Your dating a great woman... BUT....

SELF-MASTERY

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AS tony robbins would say, ppl need uncertainty. She's always there, good sex is always there, these things get boring after awhile.
 
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So you don't like obedient woman, do you Newman? :)

Maybe you need a woman that brings you up to a higher notch - one who will uplift you in all things in life. but since she seems to depend on you for everything you feel like you'll have to care for her as well as entertain her for the rest of your life - I can see where you see this as a burden.

A woman is a help-meet to a man - she should be helping you meet your goals in life - she is playing the supportive role as she should but I think you want someone that will bring more to the table - what that is only you know - it depends on your goals in life.
 

NewMan

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Maybe you need a woman that brings you up to a higher notch - one who will uplift you in all things in life. but since she seems to depend on you for everything you feel like you'll have to care for her as well as entertain her for the rest of your life - I can see where you see this as a burden
I think that is very true PRL. One of the great things about my ex was that she opened my life up to new and interesting things. I was extremely boring before I meet her and she changed me in more ways that I can count.

I can't say the same for my current gf.... and that's what I'm looking for - someone who brings something to the table and doesn't always rely on me.
 
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Let me add to my previous post...for some men your girl is the ideal because they (the man)are extremely busy in their pursuits and ambitious men need a support structure to handle the things that they do not want or could not do; thus, this type of woman that you have is a perfect fit (complementary) to this type of man (not to say that you are not ambitious).

Ultimately,your girl must complement you as a man and be supportive of your charge in life! Any woman can do this at the physical complementary level but it is in the non-physical areas of life where the challenge lies in finding "The One"!
 

Luveno

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NewMan,

when you've broken up with her, send her my way. As far as I can tell, she sounds great. The only problem is that she kinda hangs off you. Sure, it feels great to be admired but it can be tiring.

Instead of just breaking up with her, let her know that she's smothering you(but use nicer words)...tell her to be more independent and to have interests outside of you.

She sounds like a keeper to me. Just work out the bugs before doing something like dumping her.
 

icehot

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Newman,

yup. i've had the exact same thing happen to me. On "paper" the chick was perfect..yet, something always seemed to be missing.

There were no sparks..she seemed more like my buddy than my lover... In the end, I figured that the "chemistry" just wasn't there.

If you're not into her by now, you never will be. It's better to end it than to lead her on.

-iceH
 

Kaine

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Originally posted by SELF-MASTERY
AS tony robbins would say, ppl need uncertainty. She's always there, good sex is always there, these things get boring after awhile.
That's a profound statement.

When in a relationship that goes the distance, perhaps this is the secret element that keeps the sparks going?

It's so easy for either party to get comfortable, such hardwork.

I hate the fact that I get the feeling of not missing the girl, usually the period after your've spent a prolonged amount of time with that someone. Or when you're living together, keeping emotions alive is such a challenge.


Kaine
 

CLOONEY

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Originally posted by NewMan

Low Maintenance

Non demanding


Do these two points contradict what you say? Usually a girl that is too into you will not be these. They will let you have your space to some extent, and not be demanding in terms of normal whinging girl stuff, however, I have found that they are demanding in the fact that they are so into you.

I actually just broke up with my girlfriend who seemed perfect on paper, and like you, it made me loose respect for her that she was so in love with me.

Just wait till you break up.........!! My one went insane and started stalking me!
 

JackPrescott

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Yeah, the problem is that you hate being in a relationship. Lose her to another man, and then come back to the ranks of the undead (AKA single men) and you too can waste hundreds of dollars and hours of time on meaningless dates with women who have ZERO sexual interest in you, and deal with co*k blockers out at Da Clubs, and male competition, and women still in lust with their exes, and women who flirt just for fun, and the best part, is that you can forget about your sex life, you know, sex, a male and a female in bed naked, doing things to pleasure each other, sleeping in the nude, and all that good stuff?....The Hell with that, just get a subscription to Playboy, or better yet, put a Kleenix dispenser next to your PC and get on some good Jack Off Sites. Ever tried a pocket p*ssy? Or how abour a RealDoll?

Any of those options beats the hell out of an actual breathing sexy woman who actually wants you.
 

rookieposter

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I'd say -- don't break up without giving her a chance to change. You have perhaps gotten too used to her and are just seeking some challenge of novelty. Why don't you tell her directly that this is what you want, and ask her to change herself so that she gives you more space, and warn her that things will take a more negative turn otherwise. At least you'll help to improve her with this counsel.

