Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Just Witnessed a girl laugh at some Dude who tried to approach her

SW15

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So I'm sitting in the mall having my coffee, there is a cute girl in tight black yoga pants. She's sitting down while her friend is ordering food on the other side of the food court.

Here is where i witness a slightly chubby guy walking up to her, for some reason he is swinging his arms as he walks and looking sttaight at her. She sits down and he tried to mumble something to her.

She let off a loud "oh" sound, and started laughing at him.
He put his head down and walked back to his friend and they walked off together.

Cold approach can sometimes be brutal, lesson learnt from this. Wait for women to give you IOI's/Choosing Signals before you approach them.

Also focus on projecting confident body language and tone when you approach.
This guy made 3 mistakes, all of them before the actual approach.

He didnt correctly assess his SMV.

He didnt get himself in shape.

He didnt realize how things work nowadays.
@Who Dares Win got it right. This is a guy who is a sub 5 SMV (likely a 4) trying to approach a 6-7 woman. A woman who is 6-7 on looks thinks she wants a 7-8 guy. He's a 4. That's a big gulf to try to address. He'd need to have a lot of money and a lot of confidence to make up for that. His approach was not confident.

Signals help a lot and I like to look for them, but in an era of technological immersion, they are more difficult to get. There is a justification for approaching without signals but it is always going to be a more difficult approach.

I never had that happened to me and with due respect I disagree that you have to wait for a signal to act upon it.

You have a lot of girls who are shy are won't even make an eye contact because she's shy but when you approach her she opens up.

Also most women check out guys when you're not looking straight into her so you never know your chances unless you approach her.
I've gotten annoying/total horseshiit reason rejections but none as flat out rude as what @Georgepithyou described. I am reasonably good looking so that helps. I'm not at the level that a lot of guys in here would call Chad level though.

This reminds me of something I witnessed at a shopping centre a few years ago. I was sitting with some friends and a guy we knew (a very fat guy) went up to some girls at another table and said something to them. They weren't too brutal but looked shocked and he came back to our table. Someone asked him "what did you say" and he said something along the lines of that he told them he wanted to have an orgy with both of them.

When he left, one of the guys said "I wouldn't have said that" and someone else said "I wouldn't have said that to a 14 year old".
The fat guy probably would have gotten rejected with any line but the threesome/orgy line was going to be too much. A 6'4" former college athlete white guy couldn't have even gotten away with that as an opener. The only positive that can be said about the fat guy's approach is that he showed massive confidence.
 

King Lion

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If you know how to read them, you don't have to wait forever. Once you learn it, it's easy to spot them.


I'm not interested in trying to create something from nothing. It's too much work. It's easier to find an interested girl and then talk to her and to escalate the interaction rather than trying to create attraction from her.

I'm with @Pook and @Anti-Dump on this matter.
BRAVO.

What should be common sense is unfortunately for some - not so common.

"Cold approach" is some beta bullsh*t - I mean really tho - Can a guy ever make it more obvious he's a simp that likes putting a female on a pedestal?!?

Cold approach will risk getting a "cold" reaction.

Warm approach from a female otoh will get a warm reaction from most guys because the female desires it - Which benefits the man nearly everytime - because she has made her interest known!

It's like self defense - The best way to drop an aggressive adversary is to let them make the first move towards you - They end up doing half the work of bridging the gap - which you can easily counter with an intercepting attack.

In like fashion, the easiest way to cop a female is when she does more or less the same thing - Acting upon her interest and letting you know she's interested by bridging the gap - so you can counter her with a Mack attack!
 
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Romanemp22

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I admire your courage, better spend it to something productive. Chasing girl that wont even notice you or no your existence are complete waste of time..

With girl its always the oppoaite, you wouldnt even knew she exist in the universe, next thing you know shes moving the mountains just so she could be near you and even in some cases retaliate back to you if you ignores her.

From my true experience.
No girl will chase you first to meet you no matter how good looking you may be unless you are celebrity like Ronaldo or James, referring to good looking girls.

The thing when you bang her and she chase you that's a whole different thing.
 

