I finally dated someone new...

[KarmaSutra]

I thought i had actually learned things when i first came onto this site. Just one date later, and i'm reeling from the carefully crafted bs of a female dj. The woman is 35 years old and still single. She said that she's famous among her friends for "never going to get married". Now, there is nothing wrong with not getting married, but i've noticed that women who are set against marriage always seem to have major intimacy issues and are man-haters. She told me she was engaged last year and broke it off shortly before the wedding day. Who knows what the hell is going on in her mind?

This broad should have been suspect the minute she told you this dumb sh1t. It's instilled from birth that women follow the path of the wedding march. If this bitter cvnt absolutely refuses to marry it screams two important details about her:

1. She's afraid of commitment.
2. She's bitter towards men. ALL men. Everything every assh0le before you did to her you'll pay the price for. Call it a night and let this lady victimize someone else.

No more starting off with dinner dates.

Ah, a revelation! Coffee and a bagel won't break you. Stick with that.

Onto the meat of this post. If i'm going to give you who i really am, it's got to be full PAINFUL disclosure, otherwise, you never get the full and complete picture and you cannot address it accurately. I DO NOT want to reveal anything more about this episode, but no pain, no gain. No secrets here.

When she wrote that "i'm such a cheapskate too" email, she ended it by saying how excited she was for the second date, because we had such a rare connection, but then she was so disappointed when she concluded we were "incompatible". Well, when you haven't fully unplugged from the Feminatrix, when you still have those rose-colored glasses in front of your eyes, you will continue to bite on such tripe. A pathetic stream of oneitis liquid will dribble through you feminized brain and harden into a jelly of futile hope and you will do very stupid things...

So i emailed her one last time and said maybe it was the heat and exhaustion that caused us to have such a bland date. I then told her that our being opposites was a good thing. One can challenge the other where there are differences and wasn't that what she said she wanted in her profile? A man who challenged her? On i went for several paragraphs reasoning why we should not shrink away from our differences but embrace them as ways we could compliment each other. And as for her thinking our individual quirks would drive each other crazy, weren't those quirks precisely what one appreciates about the other? (reference to Robin Williams's monologue in Good Will Hunting). I then told her i had wanted her more and more as the day unfolded, not just physically, but also by the force of her personality and its difference to my own. Her reply was short and to the point, as would surprise none of you. She reiterated very simply that though we had a connection, she did not feel we were compatible. With that, i deleted all of our emails, removed her from my match list, and licked my (self-inflicted AFC) wounds. Guys, i can't tell you how embarrassing and demoralizing it is to relate this to you. It was total failure. Even i was shocked at the stupidity of my actions. It's blindness, brothers. Pure, rediculous, knee-jerk-reaction BLINDNESS that will drive an AFC to do such a thing! I'm a fucking tadpole in this game. I'm like an addict who is out-of-control and i'm starting from the bottom rung of the ladder to recovery. I am a boy in a man's body, "blessed" with good-looks and a strong analytical mind and a few talents and i have nothing to offer women here and now. I am weak and co-dependant. I am calculating, stiff, boring, and lifeless around women. This is my confession. I start from here.

This is the most poignant thing I've yet to read here or on any other forum. Brother, this is why we come here to wrap our arms around you or give you a shoe to the nutts. I think the former is appropriate. The fact that you can come clean sets you higher than the brothers who'll give you the: " Just be yourself dude" lame ass line. You're not a boy growing older. You're a man who had his first encounter with a cougar. It's not shameful to admit defeat. These broads are hard as a crusty booger (and just as useful). Don't plunge yourself down the hole of remorse and guilt. It will only serve to compound your detritise.

This i have not yet experienced for myself, for until now, i have been the very epitome of feminized, questioning, unsure, calculating, following, passive dependancy.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! It gets really tiresome watching guys sulley themselves with regret for what they shoulda, woulda, coulda. What you ned to recognize is that THIS is the time when you stand on your tippy toes and reach for that which is, thus far, unattainable; your self worth. You have it in you. Good that you recognize this is a life lesson and that you want to become that which is much more than just a husk of grey matter and snot. A man who can look in a mirror every day and smile back at himself.

 

[STR8UP]

Anyone see the episode of The Pickup Artist where Mystery observes one of the guys screwing up and says "If you're gonna wreck a room, WRECK IT!"

I love that quote. And that's what guitarman did.

Hey, no harm, no foul though. You lost her during the date. You couldn't do anything to get her back, but at the same time, she already sees you in a bad light, so what do you have to lose?

The only thing you REALLY have to lose is POWER.

Yep, this post is what inspired me to write the "Walk Away" post.

All you did was hand her whatever little bit of power you had on a silver platter.

Do you feel it? that drained feeling? That's the part of you that you handed to HER. Now she's walking a bit taller, a little bit of a spring in her step perhaps, and you are slumped over, depleted.

I'm not criticizing you...quite the contrary. In fact i comment your honesty. I get blown out a lot around here for telling it like it is myself.

All that said I think you are standing on the verge of stepping out of yourself and leaving the pathetic shell behind you. You're AWARE of your mistakes....that's always the first step. I see good things coming your way.....

 

[Latinoman]

Guitarplyr...don't hit yourself that bad. EVERYBODY in this place has failed to close one time or another. I think that the fact that you are "too analytical" is taking the fun away. You have to work on being fun...you obviously have the looks as you obviously attrack women. But you analyze things too much.