"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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You've got to be kidding me

C

Casino

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2004
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ok i just read the Boot Camp Bible. Actually I skimmed through it.

And for a site that preaches "be a man" the songs there were listed might qualify as some of the most pu$$ified songs in the history of recorded audio.

i mean...Bette Midlers eyes? WTF?

Bon Jovi..

what the hell is next some John Tesh and Yanni?

how about some WU? some old school NWA. Led Zep? Anything but some of this crap.

other than that the bootcamp bible is good.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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R

RedKnight04

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2004
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Age
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What are you talking about playa? Bette Midler is the $hit!! It puts a tear to my eye you gotz to disrespect such stunning tunes.

Honestly Bytches Ain't $hit by Snoop off the chronic is the first song you gotta check out!! Fuk all that other $hit!! You'll yet serious oneitis for whoever your with if you listen to boyz 2 men or anything along that line.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

D

diablo

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 2, 2004
Messages
4,678
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9
Location
Louisiana, USA
Anything Else...
Originally posted by rgeere
I bet you are like 11 feet tall and have 20 size shoes, 'cause I wouldn't be caught dead saying that otherwise ...
Click to expand...
I agree.
 
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