Dumb girl wants to be single, I'm an idiot

[zekko]

The crazy thing is, the girl whose picture I posted was going out with at least three other guys in addition to me and she just kicked me to the curb because I couldn't compare.

She could be better looking than her picture. Nice smile, face, hair, just seems a little bit too thick to be a 7. But they say the camera adds ten pounds. I'm not trying to put her down.

Or she could be very flirty, or she could be in a social group with a lot of guys. Or if she goes out a lot or has a job working with the public, she'll probably get hit on a lot.

I kind of agree with Kingsam maybe you should try getting some lesser chicks just to get in some practice on how to interact with them. Normally I wouldn't recommend this but it seems like you need some positive experiences. One good thing is you aren't likely to get oneitis for them. Maybe squint at them a bit and use your imagination? Maybe you could watch You Don't Mess With the Zohan, that guy would fvck anything. You could do a lot better than those old bags he was banging.

 

[Mike32ct]

I know the other posters suggested lowering your standards. I understand your point that 5 is about the lowest you want to go. I have a different angle. How about you go for older women just to get some experience?

18 to 24 year old chicks are the toughest to get for most guys and the most hung up on looks, height, status, etc. At 29, you should be able to b$ng some 30something woman. (They love younger guys.). She still may be a 6 or 7 in looks but slightly more tolerant of a less confident/experienced guy. She may also give you less of a b$tch shield. Once you've had a few older broads to test drive, then you can try your luck again with the younger ones.

 

[Maxtro]

I have considered older women. The problem is I just can't see somebody older being into me. I don't see them being more "tolerant of a less confident/experienced guy." I actually expect the opposite.

It is an option and I really need to have a regular sex life. It's driving me insane.

So where would I meet single 30+ women?
-----

Today I didn't speak to the girl I'm after at all today except when she walked by me when I was talking to two other girls. She paused for a second, I acknowledged her and she kept walking. After class I left without saying bye to her.

I'm going to start focusing on another girl in the class. Maybe I'll get lucky, who knows?

 

[nismo-4]

I know the other posters suggested lowering your standards. I understand your point that 5 is about the lowest you want to go. I have a different angle. How about you go for older women just to get some experience?

18 to 24 year old chicks are the toughest to get for most guys and the most hung up on looks, height, status, etc. At 29, you should be able to b$ng some 30something woman. (They love younger guys.). She still may be a 6 or 7 in looks but slightly more tolerant of a less confident/experienced guy. She may also give you less of a b$tch shield. Once you've had a few older broads to test drive, then you can try your luck again with the younger ones.

You still need skills and something to offer to these women! Sometimes you'll need a stroke of luck as well because most of the time you go for a girl and you know damn well she's got a lot of guys she can call, some of these #'s she's had since 2006, it's a crap shoot. Hell, trying to get any woman to date you is a crap shoot!

HB1's are starting to have much more options than they did 20 years ago. All because guys are lowering their standards, and the fact that this number of desperate males is rising constantly, the cougar craze, the fact that many men are putting women on pedestals, and the fact that 99/100 men agree that a woman's love is a great thing to have (extra status points) doesn't help.

They say having ANY woman's love is much hella better than having NO woman's love at all. Hell, just having at least ONE woman is much hella better than having NO women, as it'll make you appear more desirable.

Thanks to all this sh*t, the fatties and even women in their 60's are partying like they're in their early 20's and acting like they're entitled to a male model! There are older women who know how to use a b**ch shield more than their younger counterparts and these same women have lots of options and choosing power.

 

[nismo-4]

I have considered older women. The problem is I just can't see somebody older being into me. I don't see them being more "tolerant of a less confident/experienced guy." I actually expect the opposite.

Here again Maxtro, you need to have something to offer here and be somewhat attractive. I've had the element of luck on my side.

It is an option and I really need to have a regular sex life. It's driving me insane.

Don't tell these women that!

So where would I meet single 30+ women?

On the net, use POF. Photoshop yourself to have muscles and put yourself at age between 40 & 47. It works for me and still is now. I don't meet a lot of women in my line of work. But you should try Walmart/ Publix/ Kroger on Wednesdays and sometimes flea markets. Or gyms! Anything to get out the goddamn house and off your ass!
-----

Today I didn't speak to the girl I'm after at all today except when she walked by me when I was talking to two other girls. She paused for a second, I acknowledged her and she kept walking. After class I left without saying bye to her.

