My story

[HoneyHitter]

Sat down, told her how I wanted it. we walked over to the chair to wash my hair and the first thing she says is "You married?"

I just said no, waited awhile, then said "You?"

You're being too easy, mister NICEGUY!!

Next time say:"Why?Are you looking for threesomes?"

She says "Do you live alone?" I say "yep."

Again: you're being boring by giving her the answers rightaway.

I sit there awhile and then just go for it. I say "We could mountain biking sometime if you're up for it."

Instead of "We could ..." say "Let's go..."

She says "Not in the winter, but yea that would be cool." So I get up to pay, give her the money,

That's alright, because first I will have to teach you some new techniques before we take it to the streets. I gotta take care of a couple a things right now. I'll come and pick you up at closing time. (Keep eye contact ALL THE TIME)

...and wait to see if she may give a phone number or something (cause I'm not gonna ask for it at this point, since she seemed less than interested, like all women are with me). But no phone number, no nothing.

Your expecting her to be a man? Women are like "chicken"!! That's why we call them chicks, don't we? If you don't have the guts...she DEFINITELY won't have the guts! (Unless her hormones are runnin wild, but that's not going to happen if you didn't get on her nerves by challenging her with ****y questions?)

WTF is this? Wouldn't a woman give her number if she REALLY wanted a guy?

Yes, but only if you got her hormones working.
You did not.

I'm not gonna CALL HER THERE. Fuk that.

Why not? It could be very ****y!!

You should really start thinking more about what YOU want. That's what SHE wants in you. If you want to be with her, TAKE HER.

 

[HoneyHitter]

She wasn't the type to have lack of confidence dude. This girl was pretty hot and she was a party girl. She said she goes to clubs all the time and all that. She was decked out in hot babe style. Nah, if she was even remotely interested she would have been at least a little more enthusiastic.

These are EXACTLY the kind of chicks that only go for DOMINANT MALES!!
If she's really a HB, she is NOT going to show interest. She is testing for dominance. You failed her test... today.

 

[HoneyHitter]

Intonation is VERY important. Next time you're sitting there record the whole conversation with a small recorder in your pocket, so you can hear how you sounded to her!

Next time you go there:

Greet her.
Sit yourself down.
You:"You know, I usually don't visit the same hairdresser twice"
SHE:"Why not?"
You:"Especially after how it all went down the other day. But I made up my mind, though."
(she probably forgot, or pretends she doesn't remember)
SHE: "What do you mean?"
YOU: "Nah, forget about it. That haircut you gave me messed up my entire love life! Women were hittin on me all the time, while I was hangin out with my girlfriend."

Improvise and move on to the point where you start saying:

YOU: "Hey, weren't you into mountain bikes (- or whatever its called) ? I am really excited about some cool moves I made up a couple of days ago. It really just happened by accident, and I want to be showing them off to some of my friends. You're into that kind of stuff, aren't you?"
SHE: "Yeah, quite a bit" or "No, not that much"
YOU: ("Well" or "Anyway...", depending on what she answered) I would like your opinion about it."
SHE: "Okay..." and perhaps some blabla that you should simply ignore
YOU: "When are you finished here?"

and go for the "I'll pick you up at..."

 

[Tazman]

It doesn't make any diff anyway dude. I've had countless instances like this where the girl gives some kind of vague "yea, whatever" sort of interest, and nothing ever comes of it when I pop back up. I have had several girls now give me their phone numbers and when I call them, they say "I have a boyfriend." Why the **** did you give me your number then, *****?

Yeah, it can be frustrating. Women do this all the time, hell my sister gave some guy at a club OUR house number when I was still living at home with her and my mother, and she never took the guy's calls, never planned on it.

I asked a girl out that a friend of mine knew, and she gave me the old "I'm too busy" excuse. Following week I see her at a McDonalds with some guy I'd seen around. I saw her look in my direction and when they decided to leave it seemed as if she made the guy walk ahead of her like they weren't together and she passed by and said "hello". I could tell she felt very awkward and I laughed at how ridiculous it was for her to lie rather than say she wasn't interested. I mean, she could've even said she had a boyfriend.

