YOUR breaking point of a break-up?

[manfrombelow]

Helllo gentlemen, here I am again.

What was your breaking point that finally caused you to break up with your LTR/main plate?

In my case, it was when I realized that nothing I did was good enough in her eyes. Yes there were times that she acted nice, feminine, and submissive... but only about 20-25% of the time. The rest of the time, she always had this tendency to challenge my words and actions, from the littlest things as choosing the curtains' colours to even picking what movie to watch. She liked to have things her way. And when, for whatever reasons that she could not have things her way, she usually threw tantrums everywhere.

At the beginning of our relationship, when she was still submissive most of the time (because I hadn't moved in with her), she cried and acted like a victim. But when I finally moved in her apartment (FVCKING BAD MISTAKE, I KNOW!), I could see her respect and interest level in me dropped, to the point she's not afraid to curse me with words that only enemies would throw to each other whenever I refused to succumb to her wishes.

Other than that, every day life with her is a constant mental torture because she would always nagged, demanded, and said things that made me feel like a pice of sh!t.

So, eventually, even though I know that it's mostly MY FAULT that she's not submissive to me (I was staying in her HER place, my income then was way lower than her, that's why!), but I also knew it's not the legit reason for me to let her keep treating me like sh!t, so I called it off. I loved her and wanted the best for her, but I needed to save myself FIRST.

Overall, she's not a bad person. She's well educated, 7.5/10 in terms of look. But she's not a happy person, because she always wants to control men in her life. Before we met, she just got out from a bad marriage (or so she said). But now, when I look back, with such a tendency to control men in her life, it's really hard for people like her to have happy long term relationships with any man.

And most importantly: Her father, a really nice chap, tall, handsome, and always treated me well, is a PVSSY in the relationship with her mother. If only you guys could see how her mother commanded & ordered the poor guy around like a puppy. I guess that's her biggest problem to not have an Alpha-typed father.

That's why, whenever I'm asked by guys who are younger than me about what to look for in a woman to build a LTR with, I always replied: "Look at the way her mother treats her father. And look at their family's power hierachy. If the leader of their house is the father, then it's good. But if her father is only the follower, then she's not good material for LTR. You can fvck her, but don't hope for anything better."

 

[Bingo-Player]

Just general lack of excitement in bedroom / sex life put the final nail in the coffin .....i can remember on a Friday night we would have a few drinks and i would have to tell her to go and put some sexy underwear / lingerie on so we could fvck

I don't think we had sloppy morning sex in 3 years of being together

If i wasn't telling her what to do it just wouldn't happen that went for everything what we were eating , where we were going .... it was boring man she wouldn't go to the gym and workout unless i physically dragged her ass there

She couldn't run more than 1/2 a mile without being exhausted she was 24 FFS

it sounds petty but for a male like myself who constantly wants to achieve the best it's wearing

You lot say you want submissive women ..... but take warning from me be careful what you wish for submissive women can often be very lazy it's a double ended sword

 

[manfrombelow]

Just general lack of excitement in bedroom / sex life put the final nail in the coffin .....i can remember on a Friday night we would have a few drinks and i would have to tell her to go and put some sexy underwear / lingerie on so we could fvck

I don't think we had sloppy morning sex in 3 years of being together

If i wasn't telling her what to do it just wouldn't happen that went for everything what we were eating , where we were going .... it was boring man she wouldn't go to the gym and workout unless i physically dragged her ass there

She couldn't run more than 1/2 a mile without being exhausted she was 24 FFS

it sounds petty but for a male like myself who constantly wants to achieve the best it's wearing

You lot say you want submissive women ..... but take warning from me be careful what you wish for submissive women can often be very lazy it's a double ended sword

As men, we should ALWAYS want submissive women - not vice versa. In your case, yes she sounds submissive but the fact she didn't give a fvck about improving everything in your relationship tells me that she was at the extreme end of the "submissive" spectrum. And more than that, she sounds like she was slowly falling out of love with you - which itself is another story.