Just move on. You got bigger fish to fry.

I'm going to start focusing on another girl in the class. Maybe I'll get lucky, who knows?

As long as you keep trying and don't mope around on your ass.

Read between th- Just get off your ass!

 

[thegator39]

What you have to realize Maxtro is that these women that you desire, while they might be 5 or 6s to the majority and not "hot"...they still have many options dating wise and sex wise for the simple fact that they aren't ugly or fat and have a p*ssy and are young.

You're a WBAFC, no offense, and probably come off as desperate and creepy. While you might think "They're only 5s or 6s" that's not how the game works. They can get most guys they have a crush on because they're not ugly.

You don't want to hear this, but your league is more like the 2s or 3s, even if you aren't ridiculously ugly.

You're also socially clueless and appear to have zero grasping skills, which doesn't help.

If you want a girl like the one in the picture for a longer period of time, it would take a lot of work that I don't think you're capable of based on your countless posts on this board.

 

[Maxtro]

Read between th- Just get off your ass!

Wow, I can't tell if your being serous with your reply or not. BTW, off course I know not to mope around girls or let them think I'm desperate.

Best thing I can do is keep my distance when I feel I can't control how I feel.

What you have to realize Maxtro is that these women that you desire, while they might be 5 or 6s to the majority and not "hot"...they still have many options dating wise and sex wise for the simple fact that they aren't ugly or fat and have a p*ssy and are young.

While you might think "They're only 5s or 6s" that's not how the game works. They can get most guys they have a crush on because they're not ugly.

I've thought about that subject a lot. Even average girls have way too much power. I know that it doesn't look good for me. It's one reason why I'm really starting to hate women.

You're a WBAFC, no offense, and probably come off as desperate and creepy.

If I came off as desperate and creepy would I be able to make female friends? I'm pretty sure that girls try really hard to avoid creepy guys. Heck, I avoid guys that are creepy. I also don't think I come off as desperate either. I know that I was obviously desperate when I was younger and I did freak girls out. But it hasn't been that way for about 7 years.

You don't want to hear this, but your league is more like the 2s or 3s, even if you aren't ridiculously ugly.

You're also socially clueless and appear to have zero grasping skills, which doesn't help.

Going for 2's and 3's is ridiculous. I once dated a 4, I'll never go that low again. I'd rather be dead then be with a girl that grosses me out.

My social skills are getting much better. They've improved a ton since I first joined this board. What the hell are grasping skills?

If you want a girl like the one in the picture for a longer period of time, it would take a lot of work that I don't think you're capable of based on your countless posts on this board.

Jee, thanks for the encouragement.

 

[nismo-4]

Wow, I can't tell if your being serous with your reply or not. BTW, off course I know not to mope around girls or let them think I'm desperate.

Well then why aren't you meeting more women and spinning plates. Take it step by step, sometimes you gotta take it slow bro. I am serious with these replies which are in red and you're looking at them now.

Best thing I can do is keep my distance when I feel I can't control how I feel.

NO! Learn how to control how you feel. Become secure about yourself.

Going for 2's and 3's is ridiculous. I once dated a 4, I'll never go that low again. I'd rather be dead then be with a girl that grosses me out.

This whole goddamn motherf**kin' statement grosses me out! Just listen at your pessimistic ass. What's wrong with working your way up the damn scale? Huh? Everybody gotta start from somewhere. I started out by not knowing the difference between smooth love and a goddamn pop-tart! I considered the fact that I went to prom the equivalent of hitting the Louisiana Lottery! Now I have a different outlook on women. Don't you realize that you only live once? You'd rather die a virgin? You'd rather die alone? Motherf**ker! F**k that $hit! It's always better to be seen with a woman and be the laughing stock of the town for that than to be the laughing stock of the town for being a lonely man! Where I come from, if you didn't have a girl, the game is that much harder and the fact you're getting insulted constantly because of it was no help.

My social skills are getting much better. They've improved a ton since I first joined this board. What the hell are grasping skills?

Grasping skills is basically your learning curve. Your social skills can't be getting much better if you keep failing with no signs of turnaround.