They think they're sparing your feelings by acting like there's some other reason why they can't go out with you. That, and they can't face that kind of confrontation. You figure the chick cutting your hair wants your business so she's going to make BS small talk and/or pretend like you have some kind of shot at hooking up with her.

This is probably why I developed into a sort of misogynist. The funny thing is, it's actually helped me with women when I consider them inferior to myself, lol. Probably a defense mechanism, but hey it works.

 

[InvisibleMan]

Ok Honeyhitter, I think you finally "hit" on something here.

I'm boring. I am one boring son of a bastard.

The funny thing is I made this appointment with this chick 'cause I thought she was hot when I saw here there getting my haircut with someone else. But by the time my haircut rolled around today, I was feeling very shaky this morning. I was feeling like a real AFC. I mean I was nervous, I was down, I was just jittery. I had already given up.

Anyway, yeah I was pretty boring, I have to admit. And during all my experience with the bootcamp, I have been boring. Maybe that's why women don't give a ****. Someone mentioned that earlier, but I kind of dismissed it. I am confident, but not ****y.

Problem: All my life I have suffered from the inability to think on my feet. I mean I was always the guy who could never think of good insults or comebacks when other guys would insult me. You know the drill - in school guys are always insulting each other. I would always be the guy who would say: "Oh yeah? Oh yeah?....well...you big dummy!" or some other lame response. I can't think of clever or funny stuff to say at the spur of the moment like that. I think this may be an indication of a major problem here with me. I am dull.

Any advice on how this kind of stuff can be learned?


- Invisible Man

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Check up search engines for 'lateral thinking' - that's usually supposed to help you think outside the box and in your feet, it was brought up on this board a while back.

 

[InvisibleMan]

OK guys,

I'm not coming across as exciting and ****y. I'm going to go to the mall today to look for some clothes. I'm going to approach as many hotties as I can so any advice on what to say and how to say it would be great. I'm going to make some notes of how my conversations go so I can report back here.

Also if any of you guys have any advice on how I can learn to think on my feet and learn to make ****y remarks about stuff that would be cool too. Thanks.


- Invisible Man

 

[InvisibleMan]

im sorry, WHAT?

WHAT?

you had her.......and yes chicks refer to their female friends as girlfriends, you are a geek for thinking she might have been lesbo. You ALWAYS must initiate EVERYTHING - an interested girl usually won't give her # to you, YOU GOTTA ASK

she told you to call her, thats when you shoulda playfully said "good thing I'm psychic and already know your #",.....she woulda laughed, and then u coulda had her give you her #.

by the way, mountain biking?? why are u offering her mountain biking when its almost winter??? how bout u offer her to go to the beach??

DUDE WTF

you say "lets hang out, have a few drinks" - just like all women love sex, all women also love alcohol, you cannot go wrong with that line.

Ok, OKAY! I F-ed UP! I know I did but I always do that kind of stuff. I can't think quick on my feet like you guys do. I only come up with these witty things like a day later after I've slapped my forehead several times!

Besides dude, I live in Colorado - no beaches here, man. And I don't drink alcohol. I've had enough of that stuff in my 20's when I used to drink every night from being depressed about having no women all the time....I haven't had a drink in 5 years and I'm not about to start again.

Anyway, how do I come up with cool stuff to say to women at the spur of the moment? I think that's a big problem with me. Women find me boring, but I'm not really boring. Anyone that's known me or worked with me for awhile really likes me and I can be real funny. And none of the people that know me well can understand why I have so many problems with this.

I just don't know how to do it right off the bat like you guys do. I mean, I've read ALL KINDS of books on how to get women and stuff, but none of them help you with thinking on your feet. Coming up with ****y stuff to say in a second or two.

I need some DJ dude to hang out with me and tell me stuff and give me pointers. How can I find guys like this and make friends with them without appearing gay? One of you guys ought to go into business teaching and training guys like me. Hell, I'd PAY for some help! I need to go out in the field and be bugged so you guys can listen in the control room or whatever and see what I'm doing. LOL

Yea, I know I f-ed up! I hate myself for it, but I keep making the same damn mistakes - that's why the boot camp thing isn't going so well. ****y/funny, ****y/funny, ****y/funny. ARRRGGGGHHH!


