"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Younger looking Adults
- Thread starter PoS
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
al77
Master Don Juan
I am not getting why are you concerned with it? It is a really huge disadvatange when it comes to dealing with chicks: no female would dig a young guy. Especially when they see the discrepancy between the real age and his looks...
Anyway, I am the guy you are talking about. I am 30 but look 23-24. I wish I could change it.
Last week I was telling my mom that I'm gonna color my hair once my grays start to become too noticeable (BTW, I'm 40).
She says "Don't do that! They make you look dignified (ie, distinguished)"
My response: "I don't want to look distinguished and I don't want to look f**k**ng mature. They just make me look old!"
Now guys, if you're trying to impress your mothers, that's fine with me, I just don't wanna know about it.
We ALL want to look young, at least us guys who can still benefit by it.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
as a 38 yr old who was told just yesterday that I look like I am 19.. the biggest problem has been, since I am a teacher... every year the hottest seniors in the HS do some serious flirting with me. Considering that they are 17-18, it is flattering but I can not do anything of course.
The negative thing is that gals " my age" think that I am too young for them. Anyhow, ya just get used to it.
It does work out with younger women. I get attention from women even 15 years younger regularly. The problem there is more that they assume that I am looking to "settle down".
Work with what you got.
tao
stevey_2000
Senior Don Juan
al77, how on earth do you see looking younger for your age a dissadvantage??!?!, with all respect i had to laugh reading your post...
i'm 27, get told i look 19-21 and at the moment am dating a 21 year old 'young looking' gym instructor,
you think i would be doing this if i didn't have a 'young good looks' i have now
get out of here my friend!!,
Ste.
I'm 30 and could pass for a high schooler. Because of my maturity, most people guess me to be about 22 or 23 when I ask them.
I've been called "young man" by people 5 years younger than me.
Something else I've noticed is that older people have a hard time accepting it when I am in a position of authority and have to tell them they are in the wrong. I used to manage a convenience store and almost every time I had to tell somebody not to do something, they would get really pissed and tell me I was a smartass with a bad attitude. All I did was matter-of-factly tell them what to do. I didn't ask, I didn't plead. I commaned in an authoritative manner. Because of my very youthful and innocent appearance, they respond negatively.
Once this guy in a huge truck with a long trailer parked right in front of the store where no one could get in the door. Blocked the entire front of my store. I went out and told him matter-of-factly (not rude or mean) that he would have to move his truck. He tried to argue and asked "Do you want my business or not?" I stuck to my guns and he moved it. Then later he came in trying to tell me that I have a bad attitude and I can't treat people that way blah blah blah. I know if I looked my age that never would have happened. The owner is actually rude to people but he's an old Indian dude and nobody ever tells him he has a bad attitude.
People's preconcieved expectations based on your appearance and how old they perceive you to be can definitely alter the way you are treated.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I don't do anything to make them think I am "soft." They are assuming this before we interact, based solely on my appearance. I can tell this is the case.
Here is an example: You don't have to prepay for gas at my station. Many times someone will pump say $20.01. Many middle-aged and older men will slap a $20 on the counter, turn, and hit the door.
This never happens to the owner. What they do with him is, they give him $20 then they stand there. Then he says "Twenty dollars and one cent" and they come up with a penny.
Same exact situation, same exact customer, 2 different clerks, 2 different outcomes. They perceive me as a person who won't follow them into the parking lot for my $0.01.
My body language, eye contact, and voice tone are authoritative. So before they even come inside they have prejudged me based on my looks and acted accordingly. So of course they are shocked and get defensive when I challenge them.
I'm not a ****, any time someone said "I'm a penny short." or "Do you have a penny?" I always gave it to them.
Also, I never had a single problem with a person who is at or below the age I LOOK (about 20). Another example:
A young man about the age of 18 drove right up to the front door, got out of his truck, left his door open, and was playing some music so loud I couldn't even hear what the person in front of me was saying. As soon as this kid came in I told him he was going to have to turn his music down. He ignored me (or possibly didn't hear me), went to the cooler and got a red bull. He came to the counter to pay, and I shook my head and said "Not until you turn the music down." He tried to stall me out to see if I would relent, but he never said anything. He went out and turned the music down, came back in and paid. Never said a bad word to me and we've been cool ever since.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
1) DON'T SMOKE
2) Don't drink too much alcohol.
3) Don't tan too much.
4) Eat right.
5) Keep a youthful attitude.
and, of course...
6) Good genes.
al77
Master Don Juan
I don't think it is true regarding teh prime age. Early 20? Does a guy who look that young have a chace with say 27-29 y.o. hottie?
Most likely it will go like this: She "How old are you?" 22? Ok bye.
Women want a) older guys b) mature enough guys. A guy in his young 20s with average looks is destined to deal with very flaky females of the same age.
Now if a guy is 35-40, then the process is similar: she "How old are you? 40ooooty?" Ok, bye! Why would she want somebody much older? What for? She can get a guy closer to her age.
It doesn't matter to her that the guy is very young loooking man.
al77
Master Don Juan
First of all women do not believe me I am 30 when I look no older than 23-24. They keep saying "You are ... lying!".
Next thing is why in teh world you want to date 21 y.o?? They are all either flaky or ready to leave you tomorrow "for that new cool looking guy". Thats not a great thing really.