said earlier, two grown ups should have no issue understanding what exclusivity means. If you are dealing with a child of a woman who needs this kind of thing explained to her then you are probably in for a lot of headaches.

If you are the one being pursued, it is going to be HER who shuts off her other options and wants to be with you all the time.. (If its a really good match you will both be doing this). Explaining your expectations at that point makes no sense since she will already have shown you she meets them, therefore no discussion necessary.

Maybe it works for you I dont know, ive just never heard of people going through all that nonsense to make something explicitly known which is already implied. The people who do are generally guys who are trying to lock the girl down, change her habits, stop her from doing xyz, etc.

If you are working with an abundance mentality, you would either be satisfied with how the girl is on her own or you would have bailed if she didnt meet your expectations and found someone else. The only reason you would need a boundary discussion is if she was not already meeting those expectations and you wanted to change her behavior, which directly contradicts the abundance mentality.

I ask again, why would a man who has many options and abundance consider getting serious with a girl who he ALREADY KNOWS is doing things he doesnt approve of? What other way can you describe it than trying to control?
 

Peaks&Valleys

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jurry said:
This has nothing to do with sympathy or with being too scared to set boundaries on a woman
These guys will never understand this....ever.


Explain to me why someone living with an abundance mentality would need to set boundaries? It doesnt make any sense.
No, it doesn't.

She should be trying to keep you. Instead they're preaching that the man should be trying to keep her.

:kick:
 

Peaks&Valleys

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The411 said:
I'd guess Sooli believes the Ten Commandments are God's own insecure 'boundaries' since they've been broken as well.

His own parents boundaries are their 'insecurities'.

Laws must be 'insecure' boundaries because they've been broken too.

Borders for countries must be 'insecure' boundaries.

So Suave's terms and conditions are 'insecure' boundaries.

Employers boundaries must be their 'insecurities' as well.

Boundaries will remain a word in the dictionary.
Typical KJ analogy.

The kid has no choice but to follow his parents rules. He can't choose new parents. Countries? Yeah, people come into this Country all the time, illegally. Not much good that boundary is doing is it? SS's terms and conditions? They're a joke. People break those "boundaries" all the time. Nothing happens to them. Those boundaries are set but people keep breaking them. You yourself, 411, admitted to having previous usernames. Did you get banned? What happened there. You came back and are still posting like the keyboard warrior you truly are. And, yeah, employer's do set boundaries, those get broken too. People come in late, slack off, fvck around. Then they quit when they find a better job, or get fired. So what?

You have no point here. Your analogy has nothing to do with attraction or the male/female relationship dynamic. Your analogy is idiotic.
 

jurry

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Comments in bold
Danger said:
Jurry,

First thing you should realize is......filtering NEVER ends. if you a paranoid control freak, yea it probably doesnt.. Otherwise you just walk when you realize its not gona work like a normal person

Second thing you should realize, women don't believe they have to shut off their other options when committing to a guy.if you are dealing with low quality women i guess so, its a ridiculous statement to make either way, every person I know understands what exclusivity/commitment means

Lastly, I already answered your question. I have an abundance mentality. I know my value and am confident I can replace a girl which is why I can spend the one minute to tell her my definition of exclusivity when she requests it. There is no "all this nonsense" to go through. It literally is one minute of your time to provide clarity to the whole subject.As I said, i dont know anyone who needs clarity on the subject. If you know your value you wouldnt need to waste a minute of your time explaining something obvious, or be with a girl who needs this explained to her.


Let's face reality here. The only reason a man *would not* share his definition of exclusivity is.....? He thinks she will no longer want to go exclusive. THAT is scarcity mentality.
Because he would not need to ever share it, it is already understood. The only reason you would feel the need to define something this obvious is if you were worried about getting cheated on.
 

VikingKing

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jurry said:
Comments in bold
Because he would not need to ever share it, it is already understood. The only reason you would feel the need to define something this obvious is if you were worried about getting cheated on.
The moment a woman loses attraction for you whether its because of something you did or didn't do, or if she simply finds some one else more attractive, her "morals" and "conviction" will go out the window. This is how most women are.

Stop being a white knight.
 
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