I Watched My 65 Year Old BP Father Fail a Sh*t Test...

[Westminster]

... and it was blatantly apparent why I had such a hard time with women until I unplugged. It wasn't even really a sh*t test, it was just outright disrespect and he apologized to her for it.

This man, who lovingly raised me, led me so far astray with women that I was a coin toss away from being a 30 year old kissless virgin. I have to admit, I still hold a bit of anger towards him for leading me down this path of inceldom, but it's a little reassuring to know that it wasn't for any lack of caring - it was just his outright ignorance. It was a little relieving to find that my lack of success with women wasn't entirely my fault; that I was handicapped from the start; that I wasn't just some defective 20-something.

Apologies for the small rant.


Dads, do your part and teach your sons the ways of women.
Teach them how to recognize - and pass sh*t tests.
Teach them to talk and flirt with girls regularly, even just for skills maintenance; have them watch you do it.
Teach your sons to lift, and how to eat right.
How to set, chase, and achieve goals.

Don't let your sons grow up and see you as a fat, misguided incel whose married to a post-wall overweight harpy. It's not fun to pity the man you once wanted to be.

Sorry, I'm curious here and trying to understand the situation, but what was this sh*t test/disrespect?

These things can take many forms.

 

[The Duke]

Normally in such a house, the mother always dictates everything and the father/husband is only a blurred shadow of himself (a typical matriarchy family, if you will). However, in this case, we see the opposite: A house, albeit "full of women", still governed, managed, fed, provided and led by a true alphamale, and every single one of them female member of such house is submissive and compliant. A patriarchy family at its absolute best.

Normally in such a house, the mother always dictates everything and the father/husband is only a blurred shadow of himself (a typical matriarchy family, if you will). However, in this case, we see the opposite: A house, albeit "full of women", still governed, managed, fed, provided and led by a true alphamale, and every single one of them female member of such house is submissive and compliant. A patriarchy family at its absolute best.

So you are saying a true alpha male is a dictator? There's a difference between submissivness/compliance by force or due to leadership. I think there were some things missing in that household as BE has stated several times over the years. I don't see dictatorships being very effective. That was the descriptor that was used.

 

[BeExcellent]

Want to start a support group?

This IS the support group

 

[Dr.Suave]

@BeExcellent, have you ever considered running for political office? Serious question. You have a remarkable talent for turning every discussion into a conversation about yourself.

"The devil you know" is better than an unknown quantity. I would vote for her all day.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I would vote for her. The devil you know is better than an unknown quantity.

I'd vote for her too. From what I can glean from her posts, her political views are probably similar to my own and her narcissism would actually be a benefit if she was running for office. She'd be a female version of DJT.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I'd vote for her too.

Her kids are all grown up, she doesnt have to worry about money because she already has it, and she is uninterested in pursuing post-graduate degrees...She should go into politics, most of SoSuave would back her and vote for her.

 

[manfrombelow]

So you are saying a true alpha male is a dictator? There's a difference between submissivness/compliance by force or due to leadership. I think there were some things missing in that household as BE has stated several times over the years. I don't see dictatorships being very effective. That was the descriptor that was used.

BENE-FVCKING-VOLENT dictator, as per @BeExcellent

 

[SW15]

@Money & Muscle --Your father failing shiit tests at age 65 from your 60-65 year old mother doesn't much matter directly for him anymore. His wife isn't going to leave him. Your father and mother finished raising all their children to legal adulthood. They'll just have a mediocre to subpar marriage until one of them dies.

The only impact that your father being a basic blue pill ideology beta male has had is the example it set for you and any possible brothers you may have.

 

[manfrombelow]

The answer is yes, but its not something that interests me because I'd rather network and influence outside the system.

Please understand something. I am a bit of a curiosity. Here and elsewhere. I am an outlier. People ask me questions, at times very pointed questions and people try and unseat my confidence, insinuate and insult at times because they are trying to correlate their belief system with things that at times don't agree with the belief system. They are seeking to reconcile things that *seem* incongruent.

I relate stories that might be useful to someone. You are welcome to put me on ignore.

That's OK.

This is a male space and boys will be boys; men will be men and there are boys here trying to develop into men. I get that and respect that. And I get alot of shade at times. That's cool.

View attachment 12188

What does this pic mean? I don't get it.

 

[BeExcellent]

What does this pic mean? I don't get it.

If your dad worked on cars or other projects and needed light to see whatever it was he was trying to see, and if he needed an extra set of hands because he couldn't hold the light to illuminate what he was doing and at the same time do the task....as the kid in the household you were also the unpaid labor. So you'd get conscripted to literally hold the flashlight to help your dad.

And because you were a kid your hands might shake or you might start daydreaming or you'd get bored and the light would not be where your dad needed it.

So he'd get frustrated and start yelling at you or berating you etc. because here he was up under an engine or something and now he cannot see to get the job done.

So it's literal, if a little redneck. And you couldn't be upset or start crying or get your feelings hurt because there was a job to do and it was your job to hold the light source so your dad could do it.

I went through this more times than I can remember. It made you tough as a kid, it made you develop a thick skin.

Thoughts @The Duke? Or does that sound about right?

When I first saw that as a meme I nearly fell over laughing. Hell. I thought I was the only one, LOL

But ya. Its literal.

 

[BeExcellent]

Ok y'all. @Dr.Suave and @Bokanovsky I appreciate it. But actually I am still raising a 15 year old who needs to finish high school, I would get run over by feminists and Metoo people and the whole woke community and inclusionists and the proverbial baby would get thrown out with the bath water.

