Are you suggesting that avoiding marriage somehow deteriorates you? It's quite the opposite. Now if you're 40+ and unmarried because you have nothing going for you and no one WANTS to marry you, that's a different story, one that has nothing to do with being 40.FairShake said:
Hello Friend,
If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.
It will be the most efficient use of your time.
And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.
Thank you for visiting and have a great day!
How do you justify getting married?
- Thread starter muscleman
- Start date
Correlation doesn't always mean causation. That's true.muscleman said:
But most 40+ men I know not married aren't doing too well health-wise, physically, mentally, or emotionally. Good women are great to have by your side.
Most people probably get married because they think it will solidify their relationship as well as openly declaring to the world that they are together and will stand by each other 'til death does them part.
It's a beautiful dream that has been typecast by Disney. If you marry the princess then you get to live happily ever after don't you?
Mind you I'm not knocking it. I'm sure that there is a degree of comfort in being settled with someone who is theoretically always there to support you.
This is all sounding more bitter than I mean it to. I truly do support anyone who chooses to get married for the right reasons and I wish them the best of luck. Just remember it takes more Game to keep the woman than it does to woo her in the first place.
It's a beautiful dream that has been typecast by Disney. If you marry the princess then you get to live happily ever after don't you?
Mind you I'm not knocking it. I'm sure that there is a degree of comfort in being settled with someone who is theoretically always there to support you.
This is all sounding more bitter than I mean it to. I truly do support anyone who chooses to get married for the right reasons and I wish them the best of luck. Just remember it takes more Game to keep the woman than it does to woo her in the first place.
txgolf6688
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Unless you are truly George Clooney and are worth millions of dollars, you will find your options limiting as you age. I'm almost 50 and younger women look at me like I'm their Dad. Be realistic about what you have to offer. If you are an average or even above-average chump making $70k a year, you are a dime a dozen. Men suffer from balding, losing hair, wrinkles, weight gain. Also our sperm quality decreases. That's why we have so many autistic kids these days. Most women do not find OLD MEN attractive. Especially old men with a couple of kids ..
By the way, I asked my 27-year-old relative what she thought of George Clooney the other day. Her response - "eww, he's old."
:yes:
By the way, I asked my 27-year-old relative what she thought of George Clooney the other day. Her response - "eww, he's old."
:yes:
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Dear Burroughs,
Some of your thoughts on Patriarchy are extremely interesting....The inevitability of a flow of Wealth to the Female,is one that I have NEVER appreciated before....I am going to consider it at Leisure....Perhaps this IS the deciding factor in the breakdown of Western Supremacy,it is certainly not at all like this in Mainland China!
Some of your thoughts on Patriarchy are extremely interesting....The inevitability of a flow of Wealth to the Female,is one that I have NEVER appreciated before....I am going to consider it at Leisure....Perhaps this IS the deciding factor in the breakdown of Western Supremacy,it is certainly not at all like this in Mainland China!
A
Aalia Nebhan
Guest
My husband and I talked about the probability of getting married, there was far more discussed than how much we loved each other. We discussed relationship, dedication, financial responsibility, increasing a family, church activity, how to deal with issues, and future targets. The main point here: we wanted to be sure we were developing a firm and secure foundation for our upcoming family.
zekko
Master Don Juan
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I think you're suffering from some self limiting beliefs. I started to have similar doubts about becoming an "old man" when I was about your age. This is my experience: Despite what a woman may say about not wanting older men, when they are confronted with an older guy who they find attractive all that stuff goes straight out the window. And I'm talking about girls of any age. Do you think Stacy Kiebler cared about how old George Clooney was?txgolf6688 said:
I'm older than you, but fortunately I still have my hair. A guy in our age bracket really shouldn't have many wrinkles, unless he's a heavy smoker who lives out in the sun. Weight gain is an issue, but that's why you have to battle to stay in shape - takes some self discipline there.
I don't see why a girl should care about sperm quality, unless you're planning on having more kids. I feel like it's a little late in life for me to do that. I'm trying to plan for my retirement, not save for a child's college education and pay for high cost family health insurance.
That's self limiting as well. I also have a receding (receded?) hairline at 28. Tough sh!t. It's actually kind of funny because people have a hard time guessing my age. If they look at my hairline, I look older (can pass for 30). But my face and body (because I take care of it) looks early 20s.GhengisT said:
If your hair issue ever becomes too much, you can either try hair growth products or just shave it. Personally, I roll with a buzz cut year round.
Wow. I joined this site because I wanted to ask honest questions and get honest opinions as a woman and I didnt want to ask men in my real life...but Im deleting my account because this is not a good site. I just spent hours reading stuff and Im astounded by this. All this site is is sexist men feeling entitled to everything.
