Sexplicite
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2004
- Messages
- 19
- Reaction score
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- Age
- 51
Players are players because of ego's. Nothing more nothing less.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You want to be a Player - Why?
- Thread starter Slickster
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
SIXPAKGQ
Don Juan
simp : elaborate..
DonRob
Don Juan
Whoa.... You make some real assumptions here. First that a man choosing a DJ path will become an AFC once he is in a LTR. True if he reverts back to an AFC she WILL DUMP him, bottom line. If he remains challenging, exhibits self control in the relationship and has and maintains confidence he will NOT lose her. Interestingly enough if you disect each of those foundational peices, you will discover that in order to be a Player, you MUST have all of these traits. Confidence... nuff said. Control- Disciplined, Patience and Self control. Disciplined to not be like every other AFC, Patience follow your own lead and not hers... the take away close is one of the most powerful tools a man has because in most cases a woman has never experienced a man turning her down because we are operating on my time table not yours. Self Control if you dont get this one, you really need help 
As long as a man exhibits these traits an interested woman will remain interested regardless of if you are in LTR or your just interested in chasing tail.
A woman that is with a man for a year leaves him becuase he has ceased to be a DJ and has reverted to being an AFC.
You are right that in a relationship someone has the power. The person who is less invested emotionally has the power in the relationship. You are asking for trouble when you allow yourself to become more invested than she is. I really like the concept of letting the woman tell you she loves you a lot more often than you tell her.
Fundementally, a true DJ doesnt have a relationship blow up on him. He removes himself from women who are flawed of character. He does not allow himself to become emotionally involved with a woman who is unfaithful to him. He only aligns himself with a woman that is worthy of being in a LTR with him.
Most women of quality WANT the LTR thing. The kind of woman the true DJ is looking for has her act together and is marriage material. If the DJ remains a DJ they wont split up.
Assuming that we are talking about rationally sane women here, there are only 2 reasons a woman dumps you in a LTR 1) You revert to being an AFC which will disgust her to the point that she dumps you. 2) You get really stupid and Fvck around on her. Short of that, your thesis has no merit NewMan
As long as a man exhibits these traits an interested woman will remain interested regardless of if you are in LTR or your just interested in chasing tail.
A woman that is with a man for a year leaves him becuase he has ceased to be a DJ and has reverted to being an AFC.
You are right that in a relationship someone has the power. The person who is less invested emotionally has the power in the relationship. You are asking for trouble when you allow yourself to become more invested than she is. I really like the concept of letting the woman tell you she loves you a lot more often than you tell her.
Fundementally, a true DJ doesnt have a relationship blow up on him. He removes himself from women who are flawed of character. He does not allow himself to become emotionally involved with a woman who is unfaithful to him. He only aligns himself with a woman that is worthy of being in a LTR with him.
Most women of quality WANT the LTR thing. The kind of woman the true DJ is looking for has her act together and is marriage material. If the DJ remains a DJ they wont split up.
Assuming that we are talking about rationally sane women here, there are only 2 reasons a woman dumps you in a LTR 1) You revert to being an AFC which will disgust her to the point that she dumps you. 2) You get really stupid and Fvck around on her. Short of that, your thesis has no merit NewMan
DonRob
Don Juan
Re: I've been pondering this exact question...
Beyond that, Freaks need luvin too!
Every woman has a freak in her. You'd be far better off to focus on how the woman treats you, does she have any major character flaws than worry about any labels like GG vs Freak....
Beyond that, Freaks need luvin too!
Re:
Personally, I don't give a shyt what ya'll do to get women, or get ya rox off.
What it does come down to, in any realm, is having a sense of control over our lives.
We want to be able to land women.
To land a job/career.
To land sex.
To feel comfortable in our skin.
To not feel alone.
People I know that are great in other areas of their life, are also great with women. If they can make sales happen, if they enjoy their sports, their motorcycle, their family, then they can approach with the attitude that she's an addition, and a benefit to their life.
Each man will determine his own purpose in life.
Whatever you believe YOU WILL SEE. Wherever you go, YOU SHALL FIND.
