Younger Women

[ElChoclo]

I was browsing in "The Layguide" and I found a part where the author candidly admits that age does matter. He then gives some replies for "Aren't you a bit old for me?"

From memory the replies were something like "Yes it is hard to find someone your age who is mature enough to handle an older man" or "Think of all the benefits of my experience etc"

Somehow I didn't think this would come off very well in real life. I'm not really looking for dialogues to use. Is there agreement however that crunching down an age barrier represents one of the more significant challenges for the DJ exponent. I'm basing this comment on the lame nature of the advice which seems to exist for this problem.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

I've found that assuming that it's cool and not discussing the age difference is the best way to approach a relationship situation - be it a ONS or LTR.

When I first started dating younger girls, I'd bring up our age difference frequently (probably to subconsciously pat myself on the back - yea, you're cool Eric, you're dating a MUCH younger girl). When I did bring it up, the girl would quickly tell me that it was really annoying. I just really loved to bring up the fact that she was 12 years younger than me . She also told me that she broke up with a guy who was 10 years older than her b/c he'd constantly talk about their age difference.

If a girl does bring up your age difference, tell her that your last girlfriend was younger than her (if you're dating a younger girl) or older than her (if you're dating older). This will give the girl confidence in your abililty to relate to a girl of her age.

Ah, another thing about dating a girl younger than you. Don't talk with the girl about what you did when you were her age...aka 'the good old days'. Treat her like she's your own age. It's best to avoid the whole age topic. If it comes up, address it, and change the subject quickly. Don't dwell on it.
:cheer:

 

[WestCoaster]

Article

There's a great article in one of those slick men's magazines, either GQ or Esquire, that I read last year about a man age 48 whose girlfrieind was 26 or so. I'll try and find it. It was a very good article.

The man was very mature. He said he didn't necessarily seek out such a younger woman, it just happened. He dated women his age for years and liked that, too. He had no regrets about that. He still is on good footing with his ex-wife, who is about his age. He makes no apologies and at the same time doesn't go on a bash older woman barrage.

His gf's parents are just slightly older than him and he never made a big deal out of that either. Actually, he and his gf never made a big deal out of the age difference period. They enjoy each other and that is that. He says he never brings it up and neither does she.

I'm not giving the article enough credence, it's very well written and it basically says don't be ashamed about age differences. I've often dated older women, too, and I've never apologized for that or for dating younger women.

Remember, these are society's mores ... a society which embraces bad music, worse TV shows, junk food, gas guzzling SUV's, endorses violence on TV but shuns sex, and on and on and on ... don't listen to society.

 

[ElChoclo]

Very sound advice indeed. Though some men have told me that their biggest obstacle were the friends.

When I was 43 and freshly divorced I went with a 31 year old with DD cup who looked OK. It was around my birthday and so finally the topic came up. I don't know if it was this reason but a few days after my birthday weekend with her I was terminated. I suspect it was that or maybe dollars were an issue, or who knows. It was an email I had a reserve supply at the time which eased the pain, which was lucky because the rejections symptoms could have been worse.

I had a 33 year old around that time too, so I more of less realise that I have a classic addiction, which I suppose is damn common for men. Luckily you can't get it when you're 20, not unless your a paedophile.

 

[Kaine]

Yeah you need to maintain rapport, focusing on the age gap is focusing on your differences when instead you should be focusing on your similarities or at least on things which compliment each other.


If they bring it up as a problem, then you can reframe it playfully as a challenge, but you should not challenge (push) them too often. Again you need to play as if age was never and will never be a problem because you guys are just so "good together" and/or you have so much more value.


There is almost 10 years difference between the girl I'm dating now and I never bring it up and it never comes up anymore. It's up to you to make it outstanding or not in your reality and if so positively for you.


Kaine