"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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"You are attractive, but you are too old"

Derek Flint

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See my sig, which refers to a 23 year old who was having LMR

I believe the "you're too old" is either a s*** test or an excuse.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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BigDawg

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Touche'!

(whoops! the second touche' was added accidentally 'cuz the forum was experiencing difficulties this morning :()
 
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HeartlessBtch

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Re: Re: "You are attractive, but you are too old"

Originally posted by drixsa
Not trying to be judgemental but besides a nice fling, what do you really want with a 21 yr old??
Are you trying to say that a 21 year old cannot have a stable and mature relationship with a man who is a few years older than her? :trouble:
 

drixsa

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Re: Re: Re: "You are attractive, but you are too old"

Originally posted by HeartlessBtch
Are you trying to say that a 21 year old cannot have a stable and mature relationship with a man who is a few years older than her? :trouble:
Yes...
I am not saying that it cannot happen but lets be honest in anything more than a short term thing it rarely happens. Most "mature" guys want a the 21yr old for her physical appearence but after that there is usually not much else to offer.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Zeph

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Originally posted by Derek Flint
I'm 45 and I like to date women in their mid-20's

When they play the age card, I reframe it:

"It's not a question of if I'm too old for you, it's a question of if you are mature enough and experienced enough to date me"
Very good.

"Look, you're very nice, but you're just a girl , I'm interested in real women who are smart, focussed, etc. <list your criteria here> and I'm not convinced that you can be counted on for that."

(Here is the part where she tries to convince you how XYZ she is).
 

ghostin

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The only girls i kno that would even go near and older man like that are just in it for the money.

Most girls that aren't gold diggers just think old men that go after young women are just pervs.
 

Derek Flint

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Originally posted by Zeph
Very good.

"Look, you're very nice, but you're just a girl , I'm interested in real women who are smart, focussed, etc. <list your criteria here> and I'm not convinced that you can be counted on for that."

(Here is the part where she tries to convince you how XYZ she is).
Yeah, I like that too.

What it comes down to is, always, always, always have the stronger frame.
 

Derek Flint

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Originally posted by ghostin
The only girls i kno that would even go near and older man like that are just in it for the money.

Most girls that aren't gold diggers just think old men that go after young women are just pervs.

If I had your limiting beliefs, I would be sitting home weekends instead of being out and socializing with women 10, 15 or even 20 + years younger than myself.
 

ghostin

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Originally posted by Derek Flint
If I had your limiting beliefs, I would be sitting home weekends instead of being out and socializing with women 10, 15 or even 20 + years younger than myself.

As the old saying goes....... "You get what you pay for"
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Derek Flint

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Originally posted by ghostin
As the old saying goes....... "You get what you pay for"
Well, since I barely spend more than a few dollars, if any, on these chicks, my "bang for my buck" ratio is quite high.

The only other cost involved is the ocassional motel room, but when that 23 year old naked hard body is riding me at 3:30 AM, it's well worth it.
 

al77

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Re: Re: "You are attractive, but you are too old"

Originally posted by Mee
I'm in my mid 20s and can't believe a man your age is trying to date *very* young 21 year olds. That sounds chauvinistic, not to mention gross.

I must say that if you're an older man trying to hit on me, personally, you MUST be as HANDSOME as Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan, Brad Pitt, Rob Lowe, etc. to make up for your old age.

1) Though he claimed to be looking to date women who were intellectually equal to him, he admitted dating women as young as 21 years old, which was a HUGE red flag, since most men who date very young women are looking for playthings. Just trying to get laid. I was insulted that he *possibly* thought I was a slut.

2) He was good looking for his age but was no match for the youthful good looks of younger men. If he had looked like Pierce Brosnan......he would have TOTALLY qualified for me.
Why is that gross and chauvinistic? If 21y.o. want to sleep with 40y.o. than it is their own business. She is old enough to sleep with whoever she wants.

Men are looking to get laid ANYWAY, if she is 21y.o. or 40y.o. - there is no big difference: men wants to get laid. I.e. men always looking for playthings. Why you are so worried about this situation I have no idea....
If he is "serious" about a girl, than means he is willing to marry her and actually steadily pay for sex in marriage. If she is just a plaything, he still pays - but much less and not steady.
We all know that... so whats teh deal?
 

MrLuvr

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Re: Re: "You are attractive, but you are too old"

Originally posted by Mee
I'm in my mid 20s and can't believe a man your age is trying to date *very* young 21 year olds. That sounds chauvinistic, not to mention gross. When I get hit on by old men, most of the time, I get creeped out or feel insulted, because those guys must think that I am on the "same level" as they are in terms of attractiveness and desirability. I must say that if you're an older man trying to hit on me, personally, you MUST be as HANDSOME as Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan, Brad Pitt, Rob Lowe, etc. to make up for your old age. If you're a RICH old guy, then I'm sure there are plenty of young women from poor/broken homes looking to get financial support. By the way, the men I consider to be "too old" for me would be 33+. 29-32 would be ideal.

Basically, I feel that most normal, decent women would prefer to date men her own age or slightly older rather than a much older guy.

At my old job the company president, who was 37, was hitting on me. He had divorced his 34 year old wife and was single and looking. He was good looking for his age, for he worked out daily. Although he seemed smart, ambitious, and mature, 2 things troubled me:

1) Though he claimed to be looking to date women who were intellectually equal to him, he admitted dating women as young as 21 years old, which was a HUGE red flag, since most men who date very young women are looking for playthings. Just trying to get laid. I was insulted that he *possibly* thought I was a slut.

