Your opinion of two questions

[IWBTTM]

1) I know recovering from a LJBF is possibly the hardest thing to pull off ever. But which situation do you think is the hardest to recover from:

-Getting LJBF after a few dates, kissing, making out, but no sex, and then getting in contact a few months later without anything in between (complete disappearance). Of course, given that the girl is receptive to the new contact for whatever motive.

-Getting LJBF after a few months of relationship and sex, and then after a few months apart - but you never truly disappeared (friends of friends, posts on facebook, seeing each other in public or social events...)

-Being a long time friend, make a move after a few years of friendship but get LJBF immediately.

2) When chatting with a girl online:

She initiates contact, of course with absolutely no charm at all (just "hello"). Then I talk to her a bit (text chat), but she's extremely bland and has no conversation skills. Seeing it going nowhere, I try to set up a meeting but she declines because of no availability on that day. I tell her we should do it the next day then but I still have to figure out at what time I am free, and I ask for her number. She ignores me asking for her number and says she's not available that day either.

Usually at this point, they stop replying to me even if I keep chatting. And until then, I also never had a girl initiate contact first and NOT answer favourably to either a date or exchanging numbers.

But here I keep chatting a bit (she is really boring btw) and then stop trying to keep the conversation going as she also frankly put me to sleep at that stage. Here she is, next morning, initiating contact by asking me what I'm up to.

Is she ever going to meet? I haven't said a single compliment, it's not like she can't find someone else to shower her with attention. Whats wrong with her...

 

[Obsidian]

With the second question, are you talking about online dating? The general rule is that you are not supposed to chat, but are instead supposed to ask them out within the first several rounds of questioning. And yeah, a lot of girls have terrible conversation skills.

I don't even understand the first question. What do you mean by "recover from"?

 

[IWBTTM]

Yes second question is online dating. Indeed I just chatted 5 short messages to show I'm not a complete creep and have a funny hook to bring up a date. She said not available twice and did not give her number. I continued with another 5-6 messages/questions, but she keeps replying... my experience so far has been they either avoid the date and will eventually stop replying (not the case here, she still chats) or they avoid the date but show high interest and try to keep a real conversation and make propositions to relocate the date (not the case here either).

First question, recover from = become more than a friend, either bang or have a relationship that is not only friendship.
Now I see how you could interpret it as "getting over her" but no, I'm talking about getting back in the game with her

 

[Obsidian]

Best way to convert her is to go no-contact. The same goes for your online lady, although probably only for a couple days with her.

 

[IWBTTM]

It's amazing when, just after securing a date for tomorrow earlier today, I suddenly could not care less about these two questions. Or rather, I completely agree with your view, my time is valuable, I don't have time for this ****.

I'm still very slow to get it, but every time I fail or get LJBF, I'm improving.

At first, I accepted LJBF in a panic.

Then, I thought, I should wait as long as possible and have a few other plates spinning before contacting miss LJBF so I dont **** it up.

Later still, I thought that no, SHE should be the one contacting me if she wants friendship. When I wanted to date her, so I was flirting and courting her. If she wants friendship, she has to work for it. I'm not the one that asked for friendship, I'm the idiot that let myself convince that friendship is what I wanted.

Later still, even if she felt genuine, even if we had a lot in common and good conversation... Every hour that passes I am more and more convinced that no, LJBF is just an excuse, and girls that say that don't actually want any real friendship. I just know that she will never follow up unless I give her attention / any more confirmation.

At the moment, I am thinking that if she ever contacts me, I'll just tell her that I'm not interested in just friends "call me if you want more" and walk away.

But I feel that given a bit more time, I won't even be bothered to respond to her if she were to contact me. I don't know when, but at some point, I will be totally indifferent.

And reading and posting on this forum is actually very therapeutic.