"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
You guys tell me to next EVERY girl I post about
- Thread starter Demystify
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Hidden-Hand
Don Juan
I got some advice for you- Stop posting questions about your relationships on this site. Read the tips and make improvements on yourself, then make decisions for yourself. Whats the worse that can happen? You'll fail? Oh well failures is the best teacher. Seriously.Demystify said:
Byezbozhniy
Don Juan
That's probably because so many people come here after causing irrepairable AFC damage.
People come here without their inner game sorted, get shat on by a oneitis and then ask the guys here what they should do.
People come here without their inner game sorted, get shat on by a oneitis and then ask the guys here what they should do.
zekko
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2009
- Messages
- 16,806
- Reaction score
- 10,039
That's actually pretty good advice I think, pretty profound. Read the tips here and learn the fundamentals, then make your own decisions. If you're going to learn to fish, and fish well, at some point you've got to get out there on your own and fish. Trust yourself, trust your gut. No one here has as much invested in your situations as you do.Hidden-Hand said:
Most advice you get here will be contradictory anyway.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
thecurtainfalls
Senior Don Juan
Asking for advice to get outside opinions for further inner clarification is one thing -- after all, I'm not presumptuous enough to think that I can't benefit from some outside opinions. Just know that the keyboard jockey/bad advice voices far outnumber the good ones on this site, and trust your gut to figure out which advice you like or don't like. Simple as that.
I don't post about my relationship problems on here when I have them. I take some time and reflect on it, think about it. I have a few close friends in real life I might ask for advice if I am really stumped. But mainly I go with my gut and if I'm wrong I learn something. Like someone said, failure is the best teacher.
Also use the search button, see if others have had the same problems and read about what they said instead of posting about it. I personally would only take advice on a direct situation from only a handful of people on the internet, half of which are not on this site.
Also use the search button, see if others have had the same problems and read about what they said instead of posting about it. I personally would only take advice on a direct situation from only a handful of people on the internet, half of which are not on this site.
HeyPachuco!
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2009
- Messages
- 618
- Reaction score
- 12
Hey, I was just about to post the same thread.
I'm constantly NEXTING these son of a b!tches and I think its due to this forum. Surely you can't be next'ing girls, left right and centre?
I've followed the code of conducts, but b!tches will always overpower a man through ''mindgames'' and all the other assorted bullsh!t (because they're forever accounted for with other potential liabilities - its endless). Women have a reason to NEXT - because men always throw themselves at women.
Some of these girls have p!ssed my week off already and it's only wednesday. To be honest, I'm actually through with these phonecalls going from conversations to calling back to not picking up to diverting my call. I don't even txt anymore, I forgotten the transitions on my buttons.
Personally, I can take sh!t tests easy and jealousy stunts but recently it just seems like its a epidemic of girls who think they're already on pedestals even if you haven't put them on one.
There is a thread on tips with "LOVE women - dont hate them" - So I ask, if a women plays mindgames with you ...love her? If she rejects you ...love her or NEXT!!? ..If she has no obligation of ending any interaction, what do you do.. oh, Love her!!
crap.
It's like being in a que for mcdonald's, gotta wait your turn for garbage food. Sometimes i've got p!ssed off so much with the girl and it actually has worked out to getting laid in the end.
That was the old me - Since coming here, I've tuned down to TAKING anything thrown at me like fvcking sh!t tests and just ''MOVING ON'' to the next slvt and nexting so easily.
Next'ing is just a TERM for self preference to make you believe in yourself that you can have the next chick. I like going all the way to the bloody end. Why next? Winning is the only thing that should be on your mind with any slvt.
My patience is crumbling.
I'm constantly NEXTING these son of a b!tches and I think its due to this forum. Surely you can't be next'ing girls, left right and centre?
I've followed the code of conducts, but b!tches will always overpower a man through ''mindgames'' and all the other assorted bullsh!t (because they're forever accounted for with other potential liabilities - its endless). Women have a reason to NEXT - because men always throw themselves at women.
Some of these girls have p!ssed my week off already and it's only wednesday. To be honest, I'm actually through with these phonecalls going from conversations to calling back to not picking up to diverting my call. I don't even txt anymore, I forgotten the transitions on my buttons.
Personally, I can take sh!t tests easy and jealousy stunts but recently it just seems like its a epidemic of girls who think they're already on pedestals even if you haven't put them on one.
There is a thread on tips with "LOVE women - dont hate them" - So I ask, if a women plays mindgames with you ...love her? If she rejects you ...love her or NEXT!!? ..If she has no obligation of ending any interaction, what do you do.. oh, Love her!!
crap.