Another way would be to force a temporary separation -- say force her to go for graduate studies, or you go. At the end of it, you'd know when you were better, together or separate. Breaking up doesn't leave you with a second chance -- but it may quite be that you are just subconsciously counting on getting that chance easily knowing her devotion to you. So you are just basking in the no-lose situation.

According to traditional wisdom though -- you should marry someone who loves you rather than someone whom you'd love. It saves a lot of pain later on. And you hardly have any apparent needling problem with her, which can't be remedied.
 

JackPrescott

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Originally posted by NewMan
So I'm dating a great woman for over a year now....



Never been in an argument.

Great sense of humor

Giving

Low Maintenance

Attractive

Young

Physically a very good relationship

Non demanding






Pretty much - on paper - exactly the kind of woman you'd want.

So what is the problem?

The hell if I know.

It's almost as if she's into me to much. Almost as if I've lost respect for her, paerhaps, because she's to into me.

I've not told her I love her - although she tells me all the time. She talks about the future.

I've tried to cool the relationship several times - and now only see her 2 times a week - although she calls me every day. Even though I've done that, it takes perhaps 2 weeks, before she assumes things are good again.


I don't know what my problem is.

Anyone encounter this?
A young attractive hottie that loves you, gives you great sex, and pretty much idolizes you?

YEECCHHH!! Who the hell wants that noise, what you need is a great dose of the SINGLES SCENE. Here is my advice.

Break up with her immidiatley, and start hanging out with your male bros, the former Frat Boys who are divorced or unmarried. Go to strip joints to celebrate your newly found freeedom, and drop 400.00 on a woman (All right gentlemen, next up on the Stage is ASIA!!!!Lets let her hear you hollah!!!) who would'nt let you f*** her, ever unless you raped her, and who walked to the next table as soon as the $$$ ran out....Then, after that, spend weekend, after weekend with the all male buddies at the bar, watching MLB and the NBA Finals, and drinking shots and beer and belching, and ......

Dealing with the DATING SCENE! Start flirting with the honies at the bar, until you find a semi interested one, and then buy her drinks, take her out, until you do the dinner and a movie thing, where you drop 75 bucks at a steakhouse and 20 bucks at the cinema, to only have her ask you not to hold her hand, because she "isnt comfortable with that"...and then, after sitting at the film all night with a boner, you can get the "I had a nice time" line, and a bulls*it "Auntie" hug at the end of the date. (You know the one fellas, where she pats your back)

Then, you can go home, and open a copy of the latest Playboy, and rub yourself, imagining you and her having hott sexx, until you explode in an orgasm of pure sexual frustration, while she calls up her "booty call" and makes love for real, and brags how she ordered the Alaskan King Crab Entree, and 5 glasses of wine, on you!!!

Think about it.
 

Vince

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Originally posted by NewMan
That's exactly it - I'm really not that into her - even though she's a great girl.

Almost like she's to accomodating and I need someone with a little more edge...
and when she decides to leave you, you will be regretting it. Sometimes when people have a good thing, they get too comfortable.... I dont know why it happens but it does.
 

car501

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Originally posted by NewMan
So I'm dating a great woman for over a year now....
I don't know what my problem is.
Anyone encounter this?
You have Groucho Marx Syndrome !
"I wouldn't want to be in any club that would have me as a member !"
 

NewMan

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Break up with her immidiatley, and start hanging out with your male bros, the former Frat Boys who are divorced or unmarried. Go to strip joints to celebrate your newly found freeedom, and drop 400.00 on a woman (All right gentlemen, next up on the Stage is ASIA!!!!Lets let her hear you hollah!!!) who would'nt let you f*** her, ever unless you raped her, and who walked to the next table as soon as the $$$ ran out....Then, after that, spend weekend, after weekend with the all male buddies at the bar, watching MLB and the NBA Finals, and drinking shots and beer and belching, and ......

I guess your glass is half empty....
 

decades

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Originally posted by NewMan
That's exactly it - I'm really not that into her - even though she's a great girl.

Almost like she's to accomodating and I need someone with a little more edge...
this is just a wild guess but do you have commitment issues? cuz maybe you realize that this could be THE ONE and that scares the hell out a yah.

regards,

mike
 
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Re: Re: Your dating a great woman... BUT....

Originally posted by JackPrescott
A young attractive hottie that loves you, gives you great sex, and pretty much idolizes you?

YEECCHHH!! Who the hell wants that noise, what you need is a great dose of the SINGLES SCENE. Here is my advice.

