So you've lead the horse to water and it won't drink. We are all motivated by different things. It sounds like there is a pretty big difference between your wife and you in regards to the importance of money and looks. Its not as important to her as it is to you?
Maybe you guys are no longer a match for each other?
The tool your wife doesn't have to address the things you are concerned about is desire/personal incentive and only she can provide that.
The desire has to come from her. External incentive is about the only thing you can create, and you can use more dread game to do it.
She is way too comfortable in the relationship. Any time a woman gets too comfortable they get fat, lazy, less submissive, stop doing the things they used to do. They feel they no longer have to impress you. A man has a lot of control over her level of comfort. Afterall, they look to us for security. Comfort comes from feeling secure.
I think you need to readdress some expectations going forward. Tell her the list above that you shared here. Let her know she needs to lose some weight, get off her spoiled azz. At this point she has left you with no choice. She needs to understand that your needs aren't getting met and the relationship won't work if this continues. Ask her if she wants to go back to work, and you can hire a maid to do what she isn't doing around the house.
I had to tell my exwife one time after 12yrs of being together that she needed to lose 20lbs. I told her "If I wanted a fat chic, I would have married one to start with." Straight up dihk comment, but it worked.