Marriage is not about power or domination. The worst possible thing people do to screw up marriage is to treat them like a power struggle and not a friendship. The happiest married couples I know are ones where they married their best friend and **** everyday.
I can think of 10 good marriages off the top of my head that fit this description. I highly doubt every marriage is like this that youve seen- you just pick and focus on the things that validate your opinion so you can justify treating women horribly. I know several women who describe your wife exactly (I work with some foreigners) Eventually they got a taste of America and that they didnt need to be slaves...and they divorced their husbands.
I know several men that cheat on their wives though their wives are way too good for them. (And based by topics on this site- Id say the men that frequent this site are this type)
Sure there are plenty of women with low self esteem and who will get with a man who treats them like an inferior, you all marry them and then use it to confirm your already sexist opinion...but a woman who is not like this is not a *****.
Feminism is actually about equality. I believe you are thinking of radical feminism which says women deserve everything and are superior. I dont believe in that either. But I believe men and women should be equal- neither should have more power but work together. I dont believe men should be superior or inferior. Obviously I have the wrong philosophy and nobody will convince me to try to change my man to my superior or inferior and no man here will ever become nonsexist. Why would they? An entire site of other men like them to validate themselves.
Honestly if you believe women are inferior to them, which is the exact premise of this site, there is no use talking to anybody here.
Marriage is not about power or domination. The worst possible thing people do to screw up marriage is to treat them like a power struggle and not a friendship. The happiest married couples I know are ones where they married their best friend and **** everyday.
I can think of 10 good marriages off the top of my head that fit this description. I highly doubt every marriage is like this that youve seen- you just pick and focus on the things that validate your opinion so you can justify treating women horribly. I know several women who describe your wife exactly (I work with some foreigners) Eventually they got a taste of America and that they didnt need to be slaves...and they divorced their husbands.
I know several men that cheat on their wives though their wives are way too good for them. (And based by topics on this site- Id say the men that frequent this site are this type)
Sure there are plenty of women with low self esteem and who will get with a man who treats them like an inferior, you all marry them and then use it to confirm your already sexist opinion...but a woman who is not like this is not a *****.
Feminism is actually about equality. I believe you are thinking of radical feminism which says women deserve everything and are superior. I dont believe in that either. But I believe men and women should be equal- neither should have more power but work together. I dont believe men should be superior or inferior. Obviously I have the wrong philosophy and nobody will convince me to try to change my man to my superior or inferior and no man here will ever become nonsexist. Why would they? An entire site of other men like them to validate themselves.
Honestly if you believe women are inferior to them, which is the exact premise of this site, there is no use talking to anybody here.
^ If you'd like an honest opinion from men, make sure you can take the heat. No one is going to baby you here.
There are jaded men here, sure, but it's usually mid process from afc to dj. It's a phase. The ones who can't get out of that phase are mgtow, so if you think there are 'woman haters' here, you haven't seen anything yet.
Anyway, here's where you WON'T get any support if you're looking for it: men and women are not equal, they are different (and complimentary). Men are better at some things and women at others. If you don't realize or can't appreciate these differences, you will never see eye to eye with any man worth his weight.
There are jaded men here, sure, but it's usually mid process from afc to dj. It's a phase. The ones who can't get out of that phase are mgtow, so if you think there are 'woman haters' here, you haven't seen anything yet.
Anyway, here's where you WON'T get any support if you're looking for it: men and women are not equal, they are different (and complimentary). Men are better at some things and women at others. If you don't realize or can't appreciate these differences, you will never see eye to eye with any man worth his weight.
I am thankful you told me what you think is the absolute truth. I think you are right to an extent. My sister is a horrible cook- took cooking classes and still is bad. Her husband is Italian and is an awesome cook- he cooks for the family. Her husband is terrible at math so she pays the bills since she works at a bank anyway she gets it done faster and she does alot of controlling of the money because she manages finances better (its her job). They are both 100% happy with this I am sure. The husband is not harboring resentment and he shows his masculinity in other ways. It seems these things most men on this thread would argue against- these characteristics are so superficial and silly.
My other sister married a guy I would have had no doubt would have never ever cheated on her- he was so devoted to her. My sister got bored with the relationship even though it was ideal and wanted thrill sex not attachment with a different guy. (She admitted this to me after she had two one night stands and said it had nothing to do with him). Men on this thread say only men do stuff like that and not women. I know several women that have married men "they could leave in 30 seconds" and keep at an arms length.
There is no absolute in life.
This thread, looking at the name, is for macho men. Trying to argue with you to be equal is of course, completely pointless. I just posted your response on another relationships/dating site that is catered more to equality and Ive already had a bunch of people respond and tear your argument apart.