- Invisible Man

 

[kyphan]

Man, you are HARD on yourself. Why don't you just go out and have fun? Flip the "silly" switch and goof off. This is not meant to be so serious! You have to believe in yourself, believe that you're funny, believe you're the man, believe you're not boring, and with that understanding you WILL be that guy.

Stop coming up with replies and situations! Go for it when you see an opportunity. I've turned off/offended many women with my version of humor, and good riddance if they don't get it! It's not the end of the world. There are over 3 billion women on this planet - even if 99.9% of them are not compatible with you, that leaves 3 MILLION. You won't even get the chance to meet them all in your lifetime.

 

[InvisibleMan]

Yea, I know I am the man. I have self confidence. But I walk around in a vacuum. People don't talk to me unless I talk to them first. And I just really don't know how to talk to people. My conversations usually go like:

Me: "Hi"
She: "Hi"
Me: "Nice day, huh?"
She:"Ya"
Me:"Gonna be cold this weekend I hear"
She:"Really?"
Me:"Yep."
Me:"Do you like working here?"
She:"It's okay..."
Me:"Do you go to school?"
She:"No/yes/whatever"
Me: "That's cool."

By this time we're both looking at our watches, and I usually say "see you later."

That's my "opportunity" rolled up in a nutshell right there. That's what happens when I see an opportunity like that chick that was cutting my hair.I don't get any better than that. I don't start getting funny with people until I get comfortable with them, and that usually takes weeks. I'm not the kind of guy who can be funny with things happening around me. I am only funny when I get to know someone and I know what makes them laugh, and then I'm funny when I can point out things that are of common interest to whomever I am having a conversation with. And it takes at least an hour of communicating with a person before I am comfortable at this level.

So in the beginning I am always boring and dull because I don't yet know how to talk to the person in front of me yet. And I don't ever get to the point of being comfortable being witty/funny because women don't give me the chance to get to know me better.

I'm beginning to feel like Clark Griswold in Vacation when he had all these problems taking his family to Wallyworld. He said: "This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much ****ing fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're *******s!"

This is no longer about women. It's a quest. A quest to get a date. See? See how ****in' funny I can be????????!!!!! :crazy:


- Invisible Man

 

[squirrels]

Yea, I know I am the man. I have self confidence. But I walk around in a vacuum. People don't talk to me unless I talk to them first.

So talk to them. Don't try to pawn off responsibility for living your life on other people.

All confidence is is the belief that you are capable of controlling the direction of your life. This thread makes it obvious that you're not at that point of self-faith yet. Saying, "yeah, yeah, I'm the man, I get it" doesn't make it true if you DON'T get it.

You won't get anywhere in life, with women or otherwise, unless you WAKE UP and realize how much POWER you have to CHANGE the circumstances you find yourself in.

There's so much self-negativity in this thread it's no WONDER you're not getting anywhere. This life you're living now...you've CHOSEN it. Choose something else if you want something else.

And I just really don't know how to talk to people. My conversations usually go like:

Me: "Hi"
She: "Hi"
Me: "Nice day, huh?"
She:"Ya"
Me:"Gonna be cold this weekend I hear"
She:"Really?"
Me:"Yep."
Me:"Do you like working here?"
She:"It's okay..."
Me:"Do you go to school?"
She:"No/yes/whatever"
Me: "That's cool."

By this time we're both looking at our watches, and I usually say "see you later."

So what are you going to do about it? You're aware that your conversational skills need to be further developed...are you waiting for someone to say, "that's OK, IM...I like you just the way you are"? You have a problem, you've acknowledged it...now it's time for you to DO something about it.

You're asking closed-ended (yes or no) questions about a hodgepodge of topics and you're not catching a bite. So what should you do to correct this? Do you think listening may help? Asking more open-ended questions? Focusing in on something about HER? Maybe to make it feel like you're talking to her because SHE interests you, not like she's just another vag!na and you're trying to speed through the BS fluff so you can get to asking her out?

