Your thoughts please

[cNfny]

This convo involves a ljbf girl. Who I have made my attention to very scarce. What do you get out of it?

Her: you should come to turkey with me and we can stop in Paris! haha

Me: listen

Me: Haha No

Me: Unless by some freak accident we date by then

Her: i dont get why we have to be dating

Me: That's the only way I see it happening sorry

Her: haha ok freak

 

[The Sperminator]

Bad move you should of just agreed to go. Why else would she want you to go with her? I doubt she would want you to go with her just as friends unless like your are her best friend. She obviously likes you. Sometimes playing hard to get will backfire. You have to know when you are doing it too much.

 

[cNfny]

Well in her mind we are "best friends" and she is currently talkin to someone. So I was quick to believe she just wanted some comforting company from a friend.

 

[Stuntmann]

You are telling her you want to date her. Although, in your mind you think you telling her there is nothing possible between you two as friends. There is difference. She knows you want her, but can't have her, that's a big ego boost.


Proper way is:


Her: you should come to turkey with me and we can stop in Paris! haha

Me: Uhm. I'm going to dinner party with this girl. When are you going?

Her: Blah blah, Friday.

Me: Nah. I have some plans.




Disinterest in her = talking about yourself, and not carying about her at all. Telling her that she made a mistake by not dating you is like telling her you're interested in her. Up your value.

 

[cNfny]

I didn't convey she made a mistake by not dating me. I was makin a point that something like that I'd only consider with a gf or potential gf not low interest girl who only wants to be friends.

 

[Stuntmann]

It does not appear to me that you've conveyed that clearly. It looks much more like you conveyed what I said before.


Further more, there is no need to convey what you just said. It's self ego boosting, you need to know that, but telling them that, not so much. Because now she knows how to get you. You told her that. Means you're interested in her. Showing disinterest is what's needed.

 

[cNfny]

More to the convo:
Me: When you goin to turkey?

Her: not sure

Me: Hmm sounds like ill have a date around then anyway

Her: you know not all girls like jerks

Her: prob in january or after march whenever its cheapest

Me: Yea I definetly have a date then
How long you stayin for?

Her: im not sure a year or two

Me: So I'd be on vacation too then

 

[cNfny]

....

 

[cNfny]

More thoughts please

 

[Pimp-sicle]

More thoughts please

Over-analyzing a dead-end situation.




PIMP

 

[KontrollerX]

Pimp-sicle is probably right but if you two are going to be in Turkey if I've read the conversation right and in close vicinity to eachother something could happen with you if she gets lonely enough and you play on her loneliness.

That or she finds some other guy in Turkey to get with instead lol.

 

[cNfny]

Ha. Well over all how do you think I handled the conversation?

 

[KontrollerX]

Well I like how you barrelled through on the second part and didn't respond to her saying "not all girls like jerks" lol.

Other than that not much else to reply on dude.

Anyway I've got a feeling if you keep working on her (if you want and spin other plates on the side of course) and be a mystery and just keep improving yourself she could come around.

 

[The Juan and only]

:cuss: godammit cNfny, I don't want you to fail man.

Stuntman is right on the money. Not well handled at all, for so many reasons.

Like he said, I think you may've misunderstood some concepts or read material written by a fukwad retard (I seem to recall Ross J saying something about this)

but whatever you believe, don't think you can blackmail a girl into liking you by denying friendship. It will never ever work.

For a start, people need to decide they are sexually attracted to you "on their own", and it's a subconscious (illogical) process. You can't persuade someone to go out with you directly and unsubtle, ultimately needy, attempts to take control won't help you either.

Needy needy needy, and frames her as the prize. Not good.

 

[cNfny]

I understand and with this girl I'm always throwing mixed signals if any at all. And it doesn't bother me if she rejects or talks to others etc. I just want to be able to retort in the most affective way to trigger attraction. I haven't denied the friendship I just very well limit it.

 

[The Juan and only]

I understand that's what you think you're doing, but she's more savvy than you realise. You say mixed signals, I say she's sure you want her, and that lowers your value.

What you said in that short exchange makes it clear you're interested, even to me. And giving ultimatums makes you seem weak.

I just want to be able to retort in the most affective way to trigger attraction

I appreciate that, and by my guess, so does she. It's far better to completely ignore any talk of a relationship between you two -- let her know you aren't even thinking about it while all the time subtly working on and increasing your value to her.

 

[cNfny]

Its funny how much harder the "game" is with a friend than any new girl. Almost makes you forget how you should be ha. But besides that what would have been the best way to reply to the first part? Something like "what? So you can use being across country as an excuse to ravage me? Pathetic tisk tisk" or something? Ha

 

[The Juan and only]

Its funny how much harder the "game" is with a friend than any new girl. Almost makes you forget how you should be ha. But besides that what would have been the best way to reply to the first part? Something like "what? So you can use being across country as an excuse to ravage me? Pathetic tisk tisk" or something? Ha

Tell me 'bout it!

na, I wouldn't go with that either man. A line like that still betrays your interest and shows what you're thinking about. I mean, why would you say such a thing if you really didn't care about her?

It'd be ok with a fresh girl you were on good terms with (meaning she's shown a few IOIs), since it's then ok to be playful and flirty in that way (it doesn't represent neediness) -- she won't have her barriers up and you're much more likely to get the desired effect. You see what I'm saying?

Something like stuntmanns answer would be best, in my opinion ofc. Unfortunately converting friends when you've already fvcked up is very difficult.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Her: haha ok freak

I have a pronlem with this statement!! It means you went overboard with your dating comment but I don't think that makes you a freak!

 

[cNfny]

so act disinterested as if she was really a girl i wasnt sexually attracted to? how can i do this yet retain a friendship with her? for example, if im constantly blowing her off saying im busy, wont she eventually get the hint and stop all attempts/communication?