Your Uncle Atom is Engaged

[The Duke]

Congrats Sir!

 

[Von]

Very happy for you Atom. Great news.

This is way off topic, but how do you reconcile the “feeling superior” to women with your Christian faith?

I support what you are saying from a “frame” or “game” perspective*, but I personally feel guilty if I’m anything but humble around others (including females).

*Hate those terms but just using for clarity.

I will put my 2cent, living Atom experience. Not going to take the spotlight.

I've come across that the Christians who follow a Christian faith upbringing. In my case: Catholics.

Women are raised with the "traditional" view.

Women are raised within Y box (supporting the men need/taking care of household/being a mom/raise the kids/house wife sometimes/giving themselves up)

Men are raised within X box (authority of the family especially in public, main income provider, handle decisions, take care of leading, financial resources)

In short, the christians followers haven't "changed" from the "traditional view"... even if the women work.

They also like work that allows Family-Work conciliation and institutional work (public system, government, schools etc).

So in the Christian. Faith everyone is drilled into a frame/box.

What happened with feminism/modernity/liberation of sex....? People destroyed that box into a " make your own box" in favor of women becoming men, men turning into women.

The Faith,maintained a divide (frame) based on biological gender.

It's amazing really.


Atom, congrats hope you'll have a happy married life.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Very happy for you Atom. Great news.

This is way off topic, but how do you reconcile the “feeling superior” to women with your Christian faith?

I support what you are saying from a “frame” or “game” perspective*, but I personally feel guilty if I’m anything but humble around others (including females).

*Hate those terms but just using for clarity.

As I said, @Mike32ct, that's an excellent question and I've been waiting for 3 years for someone to ask it.

What I mean is that men are clearly superior to women in physical strength, ability to think rationally, ability to concentrate like a laser on a job at-hand, and superior in his ability to lead others. Men are clearly superior in their innate ability to differentiate between objective truth and deception. We are willing and able to die for our principles. We place a high value on loyalty and living by principle.

Having said all that, men today are quickly losing these superior qualities and are thinking more and more like women; even some men here. Men are being shamed away from embracing their strengths.

The kind of superiority I'm talking about is not about superiority in worth. Women have wonderful qualities and strengths that we men lack. We can take empathy, gentleness, desire and ability to nurture, as some examples.

Each gender needs each other. I often say that women are the stormy ocean, and men are the rocky, unchanging shoreline from which they receive their limits. Absent the rocky shoreline, with no boundaries, the ocean will flood over the land and become so thin and shallow as to evaporate and form into random, shallow puddles. This is what we are witnessing today as the shoreline rocks are quickly eroding because of feminism, fear of rejection, and shame. The rocky shoreline has become sand and the water is running over its established boundaries.

"If it keeps on rainin', the levee's goin' to break..."

Women tend to be naturally aimless and unable to self-define without man's guidance. They cannot lead themselves, and without male guidance they literally mentally and emotionally dis-integrate. What happens to the water if the cup disappears?

God made us men to lead, protect, and define boundaries. Women, deep inside, crave a man who can provide this, but they are constantly bombarded by the media to believe this isn't so. Therefore, on the surface, they "feel" one thing, but their inner core tells them something else. Women innately know that they are weak, hence the constant and laughable statements we see all over the place: "I'm a strong, powerful confident woman". LOL, when you're strong and confident you certainly don't need to verbalize it. You live it. Every singe women who makes it big in industry or the media must adapt male characteristics and voice inflection. They must abandon most of their beautiful femininity. This is because the role is foreign to their nature. They become poorly functioning, damaged copies of men.

The bible clearly defines the male as the leader. He commands women to be submissive to the man. The man, in turn, is to be a leader and the dominant force in the relationship. However, is to be a sacrificial leader, always looking our for the well-being of those whom he leads. In fact, God clearly outlines the order of authority: God, Jesus, man, woman, child. The woman is to be the man's helper (helping him to achieve his purpose and God-directed goals in his life), and she is not to teach or have authority over men in the church.

My personal theory is that both genders were designed to moderate the extremes of the other. Man needed his hard edges to be softened, and women needed man's guidance.

Since we are superior in strength, intellect, rational thought, ability to lead wisely and sacrificially, ability to take a step back from an issue and think it through, ability to apply powerful concentration to a problem that most women can't even comprehend, then we should embrace these strengths and live them unashamedly in our day to day lives.

Women are very much like children in that they need protection and guidance and discipline. On the surface they will rail against this idea, but what they respond favorably to is a man who innately knows this and embraces it and lives it.

So when I say that men are superior, I refer to our innate strengths and our God-given mandate to lead and be in charge, wisely and compassionately. When a woman finds this, she finds gold and she rapidly sheds the protective veneer of feminism.

Here's what made me successful with women: I started to judge them. I hold them accountable. I don't go for this nonsense of not saying anything else I'll appear weak and beta, or "reactive". This is truly nonsense. Women need to be put in their place and they want to be put in their place. That's where these sh!t tests come from. Fortunately for me, I always start out with good raw material so I don't need to handle those tests. All I need to do is firmly train and guide where needed.