Then TRY IT. If you know what you HAVE to do, but you keep doing the WRONG thing over and over again, you will NOT get results. Start changing it up.

That's my "opportunity" rolled up in a nutshell right there. That's what happens when I see an opportunity like that chick that was cutting my hair.I don't get any better than that.

Then START getting better than that.

I don't start getting funny with people until I get comfortable with them, and that usually takes weeks.

Then START getting funny with people earlier.

I'm not the kind of guy who can be funny with things happening around me.

Then START LEARNING to be the guy who can be situationally funny.

I am only funny when I get to know someone and I know what makes them laugh, and then I'm funny when I can point out things that are of common interest to whomever I am having a conversation with.

Then DO it.

And it takes at least an hour of communicating with a person before I am comfortable at this level.

Then START LEARNING to accelerate your way to rapport.

So in the beginning I am always boring and dull

Then STOP being boring and dull.

because I don't yet know how to talk to the person in front of me yet.

Then LEARN to talk to the person in front of you.

And I don't ever get to the point of being comfortable being witty/funny

Then start MOVING toward that point.

because women don't give me the chance to get to know me better.

Because you don't give them a REASON to give you a chance. So start GIVING them one.

I'm beginning to feel like Clark Griswold in Vacation when he had all these problems taking his family to Wallyworld. He said: "This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much ****ing fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're *******s!"

This is no longer about women. It's a quest. A quest to get a date.

Then GET STARTED!

Read the list of things above.

YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THOSE THINGS THROUGH SHEER DESIRE TO SUCCEED.

Do you know why you haven't?

Because you've CHOSEN NOT TO! Instead of working to correct your situation, you have chosen instead to seek sympathy from the Don Juan discussion forum by posting big "I can't! I can't!" threads.

You have defined yourself as one who fails with women...until you decide that it's time to change that self-definition (and you can do this whenever you want), then NO tip or material on this site will get you a date.

There is no sympathy here.

There is TONS of material on www.fastseduction.com and www.sosuave.com that will give you a starting point for learning ANYTHING YOU WANT about picking up women. There is no good excuse for you not being able to get what you want. But you can read it and read it and read it until you know it by heart...and it will be WORTHLESS to you until you decide that YOU ARE GOING TO SUCCEED WITH WOMEN.

Now what are you going to do? Are you going to:

A) Succeed with women
B) Fail with women

Choose whichever one you want, but whichever you choose, you have to STICK by it, ALL THE WAY, or you will never get it. Which means no more making excuses, no more self-deprecating "I" statements, no more negativity.

The choice is all yours...it always has been. If you want a different life, then choose it. NOW.



-------------------

He´s afraid that he could actually succeed.

Unfortunately, this is the honest-to-God truth. He's so used to defining himself as a failure that the idea of success frightens him. If he gets laid only ONCE, then he'll have to admit to himself that:

1) He IS CAPABLE of seducing women
2) All this time, he's been making excuses
3) All this time, he has been RESPONSIBLE for his failure to attract women.
4) All this time, he has been able to LEARN to better attract women, and he has been choosing not to

Most people's egos can't take the shock that comes from realizing that the negative situations that they are stuck in are their own fault and that all the limitations on them in their lives are self-created to protect them from making any changes to their identity, no matter how much happier they would be.

 

[2cirius]

So talk to them. Don't try to pawn off responsibility for living your life on other people.

All confidence is is the belief that you are capable of controlling the direction of your life. This thread makes it obvious that you're not at that point of self-faith yet. Saying, "yeah, yeah, I'm the man, I get it" doesn't make it true if you DON'T get it.

You won't get anywhere in life, with women or otherwise, unless you WAKE UP and realize how much POWER you have to CHANGE the circumstances you find yourself in.

There's so much self-negativity in this thread it's no WONDER you're not getting anywhere. This life you're living now...you've CHOSEN it. Choose something else if you want something else.