We want a submissive woman who loves us and care about us (and the relationship itself), not a submissive woman who doesn't give a single damn about what's going on.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Each man to their own but after being with a submissive woman for 4 years i'm not sure i would be racing back for another one

like i said they are boring and often unmotivated to achieve anything

IF you have already achieved everything you want in life or are ready for retirement then yes by all means acquire the most submissive woman you can find

BUT

If you are climbing that mountain of success its tough enough finding the motivation and perseverance yourself without dragging a boulder behind you

 

[SargeMaximus]

Just general lack of excitement in bedroom / sex life put the final nail in the coffin .....i can remember on a Friday night we would have a few drinks and i would have to tell her to go and put some sexy underwear / lingerie on so we could fvck

I don't think we had sloppy morning sex in 3 years of being together

If i wasn't telling her what to do it just wouldn't happen that went for everything what we were eating , where we were going .... it was boring man she wouldn't go to the gym and workout unless i physically dragged her ass there

She couldn't run more than 1/2 a mile without being exhausted she was 24 FFS

it sounds petty but for a male like myself who constantly wants to achieve the best it's wearing

You lot say you want submissive women ..... but take warning from me be careful what you wish for submissive women can often be very lazy it's a double ended sword

Yeah I myself also hate having to tell women what to do. Might as well just get a blow up doll at that point.

 

[manfrombelow]

Would the op have been better to have foreseen his predicament by observing her past behavior and what she was capable of doing, and saying to himself "she will obviously pollute and poison my world should I let. Let's nip this in the bud now"?

Yes, his story confirms so.

Thank you brother. Well now looking back, I realized I had to learn everything the hardest way possible. Bad luck? Perhaps. But at least I learned them.

 

[RickTheToad]

Helllo gentlemen, here I am again.

What was your breaking point that finally caused you to break up with your LTR/main plate?

In my case, it was when I realized that nothing I did was good enough in her eyes. Yes there were times that she acted nice, feminine, and submissive... but only about 20-25% of the time. The rest of the time, she always had this tendency to challenge my words and actions, from the littlest things as choosing the curtains' colours to even picking what movie to watch. She liked to have things her way. And when, for whatever reasons that she could not have things her way, she usually threw tantrums everywhere.

At the beginning of our relationship, when she was still submissive most of the time (because I hadn't moved in with her), she cried and acted like a victim. But when I finally moved in her apartment (FVCKING BAD MISTAKE, I KNOW!), I could see her respect and interest level in me dropped, to the point she's not afraid to curse me with words that only enemies would throw to each other whenever I refused to succumb to her wishes.

Other than that, every day life with her is a constant mental torture because she would always nagged, demanded, and said things that made me feel like a pice of sh!t.

So, eventually, even though I know that it's mostly MY FAULT that she's not submissive to me (I was staying in her HER place, my income then was way lower than her, that's why!), but I also knew it's not the legit reason for me to let her keep treating me like sh!t, so I called it off. I loved her and wanted the best for her, but I needed to save myself FIRST.

Overall, she's not a bad person. She's well educated, 7.5/10 in terms of look. But she's not a happy person, because she always wants to control men in her life. Before we met, she just got out from a bad marriage (or so she said). But now, when I look back, with such a tendency to control men in her life, it's really hard for people like her to have happy long term relationships with any man.

And most importantly: Her father, a really nice chap, tall, handsome, and always treated me well, is a PVSSY in the relationship with her mother. If only you guys could see how her mother commanded & ordered the poor guy around like a puppy. I guess that's her biggest problem to not have an Alpha-typed father.

That's why, whenever I'm asked by guys who are younger than me about what to look for in a woman to build a LTR with, I always replied: "Look at the way her mother treats her father. And look at their family's power hierachy. If the leader of their house is the father, then it's good. But if her father is only the follower, then she's not good material for LTR. You can fvck her, but don't hope for anything better."

The brass tacts is obedience and respect. Once that's gone, you leave.

 

[The Diver]

We want a submissive woman who loves us and care about us (and the relationship itself),

You don't have to have a submissive woman to loves and care for you. (and the relationship itself).
But you don't want the freak control either.
The middle point is the best; Submissive to the point but not a rug.
I once had a "Rug" girl who waits for me to tell her what to do, and I found it tedious and tiring.
It's like having kids as a partner, not a grown woman.

 

[The Diver]

You can be certain that it was her doing. You can be certain that she will blame her husband.

This woman is evil and corrupt and dangerous

You sound very bitter and consume with hate.

Yes, women are not an angle, but there are
s***y abusive men out there as well ,you know,,

 

[The Diver]

But do try to keep your shaming language to yourself.

I'm not into personal fights, and It wasn't my intention to shame you at all, Although you are doing to me what you complain I did to you.

All I wanted to say in my previous post is that I think such an absolute negative approach, as you displayed in your post, is a result of you being badly hurt in the past and therefore seeing all women as evil, which I think is a mistake.
These negative feelings are consuming you from the inside and clouding your judgment.

