You can't lose interest if you don't see someone, right?

[ASUknowit18]

I'm trying to figure this out - And I know you guys can help.

Met a girl on a group trolley ride. She came back with me home, but just made out - Which was nice b/c she seemed fun/cool and worth pursuing, which Im not doing with a one night stand.

Asked her out (via text, I like the text game) and we went out for drinks. This was a Thursday. Just made out a little on the cab back to her place. Nice.

Asked for a second date. Went out for dinner. Came back to my place and hooked up (bj)...all good. That was the FOLLOWING Friday night.

The next Wednesday night, a mutual friend asks me and my roommate to go to a baseball game with her and the girl ive been dating - We go to the game, so 4 of us. We go out to the bars after and then she comes over and we have sex. All is well.

She was going out of town on that saturday and Sunday, I had a dinner planned for Thursday, so SHE asked if I could hang out friday before she left. She came over, watched a movie and we both passed out. No hook up. I took her to her house at 5 am so she can catch her flight. THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I SAW HER.

I texted her last Monday if she wanted to grab a ****tail that night, as I was going out of town from Thurs - Sun. She said her mom was in town all week with this face and asked when Im leaving for vacation - I told her Thurs - Sunday AND THAT WAS IT.

Waited 5 days, until Saturday when I was out of town asking her how the football game was she was supposed to go to, and she texted back she didnt go. She asked how my vacation was, I said it was great.

So Sunday comes and I ask her what she is doing Tuesday. She said she had volleyball. DIDNT COUNTEROFFER, which she did for our 2nd date.

A work dinner I had planned for today canceled so I asked if she wanted to grab a ****tail (Im busy Wednesday) - She said she had volleyball today, too many intramurals

So I just deleted her number..Im just trying to figure out what happened. As Doc Love says, a girl can't lose interest level when you aren't with her. The only thing I can think of is that I should of started calling rather than texting. But if a girl has high interest she will date you. Any thoughts, Im befuddled.

 

[anx1ety]

I'm trying to figure this out - And I know you guys can help.

Met a girl on a group trolley ride. She came back with me home, but just made out - Which was nice b/c she seemed fun/cool and worth pursuing, which Im not doing with a one night stand.

Asked her out (via text, I like the text game) and we went out for drinks. This was a Thursday. Just made out a little on the cab back to her place. Nice.

Asked for a second date. Went out for dinner. Came back to my place and hooked up (bj)...all good. That was the FOLLOWING Friday night.

The next Wednesday night, a mutual friend asks me and my roommate to go to a baseball game with her and the girl ive been dating - We go to the game, so 4 of us. We go out to the bars after and then she comes over and we have sex. All is well.

She was going out of town on that saturday and Sunday, I had a dinner planned for Thursday, so SHE asked if I could hang out friday before she left. She came over, watched a movie and we both passed out. No hook up. I took her to her house at 5 am so she can catch her flight. THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I SAW HER.

I texted her last Monday if she wanted to grab a ****tail that night, as I was going out of town from Thurs - Sun. She said her mom was in town all week with this face and asked when Im leaving for vacation - I told her Thurs - Sunday AND THAT WAS IT.

Waited 5 days, until Saturday when I was out of town asking her how the football game was she was supposed to go to, and she texted back she didnt go. She asked how my vacation was, I said it was great.

So Sunday comes and I ask her what she is doing Tuesday. She said she had volleyball. DIDNT COUNTEROFFER, which she did for our 2nd date.

A work dinner I had planned for today canceled so I asked if she wanted to grab a ****tail (Im busy Wednesday) - She said she had volleyball today, too many intramurals

So I just deleted her number..Im just trying to figure out what happened. As Doc Love says, a girl can't lose interest level when you aren't with her. The only thing I can think of is that I should of started calling rather than texting. But if a girl has high interest she will date you. Any thoughts, Im befuddled.

Maybe she's just busy? She's stressed, etc?

 

[Ridingthelightning]

Strange things happen. You met and hit it off at the right moment, and maybe its just not the right moment anymore.

 

[Zero123]

She found another guy.

 

[NewGuy72]

She found another guy.

nice pessimistic attitude dude

 

[T-Mack]

I am in a similar situation. She said her "best friend" was coming into town and made plans with him. I see facebook photos of her and that guy with their tongues touching. She didn't respond to the last text I sent her. I was banging this girl for 2 weeks straight.

I don't think you did anything wrong. These things happen all the time. It seems like you created an emotional attachment to this girl way too early. Don't do that and take your time.

This would be a good time for you to go out and meet (f u c k other girls) who are worthy of your time.

 

[horaholic]

Doc love is wrong. Interest can go down in your absence. Especially, if they meet another guy in your absense.

She's either lost interest in you, found another guy, or purposefuly blowing you off because of her own insecurities, or whatever. Women do wierd shyt like that all the time. Just move on with your life, and spin more plates. You did the right thing by deleting her #.

BTW, if things do work out between you (which is possible, but dont hold your breath), dont ever mention that you deleted her #. I did that onceand the chick flipped out. It took my two hours to explain to her that the only reason I did it, is so I wouldnt do something stuipid like drunk dial her, asnd not because I hate3d her guts or anything.

 

[Energizer]

Maybe she's just busy? She's stressed, etc?

