I think my wife is insane

[The Unforgiven III]

I need some help here guys, as I'm seriously contemplating divorce. Arguments with her are completely irrational and her anger is so disproportionate to the situation sometimes I really do think she is crazy.

Yesterday she told me I was in a bad mood all day long and that she was walking on eggshells around me. Here's the thing - I wasn't even home yesterday. I tried telling her this, and she wouldn't acknowledge it. I saw her for a total of maybe 25 minutes. She made me a salad, I told her it was great, then I took the garbage out and left with a buddy. During our brief interaction, I wasn't upset, nor was she. There was no tension in the air whatsoever. I don't understand how it's possible that she arrived at this conclusion when I came back home about me being in a bad mood. She was upset for 3 hours about this. Silent treatment and all. It just baffles me.

Then today we received a phone off eBay. It had a lot of scratches on the cover, so we decided to send it back. She wanted to make sure it worked and I told her "What's the point? We're going to send it back because of the scratches." She demanded that I make sure it worked. She said angrily "Does the phone work!? Put it on the charger!" So I took the phone back out of the box and put it on the charger. I then come back into the room and she sees me holding the empty box and says "What are you doing?? Pack it up! I thought we're returning it!" I told her "You just told me to put it on the charger! What is wrong with you!?"

She proceeds to get all upset and tells me I'm playing mind games with her, which is exactly what she's doing to me. Then she picks up her cell phone and calls her sister, trying to pit her against me. After doing that, she walks over to the next door neighbor's house and does the same. Her anger lasted 5 hours over this. Now she acts like nothing happened and asked if I wanted her to pick up anything at the store.

If I tell her she's being manipulative, she tells me I'm being manipulative. If I say she's being controlling, she tries to convince me that I'm the control freak. This has been going on for years. Sometimes I find myself questioning my own sanity.

Any ideas on what's going on here?

 

[Tictac]

If she hasn't flipped. She's gaslighting you.

Study up.

Google 'gaslighting' and go from there.

 

[penkitten]

does she have multiple personalities?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Why in the WORLD would you marry her if she has been doing this for years?

Aside from her delusional thinking, are there any other weird, strange, odd behaviors that she displays?










PIMP

 

[Dalshtröm]

She is either a total insane or an englightened person who is just playing with you. But most of marriage ends up that way anyways.

 

[Dalshtröm]

By the way, I forgot the: ....


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DALHSTROM


I like that and I find it funny. Thank you Pimpy for the idea.

 

[foreverAFC]

does your wife smoke a lot of meth ?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

By the way, I forgot the: ....


.....

.....



......
DALHSTROM


I like that and I find it funny. Thank you Pimpy for the idea.

Haha!! No worries bro, its the signature approval that puts that extra "oomph" on each post!









PIMP

 

[The Unforgiven III]

Her mother died when she was 9 and she was sexually abused when she was 14. She claims she has PTSD after a woman choked her in a work related incident 10 years ago, and prolonged grief syndrome as well. She's fascinated with the afterlife and tells me all the time that she gets these "feelings" about things. She refuses to watch the news because some stories to her are so upsetting she will lose sleep over them.

Our mail lady became sick last year and had to go to a nursing home. My wife would use vacation time and take care of her all day long, 3 times a week. I would find .txt files on our computer of pages and pages of notes on exactly how she needed to be cared for.

My wife also has insomnia.

 

[Hustlaz Ambition]

Her mother died when she was 9 and she was sexually abused when she was 14. She claims she has PTSD after a woman choked her in a work related incident 10 years ago, and prolonged grief syndrome as well. She's fascinated with the afterlife and tells me all the time that she gets these "feelings" about things. She refuses to watch the news because some stories to her are so upsetting she will lose sleep over them.

Our mail lady became sick last year and had to go to a nursing home. My wife would use vacation time and take care of her all day long, 3 times a week. I would find .txt files on our computer of pages and pages of notes on exactly how she needed to be cared for.

My wife also has insomnia.

The....****?

 

[Vidrio]

Her mother died when she was 9 and she was sexually abused when she was 14. She claims she has PTSD after a woman choked her in a work related incident 10 years ago, and prolonged grief syndrome as well. She's fascinated with the afterlife and tells me all the time that she gets these "feelings" about things. She refuses to watch the news because some stories to her are so upsetting she will lose sleep over them.

Our mail lady became sick last year and had to go to a nursing home. My wife would use vacation time and take care of her all day long, 3 times a week. I would find .txt files on our computer of pages and pages of notes on exactly how she needed to be cared for.

My wife also has insomnia.

Damn dude... No offense but why the fvck would you marry someone with all these issues? Literally every single sentence you wrote is a red flag.

 

[The Unforgiven III]

I didn't know about all these issues until after I married her. I told her she should consider therapy, and she told me I have no right to judge her and that I needed therapy because I'm the one with mental issues.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Her mother died when she was 9 and she was sexually abused when she was 14. She claims she has PTSD after a woman choked her in a work related incident 10 years ago, and prolonged grief syndrome as well. She's fascinated with the afterlife and tells me all the time that she gets these "feelings" about things. She refuses to watch the news because some stories to her are so upsetting she will lose sleep over them.

