"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Your girlfriend sleeping in a guy's bed

slaog

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Effington said:
Hey guys,

A lot of interesting comments. Just to slightly flip the script, I wasn't writing this about my girlfriend. In fact, I don't have a girlfriend currently. My closest friends are girls, though, and on different ocassions all of them have slept over in my bed. I know, and am friends with, all their boyfriends, and I wouldn't mess that up.

I have a nice condo in the middle of the party district, so my place is very often the meeting spot, and afterhours party. However, as the saying goes, location location location...I could only afford a studio, and thus have no room for a couch, or any other adequate sleeping arrangements. Yes, they can sleep on the hard wood floor if they wanted to, but come on. I kinda felt as though one of them may have wanted to do something, but I had my barriers up, and besides, I could have been wrong...alcohol impairs judgement. In all cases, they stayed over because I drank too much to drive them home, and sending a girl off by herself at 3:00am in the party district is not exactly a safe move. The boyfriends were either out of town or just not answering their phone; hell, it's 3:00am.

I was just thinking about how I'd feel if I were in the guy's shoes. I find it interesting that more than a couple of you would say to dump her for doing what she did, when in reality there was no wrong done.

The part in bold is not surprising. You had to put your barriers up to stop anything from happening. What we're all saying is women shouldn't get into that situation in the first place.


Having said that, most women slept with you with no intention of cheating on their boyfriends. I'm going to change my mind about what I said earlier. I wouldn't dump my girlfriend if that happened and I thought nothing happened etc. This is because girls see it happening all the time and might think it's normal and an innocent thing to do. I would tell her that I wouldn't want it to happen again though.


Also, like Horaholic said, ask yourself why everybody feels it safe for women to sleep in your bed. At least you're not making any moves on them.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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dynamicallyidle

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You should dump her, but the very act of you asking in these forums indicates to me that you' don't have enough of a spine to follow through with that.
 

horaholic

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dynamicallyidle said:
You should dump her, but the very act of you asking in these forums indicates to me that you' don't have enough of a spine to follow through with that.
I guess some people just dont know how to fvcking read.

Scars said: That wouldn't fly with me. I'd immediately dump her. She obviously has no respect for you or the relationship, she should know better than that.

It's also going to throw her for a loop. When people ask why you split, she has nothing more to say than "I was a slut". Or "I slept in the a bed with his friend, I'm an idiot" it's going to make her feel like the little ***** that she is.
First of all, you need to learn how to read, as well. Secondly, that will not throw any girl for a loop. She would rationalize it, just like any other chick would. Her answer to the break up would be simply: "He was insecure," or "I cant be with someone who doesnt trust me," or some other backwards logic like that. Chicks dont take accountability, and will always make the male, the bad guy.
 

DJDamage

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I believe age also has something to do with it.

I expect only girls aged 18-22 to do this sort of thing. Therefore as a guy you shouldn't have a LTR with a girls this young to begin with because in this age they know they can get away with murder (you can date and fvck them but don't make them your girlfriend at that age).

Any chick older then 22 should already know better and her excuse is a bunch of B.S.
 
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