It's like being in a que for mcdonald's, gotta wait your turn for garbage food. Sometimes i've got p!ssed off so much with the girl and it actually has worked out to getting laid in the end.
That was the old me - Since coming here, I've tuned down to TAKING anything thrown at me like fvcking sh!t tests and just ''MOVING ON'' to the next slvt and nexting so easily.
Next'ing is just a TERM for self preference to make you believe in yourself that you can have the next chick. I like going all the way to the bloody end. Why next? Winning is the only thing that should be on your mind with any slvt.
My patience is crumbling.
I Am Lost 18
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2009
- Messages
- 30
- Reaction score
- 0
Come on people, don't discourage us like losers over at other sites or Yahoo Answers do. Most of us joined this net-paradise with hopes you people are different.
Dont do this.
Dont do this.
everywomanshero
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 2, 2005
- Messages
- 1,814
- Reaction score
- 36
not every girl has to be marriage material... it's perfectly fine to *just have fun* with someone even if she has issues that you wouldn't want to be married to. I don't worry nonstop about being disrespected I worry about having fun. If I am not having fun anymore then I avoid a person or tell her straight up I am done unless that changes not to be rude but just to be honest. If I am having fun then I just enjoy it.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Everything you read on here, DJ bible included, are all rules of thumb. That means, in GENERAL you sort of follow them. They are not 'set in stone' rules. The thing is, you need to educated yourself, so you know when to break the rules.
The fact is, usually when newbies post about a girl, they have been LJBF'd, or have acted like a wuss, (or the chick is plain screwed up) and ruined their chances. So yes, nexting is MOST LIKELY the best option. That doesnt mean the situation cant be turned around, it means that its unlikely, and one would save themselves a huge headache, by moving on. You have to know the difference between persistance, and neediness. If a chick is putting up obstacles, your job as a man is to plow through them. But, when her IL gets lower and lower, its time to bail. Get an understanding of this, and learn when to break the rules. But, if you know when to break the rules, you're beyond posting here for advice.
You can learn a lot just by reading other peoples noob posts. You'll read them, and go "What a dumbass! make a move." or "dump that scandalous bytch, retard." and you'll realize you do the exact same things as the poster. Everyone thinks their situation is unique, but you'll all see that there are three or four basic categories of 'help with this one chick' posts, and that you have been through the same situation yourself, probably more than once. Everyones been LJBF'd for the same reason. Everyones dealt with the disrespectful chick with lots of guy friends. Everyone's dealt with the attention hor sending mixed signals, and everyones dealt with the chick with a BF that sends them signals anyway.
The main message you should be getting here, is to not ever worry about 'that one' chick. You should be reading the DJ bible, and learning how to turn yourself into the guy that chicks would kill for, instead of wondering what to do for one chick. Be a man, and go game more girls. If a chick disrespects you, its usually because you let her. She doesnt think you're a man. You usually can't change that All you can do, is learn from it, and dont make that mistake with the next chick. So, the rule of thumb is to 'next' disrespectful chicks. If you land in the friend zone, its extremely hard to get out. You're better off saying 'next.' (after growing some balls and making a last ditch move, liek make out with her, of course.) If she has a BF, you might be able to bang her, if your ethics allow, but if you get feelings, she will do it to you. You do NOT want to keep girls like that around, or you will be cheated on, and heartbroken. If a chick is an AW, and is rejecting your advances, move on.
Now, do any of you guys post about girls that arent in those few categories?
It is a turn on for women, when a man is not afraid to walk away. Also note that a lot of the times when you 'next' the chick, she comes chasing you, because you called her out, and proved you're not a pushover. Chicks WANT you to walk away when they pull bullshyt. It means you are a real man, and have passed her tests.
This is why we say 'spin plates.' if your having enough problems with a chick, that you are willing to come here and ask for advice, she aint worth your time. Call up one of your other hors instead. Dont have more hors? Grow some balls and APPROACH.
The fact is, usually when newbies post about a girl, they have been LJBF'd, or have acted like a wuss, (or the chick is plain screwed up) and ruined their chances. So yes, nexting is MOST LIKELY the best option. That doesnt mean the situation cant be turned around, it means that its unlikely, and one would save themselves a huge headache, by moving on. You have to know the difference between persistance, and neediness. If a chick is putting up obstacles, your job as a man is to plow through them. But, when her IL gets lower and lower, its time to bail. Get an understanding of this, and learn when to break the rules. But, if you know when to break the rules, you're beyond posting here for advice.
