"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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You will learn when you get married....

Heretolearn

Master Don Juan
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Da Realist said:
To be real, giving a person a phone as a gift and then making them set it up is like giving a kid a bike that hasn't been put together. But when a guy says something like that, it sounds like he's defeated, which is the real problem. He's probably scared she'll divorce him and take him for all he has while he's stuck doing the hard work. Thing is that either he's gonna have to lay down the law and show he means business or just waste his life making some waste of space happy.

Good analogy. Distinguished in this case with the additional facts:

- he gave her the phone 8 months prior and set it up then
- she had issues with it and he was resolving them not because of any special expertise but because she was too busy (stay at home mum whose kids go to school during the day) whereas he works 10 hours a day.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Heretolearn

Master Don Juan
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jophil28 said:
Most guys start off their relationship by doing kind and generous acts for their new woman to 'entice' her. Dinners, dates, trips, flowers, jewelery, gifts and so on.
Perhaps he also fixes her plumbing while she sits on the couch with a cool drink or he washes her car or rotates her tires. All these gestures WORK. THey achieve their basic objective in drawing her closer by demonstrating his VALUE to her as a guy who can 'provide', and take care of the everyday stuff.
These acts are seen by many women as his attempts to 'win' her and keep her.
It is almost guaranteed that she will continue to expect this arrangement to continue into marriage. Why wouldn't she ?

Contrast that situation with one in which the more aware DJ does much the same things for her BUT within a context of 'reward' for her exemplarary behavior, her respect and devotion to him, and her compliance with his expectations of her.
He treats her well and is generous AFTER she has shown by her actions that she deserves to be treated generously. She earns those privileges.

Again, if this relationship proceeds to marriage, it does so on the basis of the fine print in the behavioral 'contract' which has been established between them.

It is all about context gentlemen.And it also about being consistent and congruent though all her tests.

Ultimately you have the choice to become her slave, or her hero. Like it or not, you will initiate this process from the first moment that you and she meet.
brilliant post - thanks
 
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