Over 50% of wives cheat

[Zarky]

Only 2% of rape accusations are unfounded [source].

Pretty silly stat. One would have to be omniscient to even propose that type of statistic.

 

[skinnyguy]

I think Dholmagus is going gay.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Beta is not having the balls to screen your woman with a value system that precludes her dating other men while in a committed relationship.

Back to your STRAW MAN arguments I see.

I dated and spun lots of plates when I selected my gf....so your assertion is wrong on the distortion claim.

You spun plates. Good for YOU. However, just because YOU spun plates AND set an OVERT boundary, it doesn't mean $hit. And since we're on the subject, your "boundaries" are also set by betas, and men that are in Fear of their women cheating on them.<------That is irrefutable. But since you're "Alpha" then the reasoning for setting those boundaries must be different.

He's actually right. We're so quick to question stats that support the feminist agenda, why not other MSM stats? Oh right, because they affirm our pre-formed conclusions.

"50% of wives cheat". Please. How is that even remotely verifiable. And even if it were true, that tell us nothing useful. Like you'll somehow be "safe" from infidelity if you don't marry.

I mis-read this the first time. My point still stands though. *shrugs*

 

[Soolaimon]

A sampling of 3 women = 50% of wives cheating?

No surprise that every guy who believes in boundaries were quick to express their fears confirming a faulty study.

Basically if you take steps to protect yourself from a cheater, you are "insecure" or "fearful".

Those steps are your insecure boundary that doesn't work.

Isn't your boundary supposed to filter out the cheaters?

You should have nothing to fear with your boundary.

I don't care about the "why", I only care that I am protecting myself.

Cause you have the fear of being cheated on. The reason for your boundaries.

Men, it is the RESULTS that matter, not what some feminist advocate says you shouldn't do because you "fear" it.

If your boundary works so great then you shouldn't have to "fear" it.

I fear making bad investments

Here we finally have it.

You have fear.

You are riddled with fear.

You are terrified of being cheated on.

The reason for your useless boundary.

Glad you finally admitted it.

When you bring out a barrage of feeeel words and a strawman scenario your argument ain't looking too good sister.

Tell us again about "white privilege" and how much you hate those yucky 1950's housewives. I liked those stories better, you suck at this one.

btw I lol'd at you trying to sell a man's ego as a negative trait.

Who can take you seriously posting this crap? Is this all that you are able to post?

Your are just like a feminist shaming a man for his words.

Pathetic!

 

[Epimanes]

Yes, your marriage. Your wife cheated on you.

Nope... Not really. Unless talking to someone across the internet and getting feelings for them in the process but never seeing them or speaking on the phone (just msn and in game chat) is cheating... Looking back on it all .. I believe I may have over reacted. I mean come on... Throw away 15years (at the time but now its 20) over some guy across the interent and world? I think not...

 

[( . )( . )]

This threads got it all

Uh oh and not to be outdone here comes Soolaimon the wimminz & Yiddish studies major with it's own barrage of over the top feeel words.

No surprise that every guy who believes in boundaries were quick to express their fears confirming a faulty study.

Those steps are your insecure boundary that doesn't work.

You should have nothing to fear with your boundary.

Cause you have the fear of being cheated on. The reason for your boundaries.

If your boundary works so great then you shouldn't have to "fear" it.

You have fear.

You are riddled with fear.

You are terrified of being cheated on.

Pathetic!

Take THAT patriarchy !!!:box:

 

[Zarky]

A sampling of 3 women = 50% of wives cheating?

1 cheated, 1 didn't, and 1 half-cheated

 

[zekko]

If I were taking my best guess, I would say that 50% of women cheating sounds about right.

Also, just to note: This forum is full of guys who came here because they didn't think it could happen to them.

 

[jurry]

More insecures and fearfuls from Solly, who's only weapon is shaming. This is it Solly, this is all you have to try and corral and control men.

Calling them fearful and insecure.

Solly, tell us again why it is so important to you that men do not place expectations on women?


Why do you want women to be unaccountable and free to date other men while supposedly committed to you?

My boundary filtered perfectly.....she doesn't date other men and she is attractive, feminine, sweet and loving.

I filter out the bad $hit from my life, which is my life is so amazing. You could say "I fear bad $hit" (and YOU would).....but a person who is immune to your feminist shaming recognizes that it is just plain wise to filter bad $hit out of your life. You call it insecure and fearful because you WANT bad $hit in mine and other men's lives.

Go back to the hole you came from, nobody buys your $hit except spineless betas who do not have the ability or balls to impose their terms on life.

Why would a DJ feel the need to "impose terms on life"? Why would he GIVE A FVCK what a woman is doing when hes not with her?? He has all the options in the world, he is outcome independent. If a girl loses attraction, she loses attraction. Relationships are not legal contracts, she isnt going to say "man this guy is a total douche but wait he told me not to see other people so i guess i wont".

