"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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your opinion about this girl.

Wasabi_Master

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I went through some threads and am not sure if my ex had bpd or daddy issues. So be so kind to explain.

We dated for 3 years (NC 1 month). Her dad left them when she was young and married another woman. Her mom is super strict and takes medications for anxiety, what mom says, the ex does. the ex used to see a psychologist for anorexia, self mutilation. she liked to be physically abused, and recently diagnosed with a form of depression.

my experience with her. A lot of fights (verbal) (mostly after her drinking). On 1 instance she threw glass objects at me. It was a like a see-saw where we had a few calm peaceful weeks and then a fight. She likes to abuse medications (mostly painkillers...) also smokes...

let me know if there is any other info i should post. :p
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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FallingAway85

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Doesn't sound like either - considering you said it goes for weeks where she was calm. As far as I know (I'm not an MD) BPD only goes for a few days or a week then switches. And daddy issues doesn't usually lead to the self-mutilation, etc.

She's just messed up in the head and needs to get in therapy ASAP. Seriously, call someone about her before she goes postal or kills herself. She needs to be in intense therapy or locked up; whichever is easier. I'm really hoping your not dating her.
 

Wasabi_Master

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well as i saw she is my ex (i was NC for a little over a month). arent anorexia and self mutilation a way to get attention? and people with BPD seek attention?

I forgot to mention that she loves psychology.
 

FallingAway85

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True - I dunno, in the end she seems like a genuine nut job to me. No real way to seed out the mental nut jobs from the genuine ones without spending some time especially if their good at it. Let it go man, plenty of nut jobs in the world if that's your thing.

Sounds morbid, but most serial killers are extremely good at social interactions, fitting in, and have a higher then normal IQ (i.e. Ted Bundy). Like fiction, look at Dexter (Showtime tv, I think). So the fact that she likes psychology may be a mind-f*ck in it's own right. Let it go man, toast one and laugh it up. Plenty of fish in the sea. Not really your problem anymore, and you can't save everyone; let some other dude deal with the issues.
 

tsmith2334

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I dated a woman that had similar traits.

For the love of God, next her.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Pimp-sicle

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FallingAway85 said:
Doesn't sound like either - considering you said it goes for weeks where she was calm. As far as I know (I'm not an MD) BPD only goes for a few days or a week then switches. And daddy issues doesn't usually lead to the self-mutilation, etc.

She's just messed up in the head and needs to get in therapy ASAP. Seriously, call someone about her before she goes postal or kills herself. She needs to be in intense therapy or locked up; whichever is easier. I'm really hoping your not dating her.

No offense but why are you replying to this thread when you don't know what your talking about?

First off the original poster is asking about BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and its very clear that you think he's asking about Bi-Polar Disorder... BIGGGGGG DIFFERENCE!

And daddy issues can DEFINITELY lead to self mutulation because these women have fears of abandonment which create anxiety and emotional pain within them. The self harm because to them it is a "release" from it all.

This girl definitely is a strong candidate for having BPD; although most Cluster B disorders manifest themselves with multiple disorders wrapped into one.


Was this girl a freak in bed? Did she abuse alcohol? We already know she was addicted to pain killers.... Go Google BPD and look at the DSM criteria for BPD; there's a list of about 25 traits.... it'll open your eyes.


Whatever you do don't break NC unless you want to invite yourself into hell twice.





PIMP
 

jophil28

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Wasabi_Master said:
thanks for the advice!!! i did next her... we broke up actually. In the future if a girl has a lot more guy friends than female friends is it a red flag?
Every one of her male "friends" is a red flag . Ten "friends" = ten red flags.
 
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