If you repeat bar/club hopping, you'll pin down lots of semi-messed up girls. Just as bees are attracted to honey, the women attracted to these places REGULARLY are of the same nature.
Who's plan are you buying?
No matter what you're doing, your ON A PLAN, A PATH. Who's IS IT?
YOUR'S?
THERE'S?
If you're confused, look inward. What do you want of YOUR LIFE, not just RIGHT NOW. Keep repeating today's mistakes and it will be tomorrow's disappointment.
And honestly, I've got no clue what a total DJ is, what skills a DJ has, and what life he leads. I only know what I desire, what makes me happy, and what makes sense as a man. I don't prepackage my life or define it, or me, by some title of the man I portend to be.
All men are BOTH.
They are relationship-types, as well as players. You need both skills to ULTIMATELY be successful. Black does not exist without, for we would not HAVE black if there was no contrast. Sound would not exist if there were no PEAK AND TROUGHS. Light exists with dark, because there's a contrast. In the same package, EXISTS BOTH, or NEITHER EXISTS.
TO HAVE THE BEST POSSIBLE RELATIONSHIP, YOU MUST PROSPECT DILIGENTLY and WEED OUT RUTHLESSLY FLAKY, DISHONEST, or WEAK women.
TO BE A GOOD PLAYER in THE LTR, it takes more than just good pickup skillz, it takes creativity, balance, control, and patience. Many guys can land a one night stand, and carry it out a little, but it takes some talent to keep it going for an extended period of time.
If you ascribe to beliefs not in accordance with who you want to be, you'll awaken one day wondering what happened, disheartened because you didn't realize your foolishness, and regret not doing it before. I felt that the purpose of the boards was total improvement as a man. Getting great women is easy when you're great, and with the right mind and right set of eyes, it's easy to gather up the women.
The best analogy I can draw is in poker right now.
My mentor and partner is a professional poker player, i.e vegas world series of poker, yada, yada. His skills are vastly different than many regular players in that, his are honed over 10+ years of playing. His talent is innate. He can pick up a game on the net, in a casino, in a tournament, or even a house card game and score big. Why? Because he brought on the skills to win. Yet, when he overindulges, he loses balance. He gets wreckless. He bets more than he should. He plays too many hours. His health suffers, as he'd be at the tables FOR HOURS. So what does he do?
He works out.
He has a beautiful supportive (2nd) wife.
He has a few businesses that provide funding and an outlet for other talents.
He plays sports and maintains different hobbies so poker never gets stale.
He even plays other card games to enhance his skills.
While he plays, he mixes up his strategy to suit the game, but the end goal is ALWAYS, to WIN. And winning varies on the SIZE of the PRIZE. Sometimes its big and it requires many different faces to exploit weaknesses. Sometimes its mediocre and he doesn't push it, knowing ALWAYS that he can't CONTROL the cards, only himself and his play. His emotions and his hands, and his betting.
The same applies to women. To always be INTO women to the detriment of your life will be sure failure and death of character. If you're not into settling down, fine, maybe you never will be. Guys like Trump, Hefner, and so forth, will never worry about such things even beyond 50+. But for average joes, unless you're importing women, IT WILL BE, unless you manage to end your life the exact moment the last 18 year old would date you.
I got an uncle divorcing at 41. His choice. He's made millions, so he can date younger women now that he's totally free. Fine by me. I still like the guy, and we often consult together as well. But I want him to pay his dues to my aunt and 4 kids, as it was his choice to leave a young family, and she was told by him to be a stay at home mother. Long-into life one can choose such a route, but having friends in their 40's, and seeing their life, it looks great, but I wonder:
What now?
They've got some good cash to be fairly carefree.
They're OK in health.
What next?
More money.
More women.
A bigger TV?
A better vacation?
A bigger ****.
Bigger muscles?
Will a larger breated woman make you feel more alive, even if only temporarily?
Will anal sex give you that boost you so desire to feel complete, as if existence was satisfying?
There WILL always be more money, more designer clothes, more cars, more women, more sex, BUT NEVER MORE TIME.
What's important to you and WHY AREN'T you doing it?