You cant "screen for cheating", all you can do is be your own man and come what may. I remember all the aggressive jock types in HS/college who would fight some guy if they even talked to their gf, checking her phone, etc. They were always the ones who got cheated on and get broken up with. The guy who keeps the girl never has to say a word, because she knows hes got 5 other options waiting in line, he simply doesnt care.

To each his own certainly, I just think you're creating a whole lot of stress for yourself with this approach. If you dont trust a girl, you should not be in a LTR (god forbid a marriage) with her. Explicitly "imposing your terms" isnt going to change this fact, likely will make it worse in fact.

 

[dasein]

With that said, and I apologize to this thread for the tangent, I was wondering if you will change your stance on the Duke Lacrosse Team?

Only 2% of rape accusations are unfounded [source].

Not 50%. A mere two percent!

I have seen legitimate studies that puts the lifetime cheating % of married men and women at 50%. What the studies and the statmongers don't account is separations and trial separations. Since 50% of marriages end in divorce, a huge chunk of "cheating" can be explained by pre divorce separations, formal and informal, which in my mind is not cheating. OTOH, people lie, if I were a cheater, no way no how would I ever admit it to anyone, let alone as part of some study, no matter what guarantees of anonymity. There's also the female gift for rationalization "it's not really cheating when you are unhappy or being mistreated," mistreatment being "he didn't tell me he loved me this week, he raised his voice." So who knows what the real truth is?

One thing I do know is that the cliche of men as dogs and more likely to cheat is utter BS. Women cheat every bit as much if not more.

Turning to the 2% rape thing, that has been thoroughly debunked. Google "Greer legal dominance feminism 2%" for a pdf of an excellent law review article describing how that stat, as all feminist stats, was fabricated out of thin air. The actual % of false rape allegations is probably 10-20%, and studies have come in as high as 40%. Never ever take any feminist related stat or claim about anything at face value. All lies, every single one of their talking points.

 

[rum]

Erin's husband's frequent traveling made her the most susceptible to an affair according to Dr. Weil, and in fact, Erin has become friendly with a stay-at-home father who lives in the neighborhood

She's cheating already and I would bet my life on it.

 

[jurry]

Comments in bold.

It isn't about the "need" to, it is about having the power to. It is precisely the options available to him which allows for him to screen women to meet his standards and expectations.

The method you suggest is to give away exclusivity WITHOUT considering whether the woman is damage or compatible. This makes no sense.No, it isnt. You just pulled this out of thin air. I would not be exclusive with a girl until I trusted her and had been dating for a long time. I wouldnt have to sit down and tell her not to see other people, because SHE would be the one pushing for it, not me.

A man who knows his worth is patient for the right girl who matches his values and expectations. He imposes those terms on life simply because he can. A man of value does not commit to any woman and then see if it "works out". This is the concept of the beta who has limited options.Yes I agree with all of this, but you get that girl by being patient and having many options as you say, not by trying to force her to be a certain way or change her.





If you think that there are no indicators of infidelity, then quite simply, you don't have experience with women. You have too much to learn before you start making these crazy statements.indicators, certainly. The average chick you meet though with no knowledge of her past you just have to get to know, theres no way around it. Keep other options and let it develop as it does, if thats what you want to call screening, ok.

As for your stress comment. A man of value does not get stressed at his expectations. He knows his value and will not rush into a commitment unless it is with a woman worthy of him.absolutely, the stress was in reference to the guy who is constantly worrying and checking his girls phone, fighting with her over a guy she talks to, etc. No DJ/alpha would waste time with that crap he would just walk or be too busy banging other girls to care

YOU are projecting stress at the idea of filtering women on this basis simply because you have a scarcity mentality. Why would you feel stress at filtering these women, or why would you think other men would be stressed by this?I dont have stress about it, because "filtering women" is not an active imposing of terms for me, i date the amount of girls i want, let the relationships develop on their own, the ones that are interested will stay, if there is mutual long term interest then it will obviously continue. Not that complicated. By having to have exclusivity talks early on and keep analyzing her actions wondering about her cheating, this seems a whole lot more stressful approach. Maybe it isnt for you, I duno.

Either she shares the same values or she does not. Move on if she doesn't, it is that simple.Exactly, but you will know she has the same values as the relationship develops, you wont have to keep bringing it up and discussing it..which only makes you sound needy and scared of losing her

 

[jurry]

Good points, I see where you are coming from and think we were talking past each other a bit.

If you go back to the OP and some other posters here though, they are basically saying they are scared of marriage (or an LTR presumably) because of some article about women cheating. What Exception is saying (and I agree with him) is that you cannot let your fear get the better of you. Yes, there are cheating women - and men - out there. Should we not even bother trying then because we might get hurt? Of course not.

If you bring that fearful attitude to your interactions with women, they will sense it. You have to let it go. This doesnt mean you shouldnt be vigilant or aware of whats going on with the girl, or define the terms of a relationship when it gets to that point as you say, but it does mean you have to surrender an amount of certainty and security and put yourself out there. Everything is NOT under your control, we all get burned and flaked on, which is why having multiple options and an abundance mentality is so valuable.