So what are you going to do about it? You're aware that your conversational skills need to be further developed...are you waiting for someone to say, "that's OK, IM...I like you just the way you are"? You have a problem, you've acknowledged it...now it's time for you to DO something about it.

You're asking closed-ended (yes or no) questions about a hodgepodge of topics and you're not catching a bite. So what should you do to correct this? Do you think listening may help? Asking more open-ended questions? Focusing in on something about HER? Maybe to make it feel like you're talking to her because SHE interests you, not like she's just another vag!na and you're trying to speed through the BS fluff so you can get to asking her out?

Then TRY IT. If you know what you HAVE to do, but you keep doing the WRONG thing over and over again, you will NOT get results. Start changing it up.



Then START getting better than that.



Then START getting funny with people earlier.



Then START LEARNING to be the guy who can be situationally funny.



Then DO it.



Then START LEARNING to accelerate your way to rapport.




Then STOP being boring and dull.



Then LEARN to talk to the person in front of you.



Then start MOVING toward that point.



Because you don't give them a REASON to give you a chance. So start GIVING them one.



Then GET STARTED!

Read the list of things above.

YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THOSE THINGS THROUGH SHEER DESIRE TO SUCCEED.

Do you know why you haven't?

Because you've CHOSEN NOT TO! Instead of working to correct your situation, you have chosen instead to seek sympathy from the Don Juan discussion forum by posting big "I can't! I can't!" threads.

You have defined yourself as one who fails with women...until you decide that it's time to change that self-definition (and you can do this whenever you want), then NO tip or material on this site will get you a date.

There is no sympathy here.

There is TONS of material on www.fastseduction.com and www.sosuave.com that will give you a starting point for learning ANYTHING YOU WANT about picking up women. There is no good excuse for you not being able to get what you want. But you can read it and read it and read it until you know it by heart...and it will be WORTHLESS to you until you decide that YOU ARE GOING TO SUCCEED WITH WOMEN.

Now what are you going to do? Are you going to:

A) Succeed with women
B) Fail with women

Choose whichever one you want, but whichever you choose, you have to STICK by it, ALL THE WAY, or you will never get it. Which means no more making excuses, no more self-deprecating "I" statements, no more negativity.

The choice is all yours...it always has been. If you want a different life, then choose it. NOW.

This is all fine advice but full of platitudes and big talk and no real concrete theory. Any guy can just say "just do it" but if a guy doesn't KNOW HOW to do it, then that advice is worthless. He obviously is trying, but that is leading to more frustration. IM said he DOESN'T KNOW HOW to talk to women, and doing it is obviously not helping him. He gets on the horse and keeps falling back off.

And there is no advice on this website or anywhere else for that matter on how think quickly on your feet. Conversational skills are decisions that are decided in a SPLIT SECOND by the brain. I don't think it can be learned or taught.

I don't know how to teach anyone to think on their feet, or be witty or ****y. Like I said in an earlier post, I think it is an ability that must be learned early on, or forever lost.

It's easy to just say "well START DOING IT." I mean come on, what kind of advice is that? Obviously he's doing it, but HE'S DOING IT WRONG in some way.

And think about it. How many other normal guys out there have the same kind of skill with women that many DJs on here have? You guys that even TALK about this stuff are so rare. Most guys live in the dark about this kind of stuff their whole lives. THEY HAVE NO CLUE and are married or henpecked by some nasty fat woman.

Invisible Man already has a tremendous advantage over most men just by KNOWING about some of this stuff. I don't see him as "pawning off responsibility on other people." Where did that come from? Haven't you ever felt frustrated in your life about anything?

I say go and have some conversations at the mall (malls are GREAT places to meet women) and report back and tell us about 'em so we can "coach" you. Try to remember exactly what you say and what she says and your demeanor, appearance, and all that and tell us about it.

It may be like a muscle. Your "social" muscle is so weak right now that you can hardly move it. But keep talking to those women and try to keep your brain thinking about something witty/funny to add. When women ask you a question, YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER IT. Think of something outside the box!

