You try to trap her..but now YOUS can't leave

[Gamisch]

A friend of mine is going through an interesting but yet cliche phase with his girl.

Met via OLD, lived together after one year. Bought house with her..Got her pregnant shortly after 2 years in now..

Now the bedroom is DEAD. I told him the only way to solve this is to leave...but geuss what?
- his entire ego is chained to her
- including his image
- got the dream life looking from the outside( white picket fence yall call this? )
- he tried to trap her by making all these big moves fast, but here's the kicker gents..

Shelf life= shelf life. It's not unheard of that a 7+ hb will be tired of your azz after 1 year. No matter how much you try to trap her, she will eventually "escape " and go back the streets and now YOUS cant leave..


The dead bedroom won't ever be fixed. Now he is getting sex like a teenager gets money from papa or even worse if you a man; from mama.

Your thoughts gentlemen.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

I would bet she had red flags that he ignored at the time (conciously or not)

A friend of mine is going through an interesting but yet cliche phase with his girl.

Met via OLD, lived together after one year. Bought house with her..Got her pregnant shortly after 2 years in now..

Too much, too soon.

- his entire ego is chained to her
- including his image

Sounds bad. Too many mistakes, he had it coming.

 

[ValiantMale]

Your friends not that smart --which is fine. But to generalize the expeirence of all men based on one idiot is not smart either. I've known a handful of dudes that been with ag irl 6 years, 8 years, some married for 25-35 years. If the woman gets tired of a man after 1 year, thats based on her own individual needs.. which we don't know about.. Unless u're seeing how he slays in bed idk if u can judge his situation. he probably is lousy in the sack.

Like I keep telling people, sex controls beautiful women. If u can blow her world, she'll almost never leave. Ive seen the most crazy examples of this before... Most recently Cardi B and Offset.. he cheated on her countless times, embarassed her in front of th eworld--she kept going back.. why? she coudlnt fin danyone better sexually... she even recently got with a NFL star and siht didnt last long because why? most likely sexual comparison.. he didnt stack up. No matter how many men she tried to be with she'd always go back. Recently Offset celebrated the fact that it didnt wrok out with the nfl star becaus ehe knows, he's #1 no matter where she goes.. why? only about 5-10% of men can really own a girl sexually...

I keep telling average guys.. focus on the sexual confidence.. the rest is going to be achieved normally beause most capable men attain for financial status, to be good at communication, to build skills, etc.. they usually already are socially adept as well.. But pure sexual confidence --usually represented by those tall black dudes who are always suave and cool (because they know their sexaully capability), comes from knowing u can control urself, knowing u got a big pipe, knownig u can bring a girl to orgasm multiple times.

 

[Gamisch]

I would bet she had red flags that he ignored at the time (conciously or not)



Too much, too soon.



Sounds bad. Too many mistakes, he had it coming.

She is pretty...other than that? Hard to tell. Another one that stands out to me: most men try to hide their gf from their social circle as much as they can.

This MAY sound smart, but at the same time she continues to live her life as in, she will invite all of her 1000 friends. Remember, they share they're lives now...for years dude's place was a hang out where we could chill, blaze, game ect..ofcourse we all grow up. But to completely shield yourself is another extreme.

It's yet another cautionary tale ,because imo this is the first trap men willfully fall for. It's not even a real trap because it's mostly the MAN who forces this un hopes of nailing her down completely.

Take babysteps before thinking about babies..he is about to learn a really hard lesson I'm afraid

 

[Gamisch]

Your friends not that smart --which is fine. But to generalize the expeirence of all men based on one idiot is not smart either. I've known a handful of dudes that been with ag irl 6 years, 8 years, some married for 25-35 years. If the woman gets tired of a man after 1 year, thats based on her own individual needs.. which we don't know about.. Unless u're seeing how he slays in bed idk if u can judge his situation. he probably is lousy in the sack.

Like I keep telling people, sex controls beautiful women. If u can blow her world, she'll almost never leave. Ive seen the most crazy examples of this before... Most recently Cardi B and Offset.. he cheated on her countless times, embarassed her in front of th eworld--she kept going back.. why? she coudlnt fin danyone better sexually... she even recently got with a NFL star and siht didnt last long because why? most likely sexual comparison.. he didnt stack up. No matter how many men she tried to be with she'd always go back. Recently Offset celebrated the fact that it didnt wrok out with the nfl star becaus ehe knows, he's #1 no matter where she goes.. why? only about 5-10% of men can really own a girl sexually...

