Your opinion on this sad situation

[Splunghe]

Hi!

So this is my first post, and a good story to begin with.

The thing is this, I'm in a relationship with my GF for 4 years.She's my first (and only) GF, the first (and only) I've kissed, I've had sex with, basically everything. She really wants to marry. This has been the case for over 1,5 years. I wanted to marry her, but I didn't want to make specific plans. First I wanted to finish my study. I've always seen her a lot, even though we live 100 km apart. I usually visited her. Now my study requires me to be in my town a lot of the times. This has been the case since october. In that time she has started feeling more insecure (less attention from me, still no certainty about marriage/further steps). So then the christmas holiday kicks in. She tells me all this and I decide, heck! If Im staying with this girl, why not marry her earlier.
Little less than a month later she tells me she had sex with another guy durying this holiday, because of insecurity, attention and bla bla. She says she's really sorry, that it was a one time mistake blabla. After she tells me I feel really insecure and I act really clingy (I know...don't ask). Then a week or so later I take a step back, look at the situation and I start hating her for what she did. At the same time I notice a female friend, we've been friends for a long time, but we never actually talked. But now we do. A lot. I like this girl, she doesn't like me in that way though (just good friends, or so a friend of her told me). I still haven't broke up with my GF, but I hardly see her anymore. She begs me to come back, but I don't feel like it.

So the situation is this:
-I know this whole PUA thing, but I can't bring it into practice;
-I feel really insecure, since, apart from my GF, no girl has ever shown interest and I'm always "just the good friend";
-I feel really ugly (been called that a lot of times, especially in the past, before I met my GF);

I know I should dump my GF. I know I should act like a man. Only problem is, I feel far to insecure to stand on my own. Sure, if I could get some other girl, no problem.

I don't really come here with a specific question, but I just want to hear what you recommend or something

 

[Tiguere]

she fvcked another guy DUMP HER.
you are in college and women are dreamkillers so DUMP HER.

READ THE DJ BIBLE. BOTTOM LEFT LINK

 

[Splunghe]

READ THE DJ BIBLE. BOTTOM LEFT LINK

Link doesn't work.

 

[Drdeee]

If you come back to her, try to reconcile, the law of womaniverse dictates it's ok to treat you like trash because you will always come back. I suggest you do this to her.


Start here and see your position in her life. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=16420
Chances are you wouldn't want her anyway after reading this.


Here is the book of pook. http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/Downloads/The Book of Pook.pdf


Here is the boot camp. http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/Downloads/djbc.pdf



Honestly man, it's not a sad story at all. Sad story is when guy goes nutz over a chick (or a dude that pretends to be a chick) that he met in a 2D asteroid game. Falls in love with her, get jealous over her chatting with other 2D asteroid players, and eventually looses her. That's really sad.

I noticed that all good comes from bad. You loose a job, you find a better one or open your business. You loose a girl in 2D asteroid game you come across DJ bible. It goes like this, so I tell you this is a good story that helped change your life.



P.S. Stay friends with your female friends, if you fall in love with her, which you are bound to do if you don't find a girl, you will loose her as a friend. You'll find plenty of women through her.

 

[Splunghe]

I noticed that all good comes from bad. You loose a job, you find a better one or open your business. You loose a girl in 2D asteroid game you come across DJ bible. It goes like this, so I tell you this is a good story that helped change your life.

That's easy to say, but when it's your 1st girlfriend and you feel like you're less than crap, getting back in the saddle is kind of hard.

P.S. Stay friends with your female friends, if you fall in love with her, which you are bound to do if you don't find a girl, you will loose her as a friend. You'll find plenty of women through her.

I have lots of female friends (sigh) and I do not wish for any more. Rather I'd have one see me as more.

This whole situation has made me so depressed. I feel like I'm worth nothing. I mean, I have a nice study and I live in a wealthy land. I have some friends so I'm not all alone, but when it comes to being popular or getting the girl I want, it's never happening. I just wish for some girl to show interest in me to slightly increase my ego.

 

[Progress]

That's easy to say, but when it's your 1st girlfriend and you feel like you're less than crap, getting back in the saddle is kind of hard.