The only thing he CAN do right now is try. And that's what he's doing.

~~~~~~2cirius~~~~~~~~

 

[squirrels]

This is all fine advice but full of platitudes and big talk and no real concrete theory. Any guy can just say "just do it" but if a guy doesn't KNOW HOW to do it, then that advice is worthless. He obviously is trying, but that is leading to more frustration. IM said he DOESN'T KNOW HOW to talk to women, and doing it is obviously not helping him. He gets on the horse and keeps falling back off.

As I said, he's got www.sosuave.com and www.fastseduction.com that will tell him how to talk to women. Yet there's been 7 pages of posts and no progress.

And there is no advice on this website or anywhere else for that matter on how think quickly on your feet. Conversational skills are decisions that are decided in a SPLIT SECOND by the brain. I don't think it can be learned or taught.

No it can't, unless he goes out and DOES something.

It's easy to just say "well START DOING IT." I mean come on, what kind of advice is that? Obviously he's doing it, but HE'S DOING IT WRONG in some way.

No he's NOT doing it. If he's convinced he's going to fail, everything he does is an attempt to fail...what he's doing is intentionally screwing himself up because success is not in his self-concept. If you're convinced you're going to fail, talking to girls is just another step toward failure.

And think about it. How many other normal guys out there have the same kind of skill with women that many DJs on here have? You guys that even TALK about this stuff are so rare. Most guys live in the dark about this kind of stuff their whole lives. THEY HAVE NO CLUE and are married or henpecked by some nasty fat woman.

Invisible Man already has a tremendous advantage over most men just by KNOWING about some of this stuff. I don't see him as "pawning off responsibility on other people." Where did that come from? Haven't you ever felt frustrated in your life about anything?

I've felt frustrated about MANY things. But I take responsibility for being in that position and work toward moving to the position I want to be in. I used to be like everyone else, posting these, "I don't understand! Help me SoSuave!" posts, but then I realized that I HAD all the answers, and the ones I didn't have were in the DJ Bible posts, etc...I was just not allowing myself to succeed.

I'm in a drought right now. I'm very frustrated with that...yet I realize it is entirely MY fault for not applying myself and CHOOSING to be successful.

 

[2cirius]

As I said, he's got www.sosuave.com and www.fastseduction.com that will tell him how to talk to women. Yet there's been 7 pages of posts and no progress.

There's been 7 pages of posts because everyone has some damn opinion or other and they're mostly all different.

No it can't, unless he goes out and DOES something.

He said he's approached about 30 or more women in the last month. I'd say that's something.

No he's NOT doing it. If he's convinced he's going to fail, everything he does is an attempt to fail...what he's doing is intentionally screwing himself up because success is not in his self-concept. If you're convinced you're going to fail, talking to girls is just another step toward failure.

I don't know if he's convinced he's going to fail. I don't see how anyone would willingly put themselves through that kind of frustration. At least he's trying.

I've felt frustrated about MANY things. But I take responsibility for being in that position and work toward moving to the position I want to be in. I used to be like everyone else, posting these, "I don't understand! Help me SoSuave!" posts, but then I realized that I HAD all the answers, and the ones I didn't have were in the DJ Bible posts, etc...I was just not allowing myself to succeed.

I'm in a drought right now. I'm very frustrated with that...yet I realize it is entirely MY fault for not applying myself and CHOOSING to be successful.

A bird can CHOOSE to fly, but it ain't gonna happen if his wings are clipped.

As I said before, I don't see Invisible blaming WOMEN for his problems, or anybody else.

All I know is that what works for one guy MAY NOT work for another guy. That should be point number 1 in the DJ Bible. The subtleties and complexities of the dating game and the way the human mind works is so complex as to be nearly unfathomable.

There is so much conflicting info on this site that it is absurd. Many guys on here have said women do not approach men and you ALWAYS have to take the initiative. I know for a fact that this is utter bull****. I have women coming up to me all the time and I'm not that good looking. I know PLENTY of women that take the initiative, and all my friends say they were the one who was approached by their partner, not the other way around.

You also have a bunch of guys in here that are of pretty different ages giving advice to a guy who is 36. What works for a 25 year-old MAY NOT work for a guy 10 years older. At 36 you can't get as much success at clubs (you certainly should NEVER go alone - unless you're super-confident and friendly). You can't go around boozing and drinking and smelling of alcohol like some stupid college-age kid, or taking a few shots of vodka to "pump up your nerves."

Personality also has a LOT to do with it. If you are introverted, you cannot all of a sudden become extroverted and ****y/funny without it coming across as disingenuous.

Yes, there are a LOT of CAN'Ts in life. Get used to it.

If the DJ Bible and all that worked for you, great! Good for you! If the answers were in yourself all the time, though, why did you have to come here?

If a guy has issues approaching and has no success, isn't coming here to get feedback what this website is all about?


