Thinking About Bailing On Marriage

[Pandora]

Im not married yet but emotional stability is the main battle that women fight. The constant arguing. It is hell. Like I said all women have a hidden evil. Was she like this before the marriage? What was she like? Was she submissive?

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Typically arguments. Ones that often start over some stupid stuff.

If I didn't de-escalate, the argument would never end. This b*tch fvcking loves to argue. I should have cared more about how she communicates with her mom.
I can't even just stop responding to an argument. She'll just stay pissy for days after, even if I've long forgotten about it.

She loves to argue, and loves to not let go of it.

Thank you for your perspective. This part stood out for me

Did you ever try to let the drama play out? Like dont giving a fvck and ignore her as long as she behaves like that?

I did the de-escalating thing for years in different relationships and it didnt get me anywhere.
My life and the relationships only got better when i turned the tables and didnt give a fvck anymore.

Maybe this is just her creating drama in an otherwise dramafree environment? You know some women really love drama and when their life is too easy they create issues.

What would happen if you would start creating drama and reverse the roles?

Did you consider that your de-escalating and not calling her out on the BS/putting sanctions on her could be robbing her of a stoic hard man that is not at all affected by her bytching?

 

[Money & Muscle]

Was she like this before the marriage? What was she like? Was she submissive?

Well, we argued less because you just have less to argue about when you're dating than when you're married with child(ren).

She wasn't submissive, at least, not that I noticed. I was very blue pilled and starstruck back then so I never really cared or picked up on it. She wasn't dominant either, she was just her own individual. I should have given her compliance tests, but I did the opposite.

She sure was a lot more fun back then though. Bubbly, even. Would smile just by looking at me. I probably could have gotten her to willingly and eagerly submit back then. I'm afraid it's too late now.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Did you ever try to let the drama play out? Like dont giving a fvck and ignore her as long as she behaves like that?

I did this and it went a week and a half with almost no talking, no touching, no sex/intimacy.
This was 2 weeks ago.

What would happen if you would start creating drama and reverse the roles?

I've done this. In small doses, it works okay, but overall it ends up being that if I don't smooth the waters - they just stay turmoiled.

Did you consider that your de-escalating and not calling her out on the BS/putting sanctions on her could be robbing her of a stoic hard man that is not at all affected by her bytching?

yeah, it's absolutely possible. I struggle to hold my tongue when she does sh*t intentionally to irritate me. I know this is a *me* problem.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

yeah, it's absolutely possible. I struggle to hold my tongue when she does sh*t intentionally to irritate me. I know this is a *me* problem.

I can relate to that, its hard for me to, to not get back at her when she starts throwing dirt.

I would try giving her the cold shoulder, not getting into arguments, maybe just leaving to meet a friend or hit the gym/Dojo. Let her wonder where you went.

It might be a challenge but id also try to not initiate sex for a longer period of time..... let her wonder for a month or two what happened and why you arent interested in her anymore. Get her imagination working and see what happens.

I was 25 and 4.5 years into my second LTR in which my GF came around initiating after giving me mercy sex every other week for years.
The trick was no more chasing and let her mind work overtime

 

[Money & Muscle]

It might be a challenge but id also try to not initiate sex for a longer period of time..... let her wonder for a month or two what happened and why you arent interested in her anymore. Get her imagination working and see what happens.

This sounds great, but there's a 0% chance I can make it more than a few days without planting my seed somewhere.

I'm done jerking off so I guess that leaves either my wife or some other gal on the receiving end of my steroid-fueled libido.

I've tried this before, but only for 2 weeks or so. Admittedly, things picked up afterwards. I get it, sex with the same dude all the time isn't always fun. It's nowhere near as fun as getting bent over the hood of a car by some dude you just met at a bar.

But why even be married to someone you don't want to climb in the sack with on a consistent basis? Not to sound arrogant, but I'm definitely not unattractive and I've had more than one girl tell me I'd be in the top 5% of looks department.

Minus 20%+ because married.

Sorry, I went on kind of a rant. I could try initiating less but tbh my wife never initiates. She is usually highly receptive to my initiations, but lately it's more of a "I guess I'm supposed to put out" response.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Your risks are substantial. You could come home from work one day and be handed divorce papers and an order of protection based on fictitious and unproven allegations. Then you are kicked out of your own house and don't even get to see your daughter for a while, until the court is done raping you. 25% of your income until the child is 18, sometimes even longer in some states, and another 25% to her as alimony for I'd guess another two years or so. You might have to pay her attorneys fees and will certainly have to pay your own.

So understand your risks and mitigate them. The only good divorce is a friendly one.