That's what I thought.

If she is still interested, she'll get back to you.

In the mean time, occupy yourself with other things.

 

[Zero123]

nice pessimistic attitude dude

It's true.

 

[horaholic]

Maybe she's just busy? She's stressed, etc?

Noone is ever 'too busy.' And if she stressed, she'll probably vent it all to him. If a chick is interested, and she is legitimately busy, she will call late at night, to 'talk.'

 

[drak_ool]

how great was the sex? answet that question to yourself in all honesty, because if she was only looking for some hot action and you blew it, then you got your answer right there. If she was not invested in you emotionally (since she barely knows you), she won't give you a second chance if you didn't make her feel right the first time.

 

[Energizer]

Noone is ever 'too busy.' And if she stressed, she'll probably vent it all to him. If a chick is interested, and she is legitimately busy, she will call late at night, to 'talk.'

Why are 99.9% of your posts total generalisations? Seriously, you do like to generalise or so it seems.

There is no evidence here to suggest she isn't interested, people can be genuinely busy, do you not believe in the old "benefit of the doubt" olive branch?

To the topic starter, don't throw the towel in just yet, see if her interest level is there, gauge responses and you shall know your answer.

 

[horaholic]

Why are 99.9% of your posts total generalisations? Seriously, you do like to generalise or so it seems.

There is no evidence here to suggest she isn't interested, people can be genuinely busy, do you not believe in the old "benefit of the doubt" olive branch?

To the topic starter, don't throw the towel in just yet, see if her interest level is there, gauge responses and you shall know your answer.

Yes I do generalize. Generalizations=the most likely outcome/answer. Im usually right about them too. Of course there are always exceptions to everything. Sure, there is a SLIM possibility of her being genuinely too busy to hang out, or call, or show any IL at all. Theres also a possibility of me winning 10 grand the next time I play video poker, but I'll just go with the generalization of"I aint winning shyt."

I will give benefit of the doubt for CERTAIN things. Shyt happens, I understand. When shyt is constantly happening, chances are she covering up disinterest, or worse. Consistently being too busy, to hang out or even call, is not one of them. If she's too busy, then you're not very on her list, of things to do, which means she isnt very interested. He threw date ideas at her, and she just said she she had volleyball. She didnt even say anything about being busy in general. If she were interested, there would be some kind of counter offer. Something like: "No, Im super busy studying, and then I have Vball game tues., and this and that on wed.s, but I would love to hang out thursday." but I There was none. This happened more than once. Maybe Im generalizing, but that is a pretty solid indicator of low IL. She could hang out after volleyball, if she wanted. I know that doesnt last all night.

Like I said, there's exceptions, but 9 out of 10 times, she aint interested.

 

[ASUknowit18]

First off, we hung out after we had sex. We had sex Wed, hung out that Fri night. If sex was that bad (I think my performance was solid, and I know when I have bad ones) she would have made an excuse to NOT hang out Friday.

And If she was just looking for strictly casual she would have banged me the first night. If not the first, than definitely the second.

Second, as a positive, she is returning my texts and making jokes. She didnt counteroffer which is why I deleted her number - Its up to her now. If I lose interest in a girl I wont return texts period (for the most part).

I think I blew it by texting her that Monday after seeing her Friday. I should of waited until Wednesday even though I couldnt see her. But if a girl is interested, that shouldn't be a deal breaker. But I should have waited another day or 2.

I am 100% sure she isn't lying, she probably does have volleyball both nights - but its up to her to contact now, b/c Im sure as hell not initiating.

Im just trying to learn where I went wrong so I can change it going forward...the trouble is, this one is hard to figure out.

 

[Tazman]

It isn't always about what YOU did wrong. Specific things like texting the Monday after the Friday you went out, etc. is just over analyzing. I also seriously doubt your performance in bed was the reason unless you're unusually bad at it, but how often is that the real reason any chick leaves a guy?

Women do casually date guys to pass the time or until they find someone they want to latch on to. They can't handle not being in some kind of relationship, it keeps their self esteem from falling too low. A lot of guys don't like the blow to the ego when a girl loses interest. They think it has to be something specific about how they messed up their game, and although there are things you can do to easily turn a woman off, none of what you describe qualifies for that.

Her interest in you sounds mediocre and probably leveled off, and/or she has or is after another guy. That's how they operate. She may stay in contact to keep you around as Mr. Backup, but we all know you'll end up getting the short end of the stick if you allow that to happen. Just focus on moving on to other chicks and if she calls with plans for a date then move forward with it, but if it's just idle chat I'd tell her you're too busy to talk.

 

[ASUknowit18]

So I realized what happened b/c people talk.

I kind of got an answer - Keep in mind I do not want a serious relationship -She is a cool chick who is fun to hang out with.

So as I said above, we had sex on that Wednesday. She came over on that Friday, and I didnt really make a move while watching that movie or anything mostly b/c I was tired and wanted to wake and bang. But we just woke up and I dropped her off. That is a "boyfriend" thing to do. So I did screw something up when I saw her last - Didnt bang her.

I was out of town last weekend, and Im hoping for her to text me Friday or Sat night and want to come over...I hope I didnt ruin the possible "causal" relationship b/c that would be really bad. Im definitely not contacting her though.