People ultimately seek out what they want to believe.
I think what Im arguing for is more equality in power. I dont believe women are inferior to men like the majority of men on these boards do.
My other sister married a guy I would have had no doubt would have never ever cheated on her- he was so devoted to her. My sister got bored with the relationship even though it was ideal and wanted thrill sex not attachment with a different guy. (She admitted this to me after she had two one night stands and said it had nothing to do with him). Men on this thread say only men do stuff like that and not women. I know several women that have married men "they could leave in 30 seconds" and keep at an arms length.
There is no absolute in life.
This thread, looking at the name, is for macho men. Trying to argue with you to be equal is of course, completely pointless. I just posted your response on another relationships/dating site that is catered more to equality and Ive already had a bunch of people respond and tear your argument apart.
People ultimately seek out what they want to believe.
I think what Im arguing for is more equality in power. I dont believe women are inferior to men like the majority of men on these boards do.
thebiggestpimpever
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prove itMalice said:
If by 'equality in power' you're referring to the literal definition of being able to get another person (or group of people) to do your bidding and help your personal agenda, then I can readily point out many ways in which women are, on the whole, a LOT more powerful than men in Western society. It's actually the premise for this post. Once you sign a legal document, as a man, you really gain very little (statistically in most cases you LOSE a lot) and risk having your life completely destroyed, all for some notion of love which has nothing to do with daddy government.AmberBug~ said:
Also, what you'll find here is NOT popular opinion, quite the opposite. There are bunch of 'those guys' here. The 'jerks'. The ones you complain about to your girlfriends and but end up sleeping with anyway. The 'macho men' you speak of. So it's no surprise that it would be ripped apart elsewhere by both men and women. It's to be expected. I have a blog, I frequent other sites, and I know exactly what you're talking about.
So like I said, if you want a typical run of the mill ball-less feel good response, the world is your playground. If you are open to something a bit more dramatic however, then you've come to the right place.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
yo know what... i was going to answer this post with a thought out response.. but you know what.. **** that lol. i don't have to justify ****. I love my wfie and I like being married. I'm happy. that's enough justifcation for me.
do you know how much **** we do on a normal basis that we can't justify? how many guys in this thread bought a new car in the last 2-3 years with a perfectly fine car they already had.. you couldn't justify that siht. you probably even got a higher car payment. you didn't have to justify buying your car. how about going clubbing every weekend. justify that. there is no perfectly justifiable reason to be partying every weekend. how many of you live in house that is too big just so you can pat yourself on the back. how many of you run to banana republic every time you have a new date
how many of you like to drink very often? what about smoking weed? can you justify that? how can you justify spending 15 hours a week in the gym (i do that myself). that's too much time for a normal person to be in the gym. how many of you have sons or daughters out of wedlock? justify that.
you can't.. and nor should you have to.
this argument rem inds me kinda of atheists who go on the offensive attacking religion to covery up their defense in the fact that they are shaky ground, at least some pf them, as it is about their faith. I mean, if you don't want to be married i assure you i'm not going to talk you out of your decision. but don't sit here and tll me i have to justify **** beucase i don't, nor should you have to justify any number of things that you do on a normal everyday basis that put a smile on your face.
do you know how much **** we do on a normal basis that we can't justify? how many guys in this thread bought a new car in the last 2-3 years with a perfectly fine car they already had.. you couldn't justify that siht. you probably even got a higher car payment. you didn't have to justify buying your car. how about going clubbing every weekend. justify that. there is no perfectly justifiable reason to be partying every weekend. how many of you live in house that is too big just so you can pat yourself on the back. how many of you run to banana republic every time you have a new date
how many of you like to drink very often? what about smoking weed? can you justify that? how can you justify spending 15 hours a week in the gym (i do that myself). that's too much time for a normal person to be in the gym. how many of you have sons or daughters out of wedlock? justify that.
you can't.. and nor should you have to.
this argument rem inds me kinda of atheists who go on the offensive attacking religion to covery up their defense in the fact that they are shaky ground, at least some pf them, as it is about their faith. I mean, if you don't want to be married i assure you i'm not going to talk you out of your decision. but don't sit here and tll me i have to justify **** beucase i don't, nor should you have to justify any number of things that you do on a normal everyday basis that put a smile on your face.
B
BeDJ
Guest
Too much anger. I understand your reasoning, but you are exaggerating the living sh*t out of your examples. As with the posters prior, marriage is a greater risk than that of a return.backbreaker said:
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
lol angry for what. i have committed, hot, classy and loyal wife who would do anything for me.BeginningDJ said:
you are pulling a muscleman. you are assuming that your stance is the higher ground and that somehow everyone in the thread has to answer for taking the lower ground, and all i am saying is that's not the case.