There are good women out there, but its not easy to find them.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

When it became utterly clear to me that she was irretrievably affected by mental issues. Low self esteem, would never trust me, became meteoric in simple discussions of not much importance and was frankly not particularly intelligent.

it takes time for women to show all their sides, they keep them under wraps until they get comfortable that they “have” you.

 

[Barrister]

The moment when you realize the honeymoon phase is over, you aren’t getting it back, and what you are left with is someone you realize you aren’t even remotely compatible with long-term now that the rose colored glasses are off.

 

[manfrombelow]

The moment when you realize the honeymoon phase is over, you aren’t getting it back, and what you are left with is someone you realize you aren’t even remotely compatible with long-term now that the rose colored glasses are off.

This hits home to me.

Now, looking back, even though I don't deny I was a loser at the time, but at the same time, as a human being, I just could not keep living with somebody who literally had to remind me of the fact that I was a loser on a daily basis. It was not good for my self-esteem, and it was not good for my mental health. I could sense the resentment in her towards me that I somehow could not live up to her expectation of a boyfriend who could make her proud.

Eventually, after being mentally tortured that way long enough, I grew my own resentment towards her too because she kept making me feel like sh!t about myself. So by calling it quit, it was actually an escape for the both of us. => She deserved somebody whose life was not a mess (like mine), and someobody whom she could look up to (unlike me). And I deserved a life without drama and sh!tshow and mental torture.

PS: Another thing I learned the hard way was that women would never respect you (let alone "love" you) if you don't have resources, at least much more than hers. I had very little resources (especially in terms of money) hence she could not respect me.

 

[corrector]

This hits home to me.

Now, looking back, even though I don't deny I was a loser at the time, but at the same time, as a human being, I just could not keep living with somebody who literally had to remind me of the fact that I was a loser on a daily basis. It was not good for my self-esteem, and it was not good for my mental health. I could sense the resentment in her towards me that I somehow could not live up to her expectation of a boyfriend who could make her proud.

Eventually, after being mentally tortured that way long enough, I grew my own resentment towards her too because she kept making me feel like sh!t about myself. So by calling it quit, it was actually an escape for the both of us. => She deserved somebody whose life was not a mess (like mine), and someobody whom she could look up to (unlike me). And I deserved a life without drama and sh!tshow and mental torture.

PS: Another thing I learned the hard way was that women would never respect you (let alone "love" you) if you don't have resources, at least much more than hers. I had very little resources (especially in terms of money) hence she could not respect me.

That's precisely why I ended up divorced. That's why I have a cousin whose wife treats him like dogsh1t. I haven't had any more resources per se after the divorce and knowing I'm already in bad shape, don't see how it makes sense to look for a woman who can only make things worst. These type of women make you think they are doing you a favour and can get a better guy who is in better financial shape...and quickly forget about the sparks and romance that built the original connection in the first place.

What are you going to do now? Are you going MGTOW until you get more resources so a future woman can respect you and love you?

 

[manfrombelow]

These type of women make you think they are doing you a favour and can get a better guy who is in better financial shape...and quickly forget about the sparks and romance that built the original connection in the first place.

1. I understand where you're coming from. In my case, each time I told her that I think our relationship should ends, she got crazy and called me a "coward" for not "willing to step up my game to fight for both of us". I bought into that many times, because, like I said, I was a loser then, and I always felt somewhat guilty that I could not be the type of "winner" boyfriend that she wanted, so I stayed, and the toxic cycle continued: She kept verbally and mentally making me feel like a piece of sh!t.

So eventually, I quit. She still called me a coward who "didn't have the ball to stay and improve the situation" but that's her problem now, not mine anymore.

What are you going to do now? Are you going MGTOW until you get more resources so a future woman can respect you and love you?

2. For now I stay single, work on improving myself, which includes accumulating as much resources as possible, but not for any one other than myself. Yes I would keep spinning plates, but entering another LTR? For now, it's at the lowest level on my priority list.

 

[manfrombelow]

For now, I must say the peacefulness of single life is very addictive. In a good way.

 

[The Diver]

As I have a big heart, I'm going to help this poster with his sickness. His sickness is that he is channelling the spirit of Jezebel.

You need to seek help, my friend. You're not in a good place.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Oh here's another one of my faves:

"you only want me for sex" - or one of its analogs. It's curtains baby.

 

[2Rocky]

You need to seek help, my friend. You're not in a good place.

I will second this...