"You look intimidating"

[The TallOne]

A friend (girl) of mine last night said..


"Perhaps the reason why you don't get a lot of girls, is because you look intimidating all the time."

I don't know how many of you guys are familar with DD's stuff.. but that is a "re-programming" right there.

Anybody else have/had this problem (if it is a problem) and how to deal with it?

I am the type of person who tends to speak his mind, and be very blunt, which is not always a good thing.

 

[Phoenix_of_the_ashes]

Yeah me too, girls call me hard and cold, but I dont give a ****, I tell them I take it as a compliment and they laugh.

 

[The TallOne]

Originally posted by Phoenix_of_the_ashes
Yeah me too, girls call me hard and cold, but I dont give a ****, I tell them I take it as a compliment and they laugh.

Pretty much what I said back.

I am 6'5", 185ish lbs.

I think the height is the biggest factor.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Learn tact and start smiling more, that's all it takes.

 

[Ian1983]

Originally posted by The TallOne
Pretty much what I said back.

I am 6'5", 185ish lbs.

I think the height is the biggest factor.

damn, your big but not heavy are you.
I'm 5' 11" and weigh that (9% bf)

I used to get the imtimidating all the time from people, mainly because I don't talk that much, but you'd be surprised how far a smile can change that.

 

[So Many Ways]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Learn tact and start smiling more, that's all it takes.

I agree, I've had the same problem and a smile can change that for the better.

 

[ShizamDaMan]

It's all about how you come off upon initial contact. I'm 6'0" 210 lbs and no one has ever called me intimidating. Probably cause I'm always relaxed looking and either have a happy or neutral expression.

Vocal tones are also key. I wouldn't stress out over it so much.

 

[dookie]

I think I might project a intimidating look since I don't smile until the girl smiles or takes a second look. I think I am doing it so that I don't appear "weak." My prob is that I have confusion on what to do after you have that initial eye contact with a women, smile or don't? At work, I have seen a few girls several times (and hold eye contact with them for atlest 3secs with a neutral expression on my face... mabe a very slight smirk) but I am now thinking that if I see the same girl a few times and we look at each other and after a few seconds of eye contact, I should give a smile (more teeth than normal) even if she doesn't... or no? (btw these are all hot girls that I would want to "be-friend" Any opinions?

 

[B9]

when in doubt: smile.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by The TallOne
A friend (girl) of mine last night said..


"Perhaps the reason why you don't get a lot of girls, is because you look intimidating all the time."

I don't know how many of you guys are familar with DD's stuff.. but that is a "re-programming" right there.

Anybody else have/had this problem (if it is a problem) and how to deal with it?

I am the type of person who tends to speak his mind, and be very blunt, which is not always a good thing.

Relax a little bit...and put a full smile on.

Makes a hella difference.

 

[MoveYourAss...]

happens to me to, as an alpha-misunderstanding. As such, it depends a bit on which surrounding you are at the moment.

A friend told me it looks desperate. I meet a lot of guys in his mode, but with the girls it's not too succesful. I realized he's right. At least to a certain extend. He's the opposite, not sociable, alpha body langauge etc. but maybe both are exaggerating in the extremes.

There is a nice arricle on EC in week 1 of the BC. Check it out.

MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow

 

[Phoenix_of_the_ashes]

MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow

True, thats called cognitive dissonance.

 

[biker_gixxer]

"Perhaps the reason why you don't get a lot of girls, is because you look intimidating all the time."

What you have to remember is that you're TALL, this in itself is intimidating to most people because it puts you in a position of 'dominance'. Put a smile on your face, show your confident by giving a cute girl a 'wink' when she walks by and you'll be amazed by the feed back.

 

[biker_gixxer]

My prob is that I have confusion on what to do after you have that initial eye contact with a women, smile or don't?

Crack a small smile with a 'wink'. A 'wink' shows your playful and confident. Two qualities that are very powerful together.


I think I might project a intimidating look since I don't smile until the girl smiles or takes a second look. I think I am doing it so that I don't appear "weak."

There are other ways to keep from looking 'weak' then not smiling. You'll get a better response from girls with a warm friendly smile then a serious look.

 

[tibbetts]

Yeah, some girls say I look intimidating as well. Its usually the white girls. I'm 6'6 and weight 248 lbs (last time I checked) and have tats all over. But for some reason I always attract the black girls and latinas (guess they like the thuggish look) I'm white BTW. Asian girls only like me for my blue eyes.

 

[DeathDealer]

Think about this for a bit, you see THE ROCK (Ex Pro Wrestler walking around)

Would you talk to the:

1. The Rock, stern look in his face doing his macho walk.

2. The Rock, stern look but starts smiling when he comes closer to you.

Which one is more approachable?

 

[dookie]

Well I can understand the closer proximity and smile. But what about when you are about 20-25 feet away (either walking opposite direction (escalator / hallway / <-work setting) and you lock eyes with a girl for a few secs? Count to 3 and smile even if she doesn't? I am thinking about trying out the smile and wink idea at work (or would that be crossing the line?)