BMX

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Well women should be thr ones chasing in the first place, who was it that decided men have to be the ones to chase? In the animal kingdom a lot of the time the females are the ones that chase. Like with male bees, they exist just to reproduce while the females do all the work.
Sounds great. Like I said, I'll be handing out the rejections left and right. I will continue flexing on all these b*tches as the world burns around me this year. I made it. I planned long-term for success, probably not any of them. And I don't need ANY of them.
 

apotheosis

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No girl will chase you first to meet you no matter how good looking you may be unless you are celebrity like Ronaldo or James, referring to good looking girls.
that's not true at all (unless i've miss-understood you)

I have a really good looking wingman, and i'd say he gets approached and has cute girls hit on him on average maybe 4 times per night in bars etc when we go out (pre covid :()
 

Romanemp22

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that's not true at all (unless i've miss-understood you)

I have a really good looking wingman, and i'd say he gets approached and has cute girls hit on him on average maybe 4 times per night in bars etc when we go out (pre covid :()
In my town and country in general, some women may think a bit too much of themselves and it's just a cultural thing for a man to be the one who is approaching.

Ofcourse I'm not generalizing for the whole globe as I don't know how things works in other parts of the world.
 

Atom Smasher

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I never had that happened to me and with due respect I disagree that you have to wait for a signal to act upon it.

You have a lot of girls who are shy are won't even make an eye contact because she's shy but when you approach her she opens up.

Also most women check out guys when you're not looking straight into her so you never know your chances unless you approach her.
The thing is, though, that you can train yourself to detect even the most subtle, barely visible IOIs. The vast majority of men fail to realize this.

Just as an example, a shy girl who is interested will look at you a lot and will turn away almost instantaneously when you look her way.

ALMOST instantaneously.

What is visible to the man is her head still moving away from having just looked at you. When you see this a few times, you should know you have a solid IOI to work with.

Think of anything in life you have gotten good at. In that field, you have developed over time almost a 6th sense for things that you never existed before you started. These nuances were invisible to you before you started to excel at it.

I’m convinced that most men are blind to the nuances and clues that women convey, so they assume there is no interest. Then these men run around trying to generate or manufacture interest with women who genuinely have no interest, and are thus constantly rejected.

If I had the time, I would love to create some kind of course for men that addresses recognizing IOIs. I know that many men would benefit by having their eyes opened to seeing what is currently invisible to them.

I would say to anyone who is intrigued by my assertion, go out there and consciously look for tiny signs that could indicate interest. Use my example above to start. If you see two or three times that a girl looks like she has just turned away from looking at you, stop your inner dialogue and approach her immediately.

Look for other signs, like smiling, preening, proximity, signs of nervousness, the good old standby of playing with her hair, and hair-flipping (jerking her head rapidly ostensibly to shake her hair out of her eyes). Those are just a few off the top of my head. Like anything in life, you can develop a 6th sense about it if you consciously and conscientiously apply yourself to study and experimentation. You can get your rejection rate close to zero if you learn the art of recognizing IOIs.

COLD approach is creepy and stressful for all parties concerned, and it has the unfortunate disadvantage of exposing all your cards and being judged by her as worthy or unworthy while you’ve demonstrated that you’ve fully accepted her. You’re a beggar.

WARM approach is the way to go. You have met halfway on the acceptance scale and all you need to do is turn up the heat.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Well women should be thr ones chasing in the first place, who was it that decided men have to be the ones to chase? In the animal kingdom a lot of the time the females are the ones that chase. Like with male bees, they exist just to reproduce while the females do all the work.
It never has and never will work like that. It's the male's job to approach. The woman will chase once she has had sex with and wants to be with the man...and it is important to allow her to chase.
 

corrector

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So I'm sitting in the mall having my coffee, there is a cute girl in tight black yoga pants. She's sitting down while her friend is ordering food on the other side of the food court.

Here is where i witness a slightly chubby guy walking up to her, for some reason he is swinging his arms as he walks and looking sttaight at her. She sits down and he tried to mumble something to her.

She let off a loud "oh" sound, and started laughing at him.
He put his head down and walked back to his friend and they walked off together.

Cold approach can sometimes be brutal, lesson learnt from this. Wait for women to give you IOI's/Choosing Signals before you approach them.

Also focus on projecting confident body language and tone when you approach.
Suppose you almost never get IOIs or choosing signals? You said it was a fat guy. Why would you expect him to get that often enough if he is getting that type of reaction now? That is not the lesson.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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lol same. I've had some pretty bad things happen in the past through no fault of my own. Not like I was some uncalibrated weirdo when i approached or anything. It's just the way some girls are, especially in certain cultures. (and I did get laid some too)
I live in the UK (where it seems that talking to strangers is already considered a bit weird compared to the US)
I also live in a slightly 'chavvy' violent area.
Par the course.