 

[Soolaimon]

I filter out the bad $hit from my life, which is my life is so amazing.

Why don't you filter out your fear and insecurity of your woman cheating?

You won't need to have insecure useless boundaries.

You aren't filtering out anything when you still have fear of your woman cheating.

Not everything in life can be filtered out. Are you crazy?

If that was the case nobody in this world would have any problems they would all set their filters to amazing enjoying every aspect of life.

Can you filter out getting sick? Can you filter out getting in an accident? Can you filter out bad things from happening to you?

You are living in delusion and denial if you think you can filter out every little bad thing from your life from here on out.

Life is life. There are no filters that can make your life perfect from top to bottom every single day.

$hit happens. That is life. You can't filter that out. You can't filter out things you don't know is going to happen.

Learn something about what life is all about.

Fake filters won't help you out when you can't control the outcome.

No wonder you cling to your phony boundaries as a filter for security.

One day you will find out that imaginary filters and boundaries won't save you.

I fear making bad investments.

You are in fear of your woman leaving you.

She is the bad investment that you are in fear of.

How is living in fear amazing?

Me I don't care.

I don't need to set fearful boundaries living in fear of a bad investment.

She then CHOOSES whether she wants that exclusivity or not.

All she has to do is "agree" to "your terms" keeping other men hidden off to the side.

You will never know she is doing that.

You are living in delusion thinking you are filtering all men out of her life.

You are living in delusion thinking you are filtering out all the bad $hit from your life.

Any bad $hit can occur at any moment in your life.

You think you can prevent all that with a filter.

Hilarious!

 

[( . )( . )]

Take THAT patriarchy!!! .....x2

your fear and insecurity of your woman cheating?

You won't need to have insecure useless boundaries.

you still have fear

Not everything in life can be filtered out. Are you crazy?

You are living in delusion and denial if you think you can filter out every little bad thing from your life from here on out.


You are in fear of your woman leaving you.

She is the bad investment that you are in fear of.

How is living in fear amazing?

I don't need to set fearful boundaries living in fear of a bad investment.

You are living in delusion thinking you are filtering all men out of her life.

You are living in delusion thinking you are filtering out all the bad $hit from your life.

Hilarious!

The feeeeeelz. Can you feeel it?

 

[TheException]

Thought experiment:

If one of you NON-insecure anti-boundaries people set a boundary. ..would that make you insecure?

Here's a thought for your "thought-experiment"......

Is the boundary placed because of fear or insecurity? :crazy:

 

[TheException]

So you admit that the motivation for the boundary is the relevant consideration and that the boundary does not itself impute insecurity?

They are one in the same.

The motivation for implementing the boundary of "banning other men" from your girlfriend, is based upon insecurities.(Girl hooking up with another guy)

The boundary itself.....exists because of said insecurity. If there was no insecurities or fears, then no boundary would need to exist.

Comprende? This isn't rocket science.

 

[TheException]

Then you're backtracking...you just implied that rationales mattered but now you say the act itself imputes insecurity. So now is it your position that if YOU, someone who claims to be secure, were to set a boundary, you would be insecure?

It has always been my position.

If I, or anyone, tell a girl they can't have male friends....it's insecurity manifesting itself into action. Period. No need for the Socratic discussion pal.

 

[TheException]

You said yourself if you place a boundary then you will find yourself single at 40 and that this is bad because you want to be married.

Ahhhh.....no.

What I did say was "I don't want to be like you; 40 and unmarried". I just don't need advice from someone who isn't where I want to be when I am their age. It's not a diss persay. Just different outcome goals.

So it is clear you are afraid that you will lose your girl.

Actually sooooo afraid that I put a boundary that she has to sleep next to me every night!

 

[zekko]

I wouldnt have to sit down and tell her not to see other people, because SHE would be the one pushing for it, not me.

Yes, she should be the one to push for exclusivity. The catch is that different people define "seeing other people" differently. That's why it is best to make sure you are on the same page with that.

By having to have exclusivity talks early on and keep analyzing her actions wondering about her cheating, this seems a whole lot more stressful approach.

Danger doesn't mean that you have exclusivity talks when you first start dating. You talk about what exclusivity means when she first brings up the exclusivity talks. It's like if you move in with a girl you talk about what your expectations are: "I'll pay the gas bill if you pay the electric" or whatever. You wouldn't move in together without having that talk.

Exactly, but you will know she has the same values as the relationship develops, you wont have to keep bringing it up and discussing it..

There's no reason to keep bringing it up, it only needs to be stated or talked about once. For instance, my girlfriend pays her own car payment. As obvious as that may sound, we talked about it before she moved in, that she would be responsible for all her bills. We talked about it once and it was done, it's not like I have to keep reminding her every month that she has to pay her own bills.