There is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who deals with them from a position of authority. They cannot date down. They despise the thought of being with a man whom they can't look up to. They want to be submissive to a man of personal power, a man whom they perceive as more powerful than they. So they bluff and bluster to find out the mettle of a man. They are looking for a man who will put them in their place, who will not stand for their nonsense. When they find such a man, they are ready and willing and able to submit. They instinctively know that such a man will take care of them and they will therefore gladly serve him.

You mentioned being humble. The paradox is that when a man lives in the way I describe, there is room in there for being a kind, friendly, respectful gentleman. Humble for humble' sake is a recipe for losing respect from others. Jesus was humble and friendly, but he also kicked some serious butt when it was appropriate. I think of his overturning the vendors' tables in the synagogue and forming a whip to drive them out. He spoke kindly to others, but he also made it hurt if someone spoke out of turn or blasphemed God.

As in everything in life, it's a fine line between living in humility and living as a man of strength.

Make no mistake: Women generally find simple humility repulsive. They like boldness and authority. I used to be one of those weak guys with that sing-songy over-friendly vibe in my voice. That voice that says "Don't worry, you've nothing to fear from me." Nowadays, my voice conveys that I'm friendly, respectful and fun to be around, but it also conveys (along with my body language) that you don't want to trifle with me because I will call you out. I don't do that calling out in displays of anger usually, but rather in verbally exposing their foolishness. Another example might be my turning my back on a woman who is testing. That is like a punch in the gut to a woman, especially if others see it.

I know that as usual I'm all over the place here, and going off on tangents as is my custom, but the gist of what I wanted to say is that humility before God and man is a good thing, but humility is an offshoot of strength. It's sort of like a vine that is supported by a wall (strength). Women really do despise humility without strength. Men don't like it either. For me, developing strength and tempering it with humility is the proper balance.

Biblically speaking, God often brings a man to complete humility before Him, so that He can work with him and call the shots. But he gave these men mighty strength before men, within which they were able to dispense kindness, humility borne of strength, and self-sacrifice.

All of life is a paradox. For me, the scriptures have helped me understand those paradoxes, and put that understanding into practice. These things are spiritually discerned, not naturally. Hence my value of the bible and its teachings.

Again, my apologies for rambling all over the place.

 

[HOOVERMEBABY]

RIP @Atom Smasher

 

[Mike32ct]

Thank you Atom. Will slowly digest all that and respond later.

 

[Roober]

Congrats atom!

Some of the pessimism is surprising. You guys are acting like atom hasnt been around the block for a couple years.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Thanks @Roober.

Frankly I expected more pessimism. Most are quite happy for me, as they know who I am.

Many thanks to all the guys and gals who expressed congrats.

 

[Mike32ct]

As I said, @Mike32ct, that's an excellent question and I've been waiting for 3 years for someone to ask it.

I was thinking about this for about a year, but just finally brought it up.

What I mean is that men are clearly superior to women in physical strength, ability to think rationally, ability to concentrate like a laser on a job at-hand, and superior in his ability to lead others. Men are clearly superior in their innate ability to differentiate between objective truth and deception. We are willing and able to die for our principles. We place a high value on loyalty and living by principle.

Having said all that, men today are quickly losing these superior qualities and are thinking more and more like women; even some men here. Men are being shamed away from embracing their strengths.

The kind of superiority I'm talking about is not about superiority in worth. Women have wonderful qualities and strengths that we men lack. We can take empathy, gentleness, desire and ability to nurture, as some examples.

Yes. I could never multi-task like the women in my office do. They totally kick my azz in that area.

But, on the hand, I can focus/analyze (and single-task) and see/understand things at a deep level that others might not.

Each gender needs each other. I often say that women are the stormy ocean, and men are the rocky, unchanging shoreline from which they receive their limits. Absent the rocky shoreline, with no boundaries, the ocean will flood over the land and become so thin and shallow as to evaporate and form into random, shallow puddles. This is what we are witnessing today as the shoreline rocks are quickly eroding because of feminism, fear of rejection, and shame. The rocky shoreline has become sand and the water is running over its established boundaries.

"If it keeps on rainin', the levee's goin' to break..."

Women tend to be naturally aimless and unable to self-define without man's guidance. They cannot lead themselves, and without male guidance they literally mentally and emotionally dis-integrate. What happens to the water if the cup disappears?

God made us men to lead, protect, and define boundaries. Women, deep inside, crave a man who can provide this, but they are constantly bombarded by the media to believe this isn't so. Therefore, on the surface, they "feel" one thing, but their inner core tells them something else. Women innately know that they are weak, hence the constant and laughable statements we see all over the place: "I'm a strong, powerful confident woman". LOL, when you're strong and confident you certainly don't need to verbalize it. You live it. Every singe women who makes it big in industry or the media must adapt male characteristics and voice inflection. They must abandon most of their beautiful femininity. This is because the role is foreign to their nature. They become poorly functioning, damaged copies of men.