I'm too prone to saying what I think to be viable in that arena. You have to be a great brown noser and suck up to be a successful politician and I would not do well kissing ass, even if only as a short term thing.

DJT is a billionaire. He can self fund to a great degree and avoid the sucking up to constituents to a great degree. And he is hated for that because the power brokers who hold the real power like watching the politicians suck their figurative djcks to get elected. And then they expect favors for their blessing and financing. It's a very dirty business.

DJT being in power was a great big middle finger to much of that power structure, and that is why DJT is being demonized, indicted, held off the ballots etc. He dared to fight the system head on and the shadow people are going to see to it he is summarily crucified.

No thank you. I'll stay on the edges and find another way.

 

[BeExcellent]

What was the shjt test @Money & Muscle ? Apologies for all the digressions.

 

[The Duke]

If your dad worked on cars or other projects and needed light to see whatever it was he was trying to see, and if he needed an extra set of hands because he couldn't hold the light to illuminate what he was doing and at the same time do the task....as the kid in the household you were also the unpaid labor. So you'd get conscripted to literally hold the flashlight to help your dad.

And because you were a kid your hands might shake or you might start daydreaming or you'd get bored and the light would not be where your dad needed it.

So he'd get frustrated and start yelling at you or berating you etc. because here he was up under an engine or something and now he cannot see to get the job done.

So it's literal, if a little redneck. And you couldn't be upset or start crying or get your feelings hurt because there was a job to do and it was your job to hold the light source so your dad could do it.

I went through this more times than I can remember. It made you tough as a kid, it made you develop a thick skin.

Thoughts @The Duke? Or does that sound about right?

When I first saw that as a meme I nearly fell over laughing. Hell. I thought I was the only one, LOL

But ya. Its literal.

And most of the time the anger wasn't a result of the flash light holder doing something wrong as it was frustration with mechanical projects that don't always goes right. It taught thick skin and to not take schitt so personal. You might bear the burnt but it's not always about you. As a result you learn empathy for someone else's frustrations.

 

[The Duke]

BENE-FVCKING-VOLENT dictator, as per @BeExcellent

Wtf?

 

[Divorced w 3]

OP, daddy issues aside I appreciate your bleeding out here.

I think there is something sorely missing in the general approach men take now. Men especially who buy into the political and social narrative that their wives and women should control more of the narrative on the direction of the financial and strategic direction of the family.

It did admittedly take a little rust removal but when you assess your life and what you make and contribute to it, you have all the confidence in the world to tell whomever, whenever, how the fvck you plan on being.

Anyone who ever burnished a gun in my direction if I was taking their daughter out, I’d assess on a case by case basis. John Wayne was a great actor.

 

[Money & Muscle]

What was the shjt test @Money & Muscle ? Apologies for all the digressions.

No need to apologize.

I spoke to my dad on the phone. Not about anything specific, just life and catching up (we live a few thousand miles away). Apparently my mom was listening to the conversation - not that anything was being said which she should not hear.

My dad asked how our daughter was doing and what her diet is like as she's a competing gymnast. I gave him the basics, then talked about how I was trying to teach her the right things about food; that it's neither her enemy (bulimia/anorexia concern) nor her escape (disordered eating>fat concern). Apparently even discussing The topic of eating in an unhealthy manner was too much for my 75lb overweight mom to handle. It was not even about her, it was about me and my daughter only.

So apparently my mom goes cold and gives my dad a whole bunch of sh*t about doing martial arts like a decade ago, complaining that she never had the opportunity to do this. Mind you, she **never** would have done this regardless, nor is exercise the thing she needs to stop being fat. She just eats like sh*t (both of my parents do, they're both fat and i had to break the mold).

My dad texts me the next day asking me to not even discuss the topic of eating healthy if my mom is present. It sounded like she got outright disrespectful and he instead is asking me to tiptoe around her sensitive topics... so *anything* related to eating properly or exercising, apparently.

 

[SW15]

Apparently even discussing The topic of eating in an unhealthy manner was too much for my 75lb overweight mom to handle. It was not even about her, it was about me and my daughter only.

Why didn't your dad lay down the law about your mom's weight? Shouldn't he have left on the basis of her being no longer sexually attractive? He could have set a boundary about her weight loss in a given time frame.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Why didn't your dad lay down the law about your mom's weight? Shouldn't he have left on the basis of her being no longer sexually attractive? He could have set a boundary about her weight loss in a given time frame.

How much does 50% of his net worth in retirement equate to on a quality of life basis?

 

[SW15]

How much does 50% of his net worth in retirement equate to on a quality of life basis?

Fair point. That's probably why a lot of husbands aren't as stringent on the wives' weights as I think they could be.

I'm a never married, childless guy who hasn't lived with any girlfriends. When my relationships end, the endings are not messy at all.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Fair point. That's probably why a lot of husbands aren't as stringent on the wives' weights as I think they could be.

I'm a never married, childless guy who hasn't lived with any girlfriends. When my relationships end, the endings are not messy at all.

I know a couple right now, guys going to lose half his pension and his assets to his ex wife. Retired gang crime New York cop.

so fvcked. He’s going to have to change states in retirement. All that time away from family, dealing with so much garbage, only to get stabbed in the back by the one you did it all for.

You have to deal with it at some point. If his dad is this old just take her out on the weekends and then on the side during the week take out the side piece.