It's what I describe about going through the fire. You come out of the other side 'something' else. You transcend.

When you put into perspective that game, specifically cold approach is sales, the numbers are explainable. You are hard stopping stranger and sticking your **** in her ass and mouth. Lmfao people are belligerent to the paper boy and girl.

I once smiled at a girl through a window (hot girl seemed to be by herself) and was about to approach her when her GIANT of a boyfriend turned up out of nowhere (some black guy. About 6ft 8?) who had a crazy look in his eye and was close to caving my head in for looking at his girl lol
Usually, it's just a matter of explaining. She is cute. I am single. Most guys are chill but you still better keep your hands up. The sentiment should not need explanation but the goal is girls needless to say. Not throw hands. Regardless, use common sense. 1/4 women are crazy. A nutty bf and a woman who is excited by the guy kicking off is recipe for disaster.

Another time I opened a really hot girl in the street and said ''hi! I like your hat'. She was nice, but her fat friend immedittely freaked out like 'Why are you talking to her!!? You don't know her! **** off!! she's out of your league you ugly prick!!'' bla bla bla. Ended up in me strangling some white knight who jumped in to be a hero as me and her were arguing (I told her she was too ugly to be so rude and that she was jealous of her hot friend getting attention and she freaked out and tried swinging at me, so when I held her off, some skinny little dude jumped in so I had to throttle him)
Mother bird lulz. Usually fat, unattractive, and angry. Tyler talked about the secret society. The women get it. Few dudes who pull do. The few women who are not in the party are angry feminists and extremely hardened.

Let me add, after getting past noob status of AA, the intermediate level is competence. I argue that, most guys are stuck in intermediate levels because they over analyze and micro manage everything. Advanced, you are smooth and easy to understand how krass some women are but you control the controllables. You take your shot. You pull more but shooting your shot is King. The best part is that, I haven't had any outrageous or dangerous scenarios outside of a few. Most guys are cucked. Most of the time, the fear is unwarranted but it kept civilization alive since we left the cave eons ago.

Another time some hot girl danced super close to me despite there being tonnes of room on the dancefloor, so I took this as an IOI. Danced up on her and she PUSHED me as hard as she possibly could lmao. Was so embarrasing!

Another time my friend who lives in a much nicer area was visting me for the night and he approached 2 really hot teens who were seated, and he got a ****ing brutal rejection lol. He was so shocked!! haha

There's lots more. Nightgame in the UK can be brutal unless you're blessed with very good looks
I do that. Pro tip, by assuming the following, it gives you permission to approach. Assuming attraction and approaching as you would had you already went balls deep.

Every set is practice. It's never champions league final.
 

SW15

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COLD approach is creepy and stressful for all parties concerned, and it has the unfortunate disadvantage of exposing all your cards and being judged by her as worthy or unworthy while you’ve demonstrated that you’ve fully accepted her. You’re a beggar.

WARM approach is the way to go. You have met halfway on the acceptance scale and all you need to do is turn up the heat.
Which approaches are considered cold and which are considered warm? I've typically used the term "cold approaching" to describe all approaches of women who are strangers to me.


The thing is, though, that you can train yourself to detect even the most subtle, barely visible IOIs. The vast majority of men fail to realize this.

Just as an example, a shy girl who is interested will look at you a lot and will turn away almost instantaneously when you look her way.

ALMOST instantaneously.

What is visible to the man is her head still moving away from having just looked at you. When you see this a few times, you should know you have a solid IOI to work with.

Think of anything in life you have gotten good at. In that field, you have developed over time almost a 6th sense for things that you never existed before you started. These nuances were invisible to you before you started to excel at it.

I’m convinced that most men are blind to the nuances and clues that women convey, so they assume there is no interest. Then these men run around trying to generate or manufacture interest with women who genuinely have no interest, and are thus constantly rejected.

If I had the time, I would love to create some kind of course for men that addresses recognizing IOIs. I know that many men would benefit by having their eyes opened to seeing what is currently invisible to them.

I would say to anyone who is intrigued by my assertion, go out there and consciously look for tiny signs that could indicate interest. Use my example above to start. If you see two or three times that a girl looks like she has just turned away from looking at you, stop your inner dialogue and approach her immediately.

