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Dumb girl wants to be single, I'm an idiot

Maxtro

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Hey it's me again, with another story of oneitis :down:

So fate decided to fuck with me and brought a previous oneitis back into my life, right after I had gotten over her :cuss:

I would have been happy if I never saw the bitch again, but noooo she had to late add the class, just when I thought I was in the clear.

Of course I'm retarded and I can't resist her. All the old feelings come pouring back and we basically continue on like she didn't reject me back in April and that we've been no contact from then on till September.

So we start regularly talking and hanging out together on campus. Last Thursday the 7th, I try to get her to do something with me off campus and she tells me that she's too busy with school and then counter-offers that we get together on Monday (the 11th, which we did for about 1 and a half hours)

Fast forward to today, as we leave class I ask her what she's doing this weekend. And she says she's going to a museum for as an assignment. I suggest that we go together then she asks me if I'm asking her on a date. Before I could answer, she brought up that she already told me that she didn't want to date anybody. I replied that she said that five months ago and I was checking if she changed her mind since then. She reiterated the doesn't want to date anybody at all. But that we can still hang out, and she suggested we hang out next week since she is still busy this week writing papers.

So the basic situation is that I got a girl that knows I'm interested, who doesn't want to date anybody, who likes my company and wants to keep hanging out with me, (though only what appears to be a controlled setting). WTF is wrong with this girl? She's almost 21 and I can't understand why she doesn't want any men in her life. I wonder if she's gay or had a bad experience.

BTW, I know I'm an idiot for getting stuck on her, again :rolleyes:
 

5string

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Wow, that's really being honest Maxtro. Maybe you should tone down your interest level as hers may rise in response? If she puts you entirely in the FZ, you already know what needs to be done....go shop for a new one. This has happened to nearly everyone on here. At least you are aware of what's happening to you. Luck brother.
 

Iceberg

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Not to be mean or anything, but it's not that she WANTS to be single. She just doesn't want to date you.

She'll stop being single as soon as a guy comes along who knows how to get her pants off.
 

Maxtro

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5string said:
Wow, that's really being honest Maxtro. Maybe you should tone down your interest level as hers may rise in response? If she puts you entirely in the FZ, you already know what needs to be done....go shop for a new one. This has happened to nearly everyone on here. At least you are aware of what's happening to you. Luck brother.
Thanks 5string, I've been here long enough to know exactly what's going on. I'm just powerless to do anything about it :(

I'm super low-key in showing my interest towards her. For a while I thought she forgot that she knew I was into her. So I was a little surprised that she picked up on that I was asking her on a date. Which means she's a little sharper than I thought she was. And that all this time we've been talking, she knew I was into her.

I was thinking that over time I could wear her defenses down. It's obvious that she enjoys my company but her not wanting to risk getting closer is annoying. The fact that she knows I like her and still wants to hang with me is just weird.

Iceberg said:
Not to be mean or anything, but it's not that she WANTS to be single. She just doesn't want to date you.

She'll stop being single as soon as a guy comes along who knows how to get her pants off.
I really don't know about that. For the entire year that I've known her, she's been single. Surely she's met other guys who wanted her, right?

She's an odd case that she's a nerdy/awkward girl who's cute but doesn't really have any style. She also used to be a fat girl up till a couple years ago. So I wonder how many guys have actually been interested in her as a woman. If she told me that she's never had a boyfriend, I wouldn't be surprised at all.

Maybe she is waiting for her prince or some bull shit like that, who knows? She'll probably end up getting used then tossed aside.
 

zekko

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The fact that she knows I like her and still wants to hang with me is just weird.
Not really, that just makes you a classic orbiter. Girls love to have guys around that adore them, it boosts their ego.
 

joe henny

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Homie maybe this game just isn't for you
 

kingsam

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Maxtro said:
Thanks 5string, I've been here long enough to know exactly what's going on. I'm just powerless to do anything about it :( your next sentance seems to contradict this

I'm super low-key in showing my interest towards her. thats why you FZ yourself For a while I thought she forgot that she knew I was into her. So I was a little surprised that she picked up on that I was asking her on a date. Which means she's a little sharper than I thought she was. no you just been so damn "low key" she was like... "is he a buddy or is he doing this to get with me....?" And that all this time we've been talking, she knew I was into her. are you sure ??