The bible clearly defines the male as the leader. He commands women to be submissive to the man. The man, in turn, is to be a leader and the dominant force in the relationship. However, is to be a sacrificial leader, always looking our for the well-being of those whom he leads. In fact, God clearly outlines the order of authority: God, Jesus, man, woman, child. The woman is to be the man's helper (helping him to achieve his purpose and God-directed goals in his life), and she is not to teach or have authority over men in the church.

Absolutely.

My personal theory is that both genders were designed to moderate the extremes of the other. Man needed his hard edges to be softened, and women needed man's guidance.

We are definitely designed to compliment each other (and yeah moderate as well).

Since we are superior in strength, intellect, rational thought, ability to lead wisely and sacrificially, ability to take a step back from an issue and think it through, ability to apply powerful concentration to a problem that most women can't even comprehend, then we should embrace these strengths and live them unashamedly in our day to day lives.

Yes. Men should always embrace their strengths.

Women are very much like children in that they need protection and guidance and discipline. On the surface they will rail against this idea, but what they respond favorably to is a man who innately knows this and embraces it and lives it.

So when I say that men are superior, I refer to our innate strengths and our God-given mandate to lead and be in charge, wisely and compassionately. When a woman finds this, she finds gold and she rapidly sheds the protective veneer of feminism.

Here's what made me successful with women: I started to judge them. I hold them accountable. I don't go for this nonsense of not saying anything else I'll appear weak and beta, or "reactive". This is truly nonsense. Women need to be put in their place and they want to be put in their place. That's where these sh!t tests come from. Fortunately for me, I always start out with good raw material so I don't need to handle those tests. All I need to do is firmly train and guide where needed.

Yes, I noticed that you mentioned this before several times in other posts. This is the part that got me thinking about this topic.

There is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who deals with them from a position of authority. They cannot date down. They despise the thought of being with a man whom they can't look up to. They want to be submissive to a man of personal power, a man whom they perceive as more powerful than they. So they bluff and bluster to find out the mettle of a man. They are looking for a man who will put them in their place, who will not stand for their nonsense. When they find such a man, they are ready and willing and able to submit. They instinctively know that such a man will take care of them and they will therefore gladly serve him.

You mentioned being humble. The paradox is that when a man lives in the way I describe, there is room in there for being a kind, friendly, respectful gentleman. Humble for humble' sake is a recipe for losing respect from others. Jesus was humble and friendly, but he also kicked some serious butt when it was appropriate. I think of his overturning the vendors' tables in the synagogue and forming a whip to drive them out. He spoke kindly to others, but he also made it hurt if someone spoke out of turn or blasphemed God.

Agreed.

As in everything in life, it's a fine line between living in humility and living as a man of strength.

Make no mistake: Women generally find simple humility repulsive. They like boldness and authority. I used to be one of those weak guys with that sing-songy over-friendly vibe in my voice. That voice that says "Don't worry, you've nothing to fear from me." Nowadays, my voice conveys that I'm friendly, respectful and fun to be around, but it also conveys (along with my body language) that you don't want to trifle with me because I will call you out. I don't do that calling out in displays of anger usually, but rather in verbally exposing their foolishness. Another example might be my turning my back on a woman who is testing. That is like a punch in the gut to a woman, especially if others see it.

Yes, my experience has been that simple humility is not attractive to women at all. At best, it leads to friendzone. At worst, they can actually hate such a guy.

They can't (or refuse to) see the difference between a very chill guy who picks his battles (and ignores the small stuff) and a guy who actually IS weak. They might just assume that the very chill/humble guy IS weak because they can't see any OVERT signs of "strength." This is unfortunate.

So boldness/authority is required.

I know that as usual I'm all over the place here, and going off on tangents as is my custom, but the gist of what I wanted to say is that humility before God and man is a good thing, but humility is an offshoot of strength. It's sort of like a vine that is supported by a wall (strength). Women really do despise humility without strength. Men don't like it either. For me, developing strength and tempering it with humility is the proper balance.

Biblically speaking, God often brings a man to complete humility before Him, so that He can work with him and call the shots. But he gave these men mighty strength before men, within which they were able to dispense kindness, humility borne of strength, and self-sacrifice.

All of life is a paradox. For me, the scriptures have helped me understand those paradoxes, and put that understanding into practice. These things are spiritually discerned, not naturally. Hence my value of the bible and its teachings.

Again, my apologies for rambling all over the place.

Thanks Atom. I couldn't ask for a more comprehensive reply.

 

[zekko]

The bible clearly defines the male as the leader. He commands women to be submissive to the man. The man, in turn, is to be a leader and the dominant force in the relationship. However, is to be a sacrificial leader, always looking our for the well-being of those whom he leads. In fact, God clearly outlines the order of authority: God, Jesus, man, woman, child. The woman is to be the man's helper (helping him to achieve his purpose and God-directed goals in his life), and she is not to teach or have authority over men in the church.

Ephesians 5:23:
"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."