Look for other signs, like smiling, preening, proximity, signs of nervousness, the good old standby of playing with her hair, and hair-flipping (jerking her head rapidly ostensibly to shake her hair out of her eyes). Those are just a few off the top of my head. Like anything in life, you can develop a 6th sense about it if you consciously and conscientiously apply yourself to study and experimentation. You can get your rejection rate close to zero if you learn the art of recognizing IOIs.
In my freshman and sophomore years of college (2001 to 2003), I began reading about IOIs. I began to start to look for IOIs at that time. In my experience, IOIs have changed. Quite simply, I've gotten fewer of them since the late 2000s. My IOIs didn't change much from 2010 to 2019. Over the years, I've looked for even the slightest IOIs.

White and Hispanic women in the Millennial generation (and likely Gen Z) are poor signalers. I only speak for them because those are the types I attempt to approach the most. Most of them got immersed in technology pretty early. I started seeing fewer IOIs around the time that smartphones got really popular. I started seeing more women wearing earbuds to grocery stores around 2015-2017 and also more women playing with their phones when out and about, both during the day and night.
 

samspade

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She let off a loud "oh" sound, and started laughing at him.
He put his head down and walked back to his friend and they walked off together.
Yeah, that's all on him. It's only brutal if he lets it be brutal. There are a million other ways to respond besides putting your tail between your legs.

EDIT, still good he approached. Remember to enjoy the flameout, fellas. All part of the fun.
 

Rocnavy

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So I'm sitting in the mall having my coffee, there is a cute girl in tight black yoga pants. She's sitting down while her friend is ordering food on the other side of the food court.

Here is where i witness a slightly chubby guy walking up to her, for some reason he is swinging his arms as he walks and looking sttaight at her. She sits down and he tried to mumble something to her.

She let off a loud "oh" sound, and started laughing at him.
He put his head down and walked back to his friend and they walked off together.

Cold approach can sometimes be brutal, lesson learnt from this. Wait for women to give you IOI's/Choosing Signals before you approach them.

Also focus on projecting confident body language and tone when you approach.
Lol he was acting like a big kid walking up to her swinging his arms oh well he needed that maybe next time he gonna approach a woman directly with his head held high. But I give him credit for attempting.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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And how many of those were you able to convert into dates? It's all fine and dandy to approach but if you get nowhere, well what exactly is the point?
The frame is low T. I don't date.

I pull or I next. Blow me or blow me out. Comply or bye.

I picked up a college girl at the gym who was trolling a Manlet. I called her ass out. She apologized to him. Said she had been joking around and gave her number. Age 21.

I woke up the next morning to a text that read, "my lady parts are sore! "



If mass cold approaching has been working for you, why are you still single?
When you have options and more importantly, you can source women 7-10yrs or more younger than you, why the **** will you play house?

Your not doing it right kuz!

I would argue that your approach sucks but, even more detrimental than whack game, you got trash frameworks for casual dating.

I am hyper critical of inner game but the issue is inner game.

80% of divorce is initiated by women. High kill count, feminist indoctrination, STDs, abortion and you still have a Disney life mindset.

In my life, I have never met a woman who is worthy of my name let alone a call back. The SMP is a dumpster fire. Not play house.

Get past AA. Seek competence. Post back. After!
 

EyeOnThePrize

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The thing is, though, that you can train yourself to detect even the most subtle, barely visible IOIs. The vast majority of men fail to realize this.

Just as an example, a shy girl who is interested will look at you a lot and will turn away almost instantaneously when you look her way.

ALMOST instantaneously.

What is visible to the man is her head still moving away from having just looked at you. When you see this a few times, you should know you have a solid IOI to work with.

Think of anything in life you have gotten good at. In that field, you have developed over time almost a 6th sense for things that you never existed before you started. These nuances were invisible to you before you started to excel at it.

I’m convinced that most men are blind to the nuances and clues that women convey, so they assume there is no interest. Then these men run around trying to generate or manufacture interest with women who genuinely have no interest, and are thus constantly rejected.

If I had the time, I would love to create some kind of course for men that addresses recognizing IOIs. I know that many men would benefit by having their eyes opened to seeing what is currently invisible to them.

I would say to anyone who is intrigued by my assertion, go out there and consciously look for tiny signs that could indicate interest. Use my example above to start. If you see two or three times that a girl looks like she has just turned away from looking at you, stop your inner dialogue and approach her immediately.