A-Unit
Personally, I don't give a shyt what ya'll do to get women, or get ya rox off.
What it does come down to, in any realm, is having a sense of control over our lives.
We want to be able to land women.
To land a job/career.
To land sex.
To feel comfortable in our skin.
To not feel alone.
People I know that are great in other areas of their life, are also great with women. If they can make sales happen, if they enjoy their sports, their motorcycle, their family, then they can approach with the attitude that she's an addition, and a benefit to their life.
Each man will determine his own purpose in life.
Whatever you believe YOU WILL SEE. Wherever you go, YOU SHALL FIND.
If you repeat bar/club hopping, you'll pin down lots of semi-messed up girls. Just as bees are attracted to honey, the women attracted to these places REGULARLY are of the same nature.
Who's plan are you buying?
No matter what you're doing, your ON A PLAN, A PATH. Who's IS IT?
YOUR'S?
THERE'S?
If you're confused, look inward. What do you want of YOUR LIFE, not just RIGHT NOW. Keep repeating today's mistakes and it will be tomorrow's disappointment.
And honestly, I've got no clue what a total DJ is, what skills a DJ has, and what life he leads. I only know what I desire, what makes me happy, and what makes sense as a man. I don't prepackage my life or define it, or me, by some title of the man I portend to be.
All men are BOTH.
They are relationship-types, as well as players. You need both skills to ULTIMATELY be successful. Black does not exist without, for we would not HAVE black if there was no contrast. Sound would not exist if there were no PEAK AND TROUGHS. Light exists with dark, because there's a contrast. In the same package, EXISTS BOTH, or NEITHER EXISTS.
TO HAVE THE BEST POSSIBLE RELATIONSHIP, YOU MUST PROSPECT DILIGENTLY and WEED OUT RUTHLESSLY FLAKY, DISHONEST, or WEAK women.
TO BE A GOOD PLAYER in THE LTR, it takes more than just good pickup skillz, it takes creativity, balance, control, and patience. Many guys can land a one night stand, and carry it out a little, but it takes some talent to keep it going for an extended period of time.
If you ascribe to beliefs not in accordance with who you want to be, you'll awaken one day wondering what happened, disheartened because you didn't realize your foolishness, and regret not doing it before. I felt that the purpose of the boards was total improvement as a man. Getting great women is easy when you're great, and with the right mind and right set of eyes, it's easy to gather up the women.
The best analogy I can draw is in poker right now.
My mentor and partner is a professional poker player, i.e vegas world series of poker, yada, yada. His skills are vastly different than many regular players in that, his are honed over 10+ years of playing. His talent is innate. He can pick up a game on the net, in a casino, in a tournament, or even a house card game and score big. Why? Because he brought on the skills to win. Yet, when he overindulges, he loses balance. He gets wreckless. He bets more than he should. He plays too many hours. His health suffers, as he'd be at the tables FOR HOURS. So what does he do?
He works out.
He has a beautiful supportive (2nd) wife.
He has a few businesses that provide funding and an outlet for other talents.
He plays sports and maintains different hobbies so poker never gets stale.
He even plays other card games to enhance his skills.
While he plays, he mixes up his strategy to suit the game, but the end goal is ALWAYS, to WIN. And winning varies on the SIZE of the PRIZE. Sometimes its big and it requires many different faces to exploit weaknesses. Sometimes its mediocre and he doesn't push it, knowing ALWAYS that he can't CONTROL the cards, only himself and his play. His emotions and his hands, and his betting.
The same applies to women. To always be INTO women to the detriment of your life will be sure failure and death of character. If you're not into settling down, fine, maybe you never will be. Guys like Trump, Hefner, and so forth, will never worry about such things even beyond 50+. But for average joes, unless you're importing women, IT WILL BE, unless you manage to end your life the exact moment the last 18 year old would date you.
I got an uncle divorcing at 41. His choice. He's made millions, so he can date younger women now that he's totally free. Fine by me. I still like the guy, and we often consult together as well. But I want him to pay his dues to my aunt and 4 kids, as it was his choice to leave a young family, and she was told by him to be a stay at home mother. Long-into life one can choose such a route, but having friends in their 40's, and seeing their life, it looks great, but I wonder:
What now?
