DON'T HAVE KIDS until you have an investment strategy that will let BOTH of you not work, or at least, enough for one of you to retire and care for the kid. has to make a LOT of money, to pay for the extra expenses of having babysitters, etc, so the main caretaker (and the other spouse) can take LOTS of brakes from childrearing duties. Don't have more than one kid, ever. the earth can't take what load it now has, ferchrissakes! don't make it worse!
this means that you gotta have an investment that CLEARS 30k a year. I can tell you how to do that on 100k. If you can't save that much in 15 years of working (you being 35) and 10 years of her working (her being 30) then you are among the many having no biz having kids! Get it RIGHT, and save yourself, your spouse and your kids the horror, ok?
If you can clear 30k a year on the investment, and the other spouse can clear 40k a year by working, THEN you can have one kid. otherwise, you have to move to the 3rd world, and run some sort of a net biz. Over there, you and kids can have a pretty nice life on 20k a year, and there's little or no income tax, no social security (15% bite on everybody) So a little biz can do you fine. here, tho, you'd better have a 60k a year CLEAR income, and that means you have to gross almost 100k. that is IF one of you has a job with a FINE medical insurance program, that includes spouse and kids, and a pension after 20 years. The only outfit that does is the FEd gov't. and they won't let you draw the pension until you are 50 years old.
get rid of the money worries, BEFORE you add the kid complication, or you are ruining your life, basically. prices double every 15 years, or worse, and the 1/4 million $ that it takes to raise a kid NOW, is going to be 1/2 millon $ in 15 years, guys. You can retire on much, much less. so that kid is going to keep you beating your head against the wall, for 30 years or more after you could have quit and relaxed.