Look for other signs, like smiling, preening, proximity, signs of nervousness, the good old standby of playing with her hair, and hair-flipping (jerking her head rapidly ostensibly to shake her hair out of her eyes). Those are just a few off the top of my head. Like anything in life, you can develop a 6th sense about it if you consciously and conscientiously apply yourself to study and experimentation. You can get your rejection rate close to zero if you learn the art of recognizing IOIs.

COLD approach is creepy and stressful for all parties concerned, and it has the unfortunate disadvantage of exposing all your cards and being judged by her as worthy or unworthy while you’ve demonstrated that you’ve fully accepted her. You’re a beggar.

WARM approach is the way to go. You have met halfway on the acceptance scale and all you need to do is turn up the heat.
The only thing I would add is that cold approaching doesn't have to be creepy. You can simply talk to network, honing social skills and providing a larger window for IOIs, you don't have to go straight for trying to pick her up. Worst case scenario she's not interested and you've made a connection.

@Georgepithyou
The chubby guy is still making progress by having the balls to take his shot in the first place. She could have fuucked his brains out, he'd never know til he said something.

There's nothing wrong with cold approaching, it makes a keen guy smoother. If a guy has 500 rejections under his belt he's more likely to have adapted and become smooth af compared to someone waiting for obvious IOIs. The rejections don't even phase him, like others have said, he's numb to it.

Going out for the sole purpose of trying to get lays is foolish, but if you see hotties on your path in life you lose nothing by chatting them up.

If you haven't strayed off your path then you lose nothing by being rejected. In fact you gain insights about her, yourself, and socializing in general.
 

Rocnavy

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You saw her but she didn't saw you (she running to work for example), you wait for signals? She's already gone. Doesn't make sense, sorry. Usually this "wait for signals" thing is for guys who are afraid to approach when it's risky, they approach but only if it's comfortable, they fear rejection (not saying it's your case though).
Why would approaching a girl who didn't send signal or didn't saw you be a waste of energy and time? Are you exhausted after an approach? how long does it usually take? 5mins? It's actually the opposite, you'll get better at approaching women. You see a girl you like, you just go talk to her, that's it.

If waiting for signals works for you, fine, but you miss good opportunities I think.
They scared to approach women cause they dont wanna risk the rejection. Like come on when you go apply for a job you taking a chance of them rejecting you so with women its no difference.
 

Bigpapa

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Well women should be thr ones chasing in the first place, who was it that decided men have to be the ones to chase? In the animal kingdom a lot of the time the females are the ones that chase. Like with male bees, they exist just to reproduce while the females do all the work.
In all the animal kingdom the male does the chasing , except a few exceptions
 

Rocnavy

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You said it. For example, I went to the mall today, There was a really hot girl working in a store, she was with her colleague. I approached her and I knew I would be rejected. She rejected me, it was not nice.
So what? I have no regrets. I did what I had to do.
Thats ok at least you tried but there is always that one woman around the corner thats gonna say yes.
 

r4zorsharp

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cold approach is only brutal to weak men. i'm sorry to say it.

i've b een slapped by women, had women call me ugly.. say **** like "are u good? ud ont look good" anda ll.. but dude, did ic are? no. because the same bitches made sour faces when i was banging their friends, sometimes in the same apartment they were in while they had to sit in the living room on their phone .. that **** must suck!

listen, alot of women who do **** like that are hurt women, or bitter. don't worry about it..

some women do **** like that just becuase they can and they don't really have empathy. lets face it, not everyone is empathetic. men shouldn't complain about it.. we should hold ourselves with more callousness and masculinity.. words are words man.. seriously.

when you approach a woman to try and hit on her, or get something from her, she reserves the right to say whatever she wants. its up to you to work your way around it or not back down. either way man, gotta have style and energy... when you got the right energy, a woman can tell you anything, and be surprised when it doesn't work against you. that's when she starts seeing you as valuable instantly.

I give you this example: I was in a smaller nightclub, I was next to a group with a hot white skinned latina chick. I thought itd be funny to sneak a drink from her water while she was turned. so i did, and she caught me.. and said "you can't do that, thast mine".. and i just casually said "oh" and continued to drink it. that's when her demeanor changed from talking down to me like i was a child who did wrong to seeing me as a man who is more powerful than her. safe to say, i caught her attention, we flirted a bit, and she was a great flirt too, she had alot of games to throw at me.. i got past all them, and ended up smashing, and none of her friends ****blocked me. she even stopped dancing with me at a point to dance with another guy.. didn't matter because she went home with me. was a great night
 
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