Nobody can kick you out of the house. That is also one of the biggest mistakes men make is that thinking because your wife tells you to leave that you have to leave. No you don't. Any divorce lawyer will tell you DON'T DO IT because you are willingly giving up substantial rights if you do, not only to the house itself but also in terms of custody.

Contact the police and make a record saying that you are refusing to leave your house and you want a record of this in case she tries to make up any false reports to get you out.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Honestly it seems like you view this as less of a marriage and more of a master-slave relationship and to be honest, if that is the case it's not surprising you are having those issues.

For whoever exalts himself will be humbled...

 

[Money & Muscle]

Nobody can kick you out of the house. That is also one of the biggest mistakes men make is that thinking because your wife tells you to leave that you have to leave. No you don't. Any divorce lawyer will tell you DON'T DO IT because you are willingly giving up substantial rights if you do, not only to the house itself but also in terms of custody.

Contact the police and make a record saying that you are refusing to leave your house and you want a record of this in case she tries to make up any false reports to get you out.

Don't worry guys. I don't even sleep on the couch after arguments.

If she doesn't want to sleep next to me, the couch or floor are perfectly viable options for her. I'm certainly not leaving my house.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Honestly it seems like you view this as less of a marriage and more of a master-slave relationship

I genuinely don't understand where you're getting this from.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Nobody can kick you out of the house. That is also one of the biggest mistakes men make is that thinking because your wife tells you to leave that you have to leave. No you don't. Any divorce lawyer will tell you DON'T DO IT because you are willingly giving up substantial rights if you do, not only to the house itself but also in terms of custody.

Contact the police and make a record saying that you are refusing to leave your house and you want a record of this in case she tries to make up any false reports to get you out.

It happened to my dad. I'm almost positive it was my mom's lawyers idea. The law here just says you have to "feel threatened" to get an order of protection. They almost always rubber stamp them for women alleging abuse, because if they denied it and the woman got murdered, the judge would look bad. But yes, wife, roommate, hell probably your very close neighbor could all conceivably force you out of your house if they got a protective order. They don't last forever, but it baits the person into violating it, which is an instant trip to jail.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It happened to my dad. I'm almost positive it was my mom's lawyers idea. The law here just says you have to "feel threatened" to get an order of protection. They almost always rubber stamp them for women alleging abuse, because if they denied it and the woman got murdered, the judge would look bad. But yes, wife, roommate, hell probably your very close neighbor could all conceivably force you out of your house if they got a protective order. They don't last forever, but it baits the person into violating it, which is an instant trip to jail.

That's why you contact the police first and then you have it on record. Making false statements is not looked at lightly in court or by the police.

Any good lawyer would skewer her in divorce court.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Okay guys thanks for the divorce tips and all that but I'm not even at the point of talking to a lawyer.

I will be if the woman doesn't shape up, but right now I need to fix my game. And by "fix my game" I mean "start gaming other women".

 

[ManFromTartarus]

I mean "start gaming other women".

In all honesty I think that's a much lower priority than getting your house in order.

..... and if you slip up & get busted, you just gave her the ammo to fry your azz.

 

[soulforge]

Typically arguments. Ones that often start over some stupid stuff.

If I didn't de-escalate, the argument would never end. This b*tch fvcking loves to argue. I should have cared more about how she communicates with her mom.
I can't even just stop responding to an argument. She'll just stay pissy for days after, even if I've long forgotten about it.

She loves to argue, and loves to not let go of it.

Thank you for your perspective. This part stood out for me

I don't know how you married guys tolerate woman who unessaseraly argue, act out all masculine and combative.

Just dealing with that kinda shyte for a few months had me running.

Combative behaviour, not making you feel desired, both these things chip away at a man's self worth & you no longer feel like the masculine man you once where.

 

[The Duke]

There are always other sides to the story as to why relationships go south. What issues do you think she has with you?

Women acting like yours has started to do is a silent protest for something she isn't happy about.

 

[Bible_Belt]

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Okay guys thanks for the divorce tips and all that but I'm not even at the point of talking to a lawyer.

I will be if the woman doesn't shape up, but right now I need to fix my game. And by "fix my game" I mean "start gaming other women".

I think you should talk to a lawyer anyway so that you don’t hold divorce as an option because you’re gonna get railroaded no matter what you do and that’ll sober you the F up.

 

[Divorced w 3]

That's why you contact the police first and then you have it on record. Making false statements is not looked at lightly in court or by the police.

Any good lawyer would skewer her in divorce court.

Youre right on not leaving, but if she files for restraint she will get it, so better advice would be to seek it first

 

[Money & Muscle]

In all honesty I think that's a much lower priority than getting your house in order.

How does one do this when a wife takes a husband for granted and thinks he has no other options for sex?

Just stomp around and put my foot down?
I firmly believe the next step is for me to increase the Dread levels.