I keep telling average guys.. focus on the sexual confidence.. the rest is going to be achieved normally beause most capable men attain for financial status, to be good at communication, to build skills, etc.. they usually already are socially adept as well.. But pure sexual confidence --usually represented by those tall black dudes who are always suave and cool (because they know their sexaully capability), comes from knowing u can control urself, knowing u got a big pipe, knownig u can bring a girl to orgasm multiple times.

We will never know what's happening in the sack right? Let's just say that she definitely has sexual interests that go beyond d1ck...so no matter how great he might be, she is a free spirit who probably feels trapped.

Not to cut her some slack, because she also couldn't resist his newly found/ gained status and money...

I don't fully agree with your example about. Cardio B. Offset definitely has the status and slept with more than triple digits of women. NFL star probably was a beta bytch at heart, cuddled since youth, whereas Offset was selling drugs on the corner.

 

[ValiantMale]

We will never know what's happening in the sack right? Let's just say that she definitely has sexual interests that go beyond d1ck...so no matter how great he might be, she is a free spirit who probably feels trapped.

Not to cut her some slack, because she also couldn't resist his newly found/ gained status and money...

I don't fully agree with your example about. Cardio B. Offset definitely has the status and slept with more than triple digits of women. NFL star probably was a beta bytch at heart, cuddled since youth, whereas Offset was selling drugs on the corner.

That doesnt apply here. Stefon Diggs not only has more money than Offset but is a hood dude, more so than Offset who came from a nice area in Atlanta. Steofn wasn tthe only one who failed. She dated other guys too, rappers hoodsters.. Just kept going back to Offset-- it all comes down to sexual dominance. It baffles me how many men dont understand this -- it shows alot of lack of experience.

The women that always come back /stay no matter hwat u do its because of sexual ability. Not every man is capable of rocking her world like the #1 guy. Most men dont know what their doing. most men can tlast past 5 minutes. mostm en cant fill a woman up properly.

I always tell guys, never compete with a man whos more sexually capable than you-- he will cause u much heartbreak.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Like I keep telling people, sex controls beautiful women. If u can blow her world, she'll almost never leave.

^^This is partly true. It's not the sex per se, it's her attraction. Hot sex is a byproduct of that attraction.

If you can maintain her attraction, she will never leave unless you do something so egregious she has no choice but to leave assuming she values herself and has self respect. Many women DONT.

How to maintain her attraction (and tingles) in the long term?

Be strong, do NOT become a doormat/pushover, maintain frame and LEAD, pursue your own goals, do NOT become a "yes" man, say NO once in a awhile, introduce some distance into the RL from time to time (too much "togetherness" can kill attraction contrary to popular belief), make effort, do NOT become lazy and complacent, work out and maintain a hot physique and good grooming habits, surprise her once in awhile!

Stand up to her when warranted! Did I say be strong?

IF you can balance all this with being attentive and thoughtful in bed and out, you've pretty much got her for the duration.

My longest RL was six years and our attraction and hot sex never diminished during all those years! And our breakup wasn't due to loss of attraction either (long story for another time).

And what I wrote above is how HE behaved. And I was literally all over him whenever he walked through the door.

Did it piss me off at times? You betcha! But my attraction including sexual attraction never waned.

If you believe your d*ck alone is the magic sauce to keep her, you're being a bit naive.

It takes more than that.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Sega,
"If you believe your d*ck alone is the magic sauce to keep her, you're being a bit naive." So glad this came from a Woman,had I or any of the Older posters said this,Valient Male would have brushed it away as mere jealousy.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Met via OLD, lived together after one year. Bought house with her..Got her pregnant shortly after 2 years in now..

Male equivalent of girls in their teens and early 20s, who still lay down on the casting couch for a producer(established or otherwise) who promises to make her a star in exchange for their efforts, then act surprised when dropping their drawers for scumbags such as these DERAILS their careers irreparably

 

[Bible_Belt]

The lighting of the scene isn't an accident. Sonny tries to go out into the bright day light and not beat their a55es, but is compelled to return to the dark bar.

 

[Bingo-Player]

The ideology of the trad wife & Nuclear family IMO is not conducive to an exciting nor active sex life

Its why so many married men either become so aimless , start trying to cheat, heavily using porn or subscribing to fantasy services like only fans

The cold light of day is that once you go down that cookie cutter family / mortgage / 9-5 route sex becomes a route to procreation and thats it.