Our mail lady became sick last year and had to go to a nursing home. My wife would use vacation time and take care of her all day long, 3 times a week. I would find .txt files on our computer of pages and pages of notes on exactly how she needed to be cared for.

My wife also has insomnia.

I was thinking it when I read your initial post, but didn't want to say it until I had more info from you.

Your wife most likely is suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. Not sure if you have heard of that before, but you should Google it and look at the DSM criteria for characteristics of the disorder.

Personality disorders are much harder to treat because unlike mood disorders (where a chemical imbalance is usually to blame); personality disorders are faulty thinking patterns that the person has learned to cope with the pain they feel inside themselves & survive.

While people can improve with consistency therapy, the biggest hurdle is getting that person to admit they have a problem in the first place and it seems like you are already finding this out.

Lastly with all due respect, I do believe you when you say you didn't find out about a lot of the other issues until after you were married, but I am 100% certain there were SEVERAL red flags prior to this that you either ignored or rationalized.










PIMP

 

[ArcBound]

Smack her

 

[Checkmate12]

Whatever you do.... DELETE YOUR BROWSING HISTORY TONIGHT!!!

 

[cordoncordon]

Her mother died when she was 9 and she was sexually abused when she was 14. She claims she has PTSD after a woman choked her in a work related incident 10 years ago, and prolonged grief syndrome as well. She's fascinated with the afterlife and tells me all the time that she gets these "feelings" about things. She refuses to watch the news because some stories to her are so upsetting she will lose sleep over them.

Our mail lady became sick last year and had to go to a nursing home. My wife would use vacation time and take care of her all day long, 3 times a week. I would find .txt files on our computer of pages and pages of notes on exactly how she needed to be cared for.

My wife also has insomnia.

I can tell you she is BPD at the very least, and it sounds like a very bad case of it. Claiming sexual abuse, work related 'incidents', fixates on strange things, insomnia, can easily become infatuated with something-like taking care of the mail lady, and will go all out when in that 'zone'. But once they leave that zone? They lose interest just as fast. These are all classic symptoms of BPD.

I personally would have divorced her years ago.

 

[iamnobody]

Sounds like a cluster B alright. Nothing can fix her, divorcing her seem to be the sanest choice if you started to question your own sanity.

 

[like2jam]

She needs professional help. Sadly, probably some serious medication, at least for a while. But first she needs a decent diagnosis.

 

[Dalshtröm]

Her mother died when she was 9 and she was sexually abused when she was 14. She claims she has PTSD after a woman choked her in a work related incident 10 years ago, and prolonged grief syndrome as well. She's fascinated with the afterlife and tells me all the time that she gets these "feelings" about things. She refuses to watch the news because some stories to her are so upsetting she will lose sleep over them.

Our mail lady became sick last year and had to go to a nursing home. My wife would use vacation time and take care of her all day long, 3 times a week. I would find .txt files on our computer of pages and pages of notes on exactly how she needed to be cared for.

My wife also has insomnia.

Man. First of all. Help her! Don't just leave her and divorce just right now, please. There is no need to go that far, it is just a divorcement where you are written in a paper.

Give her all the love you have. I know it might be hard but this is the time out if any time to help her. Rather than making her go through another trauma, if you have compassion in you, if you as a human being know how to feel love towards other human being, then please help her. She is already list no need to push her deeper I to the darkness of nightmares.

Rather than divorcing her and running away from her, please as a man take her hand and watch her deep into her eyes, hug her one last very deep hug and take her to therapy. I know you could never hug someone with a deep meaning you don't find attractive anymore. But it is time; maybe for years you have not hugged her with love or maybe not have given her a kiss with love. This time, look within yourself and look very deeply; unroll you find compassion in your being Sony stop searching, and I know for someone so close to you, there must be very much compassion inside you; even tough you might have been enduring her for the last few years fighting with her feeling like she is the worst person alive, but that is simply because of your stupid innocence.

For your whole life, you have had a very low quality of love, a conditional love. You have always loved her just to get something back. You have always expected something back. Everytime you have given her affection, you have expected her to give you love or make you food or clean for you. But this time it's enough. This time make that love the highest possible love there is - she needs it, now more than ever, she needs it. She needs love and not a love of business. That love is not love, just pretension. She has seen it enough, you have also.

This time give her unconditional love, yes, that is the highest. You expect nothing back. Just like a mother loving her son! Her traumas are very deep. She has lost her mother at the age of nine. And being raped just after getting mature from puberty. Have you ever felt the warmness from your mother? The. You must know. And do you k ow what we body goes through all the puberty year? It is just to prepare the young child to be separated for her mother and move I. With a worthy man. And those two are the most important thing for the children. If those two does not success, the child will have trauma for the rest if her life. Here will be constant tension and sooner or later if she is not helped, will she commit auicide. Do you have the wart to prevent that? Do you have the love as a human being to help her? Can you see that ahe has fine through hell for hell whole life.