I feel like I'm worth nothing. I mean, I have a nice study and I live in a wealthy land. I have some friends so I'm not all alone, but when it comes to being popular or getting the girl I want, it's never happening. I just wish for some girl to show interest in me to slightly increase my ego.

Sounds like me before my first gf, all is not lost!

Firstly, the chances are a few of the female friends probably thought you were ****able, so no worries about no one liking you.

But...if you want women to become attracted to you, the best way to go about it is to be come an attractive man!

Be:

High value - women want to be drawn into your reality, not the other way round. Get comfortable with socialising to the extent that decent social proof is simply a part of your life.

Groomed - Dress like you feel, if you feel like a bad ass mofo, go pack on some muscle and dress like one. If you feel like a poor artist or musician, dress like one. Fashion is about complimenting your own identity.

Cool- Exciting to be around, live in the moment. Be a whirlwind in a club, yet still have the capability to be polite to her parents and lovely to her friends.

Be a MAN - Lead the decision making! Know what to do and where, be an effective communicator. Don't let her manipulate you like her dad or other ex's.

Authentic Self-Worth - Who you are on the outside must match the inside, and you should know you're worthy of anyone whilst at the same time accepting your imperfections! Lack of desperation and ACCEPTING THAT YOU HAVE FLAWS (only the ones that cant be changed, mind you )

 

[Splunghe]

Sounds like me before my first gf, all is not lost!

I already have had my 1st GF...which makes it somewhat harder, since I now know what I miss

Firstly, the chances are a few of the female friends probably thought you were ****able, so no worries about no one liking you.

I know for a fact that it's true. There have been some girls that have liked me, but that was all in the past. I used to be pretty good looking for some time, but I gained some weight (not even a lot) and I lost most of my hair.

High value - women want to be drawn into your reality, not the other way round. Get comfortable with socialising to the extent that decent social proof is simply a part of your life.

High value...I have that. I'm studying for a profession that is in the top 3 of most wanted professions (that girls want their guys to be). Also, I'm going to make over 100.000 as soon as I graduate (in 2-3 years).
Other than that I don't really have time (study) to make myself interesting.

Groomed - Dress like you feel, if you feel like a bad ass mofo, go pack on some muscle and dress like one. If you feel like a poor artist or musician, dress like one. Fashion is about complimenting your own identity.

I know this might sound strange, but I don't know who I am...as in I don't really have a 'thing'. I like all sorts of music, I'm not really a sport guy, but not a total lazy ass either. I like to dress nice, but not too nice. I'm not really on an extreme of the spectre.

Cool- Exciting to be around, live in the moment. Be a whirlwind in a club, yet still have the capability to be polite to her parents and lovely to her friends.

I don't know how to do the 1st. The 2nd isn't that hard. Just get me past the 'get a girl to like you' phase and it's peanuts for me.

Be a MAN - Lead the decision making! Know what to do and where, be an effective communicator. Don't let her manipulate you like her dad or other ex's.

Again, just get me that girl and it'll happen.

Authentic Self-Worth - Who you are on the outside must match the inside, and you should know you're worthy of anyone whilst at the same time accepting your imperfections! Lack of desperation and ACCEPTING THAT YOU HAVE FLAWS (only the ones that cant be changed, mind you )

I know I have flaws, but I don't know my strong points. Heck! How can I be on the outside if I don't know how to look on the outside, let alone who I am on the inside.

Thnx for your post though, you do make sense! It's just that you tell the "do's and don'ts" but not the "how to's"...I kind of need that atm

 

[SharinganUser]

Again, just get me that girl and it'll happen.

No, you have to do it yourself, for yourself.

 

[Splunghe]

I meant it more in a "once I get a girl, I know what to do"...it's just the initial making of the spark that I can't do..

 

[SharinganUser]

I meant it more in a "once I get a girl, I know what to do"...it's just the initial making of the spark that I can't do..

'Can't is the cancer of happen' - Charlie Sheen

If you don't believe that you can make that spark happen then it probably won't.

 

[Splunghe]

'Can't is the cancer of happen' - Charlie Sheen

If you don't believe that you can make that spark happen then it probably won't.

I'm not bi-winning, so I dunno if that goes for me...