Once a woman's been pregnant and had a child I believe it signals a change in her ,shes no longer see's herself as that young sexy seductress she's now a mother out goes the slinky dresses and lingerie and in comes the dressing gowns , baggy jeans and period underwear

its both a psychological and physiological shift that some women will never return from

This is where sex at birthdays and christmas begins , women naturally do not need or particularly want as much sex as men especially after motherhood so most men are left kind of scratching their balls and fantasising about fvcking the new 22 year old intern in the office.

The only solution I believe is too either have a wife thats 10 years younger than you or a mistress

The mistress was very very common for men to have back in the 1900's , wife would be at home with the children and the man would have 1-2 nights a week in a hotel with a mistress

 

[Vanderdonck]

This is why you have to get some on the side without feelz. Even if it's just a tantric massage. It'll wake you up a bit and keep things fresh.

 

[Gamisch]

This is why you have to get some on the side without feelz. Even if it's just a tantric massage. It'll wake you up a bit and keep things fresh.

And what if SHE wants some " on the side"?.

She is also an entire being, remember?

 

[Vanderdonck]

And what if SHE wants some " on the side"?.

She is also an entire being, remember?

That's how most monogamous relationships go anyway.

 

[Gamisch]

The ideology of the trad wife & Nuclear family IMO is not conducive to an exciting nor active sex life

Its why so many married men either become so aimless , start trying to cheat, heavily using porn or subscribing to fantasy services like only fans

The cold light of day is that once you go down that cookie cutter family / mortgage / 9-5 route sex becomes a route to procreation and thats it.

Once a woman's been pregnant and had a child I believe it signals a change in her ,shes no longer see's herself as that young sexy seductress she's now a mother out goes the slinky dresses and lingerie and in comes the dressing gowns , baggy jeans and period underwear

its both a psychological and physiological shift that some women will never return from

This is where sex at birthdays and christmas begins , women naturally do not need or particularly want as much sex as men especially after motherhood so most men are left kind of scratching their balls and fantasising about fvcking the new 22 year old intern in the office.

The only solution I believe is too either have a wife thats 10 years younger than you or a mistress

The mistress was very very common for men to have back in the 1900's , wife would be at home with the children and the man would have 1-2 nights a week in a hotel with a mistress

Here's more:

So instead of "trying to find his ballz back" mostly a man will double and triple down on his initial strategy of showering her with love/attention/gifts/ romantic gestures.

My fecking heart skipped a beat when he said he was looking for a ring...like dude! She tried to GET OUT.

Interestingly most men play this game like those old fighting games where you get 3 or 4 specials:
- going steady/ giving her the LTR
- living together
- impregnate her
-marriage
- huge dream vacation
- huge gift such as a car or somethingexpensive

All of those MIGHT work temporarily and give "the relationship some air " . But deep down the man knows that he soon runs our of hailmaries .

 

[Gamisch]

^^This is partly true. It's not the sex per se, it's her attraction. Hot sex is a byproduct of that attraction.

If you can maintain her attraction, she will never leave unless you do something so egregious she has no choice but to leave assuming she values herself and has self respect. Many women DONT.

How to maintain her attraction (and tingles) in the long term?

Be strong, do NOT become a doormat/pushover, maintain frame and LEAD, pursue your own goals, do NOT become a "yes" man, say NO once in a awhile, introduce some distance into the RL from time to time (too much "togetherness" can kill attraction contrary to popular belief), make effort, do NOT become lazy and complacent, work out and maintain a hot physique and good grooming habits, surprise her once in awhile!

Stand up to her when warranted! Did I say be strong?

IF you can balance all this with being attentive and thoughtful in bed and out, you've pretty much got her for the duration.

My longest RL was six years and our attraction and hot sex never diminished during all those years! And our breakup wasn't due to loss of attraction either (long story for another time).

And what I wrote above is how HE behaved. And I was literally all over him whenever he walked through the door.

Did it piss me off at times? You betcha! But my attraction including sexual attraction never waned.

If you believe your d*ck alone is the magic sauce to keep her, you're being a bit naive.

It takes more than that.

Imo it's really simple:

If you can't repeat getting it you were never meant to have it.

(This wisdom is a distant cousin from the saying " if you can't buy it twice you can't afford it")

You see, the problem is that the protagonist in my story feels like he got "soooo lucky" to find her, whereas she obviously feels...indifferent to getting specifically a man like him. Let keep it a buck: she can go to ANY event/ festival / social circle setting /dating app / walk in the park on a sunny day and find a new man. Perhaps more disciplined ,more charming more whatever.

On the other side: he's been literally looking for her " allll my liiiiiife, I pray for someone like yooooouu" .

