So I recently had sex with a female friend. I was in the friend zone for 3 years at least. Pretty deep in the friend zone. This girl used to say that she would never ever hook up with me. I "wasn't he type etc". She once said that I "have a .0001% chance with her and even if i was the last guy on earth I still would not get it". She would call me her buddy etc etc. I mean I thought I had no chance in hell. Well it happened and I learned a few things from it.
1.) Not all friend zones are created equal. Some girls don't **** you becuz you are repulsive but some don't **** you because they actually look at you with respect. After we had sex she told me that one of the reasons that she didn't do it is because she looked at me as nice. Nice meaning a good person. She didn't mean nice as not sexual. I have a reputation in the friend circle for being overtly sexual and for sleeping with a decent amount of girls. She has met some of my plates. What she meant was a decent guy. Many women don't want to soil a good hearted guy with their "dirty" sexuality. Most women attach a deep sense of guilt to sex. Even if they are *****s they can recognize a person that has a good soul. If she doesn't necessarily view herself as pure she will not want to contaminate the relationship with messy sex.
2.) Women admire good men. While they may not have sex with a good hearted alpha, they do respect them. In the manosphere we wrongly assume that just because a women admires you that she will have sex with you. The real world is slightly more complicated than that. That admiration is often a barrier to sex. If she admires you then it is because you exhibit rare traits like kindness, listening, bravery all in one package. She can count of you to be her rock. Why would she risk losing such a good guy in her life? Most men are not good people. You are the rare good person in her life. You are that light in a sea of darkness. Many girls will not want to risk that. She said the following
---- " what if we have sex and I catch feelings?" = She knew how valuable I was and didn't want to risk getting attached to a guy that is higher value. Many girls know that they can't keep your attention so they either don't smash or run away after sex because they'd don't feel worthy. I was shocked when she said this because the whole time she fronted like she was not attracted to me at all.
---- " we can't have sex because our other mutual friend really admires you" This is supporting evidence that many girls don't want to be the one to mess with the good guy. The pure one. Every guy they get sexual with ends up disappointing.
3.) Sex changes every relationship. While I don't regret having sex with her it did change the nature of the relationship. It changed the dynamic. She even predicted it and warn me that it would. She said " it will mess things up" to paraphrase. Now I can't hang out with her without wanting to smash. So there is less of a friendship now because I have less of a tolerance of hearing her problems. All I am thinking is that I want to smash. She did in a way lose a friend.
In summary if a girl thinks you are a great guy they may not have sex with you. We often look at this as a sign of disrespect. But it is a compliment sometimes. They know that you are more special than they are. They want to keep you around because you are too valuable to risk. They can be sexually attracted to you, but that doesn't mean that they will risk it.
4.) When they are heart broken they will sleep with the "friend". So this girl had basically been ghosted by a guy she really liked. She was heartbroken. This is when they are most vulnerable. This is when she gave me an opportunity. This shows that some friend zone guys are not unattractive in an objective sense, they are just unattractive in a relative sense. She is still attracted to you, its just that you are lower on the list than everyone else. If her list clears up then you are now number one. There are some friend zone guys that are not even on the list at all. This is the deep friend zone. The girl actually finds that guy repulsive.
5.) The reason you are low on their list is because while attractive, you are not their "ideal" type of attractive. I even asked this girl " I thought you said I was unattractive to you", she answered " well you are attractive enough". So that shows something I long suspected. Its not that you are unattractive. Its that you are unattractive in relative terms. You are not her typical type. So why would she risk her friendship ( something good) to sleep with a guy that she just finds kinda cute.
6.) A gf once told me that " if a girl is putting effort into a friendship, then on some level she likes you". I have found this to be true. Not all friend zones are created equal.
1.) Not all friend zones are created equal. Some girls don't **** you becuz you are repulsive but some don't **** you because they actually look at you with respect. After we had sex she told me that one of the reasons that she didn't do it is because she looked at me as nice. Nice meaning a good person. She didn't mean nice as not sexual. I have a reputation in the friend circle for being overtly sexual and for sleeping with a decent amount of girls. She has met some of my plates. What she meant was a decent guy. Many women don't want to soil a good hearted guy with their "dirty" sexuality. Most women attach a deep sense of guilt to sex. Even if they are *****s they can recognize a person that has a good soul. If she doesn't necessarily view herself as pure she will not want to contaminate the relationship with messy sex.
2.) Women admire good men. While they may not have sex with a good hearted alpha, they do respect them. In the manosphere we wrongly assume that just because a women admires you that she will have sex with you. The real world is slightly more complicated than that. That admiration is often a barrier to sex. If she admires you then it is because you exhibit rare traits like kindness, listening, bravery all in one package. She can count of you to be her rock. Why would she risk losing such a good guy in her life? Most men are not good people. You are the rare good person in her life. You are that light in a sea of darkness. Many girls will not want to risk that. She said the following
---- " what if we have sex and I catch feelings?" = She knew how valuable I was and didn't want to risk getting attached to a guy that is higher value. Many girls know that they can't keep your attention so they either don't smash or run away after sex because they'd don't feel worthy. I was shocked when she said this because the whole time she fronted like she was not attracted to me at all.
---- " we can't have sex because our other mutual friend really admires you" This is supporting evidence that many girls don't want to be the one to mess with the good guy. The pure one. Every guy they get sexual with ends up disappointing.
3.) Sex changes every relationship. While I don't regret having sex with her it did change the nature of the relationship. It changed the dynamic. She even predicted it and warn me that it would. She said " it will mess things up" to paraphrase. Now I can't hang out with her without wanting to smash. So there is less of a friendship now because I have less of a tolerance of hearing her problems. All I am thinking is that I want to smash. She did in a way lose a friend.
In summary if a girl thinks you are a great guy they may not have sex with you. We often look at this as a sign of disrespect. But it is a compliment sometimes. They know that you are more special than they are. They want to keep you around because you are too valuable to risk. They can be sexually attracted to you, but that doesn't mean that they will risk it.
4.) When they are heart broken they will sleep with the "friend". So this girl had basically been ghosted by a guy she really liked. She was heartbroken. This is when they are most vulnerable. This is when she gave me an opportunity. This shows that some friend zone guys are not unattractive in an objective sense, they are just unattractive in a relative sense. She is still attracted to you, its just that you are lower on the list than everyone else. If her list clears up then you are now number one. There are some friend zone guys that are not even on the list at all. This is the deep friend zone. The girl actually finds that guy repulsive.
5.) The reason you are low on their list is because while attractive, you are not their "ideal" type of attractive. I even asked this girl " I thought you said I was unattractive to you", she answered " well you are attractive enough". So that shows something I long suspected. Its not that you are unattractive. Its that you are unattractive in relative terms. You are not her typical type. So why would she risk her friendship ( something good) to sleep with a guy that she just finds kinda cute.
6.) A gf once told me that " if a girl is putting effort into a friendship, then on some level she likes you". I have found this to be true. Not all friend zones are created equal.