You're not a man...

[Omen]

So I heard this once from a woman many years ago about how I wasn't a real man because I couldn't handle a kid.

By this I mean, this girl wanted to date me many years ago, but I told her I couldn't do the kid thing. I was about 18 and she was 17 or so, and she had a kid. She was like... real men dont have a problem with it. Ok, so maybe I wasn't a MAN at 18, but I still feel the same way. I really would make that my last resort. And its not that I dont like kids, its just i'd like to have one of my own. I dont see anything wrong with that, but I dont know why women think if you cant handle a kid, you are not grown up or a real man.

Just wondering what everyone thought about this type of thing?

I also know this girl who had a kid, and had it adopted already, and though there isn't a kid in the picture, I still dont think I could date her. Guess its just hard to grasp. You'd like to think... Ok, pretend like she never had one, and just date her cause she is her.

Anyone ever been through this type of stuff? I wonder how many guys dont care if a woman has a kid, and how many want nothing to do with it.

 

[MooseGod]

Real men aren't supposed to have a problem raising another guy's child? That's some retarded logic if you ask me. It is definately something to be concerned about, if it's a LTR. I wanna start fresh when I have a family...

 

[Telos]

Sounds like she's looking for a baby's daddy--she wants a doormat provider to raise her child.

 

[joey2times]

Beware of the "Real Man" bullshyt from women.

If you don't pay for dinner every date you're not a real man.
If you don't put up with her nonsense you're not a real man.
If you want to take care of some other guy's kids you're not a real man

BLAH BLAH BLAH

It's just stupid shyt women use to get you to do what they want. One of the first things a woman will do is attack your masculinity if you don't comply with her way of thinking.

 

[Omen]

Real men aren't supposed to have a problem raising another guy's child? That's some retarded logic if you ask me. It is definately something to be concerned about, if it's a LTR. I wanna start fresh when I have a family...

Let me ask you this...

Do you view a girl with a kid the same as a girl who had a kid but gave it up for adoption?

Cause in both cases, they both had a kid. The only thing that is different is that one girl kept the kid and the other had it adopted.

So with the second girl, there is no kid in the picture per se, and if you were with her, you wouldn't be called dad, or have that whole... You're not my dad problem if it was a LTR.

Then some may look at who is more responsible. Though they both had kids, were are looking at responsibility in the way of... I kept my kid, and am raising it, while the other had it adopted. Of course this one girl I know DID the right thing by having it adopted. She had no business raising it.

Anyway I just wondered if anyone looked at both those situations the same. Girl with a kid, and girl who had one but had it adopted.

 

[MooseGod]

Well if she gave the kid up for adoption, that shows maturity in the fact that she realized it was a huge responsibility. Any girl with ambition for her life/career prospects etc would arguably chose this option. With no kid in the picture I'd say go for it, but proceed at your own risk.

 

[Rata Blanca]

Shaming language, she is making you feel shame so she can manipulate you.

 

[penkitten]

wow, she was so good at manipulating people (at her age of 17) that here you are a decade later, still wondering why she said what she did.

she said "a real man wouldn't have a problem with it."
however it should have been " a real family man would not have a problem with it."

i mean, there is a difference.
however, she was never taught the difference.

 

[Effington]

I've heard the "you're not a man if you don't..." a million times, it's worthless. I've had women say that about anything from paying for dinner, to the clothes they wear, to the type of car they drive. It doesn't matter.