~~~~~2cirius~~~~~

 

[squirrels]

He said he's approached about 30 or more women in the last month. I'd say that's something.

He can approach 1000 women. If he believes he is going to fail, he will FIND a way to do JUST THAT. He's even cited examples of WIDE OPEN shots he's had and he's rejected HIMSELF.

Yes, there are a LOT of CAN'Ts in life. Get used to it.

You go ahead and live that life if it makes you happy. I used to...and I've NEVER gotten used to it. Damned if I didn't try.

If the DJ Bible and all that worked for you, great! Good for you! If the answers were in yourself all the time, though, why did you have to come here?

If a guy has issues approaching and has no success, isn't coming here to get feedback what this website is all about?

That's exactly what I did...gave him feedback. Explained why what he was doing ISN'T working and how he can fix it.

 

[kyphan]

He said he's approached about 30 or more women in the last month. I'd say that's something.

With each one he's tried the same thing, which has not worked. The problem is not approaching, it's the execution, and until IM tries something different he will almost always get the same result.

I don't know if he's convinced he's going to fail. I don't see how anyone would willingly put themselves through that kind of frustration. At least he's trying.

I know people who willingly put themselves through hell. He's trying - and he refuses to take the time to learn how to create interesting conversations. Each conversation is like the last, another hum-drum encounter.

A bird can CHOOSE to fly, but it ain't gonna happen if his wings are clipped.

I do not remember IM stating that he has a mental handicap that prevents him from learning.

All I know is that what works for one guy MAY NOT work for another guy. That should be point number 1 in the DJ Bible. The subtleties and complexities of the dating game and the way the human mind works is so complex as to be nearly unfathomable.

There is so much conflicting info on this site that it is absurd. Many guys on here have said women do not approach men and you ALWAYS have to take the initiative. I know for a fact that this is utter bull****. I have women coming up to me all the time and I'm not that good looking. I know PLENTY of women that take the initiative, and all my friends say they were the one who was approached by their partner, not the other way around.

The information may contradict itself in areas: that's because life is not so simple, you're right. In this situation we know IM is not doing a good job of being interesting or funny, which are two things any person can learn. I was not very funny in high school, but boy has that changed.

I still think IM is too busy trying to get a date and not trying to have fun. Women don't want to go on dates, women want to have fun. Go have fun, go create fun, and the women will follow.

Personality also has a LOT to do with it. If you are introverted, you cannot all of a sudden become extroverted and ****y/funny without it coming across as disingenuous.

Yes, there are a LOT of CAN'Ts in life. Get used to it.

If the DJ Bible and all that worked for you, great! Good for you! If the answers were in yourself all the time, though, why did you have to come here?

If a guy has issues approaching and has no success, isn't coming here to get feedback what this website is all about?

Our personalities are determined by ourselves. Have you ever dated someone who "changed?" Their personality changed, and that also means we can change our personality. It's not a flip of the switch, it's dedication. That's what this whole site is about, though - dedicating oneself to becoming a man and changing our personal philosophy on life. It's not about tactics and tricks, it's much bigger than that. There are no "CAN'Ts" in life unless you become truly specific: anyone here can learn to date a model, make millions of dollars, speak Arabic and Chinese, and shoot 90% from the free throw line.

