"You treat me like one of your friends"

[Ayoooo]

My girlfriend has been distant for a while. I mean we still talk and get along but last week we was talking and it all came out as to why. We have been going out for 3years now, and she told me things have changed I do not show her enough love. And I treat her like my friend and not my GF she said she wants me to go back to making her feel loved. I just don't know what she wants I try, I call her loads and tell her I love her.But it gets me no where.Lately i've been spending time with her family and she really likes it. I just can't think of ways to show her I love her. I grew up with my dad being a bit distant and maybe I have somewhat addapted his methods?
She said she misses me writing long emails to her and making her feel like a women and things along those lines. She says a lot the times I do talk to her I speak to her like she's just another person. And I've been trying for atleast 2weeks to try but she don't see it.



what do you think?



Anytips from anyone?



Thanks.

 

[The_Unit]

I dug this out of the DJ Bible for you, because I think I might be in a similar situation. This is a post made in 2001 by Wyldfire, and it has some good stuff in there.

1)Interest and Attraction...this is where two people initially see or meet each other and decide they both want to get to know each other better.

2)Infatuation and Falling in Love...this is the stage where you become blinded by your emotions and often times behave like a love sick puppy dog. The attention and mushiness of the other person makes you feel really great about yourself and you begin to fall "in love"...this is all about how YOU feel about yourself because of the other person. IT is NOT love. It is that thing that reduces you to a slobbering fool who speaks in "baby talk".

3) The Comfort Zone...this is where you start to relax, and move out of the infatuation stage into something more "real". This is also the time where feelings begin to deepen towards the other person while experiencing a reduced feeling of being "in love". After being in this stage for awhile many people make the mistake of thinking the relationship is in trouble because they aren't still infatuated. In reality, the relationship is beginning to grow into Mature Love. So many people bail at this point and never actually reach the "Love" stage.

4) Mature Love...this is the real deal, folks. You have reached the point of having a genuinely mature relationship, that, if you have chosen the right partner, is a beautiful thing.

Reaching Stage 4 doesn't mean the fun is all over, though. You can and will go from stage to stage at different times throughout the relationship. You can even learn to do things that will make you and your partner feel infatuated and falling in love all over again.

Most relationships are either made or broken during the Comfort Zone. That is the most important time to really work your DJ skills in a relationship so your partner doesn't bail.

It's pretty obvious you're in stage 3. I'm in stage 3 in my LTR too. Before I found this post, I worried because I thought the relationship was in trouble. But then again the more I think about it the more that was not true.


So what can you do? Go on the attack. Set up romantic surprises for your gf . She said it herself, she misses the infatuation. Return to it, I'm sure you got plenty of tricks up your sleeve. surprise her. it could be anything, and it can come anytime, anywhere. when shes least expecting it. Use your imagination, and u'll do fine. show her how romantic you can be.

 

[wayword]

Hi-maintenance beeches...

Tell her the more you give, the more you get...

I mean, what the he!! has she done for YOU lately?


Girls...always wanting more, more, MORE!!!!

If anything, you're doing too much for her to want more. Look at K-Fed. Was always out partying and spending Britney's money...you think he gave a hot damn about what she said she wanted? And yet she was the one who asked HIM to marry her and got knocked up TWICE by him! Maybe that's what your gf means by wanting you to make her "feel like a woman?" Be more DJ, less AFC.

 

[SmokeX]

I'm in between stage 2 and 3 right now. We have some *Problems* that we are dealing with. But nonetheless working our way into stage 3.

 

[Hitman10000]

Personally I think we should replace "Comfort zone" to "Are we friends?" , Not to confuse people about being friends with your girl. But honestly you cannot have a really good relationship with 1. communication 2. honesty 3. having fun and that equals good friendship, doesn't it? Even though one person may have had difficulty in their childhood to be more open, you should honestly be with someone who is openly more communicative and offer a different viewpoint (rather than an opinion or judgement which offers no evaluation by you.)

I read somewhere on here that if the girl isn't calling half the shots in the relationship after the initial dating (which the guy is supposedly be responsible for.) and you feel like you're doing all the work then you're being taken advantage of and should reevaluate your current relationship.