I was thinking that over time I could wear her defenses down. dude seriously is this a joke? It's obvious that she enjoys my company but her not wanting to risk getting closer is annoying. The fact that she knows I like her and still wants to hang with me is just weird. she could be a good (read USEFULL for meeting other women) freind, if you can get rid of your Unrequited love for her


I really don't know about that. For the entire year that I've known her, she's been single. Surely she's met other guys who wanted her, right? its amazing the other parts of peoples live you never know about

She's an odd case that she's a nerdy/awkward girl who's cute but doesn't really have any style. She also used to be a fat girl up till a couple years ago. So I wonder how many guys have actually been interested in her as a woman. If she told me that she's never had a boyfriend, I wouldn't be surprised at all.

Maybe she is waiting for her prince or some bull shit like that, who knows? She'll probably end up getting used then tossed aside.

dude you need much more INTENT, rather than this softly softley approach, go in "harder" you will either get blown out quickly (and u can move on) or you will be 'accepted' by the girl,
 

Maxtro

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zekko said:
Not really, that just makes you a classic orbiter. Girls love to have guys around that adore them, it boosts their ego.
Ohhhh. Then that just might answer that question.


kingsam said:
no you just been so damn "low key" she was like... "is he a buddy or is he doing this to get with me....?"

are you sure ??
I'm assuming that she knew I was into her. I should probably just ask her. I've got nothing to lose.

As for me being low key, when I'm into a girl, I talk to her whenever I can, flirt, kino, invite her to hang out with me. I think I invited her to hang with me about six times since the semester started. She DID correctly suspect that I was asking her on a date.

So I'm not really aggressive with my interest, but I'm not exactly passive either.
she could be a good (read USEFULL for meeting other women) freind, if you can get rid of your Unrequited love for her
I have never had a woman introduce me to other women and I've been at this game for many years. So the possiblity of meeting her friends or whatever, is never a factor.

its amazing the other parts of peoples live you never know about
It's just my assumption. I'd expect a decent looking girl to get some male attention. I can't imagine that I've been the only guy this year to be into her.

dude you need much more INTENT, rather than this softly softley approach, go in "harder" you will either get blown out quickly (and u can move on) or you will be 'accepted' by the girl,
How would I go in harder?
 

Radharc

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This is a longshot, mostly because its hard to pull, but you should go out with her, be nice and all, try to spend a good time with her, BUT at the same time flirt with other girls, try to get some numbers. The trick here is confusing her, right now she has you catalogued as "nice guy orbiter who just wants to kiss my ass" (no offense), hang out with her, allow her to consider it "non-dates" dont let that phase you, but cut short the extra "oneitis" attention, just treat her like a really cool friend you enjoy hanging out with but you are still doing your thing.

It is essential that she cant read what you are doing, you have to behave like you are still interested in a way, and do your thing with some subtlety, even like you dont want her to notice it.

If you manage to confuse her, in a way that she cant classify you in the categories that she knows you might have a shot.

Like I said, this is hard to pull, you cant be blatantly obvious, is a subtle game and you need to stay in character at all times. And she has to be willing to hang out with you. Confuse the sh1t out of her.
 

badboyjmm

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Answers in red
Maxtro said:
Hey it's me again, with another story of oneitis

So fate decided to **** with me and brought a previous oneitis back into my life, right after I had gotten over her
Fate didn't decided to f*ck with you, I see it has a test to verify if you are really over her
I would have been happy if I never saw the ***** again, but noooo she had to late add the class, just when I thought I was in the clear.
Bro, sh*t happens man, you gotta get over that
Of course I'm retarded and I can't resist her. All the old feelings come pouring back and we basically continue on like she didn't reject me back in April and that we've been no contact from then on till September.
Why do you even allow yourself talking to the girl if she is clearly not interested ? What is your motive ?
So we start regularly talking and hanging out together on campus. Last Thursday the 7th, I try to get her to do something with me off campus and she tells me that she's too busy with school and then counter-offers that we get together on Monday (the 11th, which we did for about 1 and a half hours)
The fact that she said she was too busy means she wasn't interested in going out with you, and that she had something better to do on the weekend and didn't want you to ruin the plans, since she's on the same class as you, it would of been lame for her to just keep on giving some excuses. One last thing, if you really wanna do something with any chicks, please get off the campus. I mean you can still pull it off but you can't really isolate the girl, you know what I mean ?
Fast forward to today, as we leave class I ask her what she's doing this weekend. And she says she's going to a museum for as an assignment.Hint that she has plans, hint that she doesn't wanna date you I suggest that we go together then she asks me if I'm asking her on a date.Before I could answer, she brought up that she already told me that she didn't want to date anybody.Translation: Maxtro, it's fun that you can help with my homeworks for the class that we have together and take notes when I'm not there (probably hooking up with a hot guy) but me and you it's not going happen, not now, not after 5 months NEVER I replied that she said that five months ago and I was checking if she changed her mind since then.You would have known man, you don't need a confirmation, if she was interested, she would never say that she doesn't wanna date anybody She reiterated the doesn't want to date anybodyWell like I wrote before, she doesn't wanna date you at all But that we can still hang out, and she suggested we hang out next week since she is still busy this week writing papers.Translation: Since that I explain to you that I don't wanna date you, I know that you will get the hint and feel bad. Since we are on the same class, it would be awkward situation if I just reject you and I would feel bad, that you fell bad. So since I'm pretty sure you still want me, I will hangout with you when I'm hungry (so you can buy foot for me, because I will always say that the next one is on me) when I'm bored so I can complain about how it's hard to find good guys (the worst is that you will listen)