 

[Progress]

High value...I have that. I'm studying for a profession that is in the top 3 of most wanted professions (that girls want their guys to be). Also, I'm going to make over 100.000 as soon as I graduate (in 2-3 years).
Other than that I don't really have time (study) to make myself interesting.

Who would YOU rather be around, someone who earns a lot but doesn't know who he is and is, as a result of that, pretty boring! Or...someone who works in a pub who is comfortable and confident within himself and is exciting company for hours on end.

Anyway, by high value I meant social value. A guy with lots of girlFRIENDS who still acts like a man is actually pretty rare.

I know this might sound strange, but I don't know who I am...as in I don't really have a 'thing'. I like all sorts of music, I'm not really a sport guy, but not a total lazy ass either. I like to dress nice, but not too nice. I'm not really on an extreme of the spectre.

Get Hobbies, Get a Life! If you study, cool, so do I - I still do gym but not sports, met people in there for example. It's about being social to everyone in that respect. Talk to anyone, lecturers after the lecture or whatever just to talk, to SOCIALISE. You don't improve your social life without socialising

And as far as identity goes, only you can figure that one out. Try watching films and picking characters that appeal to you, meld them together. The characters are written as the perfect manifestation of an identity. You need strength in yourself.

I don't know how to do the 1st. The 2nd isn't that hard. Just get me past the 'get a girl to like you' phase and it's peanuts for me.


Again, just get me that girl and it'll happen.

Don't talk rubbish, the first thing I learn't when I came here was that you won't be happy with a girl until you're happy without one. Otherwise it's not you being happy, it's her and you feed off that. External validation isn't happiness, internal is.

I know I have flaws, but I don't know my strong points. Heck! How can I be on the outside if I don't know how to look on the outside, let alone who I am on the inside.

Write a list or something, YOU MUST KNOW!! Accentuate your strengths, minimise the weaknesses, and build from within. It's mainly 'inner game'

(

 

[Splunghe]

My god...
I just had a conversation with a girl that is classically something for this site.
She told me that I was her type, but that I'm just a friend (and one of her best). She told me (didn't ask her) that I listen to her and that she doesn't see me as more of a friend. She sees another guy as maybe more, because he is hard to read and hard to get + doesn't listen to her.
Basically I have had the most classic conversation there is about friendzones. I used to always think that there's a limit to how much this whole PUA **** works. That it's just an estimate (it might increase your chances by 10% or something) but no...it's right there! If it were a science it would be math, since it's not made out of "maybe's" but "definitivelies".
Even though I feel like crap about her saying that, it also gives me a boost to actually learn this stuff! And who knows what'll happen

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

It's not about applying DJ principle. It's about abiding by natural relationship rules. Once she cheated you should have broke up with her on the dot. I know you told her before that if she ever cheated your done with her. So are you liar?

 

[Iceberg]

It's not about applying DJ principle. It's about abiding by natural relationship rules. Once she cheated you should have broke up with her on the dot. I know you told her before that if she ever cheated your done with her. So are you liar?

You're the guy with the 4-page thread crying about how you stayed with a girl who cheated on you and now you've broken up again and your whole life fell apart.

I'm not normally a guy to throw a person's dirt back in their face, but you have to see the irony in this. Or is that your shtick? To be sort of a paradox?

 

[Splunghe]

You're the guy with the 4-page thread crying about how you stayed with a girl who cheated on you and now you've broken up again and your whole life fell apart.

I'm not normally a guy to throw a person's dirt back in their face, but you have to see the irony in this. Or is that your shtick? To be sort of a paradox?

I can imagine. Things are so easy to say and to analyse when you're not in it yourself.
I for one give/gave relationship advice to a lot of my friends. With success. At least 5 good relationships have come out of it thanks to step-by-step helping my friends get the girl.
Problem is, as soon as it's me, I freak out. That's me and psychology.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

You're the guy with the 4-page thread crying about how you stayed with a girl who cheated on you and now you've broken up again and your whole life fell apart.

I'm not normally a guy to throw a person's dirt back in their face, but you have to see the irony in this. Or is that your shtick? To be sort of a paradox?

It's easier lookin in... No doubt. But I know what I'm saying is the truth.