"You remind me of my brother."...??? (kinda long)

[Big Eee Zee]

Greetings all, another post from me. I hate adding to the pile of posts begging for advice, but I have a complicated situation that is slightly above my head (and I can't find any other threads on it), so I humbly beseech the advice from the masters...

I am a recovering AFC, trying to break into the world of success, but my nice guy felt the need to leave me one more pile of $hit in my lap before it left.
I have slowly developed something equating oneitis for a girl I know. I started being good friends with her about three months ago and LOVE hanging out with her. She is a blast. That has turned into attraction, despite my best efforts to the contrary. I like her for her personality, and thats it. (Sounds cliche, but its true.) Today I went jogging with her, and we were doing crunches in her front yard, got into a discussion and that ended up in a wrestling match. I pinned her, of course. So the discussion went to prom, and how she doesn't have a date. She said she loves guys that piss people off. I'm rather loud and opinionated and pointed out that I piss people off. She said:

"But its different with you, you remind me of my brother."
She has said that before, but told me it was definately a good thing, I have the same judgement as him or something, whatever that means.

Now, this girl doesnt exactly have guys beating down her door, she gets very few. Shes not bad looking by any stretch, but is definately not attractive. You probably wouldn't look twice at her. Her good friend told me I probably wouldn't have a chance, but then again her friend is more or less useless in that respect. We get along well, and all of my guy friends are telling me to go for it. Even people who don't know I like her and wouldn't say anything unless it was true tell me they think she has the hots for me. We do flirt enough...It also may be worth noting that she is kinda weirdly close to her brother; she idolizes him.

I don't buy that "friendzone is not recoverable" garbage, so I wonder: is there any way to approach this and make it work? Everyone I know thinks I have a chance. Is there anything I can do in this situation? What would you guys do to make this work?

(Also, I can't just say "I love you", first its a bad idea and second I need an out because I have to spend a week with her for beach week, and don't want it to be mega-awkward.)

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

You are LJBF'd bro. She see's you as a brother. That's ******** speak for "I think you're great, but sleeping with you would be like sleeping with my brother...I'm going to tell you that you being like my brother is a good thing to soften your ego...but you will never have a chance at this poontang" Women don't want men that remind her of her brother...unless her brother is Brad Pitt

Is there a way from this LJBF zone? Yes...but it will take patience on your part. Basically, you have to stop being around her and stop being so available. Date other women, show her what she's missing out on.

You know..this is like the third post I've read today about being too available for a woman. There are tons of ideas on this subject...do a search.

Basically...stop being available for her..stop being needy. Change her image of you from this guy who reminds you of her brother..to a guy that she wants to bang. Raise your social proof around other women, give and take away your attention to her...and be a challenge..

 

[Big Eee Zee]

started doing that. I used to talk to her a fair bit, this was the first time I saw her or talked to her outside of school in about a week. I decided I won't call her again-she has to call me first. I guess getting around would be a big help too, make her a bit jealous.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Big Eee Zee
She said she loves guys that piss people off.

Translation: "I like men who aren't afraid to rock the boat."

I'm rather loud and opinionated and pointed out that I piss people off.

Translation: "What about me? I like to rock the boat! Please like me? Pleeeease??"

"But its different with you, you remind me of my brother."

Translation: "I also like men that are romantically attractive and masculine, which you are not."

Harsh, dude...but true.

 

[Big Eee Zee]

Although I want to hit for that, you are probably right.

What-the-fvck-ever though, I guess I'll just wait for beach week and make a few drunken hook-ups with her then next her, I won't see her in college anyways. I have a sneaking feeling that if I *do* manage to get her, she won't measure up to what I want her to be anyways. It just sucks to be in a small school with so few girls to pick from.


Dam, where all the ladies at?!?

 

[Absolut Rogue]

Female Perspective - Clearing Up a Myth

Okay, so I know this is a very old post, and nobody who actually posted probably cares anymore, but anyone "googling" this topic might find my response helpful. I'm a twenty-something female with *some* modest experience with men. So I thought I'd at least shed some estrogen on the topic.

When a woman compares a man to her brother, it doesn't necessarily always mean that she thinks of him as a brother. Those are two different things. Sometimes, yes, that might be what we mean, but a woman experienced in letting a man down easy would never say this. It's cliche. In fact, I just told a guy the other day that he reminded me of my brother sometimes, but I didn't mean it in a bad way. In fact, I happen to want this guy pretty bad and if he weren't seeing someone else, I'd be all over him. I meant they share a similar sense of humor, and I love my brother's sense of humor. Generally, when I size men up as potential long term mates, one of my first thoughts is, "would my brothers like him?" So it is natural in a sense for a women to compare their prospects to the important men in their lives. That is not to say that it is *always* a good thing either. I guess it depends as much on the woman as it does when a guy compares a girl to his mother. It's just not a black and white subject. So... hope that helps. Wanted to get it out there.