Jee, thanks for the encouragement.

Stop looking for a magic pill and get your ass out there and find women who are actually interested in you! If a girl ain't that into you, your princess is in another castle! Stop crying, get over it, and just keep moving. Fortune favors the bold. Read my sig.

Read be- I gotta go ease my goddamn mind, time to play some Mega Man 6!

 

[Maxtro]

Well then why aren't you meeting more women and spinning plates. Take it step by step, sometimes you gotta take it slow bro.

Spinning plates is a really funny concept when I don't even have one girl.

It takes me some time to build enough confidence in myself to ask somebody out. For some reason, I thought I had a chance with this girl this time. I asked her out, got shot down and now I need to get back to my baseline, then get more confidence to ask somebody else out.

Right now I don't have hope so I'm in no rush to get rejected again.

This whole goddamn motherf**kin' statement grosses me out! Just listen at your pessimistic ass. What's wrong with working your way up the damn scale? Huh? Everybody gotta start from somewhere.

Working my way up the scale is fine. I'm just not going to start at the absolute bottom. I still have some pride. I also can't control what I'm attracted to or turned off by. All it's really going to take is me to get lucky with somebody who's a 5 or higher, then I can start building some self-esteem then work my way up.

You'd rather die a virgin? You'd rather die alone? Motherf**ker! F**k that $hit! It's always better to be seen with a woman and be the laughing stock of the town for that than to be the laughing stock of the town for being a lonely man!

I'm not a virgin so that isn't an issue. As for being seen without a woman. What's more embarrassing, being alone, or being with an ugly/ fat girl? I'm neither fat nor ugly. Dieing alone....possibly, but I hope not.

Grasping skills is basically your learning curve. Your social skills can't be getting much better if you keep failing with no signs of turnaround.

Ah, that makes more sense. Yeah, my social skills are increasing at a lower than normal rate. They were pretty much stagnant from 16-23. I used to be super quiet. I know I have a lot of catching up to do.

The problem is that I still haven't reached the level that's required to attract women and I have no idea how far away that is. I hate that I can't get feedback from women and hear what the really think about me.

Over the years there have been several girls that I was getting close to having sex with, who actually expressed that they wanted me but there was always some bullshit that happened and screwed everything up. Most of the time I either said or did something stupid and they changed their mind. Other times fate just got in the way.

Stop looking for a magic pill and get your ass out there and find women who are actually interested in you!

Find women who are actually interested in me? I'd love to. It's been years since the last time I knew a girl who was into me.

A couple of days I realized that if I want to get anywhere with women, I'm going to need to learn how to seduce them. It seems to be the only way. Or I actually get lucky for once in my life.

 

[Igetit!]

I kind of agree with Kingsam maybe you should try getting some lesser chicks just to get in some practice on how to interact with them.

You don't want to hear this,but your league is more like 2s or 3s...

Zekko and Thegator39....you guys are missing the point. Look...Max has been here for OVER 6 years. Now I can understand people still having struggles and difficulties from time to time,but Max is still running around asking members newbie type questions. You guys don't know Maxtro.


The truth of the matter is that he's needy,insecure,clingy,and CLOSE-MINDED. That's the HONEST TRUTH. The fact that (according to him) he gets oneitis for every girl that he has interest in shows his neediness/clinginess,and him rejecting EVERY PIECE OF ADVICE EVER GIVEN TO HIM shows he's close-minded.



If he has all that going on in his mind,how is going for a 3 instead of a 7 supposed cure all that? Do you guys really think that going after a 4 instead of a 7.5 will somehow make 6 years of mental blocks,neediness,clinginess,stubborness,and fear just all of the sudden disappear?




Go through his threads and take a look at his responses right after someone tries to help out. He takes what they say,twists it around to justify not trying anything new,then just stays right where he is.
Why do you think he's still in the same condition as he was 6+ years ago when he first arrived here?



You guys are trying to get him to change the types of girls he goes after,but the girls AREN'T THE PROBLEM,he is. And Thegator39....you said that he should pursue a 2 or a 3 so that way he won't have to worry about getting oneitis??? Lol,:crackup: That one made my side hurt dude,lol.





