"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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You want someone you just met to like you?

Georgepithyou

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Ask them open-ended questions about themselves. Don't wait for your turn to speak. Listen, and then ask a follow-up question based on what they said. If you do that a couple of times, that person feels heard and appreciated by you. If they realize they're doing all the talking, they'll apologize and ask a question of you. If your answer is short and pivots back into something they said, you have now formed a connection in their mind as a good listener who is interested in what they have to say. People like that a lot.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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TheProspect

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Depends on the context, but generally yes, people like to talk about themselves, and it's a good idea in most cases to give them the opportunity to do so.

At the same time, you don't want to turn a date or an interaction into an interrogation.

If a girl is shy or reserved and you keep on firing off questions she'll feel like she's in an interview, and unless you can find a more creative way to build rapport, she's not going to be too comfortable fielding question after question from a stranger she just met (unless of course she's already super into you).

Of course being a good conversationalist includes being able to ask good questions and being a good listener, but it also involves being able to adapt to any given context.

Going in with the mindset of "I'll ask open-ended questions, listen, and re-direct the conversation back to her when she asks about me" is great until you discover she's shy and too reserved to answer at length or she can't hold a conversation. It's great until you discover her interest is medium at best or that she is using the same strategy as you and you end up playing question hot potato with each other.

Overall, I do think asking open-ended questions and listening are great tools to have in the conversationalist skillset (active listening might be the most effective out of anything else).

However, a well-rounded schmoozer, in addition to listening and open-ended questions, will know when to invite the right amounts of humour, wit, charm, intrigue, and even vulnerability into a conversation.
 
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