Really interesting lesson here. I know u respond 5o one of the two woken on here but yet : A man must feel somewhat indifferent about (losing) his woman. The perfect place would be a spot where it hurts ,but he doesn'tGAF and moves on instantly.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Imo it's really simple:

If you can't repeat getting it you were never meant to have it.

(This wisdom is a distant cousin from the saying " if you can't buy it twice you can't afford it")

You see, the problem is that the protagonist in my story feels like he got "soooo lucky" to find her, whereas she obviously feels...indifferent to getting specifically a man like him. Let keep it a buck: she can go to ANY event/ festival / social circle setting /dating app / walk in the park on a sunny day and find a new man. Perhaps more disciplined ,more charming more whatever.

On the other side: he's been literally looking for her " allll my liiiiiife, I pray for someone like yooooouu" .

Really interesting lesson here. I know u respond 5o one of the two woken on here but yet : A man must feel somewhat indifferent about (losing) his woman. The perfect place would be a spot where it hurts ,but he doesn'tGAF and moves on instantly.

On a scale of 1-5, where 1 is the worse and 5 is the best, rate the following:

childless woman, mid 30’s never married, body count 20, 2.5 year relationship, living with divorced man with 3 kids, no ring, no rush or demand for a ring, cooks, cleans, decorates, shops, supports your well being, pays rent/ splits bills, mother figure without being imposing and knows and respect her place, supports good relationship with ex wife, ex wife literally loves her, calls her second mother to kids, makes romantic gestures and does all the little things; always, literally every single time, chooses you first above all others; puts out twice a day and if can’t, blows you twice a day

 

[Gamisch]

On a scale of 1-5, where 1 is the worse and 5 is the best, rate the following:

childless woman, mid 30’s never married, body count 20, 2.5 year relationship, living with divorced man with 3 kids, no ring, no rush or demand for a ring, cooks, cleans, decorates, shops, supports your well being, pays rent/ splits bills, mother figure without being imposing and knows and respect her place, supports good relationship with ex wife, ex wife literally loves her, calls her second mother to kids, makes romantic gestures and does all the little things; always, literally every single time, chooses you first above all others; puts out twice a day and if can’t, blows you twice a day

Sounds like you got a good thing going on.

And that's how it supposed to be. 100% cooperation and adjusting. No less than that.

Will it last forever? We'll see. But as long as it lasts, enjoy it to the fullest and reward her for doing a great job.

 

[Clockwerk50]

That doesnt apply here. Stefon Diggs not only has more money than Offset but is a hood dude, more so than Offset who came from a nice area in Atlanta. Steofn wasn tthe only one who failed. She dated other guys too, rappers hoodsters.. Just kept going back to Offset-- it all comes down to sexual dominance. It baffles me how many men dont understand this -- it shows alot of lack of experience.

The women that always come back /stay no matter hwat u do its because of sexual ability. Not every man is capable of rocking her world like the #1 guy. Most men dont know what their doing. most men can tlast past 5 minutes. mostm en cant fill a woman up properly.

I always tell guys, never compete with a man whos more sexually capable than you-- he will cause u much heartbreak.

So let me get this straight, you’re comparing sexual performance and dominance between an NFL athlete and a rapper, and you’re saying the rapper wins, when sex itself is literally an athletic act? On top of that, have you considered that out of all the men Cardi B’s been with, Offset was the only one who actually took her back — not the other way around?

In marketing, there’s a saying: “What gets measured gets managed.” The problem is, you’re acting like you can measure who’s more sexually dominant or who’s a simp just from the outside looking in. That’s why these conversations go nowhere since it’s all ridiculous assumptions.

 

[ValiantMale]

So let me get this straight, you’re comparing sexual performance and dominance between an NFL athlete and a rapper, and you’re saying the rapper wins, when sex itself is literally an athletic act? On top of that, have you considered that out of all the men Cardi B’s been with, Offset was the only one who actually took her back — not the other way around?

In marketing, there’s a saying: “What gets measured gets managed.” The problem is, you’re acting like you can measure who’s more sexually dominant or who’s a simp just from the outside looking in. That’s why these conversations go nowhere since it’s all ridiculous assumptions.

I can't tell if you're being serious. But being an athlete ha snothing to do with sexual performance. Some men last a few minutes in bed, some men have a smaller penis size, etc. --Everything I mentioned about the Cardi B / Offset situation was based on facts-- between what both of them posted on social media and live streams on instagram.

I think you're trying to cope with the fact that sexual dominance is a real big factor int odays marketplace. If you can't stack up to the men in her life who have rocked her world, you'll never be taken seriously. ENjoy being a free dinner date.