Neediness is trying to fill an inner void with something (or someone) outside of yourself. It doesn't care if a woman is an 8 or a 3,it's not based on how attractive a woman is. You can have oneitis for a 9 just like you can a 5.





You guys mean well,but you don't know who you're dealing with. Every question Max has asked he's already asked before,and basically every piece of advice you guys have given has already been offered to him before.



If you don't believe me,Max has 3 threads in particular that you guys should glance at....one called "Should I end my friendship with this girl?",another titled,"I've completely utterly failed",and my personal favorite,"It ain't over yet". ALL THREE THREADS are about the same girl.




Check out the "It ain't over yet" thread. You don't have to read the whole thing,just skip down to reply number 26 and look at the very last sentence there. Look at the question I asked him. I asked him if he's finally learned what he did wrong,or does he need to go through it again with 2 or 3 more girls....oh,and keep in mind...that thread was like a year and a half ago.



I'm not telling you guys to stop trying to help him or to stop giving him advice,only to realize that much of what you're suggesting he do has already been offered to him and he's already rejected it. He actually fights members who try to help him so he can stay where he is.


If you don't believe me,then offer him some more suggestions. Watch how he explains them away so he has no choice but to continue with the status quo.

 

[Maxtro]

Neediness is trying to fill an inner void with something (or someone) outside of yourself. It doesn't care if a woman is an 8 or a 3,it's not based on how attractive a woman is. You can have oneitis for a 9 just like you can a 5.

Sad truth.

I really need to figure out why I crush so hard and so easily.

For the record, how I pursued things with this girl is very different from how I did with "It ain't over yet" girl. I hung out with her for months before I told her that I liked her, then I blew up.

This girl, I expressed interest in, asked her out and can still talk to her if I desire to do so.

 

[joe henny]

Sad truth.

I really need to figure out why I crush so hard and so easily.

For the record, how I pursued things with this girl is very different from how I did with "It ain't over yet" girl. I hung out with her for months before I told her that I liked her, then I blew up.

This girl, I expressed interest in, asked her out and can still talk to her if I desire to do so.

The reason you crush so badly is because you don't get a lot of puxsy is u were talking to five girls it would be impossible for you to crush on them all

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

Max you mentioned that you hung out with her for months before you told her you were interested in her and liked her. This is not good because you are already in the "friends" zone. It's really hard to get out of the friends zone once you're in there. She has to realize that you are the right guy for her. This means you will have to keep treating her nice and hopefully she'll pull through. You are taking a big risk if you are not trying to meet other women.

You may get rejected a lot at first, but you gotta learn how to crawl before you learn how to walk, then later run.

Every guy gets rejected, and there are people who get rejected more than you do. I don't want you to be stuck with this one girl and find that you wasted so many years. It will mentally and socially harm you.

This is what you're gonna do k....

Keep her as a friend, and treat her nice.
Don't give all your attention to her
Hang out with guys that like meeting girls
If you don't know any guys that are good that this
Try make friends with some guys and go out with them
They will teach you and you can learn from them
Date other women

One thing I realized in my life Max is that there is always someone better looking, more innocent, that has a better body, etc.

Which means there is no point being hard up for one girl, especially if she catagorizes you as a friend.

It is your lack of experience that is the bottleneck here.
If you had game you would try to put moves on her the first or second time you hung out with her, but instead you waited months... thats why you are a good friend to her.

There is no point in contining this thread, you need to move on and gain experience.

It's like playing an RPG Final Fantasy 7 lets say. You are level 1 trying to fight a boss, you'll never win.

 

[Maxtro]

Try to put moves on a girl the first or second time I hang out with her? That's a scary thought.

That seems like trying to do a finisher when the opponent is nowhere near dead.

 

[DJ SO STEVE]

Well Max here are two scenarios, one played by an experienced man and beginner man.

Experienced:
First date guy tries to make a move (this lets her know he is interested)
Second date guy tried to advance further
a) if the girl lets him go further she is interested in a possible relationsihp
b) if she pushes him away by 1st and 2nd date she is not interested
Experienced guy moves on, because no point having all the females you know as friends. Experienced guys have enough female friends.