They've got some good cash to be fairly carefree.
They're OK in health.
What next?
More money.
More women.
A bigger TV?
A better vacation?
A bigger ****.
Bigger muscles?
Will a larger breated woman make you feel more alive, even if only temporarily?
Will anal sex give you that boost you so desire to feel complete, as if existence was satisfying?
There WILL always be more money, more designer clothes, more cars, more women, more sex, BUT NEVER MORE TIME.
What's important to you and WHY AREN'T you doing it?
A-Unit
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
TrickyD
Don Juan
On second thought....
Thanks DonRob... this definitely puts me on the right track. As they say in football, "take what the defense gives you."
(Didn't expect this thread to still be alive)Originally posted by DonRob
Every woman has a freak in her. You'd be far better off to focus on how the woman treats you, does she have any major character flaws than worry about any labels like GG vs Freak....
Beyond that, Freaks need luvin too!
Thanks DonRob... this definitely puts me on the right track. As they say in football, "take what the defense gives you."
My whole goal here isn't to get laid, but it's to overcome fears that I have. To become more social and to have more friends.
I have like one great friend and thats it and I don't hang out with that many other people. I want to have other friends to hang out with so I don't become and annoyance to the one friend.
I want to know that I can walk up to someone and start a conversation and not worry what they think about me. That I have the confidence to walk up to anyone and not have to second guess myself.
Thats all I'm here for and I've been learning and doing the things that I need. I still have to work on the close though...I talked to a few people over the weekend and started up a couple convos today waiting in line at the post office. Just small talk, but hey it's a start.
I don't drink so I don't have the alcohol to "help" me along in getting rid of my inhibitions. Which I think is a good thing...
I have like one great friend and thats it and I don't hang out with that many other people. I want to have other friends to hang out with so I don't become and annoyance to the one friend.
I want to know that I can walk up to someone and start a conversation and not worry what they think about me. That I have the confidence to walk up to anyone and not have to second guess myself.
Thats all I'm here for and I've been learning and doing the things that I need. I still have to work on the close though...I talked to a few people over the weekend and started up a couple convos today waiting in line at the post office. Just small talk, but hey it's a start.
I don't drink so I don't have the alcohol to "help" me along in getting rid of my inhibitions. Which I think is a good thing...
Wow this seems like a really old thread!
I haven't been around the boards as much lately and I haven't been visiting the main board at all.
I do remember this period of time very well though. Player Supreme was posting like 15-20 times a day and some believed he was also posting under different names (Tha Realness, Metaphysikal Lover, etc) which was quite lame if it were true.
Seemed like every other post was "player" related and the flaming and arguments resulted in Player Supreme being banned. Funny how those other aliases dissappeared at the same time too.
Anyhow I haven't noticed the player vs. DJ arguments lately which is good. Kind of silly to be arguing about labels anyway.
Peace
I haven't been around the boards as much lately and I haven't been visiting the main board at all.
I do remember this period of time very well though. Player Supreme was posting like 15-20 times a day and some believed he was also posting under different names (Tha Realness, Metaphysikal Lover, etc) which was quite lame if it were true.
Seemed like every other post was "player" related and the flaming and arguments resulted in Player Supreme being banned. Funny how those other aliases dissappeared at the same time too.
Anyhow I haven't noticed the player vs. DJ arguments lately which is good. Kind of silly to be arguing about labels anyway.
Peace
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Oh I don't know, I think when I made this post I was getting ticked off at how many player related posts were popping up. The constant flaming and arguing about which path (DJ vs Player) was the right one. I really have nothing against anyone who wants to pursue either lifestyle.
I'm sure some of my friends consider me a player but I don't think of myself that way. I go out of my way to make sure that every woman I'm with, never harbours bad feelings about me after we split. I don't think many players do that. Yet I regularly get phone calls from all kinds women I dated from years gone by.
Both paths are definitely different but first and foremost is success with women. Which is why we are all here in the first place. No need to argue about it.