Did you know Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team? He's the greatest shooting guard ever, possibly the greatest scorer ever. He was not born with the talent, he developed all the skills necessary to dominate - his genes simply gave him the foundation for the mind and body he would need, the rest he did on his own. We all have the foundation to achieve pretty much anything, we just have to learn how and go out and do it.

 

[d9930380]

I think while everyone is ripping on you is because YOU made a potential success with a honey into a failure. Now, you may look at that as a bad thing but I don't - it shows there is NO reason you shouldn't be able to get these girls except the fact you have gotten into a rut in life where you have closed yourself off from people and therefore fear the worse. Someone else mentioned Social Anxiety Disorder or something. It's got nothing to do with them or you (looks/money/etc), just the state of mind that you have found yourself in - you expect to fail and therefore you do. Confidence ONLY comes from experience, you can't fake it, that's arrogance and girls HATE that and see right through it.

You need better social skills, not with girls, just with people in general. You need to feel you can be free to say, think what you want. If someone annoys you call them on it, tease people, offend people. Don't give a ****! That doesn't mean you have to be a bastard - just a secure person who doesn't need the love of everyone because that will gurantee the love of no-one. People who just agree with everything or show no confidence to disagree are boring. Girls like to fight every now and again, they need to have a guy they can argue with. The reason you can't think of a witty response is that your too offended and therefore focusing on that. You're shellshocked because you can't believe he said that, you think he/she's a bastard. You're bottling up your anger and then releasing it in the gym - at least your not turning to drugs or drink. You need to roll with the punches and loosen up and through some yourself.

Keep at it - It will be hard but it's worth it. BTW - Find some social clubs you can join just so you can have experience talking with people in a non-professional setting, I know you don't have much time but you know you need to work on your body, now realise you need to work on your social skills.

 

[InvisibleMan]

I totally agree. It is PROOF POSITIVE that people -- WOMEN -- see you as a completely normal man (nooooo shyt, as if they wouldn't have!!) There's no "curse" at work. You're probably just some technically/technologically acute but socially BLIND computer geek, who simply does not notice the social dynamics that are occurring all around him.

OK Danielz, and d9988380, I appreciate it. But what makes you guys think she was "into" me? Because to me she was just making small talk. I mean if this girl kind of liked me, then I've missed a LOT of opportunities, 'cause I've had a conversation like this with quite a few women. I just think it's small talk, and they are being polite. I mean she wants me to come back and get my haircut again right? So she's just being nice? I don't see it any other way.

I've also had conversations like this with women, and when I ask them out they tell me they have a boyfriend. This is why I am so confused. I don't see anything about this encounter that she was attracted to me, 'cause it always happens this way. I don't know how to read signals. In the DJ articles, they talk about eye contact, touching, hair flips, smiling all that, but I never get any of this. So what would give you the idea that she was "into me?" This is really no different from any conversation I have with women, and they always reject me when I ask them out. So why would I think she's "into me?"


- Invisible Man

 

[squirrels]

OK Danielz, and d9988380, I appreciate it. But what makes you guys think she was "into" me? Because to me she was just making small talk. I mean if this girl kind of liked me, then I've missed a LOT of opportunities, 'cause I've had a conversation like this with quite a few women. I just think it's small talk, and they are being polite. I mean she wants me to come back and get my haircut again right? So she's just being nice? I don't see it any other way.

I've also had conversations like this with women, and when I ask them out they tell me they have a boyfriend. This is why I am so confused. I don't see anything about this encounter that she was attracted to me, 'cause it always happens this way. I don't know how to read signals. In the DJ articles, they talk about eye contact, touching, hair flips, smiling all that, but I never get any of this. So what would give you the idea that she was "into me?" This is really no different from any conversation I have with women, and they always reject me when I ask them out. So why would I think she's "into me?"


- Invisible Man

It doesn't matter if she's into you. You should be GAME ON until you KNOW for a fact that she's NOT.

 

[Paradox]

Type in Virgin in the search box and there are at least 3 large 40 year old virgin threads. There is plenty of good advice in here and in those threads.

I'm closing this one.