2) He was good looking for his age but was no match for the youthful good looks of younger men. If he had looked like Pierce Brosnan......he would have TOTALLY qualified for me.
Interesting comments. So, YOU could not bear to go out with an older guy because he would not be attractive enough for you, but you expect that older guys should settle for older women, just because they are older.

You say that the company president at your old job was 37 and he was hitting on you. But, he could not match the good looks of a younger man. And then you say that 29-32 is ideal for you. There is not much difference between the looks of a 32 year old man and a 37 year old man. It is marginal and if the older man is taking care of himself and the younger is not, the older man might even look better.

It is not about looks at all. I have seen a lot of attractive young girls go out with very average looking guys.

Fortunately, unlike you who seems to be totally fixated on looks, there are many women who consider other factors when dating a man.

You say you are in your mid 20s, but your comments sound like those of a 12 year old. Maybe you need to be looking for 15 year old guys. I think they will be on the same wavelength as you.
 

Aztec

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Re: Re: Re: "You are attractive, but you are too old"

Originally posted by MrLuvr

You say you are in your mid 20s, but your comments sound like those of a 12 year old. Maybe you need to be looking for 15 year old guys. I think they will be on the same wavelength as you.

:cheer: :crackup:
 

Derek Flint

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Re: Re: "You are attractive, but you are too old"

Originally posted by Mee
I'm in my mid 20s and can't believe a man your age is trying to date *very* young 21 year olds. That sounds chauvinistic, not to mention gross. When I get hit on by old men, most of the time, I get creeped out or feel insulted, because those guys must think that I am on the "same level" as they are in terms of attractiveness and desirability. I must say that if you're an older man trying to hit on me, personally, you MUST be as HANDSOME as Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan, Brad Pitt, Rob Lowe, etc. to make up for your old age. If you're a RICH old guy, then I'm sure there are plenty of young women from poor/broken homes looking to get financial support. By the way, the men I consider to be "too old" for me would be 33+. 29-32 would be ideal.

Basically, I feel that most normal, decent women would prefer to date men her own age or slightly older rather than a much older guy.

At my old job the company president, who was 37, was hitting on me. He had divorced his 34 year old wife and was single and looking. He was good looking for his age, for he worked out daily. Although he seemed smart, ambitious, and mature, 2 things troubled me:

1) Though he claimed to be looking to date women who were intellectually equal to him, he admitted dating women as young as 21 years old, which was a HUGE red flag, since most men who date very young women are looking for playthings. Just trying to get laid. I was insulted that he *possibly* thought I was a slut.

2) He was good looking for his age but was no match for the youthful good looks of younger men. If he had looked like Pierce Brosnan......he would have TOTALLY qualified for me.

This is exactly what I mean by:

"It's not a question of if I'm too old for you, it's a question of if you are mature enough and experienced enough to date me"

Especially the "mature" part.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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BigDawg

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Re: Re: "You are attractive, but you are too old"

Originally posted by Mee
I'm in my mid 20s and can't believe a man your age is trying to date *very* young 21 year olds. That sounds chauvinistic, not to mention gross. When I get hit on by old men, most of the time, I get creeped out or feel insulted, because those guys must think that I am on the "same level" as they are in terms of attractiveness and desirability. I must say that if you're an older man trying to hit on me, personally, you MUST be as HANDSOME as Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan, Brad Pitt, Rob Lowe, etc. to make up for your old age. If you're a RICH old guy, then I'm sure there are plenty of young women from poor/broken homes looking to get financial support. By the way, the men I consider to be "too old" for me would be 33+. 29-32 would be ideal.

Basically, I feel that most normal, decent women would prefer to date men her own age or slightly older rather than a much older guy.

At my old job the company president, who was 37, was hitting on me. He had divorced his 34 year old wife and was single and looking. He was good looking for his age, for he worked out daily. Although he seemed smart, ambitious, and mature, 2 things troubled me:

1) Though he claimed to be looking to date women who were intellectually equal to him, he admitted dating women as young as 21 years old, which was a HUGE red flag, since most men who date very young women are looking for playthings. Just trying to get laid. I was insulted that he *possibly* thought I was a slut.

2) He was good looking for his age but was no match for the youthful good looks of younger men. If he had looked like Pierce Brosnan......he would have TOTALLY qualified for me.
shallower than a dinner plate.
 

Lost In Translation

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great translations from ******** Maximus_Decimus

i was thinking the same thing when i read her double standards

rule of pimpin' : b*tches talk sh*t


Lost In Translation :D

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**
 

al77

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Re: Re: Re: "You are attractive, but you are too old"

Originally posted by Maximus_Decimus
Translation: I am socially conditioned to date younger men. My female friends would think I'm weird if they saw me with an older man.
....
Maximus_Decimus ,

Superb translation!! :up: !!!
 

allan976

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I'm in my ahem, "early to mid thirties" and I was dating an 18 year old late last year/early this year. Actually, I hope she was 18-- all I know for a fact was that she was a freshman in college. I just gave up on the situation first of all because I was afraid to touch her (barely legal chick) and second because we had nothing to talk about as I'm nearly twice her age.

Cute girl, but are girls this young really worth your time? It was great hugging and touching and kissing a pretty young girl, but sex with an older lover (late twenties) would be just as good, if not better (due to her experience) and an older HB might actually say something interesting to you every once and again.

Make a young chick qualify herself, in all seriousness. I know it's a cliche, but given a young girl's lack of experience, you are indeed the higher status "prize."

Allan
 

Derek Flint

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When I was 29/30 I dated an 18 year old girl.

She was great - tall, gorgeous, great body, interesting, intellegent, mature.

Much more so than most of the women my age and older.

Too bad she had to go back to the opposite coast.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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