Break up with her immidiatley, and start hanging out with your male bros, the former Frat Boys who are divorced or unmarried. Go to strip joints to celebrate your newly found freeedom, and drop 400.00 on a woman (All right gentlemen, next up on the Stage is ASIA!!!!Lets let her hear you hollah!!!) who would'nt let you f*** her, ever unless you raped her, and who walked to the next table as soon as the $$$ ran out....Then, after that, spend weekend, after weekend with the all male buddies at the bar, watching MLB and the NBA Finals, and drinking shots and beer and belching, and ......

Dealing with the DATING SCENE! Start flirting with the honies at the bar, until you find a semi interested one, and then buy her drinks, take her out, until you do the dinner and a movie thing, where you drop 75 bucks at a steakhouse and 20 bucks at the cinema, to only have her ask you not to hold her hand, because she "isnt comfortable with that"...and then, after sitting at the film all night with a boner, you can get the "I had a nice time" line, and a bulls*it "Auntie" hug at the end of the date. (You know the one fellas, where she pats your back)

Then, you can go home, and open a copy of the latest Playboy, and rub yourself, imagining you and her having hott sexx, until you explode in an orgasm of pure sexual frustration, while she calls up her "booty call" and makes love for real, and brags how she ordered the Alaskan King Crab Entree, and 5 glasses of wine, on you!!!

Think about it.
This was a good scenario and makes a valid point but do you know that their are 10's of millions of married men looking for this exact escape?

The cure of marriage may be worse than the illness of solitude without the company of the opposite sex!!
 

Tazman

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Am I missing something? If you're having "great" sex all the time and there's no drama, what is the problem? Don't we all want that? I thought that when you get "tired" of somebody it usually affects you're desire to be with them. Great sex all the time doesn't sound like the result of a person who's losing interest in someone. Atleast for women, I know when they lose interest it usually means no more sex, right?
 

DonRob

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Originally posted by NewMan
Very good points Gravy.





We both laugh at the same things. We love Seinfeld kind of humor. Actually - I don't think I've ever seen her upset, mad, or angry. She is always happy. Always has a skip to her walk. She never seem's down or sad (except the one time I broke it off when she cried). Oh - she does have road rage though - when she's driving and we are talking she often shout's at other drivers - but then so do I.

She's the female version of me..... almost reminds me of the Seinfeld episode....

And there might be the problem.


Boo-hoo you have a woman that wants you to be a man and make decisions and be a leader! Suck it up!

You have a woman who likes to spend time with you, doesnt bust your balls, is and is a good cook to boot. You laugh together and have fun. You admit you have minor disagreements but no big blow up fights.....

What the freak man.... get your head out of your behind! Sounds like the problem is YOU and not her
 

The Zone

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Hey Newman,

Here I am reading these treads and a funny thing came to me..
Is there such a thing as a female AFC?

Most of us guy's are recovering AFC's, who tried to please our
women by being nice and accommodating. Is she being any different?

Newman, Think about it, could the way your feeling be the way women fell when we were AFC's. If so, lets learn an important lesson here how not to be, because we now see how the other have feels.

It was mentioned here earlier, and a father figure told me this a few years ago. He said " Marry some one who loves you more than you love her" This is great advice but then you start thinking. Am I going to be happy or do I want something more?

My advice, if this is marriage potential stick with it. If not let her go and go after someone who will be more of a challenge. Make up you mine quick. If a woman loses interest in a relationship, no matter how much you try to make up for lost time the relationship is over and your stuck scratching your head wondering what happened.


Good luck man.

Most guys would love to be in your shoes.
 

NewMan

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this is just a wild guess but do you have commitment issues?
I'd like to say no. I'd also like to think I'm just waiting for the right woman - and that when she comes along I will know it.

But.... the more relationships I go through - the more I think that maybe, just maybe the problem is mine.

This was a good scenario and makes a valid point but do you know that their are 10's of millions of married men looking for this exact escape?
Yes - the grass is always greener I suppose. To much of a good thing is as bad as to little. And that was my original point - it's almost to easy....

It was mentioned here earlier, and a father figure told me this a few years ago. He said " Marry some one who loves you more than you love her" This is great advice but then you start thinking. Am I going to be happy or do I want something more?
True - I've heard that. the problem is, I'm looking for more. Yes, she's very much into me - but as a person - i'd like to have someone who challenges my mind. Who can bring something new to my life....
 
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