Non Experience:
First date just have a good time like friends (dinner/movies, etc)
Second date (dinner/movies etc)
Third date and so on keep doing the same or different things with no advancements on the girl. (She doesn't know you are interested)

She treats you as a friend and does not want to lose you as a friend because if you get into a relationship you might not be friends with her if you guys break up (this is bull cause if she really liked you she wouldn't care)

 

[Igetit!]

Try to put the moves on a girl the first or second time I hang out with her? That's a scary thought. That seems like trying to do a finisher when the opponent is nowhere near dead.

Zekko,Thegator39...see what I mean?

DJ SO STEVE just offered him a suggestion and everything I said in reply #74 just came to pass.

He's close-minded. I used to be like that. I rejected everything everyone tried to tell me even though they all had the success I "claimed" I wanted.


There's nothing anyone can say to him to help him out right now,all we can do is just let him continue the way he is until HE gets tired of failure and gets serious about change.


Max,when the pain of lonliness and frustration finally outweights your fear of trying something new,we'll still be here.

 

[Maxtro]

DJ SO STEVE just offered him a suggestion and everything I said in reply #74 just came to pass.

No fair, that was a trap

Putting aside the fact that I try to use logic to explain actions that result in me "continuing with the status quo", the key point of that post was my fear. That's what it all boils down to.

Asking out a girl I already know and have asked out before, is not as scary as asking out somebody new and starting the whole process from scratch, again.

I'm extremely stubborn and it may end up biting me in the ass.

So what am I going to do; show interest early on in the interaction or give up because it's too risky/scary/draining?

 

[thegator39]

If Maxtro gets obsessed or gets oneitis for any girl that he randomly checks out or comes into contact with and likes...that's more of a desperation problem. He wants the next girl he sees to be "the one" that likes him, because he's impatient and frustrated. He wants results without doing the work.

I've read the board before and seen posts about his reluctance to make a physical move on a girl on a first or second date...that tells me he's trying to get results before even being aware of how clueless he is.

 

[Iceberg]

I'm extremely stubborn and it may end up biting me in the ass.

Stubborn is a word that almost indicates strength and resolve, even against your better judgment. I wouldn't call you stubborn. I'd call you weak.

And it "may end up biting you in the azz"? No. It definitely is.

So what am I going to do; show interest early on in the interaction or give up because it's too risky/scary/draining?

Haven't you gotten enough attention in your 5-page thread...or your SIX YEARS on sosuave? This is a first-day question, and I'll give you the first-day answer that should have shut this thread down a week ago:

Read the DJ bible.

5 pages of people psychoanalyzing you and showering you with attention. You must love this. This here is probably more attention than you've gotten from women in a decade. Make an honest effort in bettering yourself, or just go away and let people dedicate this time to men who are willing to go out and apply effort.

 

[Maxtro]

If Maxtro gets obsessed or gets oneitis for any girl that he randomly checks out or comes into contact with and likes...that's more of a desperation problem. He wants the next girl he sees to be "the one" that likes him, because he's impatient and frustrated.

I think it's because of this.

The reason you crush so badly is because you don't get a lot of puxsy is u were talking to five girls it would be impossible for you to crush on them all

Except that I don't get any pussy at all.

Throw in the normal human need for companionship, poor social skills, the hatred of being alone, fear of rejection and a dash of ego. You come up with a guy desperate for female attention who latches on to whomever gives a little more than average, but who's scared to make a move on her and refuses to go for girls 'beneath' him.

I am frustrated but I'm also patient, too patient. I can wait a long time which is not a good thing.

He wants results without doing the work.

I've read the board before and seen posts about his reluctance to make a physical move on a girl on a first or second date...that tells me he's trying to get results before even being aware of how clueless he is.

Believe me, nobody is more aware that I'm clueless than I am. I am the one who gets frustrated by being around a girl and not having a fucking clue what to do or say to her. It's extremely annoying how that I'm 29 years old yet I have less power than somebody 10 years younger. For as long as I've been on this forum, women should be treating me like I'm a god by now.

5 pages of people psychoanalyzing you and showering you with attention. You must love this. This here is probably more attention than you've gotten from women in a decade. Make an honest effort in bettering yourself, or just go away and let people dedicate this time to men who are willing to go out and apply effort.

Nobody has to post. I appropriate it when people contribute but it's not required.

This thread has been helpful in making me realize things that I wouldn't have without the psychoanalysis.