You can learn a lot just by reading other peoples noob posts. You'll read them, and go "What a dumbass! make a move." or "dump that scandalous bytch, retard." and you'll realize you do the exact same things as the poster. Everyone thinks their situation is unique, but you'll all see that there are three or four basic categories of 'help with this one chick' posts, and that you have been through the same situation yourself, probably more than once. Everyones been LJBF'd for the same reason. Everyones dealt with the disrespectful chick with lots of guy friends. Everyone's dealt with the attention hor sending mixed signals, and everyones dealt with the chick with a BF that sends them signals anyway.
The main message you should be getting here, is to not ever worry about 'that one' chick. You should be reading the DJ bible, and learning how to turn yourself into the guy that chicks would kill for, instead of wondering what to do for one chick. Be a man, and go game more girls. If a chick disrespects you, its usually because you let her. She doesnt think you're a man. You usually can't change that All you can do, is learn from it, and dont make that mistake with the next chick. So, the rule of thumb is to 'next' disrespectful chicks. If you land in the friend zone, its extremely hard to get out. You're better off saying 'next.' (after growing some balls and making a last ditch move, liek make out with her, of course.) If she has a BF, you might be able to bang her, if your ethics allow, but if you get feelings, she will do it to you. You do NOT want to keep girls like that around, or you will be cheated on, and heartbroken. If a chick is an AW, and is rejecting your advances, move on.
Now, do any of you guys post about girls that arent in those few categories?
It is a turn on for women, when a man is not afraid to walk away. Also note that a lot of the times when you 'next' the chick, she comes chasing you, because you called her out, and proved you're not a pushover. Chicks WANT you to walk away when they pull bullshyt. It means you are a real man, and have passed her tests.
This is why we say 'spin plates.' if your having enough problems with a chick, that you are willing to come here and ask for advice, she aint worth your time. Call up one of your other hors instead. Dont have more hors? Grow some balls and APPROACH.
Nygard
Senior Don Juan
Also, you're listening to keyboard jockeys. Why are you?, is the right question.
I guess it is understandable to next the girl if I'm having problems with her BUT I do think it would be helpful if you guys gave solutions to the problems instead of just telling me to next the girl, in case those problems arise with future girls
Da Realist
Master Don Juan
I think the reason is because there are times you really don't gain anything by just fixing specific problems because there are bigger issues going on. There are times when people mess up unintentionally because no one is perfect, but when there is a string of things going on and she doesn't care, either you need to get to the root or get rid of her. Time really is of the essence because you can't get it back and the more you spend with some whiny girl is the less you have to spend with a woman that is worth it.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
this is my first time (and post) in a while being on this site. i was deliberately forcing myself not to come back to this site; at least not as much as iw as before. this site promotes spinning plates, which i do as well, and have been doing. the problem i dont understand is _im tired of spinning plates_. i see all my buddies that arent players or anything that have girlfriends and im almost 21 and never had a legit girlfriend. all i get are one night stands or semi-frequent hookups but these arent fulfilling anymore. i dont really know how to approach it. lately there has been this girl for me that i might try and date but im about to go against al ot of the rules here and just see what happens. hopefully well be chillin together watching am ovie in the next few hours.
i guess what im trying to say is if you are looking for relationship advice i dont think this place is it. but if you are looking for finding multiple chicks to fúck on the regular this is the place to be. ive slowly molded myself over the years to be aggressive and having fun _all the time_ but when i talk to multiple buddies that have girlfriends, they say "i told her i liked her man and wanted something more. whats your problem your gettin all this ass?" which is completely against the rules according to this site.
i guess right now im too far on the spectrum of just not giving a shít and i need to tone it down just a little more. its a slow learning process i suppose especially when you see girls come and go
i guess what im trying to say is if you are looking for relationship advice i dont think this place is it. but if you are looking for finding multiple chicks to fúck on the regular this is the place to be. ive slowly molded myself over the years to be aggressive and having fun _all the time_ but when i talk to multiple buddies that have girlfriends, they say "i told her i liked her man and wanted something more. whats your problem your gettin all this ass?" which is completely against the rules according to this site.
i guess right now im too far on the spectrum of just not giving a shít and i need to tone it down just a little more. its a slow learning process i suppose especially when you see girls come and go
Solomon
Master Don Juan
pua1989 said:
Dude if you are out of the player phase
There is nothing wrong at all with being in a relatioship
stop letting other people influence your decisons, and be a man and make your own, that's what a DJ is!
You gotta go agaisnt the grain sometimes and go with your gut.
If you tired of "playing the game" find yourself a "quality" chick and do the girlfriend thing
peace