"you're arrogant"

[shaunuk]

Alright lads, here's something that I've encountered a fair few times now, some input would be awesome.

When I'm flirting with girls I've just met, i.e. cold approach a group of girls, I encounter them telling me I'm arrogant, "full of myself" and that "I love myself".

For example, this happened last night when I was talking to a group of about 6 girls in a beer garden. One of the girls in particular started saying that I'm arrogant, ****y, full of myself, and most of the other girls agreed, but in a lighter tone.

When this happens I am pretty aloof to it and I play it off almost completely. I actually got the number of the girl who started the "attack" and she took mine as well.

There has also been a few occasions where I have fvcked girls who have called me arrogant while we've been talking amongst her girlfriends. In a few cases the insinuations have pretty much been all-out attacks on my personality - perhaps that I'm "arrogant" and "full of myself" as a front to my persona.

But despite this, I seem to do pretty well if I just play it off as "whatever, I don't give a ****".

What's everyone's thoughts on this? My thoughts have always been that those saying I'm an arrogant **** are intimidated by my confidence.

 

[doctorj]

I think it's ok, don't let what they say bother you...women often say one thing and act another way anyway, as long as they're talking, going out with you and you still get numbers...I think there's nothing wrong

 

[Hughman]

It's one of two things:
1. They are trying to shame you for actually having balls.
2. Or they are turned on massively by you but want to appear like they are shaming you to garner social acceptance. (linked to point 1)

I'd say from the fact you're still pulling numbers and f-closes, it's option 2. Keep it up.

 

[Daydream Engineer]

If they say that while smiling, it means your doing something right! Usually it means the same as " Your a jerk" or " Your a Badass". Keep up the good work! Next time one of them calls you arrogant, tell her, " Actually im a really nice guy but only to my favorite girl" or " Im a sweetheart to my sweetheart". They might go WTF? in the beginning,( might ask you what do you find attractive), but in the long run they are going to try to game you if attractive exists.

 

[Leporello]

If they say you're arrogant, say something to the effect of 'and with good reason'.

 

[C-quenced]

May be the c/f you're pulling off. I've been told it is easily overdone so you have to be careful. I also get those kind of responses from women.

 

[Warrior74]

in the past I have been guilty of responding to that accusation with some of the following....

"and your insecure, now we both know where we stand"
"hard not to be when your this awesome"
"so?"
"I'm not arrogant, just confident"

I used to get that when I was putting on an act of confidence, I always felt I had to defend my "confidence" with arrogance. Now I'm pretty laid back and confident naturally I don't get called arrogant anymore nor do I feel the need to defend myself. I am who I am.

 

[shaunuk]

Hm, thanks for your input guys.

Also, Hughman can relate to this, there's a north-south divide in England. These girls I was talking to are southern girls, whereas I'm a northerner with a distinct accent. Southerners are often dubbed "southern pansies" and northerners "northern monkeys". I think the fact that I just initiated a conversation with them may be quite foreign, adding to my '****y' appearance.

After I shrugged the comments off, things pretty much went back to normal. Should I take that as pulling it off?

 

[C-quenced]

Also, Hughman can relate to this, there's a north-south divide in England. These girls I was talking to are southern girls, whereas I'm a northerner with a distinct accent. Southerners are often dubbed "southern pansies" and northerners "northern monkeys". I think the fact that I just initiated a conversation with them may be quite foreign, adding to my '****y' appearance.


Sounds a little bit like North America to me. But yeah it can also be your demeanor. I wouldn't worry about it.

After I shrugged the comments off, things pretty much went back to normal. Should I take that as pulling it off?

It's either they like you or they don't. If they behave in manner which says they do then yeah you pulled it off. Again I wouldn't worry about it.

 

[Hughman]

Hm, thanks for your input guys.

Also, Hughman can relate to this, there's a north-south divide in England. These girls I was talking to are southern girls, whereas I'm a northerner with a distinct accent. Southerners are often dubbed "southern pansies" and northerners "northern monkeys". I think the fact that I just initiated a conversation with them may be quite foreign, adding to my '****y' appearance.

After I shrugged the comments off, things pretty much went back to normal. Should I take that as pulling it off?

And I'm the Midlands! No, i'm not a Southerner or a Northern. You're all bastards in you're own ways
Yeah, I can see how that can happen. Northern that thinks well of himself without any regard for social 'acceptance.
Can go the other way as well - southerns that think they are entitled to everything, whilst the Northerners let the **** to keep rolling over them.

 

[shaunuk]

pfft, you better not be some posh **** from Solihull or worse yet, some pirate from Dudley Is it weird not being either northerner or southerner btw?

yeah I usually get taken for some Noel Gallagher-esque scally from Manchester but the reality is that I'm just a bit rougher round the edges than most southern pansies I'm just gonna keep being a knob like I've become accustomed to

 

[Interceptor]

Does being called and treated like you are arrogant make you happy?
Is this the kind of dynamic you like when interacting with women?

If so,then this is part of the territory. You can get over it.
If you 'dont give a fvck' then walk the walk and dont give a fvck. Doing so means you dont care about anyone's feelings about the whole matter anyway. So why bring in feeling's into this equation?



If not, then why are you doing it?




There IS a difference between confident and arrogant.
Its important to know the difference.

Bottom line is What kind of Man do YOU want to be?

If you're happy, then everything's cool. (If youre happy with yourself, but everyone around you isnt, then logic would state to investigate the matter, and if its an unfavorable situation then to change it. So this would start to show that one can be happy with oneself, BUT have behaviors/choices that are inconsiderate of others. Which creates conflict.)

The problem lies if youre not happy with this pattern...

 

[BongDuy]

reply " you're sexy"

 

[trajhenkhet02]

If your getting results, don't read into it too much. When "****y" becomes out of style you'll know when your not getting any

 

[shaunuk]

Good thoughts Interceptor.

I don't get told I'm arrogant constantly, it is on occasion, particularly when I feel the girl(s) is/are intimidated by confidence.

But yeah, basically this doesn't bother me at all. I just wanted all your input to get opinions on what these insinuations show. I am happy in general with myself and I by no means go around in life with everyone else thinking i'm an ass.

Thanks guys

 

[Hughman]

pfft, you better not be some posh **** from Solihull or worse yet, some pirate from Dudley Is it weird not being either northerner or southerner btw?

yeah I usually get taken for some Noel Gallagher-esque scally from Manchester but the reality is that I'm just a bit rougher round the edges than most southern pansies I'm just gonna keep being a knob like I've become accustomed to

No, it's not weird. We are who we are. Tbf I've lived the majority of my life (only just now, hehe) outside of the UK.

I like Solihull, though yes, they do think highly of themselves. I'm from Sutton Coldfield, which is like the slightly rougher/smaller version of Solihull in north Birmingham.

Right carrying on who you are. I realised that fact - I always pandered to people because I thought that was the 'right' thing to do. Fvck that ****, I'll act how I want. Other people can pander to me.

 

[Snowman23]

Being called arrogant isn't really a good thing. You're either laying it on too thick or trying too hard. And girls who know better view that as insecurity.

I don't know why so many guys are dead-set on proving to girls they "don't give a fk".

Keep it subtle.

 

[LyteOrchestra]

shaunuk - noel gallagher is the man. keep it up.