So the basic situation is that I got a girl that knows I'm interested, who doesn't want to date anybodyAgain doesn't wanna date you, who likes my companyNot really, want help available when she needs it and wants to keep hanging out with me, (though only what appears to be a controlled setting)yep you got that right, she calling all the shots, makes you jump hoops (and you go for it ). WTF is wrong with this girl?Nothing, only that she knows you want her bad, and is willing to use you She's almost 21 and I can't understand why she doesn't want any men in her life.Again, she doesn't wanna date you simple is that, she didn't before, why now ? I wonder if she's gay or had a bad experience. Same as previous

BTW, I know I'm an idiot for getting stuck on her, again
Damn right you are (fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me). I understand that you think because you have improve yourself that you will win girls that didn't wanna date you. Reality check: There will always be girls that wouldn't give you the time of the day no matter how good looking, rich, nice you are. Just accept the facts.

I want you to:

Not initiate any contact, if she talks to you, you will only talk about stuff from the class you have. (otherwise don't talk to her)

Check out some others chicks (lots of them, give a few phones numbers and try to date them)

If you get only one number, wait until you have another one to start gaming(it will reduce the chance on one-itis)

Remember: A lock door will stay lock if you have the wrong key
 

Faded Image

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Iceberg said:
Not to be mean or anything, but it's not that she WANTS to be single. She just doesn't want to date you.

She'll stop being single as soon as a guy comes along who knows how to get her pants off.
Max,

take a deep breath and re-read Iceberg's post.
 

joe henny

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No need for a whole post for 1 b!tch. Get to steppin and pull 5 more.
 

TIC

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Maxtro said:
Before I could answer, she brought up that she already told me that she didn't want to date anybody. I replied that she said that five months ago and I was checking if she changed her mind since then. She reiterated the doesn't want to date anybody at all. But that we can still hang out, and she suggested we hang out next week since she is still busy this week writing papers.
This girl does not want you. At all. Do not contact her again and move on. She isn't celibate now, she doesn't want to be single. She just doesn't want to be with you. You are just further stroking her ego.

I guarantee she could possibly be blowing frat boys this Saturday night while she texts you, "Yea this paper I'm writing is tough, I can barely focus."

Get her the hell out of your life
 

Maxtro

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It seems that most people assume that she isn't celibate and that she's seeing other guys and that very well may be true.

But if she actually was celibate (and there are a lot of reasons why a girl may be,) would that change the dynamic at all?
 

Iceberg

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Maxtro said:
It seems that most people assume that she isn't celibate and that she's seeing other guys and that very well may be true.

But if she actually was celibate (and there are a lot of reasons why a girl may be,) would that change the dynamic at all?

If she's a secret wh*re and banging lots of dudes undercover, she still doesn't want to be with you. Thus, a waste of time.

And if she's celibate, she still doesn't want to be with you. Thus, a waste of time.

In which way do you see the dynamic changing where it would result in a girl who rejected you twice suddenly wanting to date you?
 

handle

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Maxtro said:
It seems that most people assume that she isn't celibate and that she's seeing other guys and that very well may be true.

But if she actually was celibate (and there are a lot of reasons why a girl may be,) would that change the dynamic at all?
What she is or isn't doing with other guys is completely irrelevant. All that matters is your result: you tried asking her out, it didn't work. So on to the next. Plain and simple. Don't beat yourself up about it and don't try to guess what she's thinking. On to the next.
 

Maxtro

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Heh, guess I was hoping there was some secret PUA trick to awaken a girls hidden sexual energy.

LOL I should just try to kiss her and get her to slap me again (see my previous thread)
 

5string

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I have an idea. Hang out with her for the sole purpose of meeting her friends. Forget about her and focus on her friends. Might be a silver lining in this dark cloud.
 

Maxtro

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5string said:
I have an idea. Hang out with her for the sole purpose of meeting her friends. Forget about her and focus on her friends. Might be a silver lining in this dark cloud.
How do you get girls to introduce you to their friends?

For some reason it hasn't happened yet.
 
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