Pook's The Secret of the Jerk.....simplified.
Opinions from women about nice guys.
I don't like the nice guy. To me he's a definite turn off. He seems too timid to pursue intimacy, and personally
The "NICE GUY" is often a man who doesn't have a life. And neither sex is attracted to this type of person. A truly nice guy is hard to find. A true jerk most women don't want. I think we try to make people fit into a category instead of getting to know them. You can't always know what a woman wants based on another woman's choices.
The thing is, the nice guys who are with a woman are not out there complaining that women don't like nice guys. The nice guys who are not with a woman will express their loneliness, in a nice way, from time to time. The jerks who are not with a woman never complain about it. They lie and say they do have a woman, or many women, or they don't want a woman. Nice guys don't lie like that.
Women get a lot better looking TO YOU after you know and love them.
I don't think that women are attracted to jerks, but they are attracted to men that illuminate power. Those type of men(powerful, strong and masculine) are sometimes jerks, which accounts for the confusion.
The nice guy sometimes is not strong or powerful and that's what turns women off. So in essence, it's not the fact that they are nice, it's that they may be lacking other attractive qualities that out weigh the niceness.
Ultimately, I love nice guys that illuminate strength and masculinity. There is no better combination.
CONSENSUS
NICE GUY: Male who is scared of his testosterone and seeks to sterilize himself with his niceness.
JERK: A male who merely acts male. He is controlled by his testosterone. This is why he gets into trouble.
GREAT GUY: A guy who can CONTROL his sexuality and acts male WITHOUT getting into trouble.
I got the e-mail about the nice guys vs. jerks. I'm totally for nice guys in a relationship, but when it comes to lusting or dreaming about a guy, it's usually the jerks, b/c most jerks have the nice bodies and have that something that's sexy about them.
I've dated guys who are nice - JUST nice, and I get bored after about three dates. "Bad boys" are much more interesting, of course, although it's not a wish of women that these guys are REALLY bad. Misunderstood would be a better word.
By the time you realize it, you may have been dating this jerk for a while. When you ditch him, it's "on with the search." For the same damned thing. This is where guys will get the idea that jerks get all the women. They see us in the process of the search. What they need to understand is that we're not looking for some nasty idiot; behind it all is the wish to find that guy who can be trouble to everyone else but nice to us.
Nice guys vs. jerks isn't the real issue here, it is all about confidence. The major difference between nice guys and jerks is this: if a nice guy has the guts to approach a woman who has caught his attention, he is so worried about saying the perfect "nice" thing that he will totally flub it. The "nice" one ends up stumbling away from the object of his desires with his tail caught between his legs ... for those who don't already realize, this is NOT the impression you want to make!
A jerk, on the other hand, appears to have been blessed with ability to approach anyone and say just what's on his mind completely disregarding any of the repercussions. He just does it. I have no clue how he does it. But DAMN, the man who has the confidence to accomplish that has caught my eye for the night whether he wants it or not!
Don't think women don't like nice guys. There is an initial appeal to a jerk, but it doesn't last long. As long as you don't act desperate and have a little something going for you, believe me, a nice guy CAN finish first - and with the girl of his dreams.
Opinion from the guys:
One thing to add on the nice guys V jerks thing: jerks win because in their selfish insensitivity they never hide their raw sexuality. Nice guys in their sensitivity hide their sexuality because they think it will oppress women.
Women are powerfully attracted to guys who are open with their sexuality, thus the jerks win.
To be open with your sexuality all you gotta do is be yourself knowing that it is fine to feel sexual about her, just don't drool or go straight for the Wanna F**k approach (although even that works about 10% of the time).
Be nice by all means, in fact I would advocate nothing but niceness, but you gotta combine it with strength and let your sexuality shine through. After all, the difference between you and the jerk is that you are nice, he is sexual, but who does she take home???
It is STRENGTH women are attracted to. But where does this strength come from? Why do guys love crushing their bodies in the gym or in sports? It is the testosterone.
Flaunt the things you're good at or like to do, or your accomplishments. But don't lie, so that upon confrontation, you're open-jawed.
Wimpy men! That perfectly describes this guys who are scared of their sexuality, of the effects their testosterone might have on them.
Girls do like jerks, especially the pretty girls (fair or not you fellows know the pretty ones are the ones we want).
It is not that Nice Guys finish last. It is that Nice Guys, when it comes to the woman's lust, do not win at all.
Actors, pro athletes, rock stars, and drug dealers are always awash with women, and these guys are known scum.
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You don't necessarily have to have a muscular body to have dominance. You don't necessarily have to be strong to be a jerk. Being dominant and being a jerk is how you think. It's testosterone. Napoleon Bonaparte was one of the greatest generals of all time, yet he was only five feet tall.
Tom Cruise is beloved by a lot of women. But I've seen him in real life. He's short. I tower over him.
Orlando Bloom is a bit girly. But women love him. He's not a jerk. He's not a nice guy. No, he is what Pook describes as the "Great Catch". The Great Catch is not a nice guy. The Great Catch is not a jerk. The Great Catch is the nice guy with balls.