I mean, the **** just gets ****ing old. i said this a few weeks ago, I just want to be able to do my thing in peace. i dont' have to justify, explain, rationalize anything i do to anyone. muscleman can slay 30 women in the next 2 weeks if that's what he wants to do. i won't tell him he's no good or he doesn't have any ambition or any goals, if that is what he or you or anyone else wants to do, do it.
i mean,s hit we opened this new seciotn of the site, just to get away from the "so... why are you married" questions that we got bombarded with every other ****ing day in the mature man section, and now you just bring the **** over here. I'm just sick of answering the same ****ing questions over and over again. this sub section is a section for people who are marreid to talk bout married people problems, not to bash peole for getting married.
then, it's like, we have the same ****ing conversations over and over again, like here
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=198634&page=4
or here
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1892119&postcount=2
then, once you fizzle out of that, you just go to a difference battleground and say the same **** over again. i explained myself quite ****ing thoroughly in that post. does that post read like someone who is "angry" no it doesn/t.. but having to ****ing repeat the same **** over and over again is making me angry lol.
that's why i'm pissed. it has nothing to do with me being angry. this **** is just getting old. i could very well go on a tangent on half of the guys on this forum who are lazy bumbs who have somehow convinced thsemlves they deserve princesses, who would rather ***** about not having money that some guys have but are too lazy to go out and get it themselves but i don't. I don't ***** at the "i don't believe in material things" crowd i let them be. that's where they are in their life. this is where i am in my life and i'm happy with where i am.
i'm just sick and ****ing tired of having to "answer for myself' every ****ing week.
Going out to a club/bar (want to bang new girls), smoking weed (want to relax), buying a new car (want to drive fast), buying a big house (want to live like a king) ... yea, these things are wants vs. needs.backbreaker said:
As for 15 hours in the gym (or your chosen area of exercise), that's actually not even enough for the human body to function optimally based on the how the human machine is designed, but that's a different topic. Lots of exercise has plenty of unassailable justifications.
..... BUT .....
There's one major, MAJOR difference between marriage and everything else you mentioned. A marriage has statistically above a 50% chance of failing AND, statistically, above a 50% chance of ruining your life. None of those other things do.
So when I say how do you justify marriage, I should probably clarify in these terms (based on statistics, exceptions are not the rule):
How do you justify signing over at least half your sh!t, arbitrarily assigned alimony with no tracking for children you'll probably never see and you had BETTER pay it or go to jail, risk losing way more on a whim if she decides you abused her, forced sex upon her, or some other number of trumped up charges, be forced to give up your house so she can live in it with her new boyfriend while you're out on the street paying for HIM (these are true stories), and so on ... all in the name of .. love? Well, if that's your justification, then so be it.
Let me put it another way. How do you justify buying a new car if it has above a 50% chance of blowing up the next time you start it?
I'm not saying a happy marriage is impossible, as some people seem to have it on lockdown (allegedly RT and yourself), just that's it's highly improbable, and that if you DO get married, you better 'own her fvcking soul' like RT puts it and have properly screened her for a very long time through thick and thin.
You are right- women do hold the power in marriage. I dont plan to exploit my future husband. I do understand why men are deathly afraid of this. As a woman I know how greedy most are. But there are some women not like this out there- however I am almost 30. I am also not like the list of women that are described on the "tips section" of this site. I do not crave an emotional rollercoaster- men who did that to me really honestly irritate me. I am not desperate for marriage. I would say I am nurturing and women do tend to be, but I am not in any way super emotional. I am fascinated by the sections of this site that describe how to get women. I think most men on here want trashy women. Because when they describe all the things they should do upon meeting a woman on this site, I would be turned off by many of them. I may met several men who have done this stuff (I wonder if they belong to this site?) and I found them ungenuine, kind of sleazy and I did not trust them.muscleman said:
I have a high sex drive and with my past bf's unless they did something super super mean (which usually led to me breaking up them anyway...) I never withhold sex. Women that withhold sex over stupid crap are just shooting themselves in the foot and I understand why some husbands complain over this. I know many happily married men but they are ones where they get frequent sex and they hold the same values and some interests of their wives so they are provided with good emotional support and companionship. Really a marriage is about give and take...someone in a relationship will be more dominant due to personality. But if one is giving and giving and the other is taking and taking- that is dysfunctional to me. A woman who is a slave to her husband and does everything a guy could want, with her husband that takes and takes, then goes and ****s around and says its not morally wrong and its in his genes- dysfunctional marriage to me. But of course a man who does this will justify every single thing he does and says its a womans place to be inferior...those who feel superior love the taking and taking from another and think they deserve it (this is not gender specific either)
So many 'jerks' like you describe on this site.