Now her most beloved person, the mother was take away for her and the body that she was preparing for a man that she wants to spent the rest of her life with - was taken away for her forcefully, raped. You say he lost her mother at the age of nine and she was sexually abuse at the age of foil utters. If you are have any intelligent you will be able to see hat those two points of her life at the most important, and If it is being taken away from her, she will have trauma for the rest of her life. Now if her mother died when she was unconscious, two or three or maybe four years old, she could have had another mother figure, but this mother who showered love on her for nine full years, wih so much warmness. You know the feeling, the warmness of you or mothers heart. Nothing I this whole world is better than that. As she wa starting the hardest part of her life - puberty. Was her most beloved person, most warmest person who would have given the bet support taken away by her - forcefully. That is the first and the biggest trauma of her life. She will need one for the best therapies for this one and even then maybe she won't get over it.

Now she has to suffer the puberty alone. Have you seen young children Geowing up Their puberty years? Twelve thirteen years olds.. They are very sad, quiet, and alone.. The body is using all the energy to make them mature, ther will be much anxiety inside the young one, much anguish, this is the time whe the children needs the warmness of the beloved mother the most. Listen carefully because unroll I open you heart from bottom to top, I won't stop. The children who goes through puberty with the clear trauma of the recent incident of her mothers dead will make it simply hinder times worst. Puberty itself is the hardest time of your whole life and you want to make her go through the pain of losing the most beloved at the same time. Now antbody who goes puberty without the mothers love, will not come out of the puberty mature. She must have been in darkness her whole life.

We might not see it as a big deal, because we no longer see our mother as the most important persons but for the children she is everything. And a children who starts learn about sex, is being abused sexually. That is a deep trauma, a dep wound in her being. If you cannot see her pain, her hell, just in front if you, you are simply an idiot. And she does not need an idiot. She in this whole world, needs the love of the mother the most. Everyone who loses the mother at that age needs the love from her husband more than any other girl.

And you say that she also has insominia. Perfectly expected. Anybody who had problems with the past always has insomnia. The dream reminds the past. Dreams are always the things that you desire deep down. Whatever you desire, if they are not fulfilled in the day-to-day routine, they will appear in the dream. And in this case, she most propably have nightmares.


Now, in this forum there is many idiots. So be careful, don't turn into an idiot. What you should do is give her live and help her, just out of compassion. They twach here not to sow love, but hat is only whe you want to attract someone. This is a different case, you want to help her. In this forum, you will find many guys who are very much against women. They hate them, they want to crush them, rape. We have seen them all, even in this forum. Twy were the guys who were the nice guys, they turn into jerks but then they start to take revenge. First, the women were the most important to them, the once they learn that it is not that way to attract them, they start hating women for what thy have done, they ha mcd no other to blame. There are so many rationalization Rey invent here. Now it is very easy to say that she is insane. That is a vey god rationalization and it gives you power over her, making her an idiot and you the one winos right.

So, if she has some problems with her past, wih her psychology, rather than condeminatjnf her and making her feel worst, rather thandoing that, help her! Why am I bringing this up? Because it is vey common for men who have failed with women to start to hurt them, hating them. Don't be that guy.


She needs love, and unconditional love, the love she received from the mother. Until she gets enough, she will never be satisfied with her life.

 

[Epimanes]

Women are emotional creatures. There for they have a greater chance of being badly effected by anxiety and unsure how to control it. Look into a gsr2 and you can use that device to practice calming techniques. Sometimes anxiety over time can have such a profound effect on you later (its accumulated over time) that your body gets adrenal exhaustion and can no longer keep you sane in bad times. Look up adrenal exhaustion. Anxiety can be so overwhelimg for some people it takes all they have just to get through a day. Seek to understnad your wife.. Her feelings are real to her regardless if you don't understand. Let it roll off your back but show you love her still. Say something that validates her feelings and see how fast she gets over it instead of trying to talk her out of her feelings and get all defensive with logic. Women don't understand logic and men don't understand emotion very well. If your spiritual or christian god commands us to love our wives. (Since we don't do it naturally) and god commands women to respect their husbands (because they do do it naturally). Your wife really just wants you to draw nearer to her even tho she's throwing spears and bricks at you. Dodge the spears and stack the bricks up to rebuild. She's tellimg you with her feelings she's worried.. Full of anxiety.. And is looking to you for direction and love. Women who need to control everything is directly proportional to how insecure they are for what ever reason. Good luck man. I pm'ed you also

P.s. I know all this from personal experience. I been married for 15 years this august and with my wife for 20 in october. Had a lot of up and downs. Some of those downs almost got us divorced. We survived and now we thrive.

Epi

Ephesians 5:13 says husbands love your wives and wives respect your husbands. (Notice how he commanded husband to love first?)

Check out www.ultimatehusband.com and listen to the free audio file they have. Its so powerful in a spiritual way if you believe in god. If not well ignore this part.