Your funny lines/act/story?

[Tomb]

Humor is essential for DJing. What lines/act/stories you tell to get them laughing?

 

[DJnoob]

I used to work with this 8.5 asian chick at starbux. EVERY morning when she came in, she would say "God I'm soo tired and hungry right now".

Finally, one day, I got sick of her line.. And told her in a sort of loud but jokingly voice "WHY DON'T YOU JUST, STARVE AND DIE"

and then she STARTED CRACKING UP like a muther f.

she goes "OMG, no one has ever told me that" and continues to laugh.

And so I started laughing as well

 

[fender85]

I had two last week. I live in a small town so the only real game I can do around here is if I'm out shopping (most of my gaming is spent out of town, usually in the place I'm moving to next month). Anyway, first was at a movie store. I was getting out of my car when my phone rang. I like having conversations in private, so I stood in the parking lot for 20 minutes while I was on the phone. Finally went inside and there were two girls working. One commented on why I was outside so long and I responded, "I was deciding which one of you I wanted . . . (paused for dramatic effect/sexual tension) . . . But then I just decided to get a movie." Got a great response with that one.

Also went to the grocery store to pick up cat food. I was in there the night before to pick up some groceries and one of the cashiers remembered me (which was a pretty obvious IOI in my opinion, considering she didn't even check me out the evening prior). So I explained that I was getting the cat food I forgot to get the night before and asked her if she thought cats would like grilled tuna and egg flavor, and how I thought it strange that they have all this tuna and steak flavored cat food, as if centuries ago wild cats were roaming the earth, diving into the ocean and hunting tuna, or singlehandedly taking down cows. Also talked about how I thought they should have field mouse and bird flavored cat food, as my cat seemed to prefer them. Also a highly successful little opener.

 

[sparky1981]

I don' think I have a line as such. If I'm in a bar (this is where I do most of mine) and see a chick that looks ok I'll just cruise and say "hi, hows it going?". Normally doing it face to face so as to get noticed. If she's not ineterest she will just ignore me. If she is I strike up a little conversation and normally work their number out of them or in some case's leave with them. Probaly my best remark was when I picked up a phone operator chick and said to her "I must have talked to you b4". If your wondering how that went their was an interesting situation involving me her and her girlfreind a few days later.

 

[Tomb]

Originally posted by fender85
"I was deciding which one of you I wanted . . ."

Also...asked her if she thought cats would like grilled tuna and egg flavor, and how I thought it strange that they have all this tuna and steak flavored cat food, as if centuries ago wild cats were roaming the earth, diving into the ocean and hunting tuna, or singlehandedly taking down cows. Also talked about how I thought they should have field mouse and bird flavored cat food, as my cat seemed to prefer them. Also a highly successful little opener.

haha sweet.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

I walked up to this really tall model-looking girl... she had to be about 6'6"...... she was REALLY tall.

I had this rediculous over exagerrated, funny, goofy expresson on my face, all wide-eyed and sh!t, and i just burst out in an overblown Jim Carrey style

"Holy fvck, you're tall!!!!!!! you must get ALL the chicks!!!!"


she saw that i was just being a goof ball, so she busted up laughing. I never thought it would work, and expected to get slapped or worse by this mammoth chick, but she was really cool about it. Needless to say i was in a crazy mood so i didn't really care what the outcome was either way. I never picked her up, but we had a good convo, and she was a wicked chick... just too tall for me, hahaha.

 

[Tomb]

Originally posted by The Bad Ass Canadian
I walked up to this really tall model-looking girl... she had to be about 6'6"...... she was REALLY tall.

I had this rediculous over exagerrated, funny, goofy expresson on my face, all wide-eyed and sh!t, and i just burst out in an overblown Jim Carrey style

"Holy fvck, you're tall!!!!!!! you must get ALL the chicks!!!!"


she saw that i was just being a goof ball, so she busted up laughing. I never thought it would work, and expected to get slapped or worse by this mammoth chick, but she was really cool about it. Needless to say i was in a crazy mood so i didn't really care what the outcome was either way. I never picked her up, but we had a good convo, and she was a wicked chick... just too tall for me, hahaha.

I dated a really tall chick one time, was awesome.

 

[sparky1981]

Originally posted by Tomb
I dated a really tall chick one time, was awesome.

Just curious: tall compared to you or to girls in general

 

[Tomb]

Originally posted by sparky1981
Just curious: tall compared to you or to girls in general

She's 6'3.

 

[NINJA PIMP]

I like to use stories that are relevant to the situation.

Yesterday at the park near my job there was this fine Latina sitting on a bench giving french fries to a squirrel. I walked over and told her to be careful. She gave me a puzzled look and asked why. Hehe, it was the perfect opening for my "when animals attack" bit...

"I saw a squirrel attack a man once. I'll never forget it. There he was, your average white collar joe walking through this very park. He was just whistling a tune and minding his own business when out of nowhere, this ball of fuzz comes flying out of the trees spread eagle with a shrill HISSSSS and lands squarely on the guys face. (pause for shock value)The little bugger must have really dug his claws in deep because the next couple of minutes I watched the guy struggling and screaming "GET IT OFF ME!! GET IT OFF!!!! AAAAGGHHH!!!!"

I act out the part of the guy here...the girl laughs and then I bust on her for laughing at the misfortunes of others. This makes her laugh harder for some reason and we ended up having a fun conversation that got me a mini date at that moment. We went to another park that had less squirrels and I got her number. We are going out tomorrow night!